**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Please be aware that the story WILL be spoiled in every way imaginable. And mocked. Mercilessly.
From the Back of the Book: Was it an accident – or was it cold-blooded murder? Why was Marissa so scared? What was she trying to say when she fell through the ice and drowned, leaving her sister Ryan McCauley floundering in a sea of guilt? Ryan's haunted by the feeling that she's being followed, watched. Someone is trying to make her think she's insane. Why? And now the disturbing Charles Eastman, a total stranger, is a guest in their home – because he said he was a friend of Marissa's. What does he really want? And why is handsome loner Winchester Stone, who once dated Marissa, always around whenever there's trouble. Ryan can't trust anyone. She's all alone, terrified, determined to discover Marissa's deadly secret – before she meets the same fate.
Whew. I forgot how much Cusick loves the em dash. (I also had to look up whether it was an en dash or an em dash.) I also want to note that all the grammatical errors actually appear on the back of the book. They aren't my typos.
This book was published in 1992 and this is my first time reading it. Actually, it's the first time this copy of the book has ever been read if the pristine, stiff spine is any indication. I got it from a used book store but it doesn't look used. I wonder if that's a sign.
Who are we kidding? It's definitely a sign.
Even though I've never read this particular book, I am very familiar with Cusick's work. As much as it pains me to say, I was a huge fan back in the 90's. I really don't know what was wrong with me. I've recapped at least 9 of her books here on this blog and they've all been train wrecks in one way or another (💖I still love you, Connor!💖) so buckle up. We may be in for a wild ride.
We begin with a Prologue. Our protagonist Ryan and her sister Marissa are out wandering in the woods looking for pinecones. Ryan works in a toy shop and her boss asked her to collect some things to make into store decorations for the Christmas season. Marissa isn't happy to be out in the cold and she's acting hella paranoid, jumping at every sound and constantly thinking someone is approaching. Ryan asks her why she's so jumpy and Marissa says that some asshole tailgated her all the way home the previous night and it freaked her out. Ryan says something about Marissa being more comfortable with the drive if she came home more often but it doesn't really make sense. How would that make the tailgater go away? I think Cusick was just trying to give us some background information in her usual awkward manner.
Marissa is convinced that someone is in the woods watching them and she starts to get really upset, insisting they leave. She says they need to drop the film off to be developed before the store closes for the holiday. Wow. Film developing.
There's another awkward conversation about the film where Ryan asks if Marissa gave it to her already and Marissa reminds her that it's in her purse. It would have worked so much better the other way around – if Marissa had asked Ryan if she had the film and Ryan said it was in her purse. Way less awkward and clunky. Get it together, Cusick!
Marissa is frantic as she says she has to get the pictures before she goes back to school so they need dropped off immediately. Ryan says she just needs to find a couple of branches and they can go. Suddenly Marissa grabs her and starts shaking her. She tells Ryan that she has a secret and asks Ryan to promise not to tell. Ryan promises and Marissa starts babbling about maybe being in trouble but she isn't sure and she won't know for a few days. Ryan kind of assumes she might be pregnant but Marissa seems way too paranoid for that to be the case. Unless she's been sleeping with some senator and she's worried he might kill her to keep it a secret.
Not like that's ever happened before.
👀::cough::👀
Marissa never really tells Ryan anything but it's clear that she's terrified. She keeps insisting that she sees someone moving around in the woods. Ryan loses all her patience at that point. She thinks Marissa is fucking around so that Ryan will give up on her pinecone hunt and leave. She tells Marissa that they'll get done faster if they split up and so they do. Even though it's 100% the last thing Marissa would do in her state of paranoia. Cusick is counting on us not noticing that it doesn't make sense for the plot.
A few minutes later, Marissa starts screaming for help. Ryan rushes toward the cries and sees that a small pond has been hidden by snow. Marissa walked out across it, thinking that it was solid ground but the thin layer of ice on the pond broke and Marissa fell through. Ryan tries to get close to her but the ground starts to shift and she realizes she's standing on the pond as well. She drops to her stomach to distribute her body weight more evenly and belly crawls toward Marissa who is repeatedly going under water at this point. Marissa is trying to say something but all Ryan can hear is “-ian” which she assumes is the end of her own name. However Cusick very clearly spells it “-ian” so we can be reasonably sure that it is not. Ryan grabs for Marissa's arm and manages to snag her coat sleeve. She tries to pull Marissa up but the sleeve is empty. Marissa has gone under and presumably drowned.
Chapter One picks up three weeks later. Ryan is back at school and she's inherited the feeling that someone is following her. Her friend Phoebe rocks up and they have a conversation about Ryan feeling responsible for Marissa's death. Phoebe tries to convince her that she didn't kill her sister but Ryan isn't so sure. Marissa was only there because Ryan needed those branches and pinecones. She feels like everyone is blaming her and that her mother wishes she had died instead. Her mom spends all her time in Marissa's room and barely talks to Ryan. Phoebe encourages Ryan to tell Steve about it. Steve was mentioned briefly in the prologue and I thought he was Ryan and Marissa's brother but it turns out he's the mom's boyfriend.
Awkward.
Phoebe has a little crush on Steve. He has a sports car and a boat and he's really nice to both her and Ryan. Ryan says that Steve must have family money because he can't possibly earn enough as a college professor to pay for all he has.
Steve sounds suspicious, y'all.
Odds that Steve is involved in something nefarious: 80%
As the girls walk around before school, they catch sight of Winchester. Phoebe instantly goes into raptures over how gorgeous Winchester is and how jealous she was when Marissa dated him. Ryan points out that Marissa never was truly interested in Win (I'm calling him that from now on because Winchester is a pain in the ass to type) and only dated him for clout with her friends. She reminds Phoebe that Win hangs out at the garage where Phoebe's little brother Jinx works and suggests that maybe Jinx can set them up. Phoebe hates Jinx but is almost willing to ask him because Win is so freakin hot.
{{{Note from future me: Win doesn't "hang out" at the garage. His dad owns it. And everyone knows that so I'm not sure why Ryan phrased it that way. It's bad that Cusick has already lost track of her story. That's a Stine move, Cusick. Be better.}}}
Win graduated the year before with Marissa so what the fuck is he doing hanging around the high school? This feels creepy.
Also Jinx cannot be his real name. Does his real name end in “ian” by any chance???
After school, Ryan goes to work at the toy shop. Mr Partini doesn't answer her when she calls out and she gets startled by a strange person standing out on the sidewalk. He's wearing a lumpy coat and a ski mask but it IS cold outside so it might not be as sinister as Ryan thinks it is. Ryan checks the back room for Mr Partini but he isn't anywhere to be found. She doesn't seem too worried about this so maybe it's a thing that happens often? While she's grabbing her apron, she hears the bell go off that indicates that someone has come into the shop. When she goes back into the front, she's surprised to find the shop empty.
Figuring someone came in and then just went right back out, Ryan decides to get to work. One of her tasks is to take the little family out of the big dollhouse and dust everything. Like.....she does this every day? How damn dusty does this shop get? She left the family in the parlor the day before but they aren't there. Sometimes little kids play with them and move them around so she doesn't think anything of it. She finds the family in the “back yard” of the dollhouse, standing around the little mirror that represents the pond. The pond has been broken and there's a doll in it. Somehow only her head is poking through. This makes no sense. Did someone cut a hole in the table or did they decapitate the doll?
Mr Partini shows up and Ryan rather hysterically tells him that someone broke the pond in the dollhouse and one of the dolls is drowning. When she gets back to the dollhouse, all the dolls are sitting in the parlor where she left them the day before. She can't explain it and Mr Partini thinks she is upset about Marissa. He feels responsible because he's the one who sent Ryan out looking for pinecones and branches. Ryan assures him that it wasn't his fault and wonders why it's so easy to absolve him and not herself.
Mr Partini cleans up the glass and tells her that just before she got there, someone knocked on the door and called out “delivery”. He was checking out the back alley when she arrived. I mean....it doesn't work though, because a lot of time passed between Ryan getting to work and him coming back inside. Cusick wants us to believe it took him that long to look out the back door? And that he heard someone say “delivery” from outside but couldn't hear Ryan calling for him when she got there? Holes already. Lots of holes.
I'd say that Mr Partini is sus too but he's a little old man and I think I'd go straight to hell for calling a little old man who owns a toy store suspicious.
Mr Partini thinks that Ryan needs to go home and rest since she pretty much lost it over a doll. She argues that he needs her help but he points out that the shop is empty and more or less ushers her out the door. It's already getting dark and Ryan has to walk home. She's wrapped up in her memories of Marissa's accident and blindly steps out into the street. A truck screeches to a halt but still ends up hitting her. She's thrown backwards, stunned.
Win gets out of the truck all upset. He basically starts feeling her up to check for broken bones and she finds it exciting for some reason. I don't care if the guy is cute, Ryan, he needs to get his fucking hands off you until you invite him to touch you. Ryan is fine, just shaken up. They have a brief conversation about Marissa. Win asks if she's been found yet and I'm confused because she drowned in a pond. Ryan says they might never find her because of the current from the river.
UM........
Hold up a gotdang minute.
When was there a river?
There was no river. There was a pond.
Are you telling me that an entire fucking river that drained into a fucking pond was disguised by snow to the point that it wasn't visible at all?
And don't currents usually flow TOWARD a pond and not away from it?
And.....rivers are below the surrounding ground level. If the snow was deep enough to completely disguise the river by making it look as if the ground was completely even and unbroken, wouldn't that have to make the snow pretty deep? These girls were just walking around without sinking or anything. They didn't have snowshoes or skis. How was the snow deep enough to disguise a river but shallow enough that they were walking just fine?
I'm so confused.
But for reals, there was no river.
This has me so upset. We're in chapter TWO. I have already taken four pages of notes and rage ranted to my husband and manager. CHAPTER FUCKING TWO.
Sigh.
My manager has informed me that I cannot quit the blog.
By the way, I'm still continuing to rant about this pond/river thing and my husband says the answer is “beavers”. So....beavers. From now on, everything that happens is because of beavers. EVERYTHING.
Also, do you know what I just remembered? The film. Marissa was going on and on about the film that Ryan has in her purse. Obviously there was something really important about it. If your sister died and right before her death she'd been acting really weird and banging on about film, wouldn't you develop it? I would. Cusick wants us to forget that film.
Odds that someone will start stalking Ryan to get their hands on the film that she's completely forgotten about and she's going to think they're trying to kill her: 99.9%
Win offers Ryan a ride home which is the least he can do considering he hit her with his truck. When she gets home, she finds her mom in Marissa's room again. Her mom is still hoping that Marissa will be found alive somehow. I'll be REALLY pissed if she is.
Odds that Melissa was found by a colony of beavers and saved from certain death: 1%
I could never fully discount the beavers.
The doorbell rings and Ryan assumes it's Phoebe since they made plans to study that evening. Instead it's a young man holding a pile of presents. He says the gifts are from Marissa and then greets Ryan with “You're the one who let her drown”. Dude knows how to make a first impression.
The guy introduces himself as Charles and tells Ryan and her mom that he and Marissa dated briefly. At some point that fall, the two of them had gone antiquing together and she had bought presents for Ryan and her mom but left them with Charles by accident. He found them, wrapped them and brought them over. He seems charming and Ryan almost convinces herself that he didn't really say what she heard him say but then he keeps making little digs about how Ryan must feel “punished” because her mom didn't put up a Christmas tree. Ryan decides to make her escape to Phoebe's house.
Ryan gets to Phoebe's house but she's not there. Jinx says she went out with some boy. Ryan is annoyed but quickly starts blabbing everything out to Jinx about Charles and what he said. Jinx thinks she probably misheard it and casually calls her crazy several times because Cusick thinks that's charming. She tells him that she wants a Christmas tree so he tells her to get one. She tells him that she's tired of being sad so he tells her to quit making herself so unhappy. Ryan suddenly gets nervous that she left her mom home alone with a complete stranger and decides to go back.
When Ryan gets home, her mom is gone. She had to go pick Steve up at the airport or something. Charles is still there and he tells Ryan that her mom invited him to stay for Christmas. Ryan is horrified. He comes into her room and then touches her face, running his hand down her neck, across her shoulder and down her arm like fucking psychopath. He tells her that he knows she doesn't like him but he might surprise her.
Ma'am, call the damn police.
When Ryan's mom returns, Ryan tries to talk some sense into her about Charles because they don't know anything about him and he just creepily touched her in her bedroom. Her mom says that if Marissa liked him, he must be fine but Ryan points out that they never once heard Marissa mention his name. They don't even know if he is who he says he is. Her mom bursts into sobs and Ryan lets the subject drop.
A little while later, Ryan's mom comes into the room to tell her that Charles is going to stay in her room and she has to move into Marissa's room. Ryan is hella pissed about this but her mom says she doesn't want a stranger in Marissa's room. But I guess it's fine for a stranger to be in Ryan's. I feel really bad for Ryan right now. I know her mom is grieving and that can be complicated but emotionally neglecting your living child is not okay. Ryan is super upset about everything but doesn't know what to do. Steve promises to check Charles out to the best of his ability.
At school the next day, Phoebe urges Ryan to try to seduce Charles. She thinks he must be a good guy if he brought presents. I really fear for Phoebe, y'all. She's way too dumb. She's going to end up in a serial killer's freezer.
Ryan has a pretty uneventful day at work the next day. Just before closing, Mr Partini leaves to deliver a puppet to a customer. Ryan stays behind to help the last customer. As she glances out the window, she sees the person in the puffy coat and ski mask again and gets all freaked out. Finally the customer leaves and Ryan rushes to lock the door. Someone steps in front of her and she screams but it's just Jinx. She asks about the weird guy outside but Jinx didn't see anyone.
It's probably just three beavers standing on top of each other wearing a puffy coat. Nothing to worry about.
Jinx is there to buy a teddy bear for Phoebe that she desperately wants. He asks Ryan to wrap it but she's too tired and tells him to just leave it at the store and she'll wrap it tomorrow when she gets to work. I hope she marked it so that Mr Partini doesn't sell it to anyone else. It's snowing and dark so Jinx offers her a ride home. He's that weird mix of witty/obnoxious that I thought was really cool back in the early 90's. I probably would have loved him if I'd read the book back then.
For some reason, before they even get moving, Ryan starts tickling Jinx as he's begging her to stop. I think we're supposed to find this cute but when you're touching another person in ANY way and they ask you to stop, you need to stop. It's really fucked up of her to be doing this to him when he doesn't like it and isn't enjoying it.
That scene really made no sense. What the fuck is Cusick doing?
Ryan gets home and as soon as she's inside, she hears a car start honking. At first she thinks it's Jinx and she left something in the car but the driveway is empty. Going outside, she realizes the honking is coming from Marissa's car in the garage. She goes into the garage and tries to turn on the light but nothing happens. She can see a figure sitting slumped over in the driver's side of Marissa's car. The person has long blonde hair like Marissa with red ribbons like she was wearing when she died. The hair looks wet. To Ryan's horror, the figure moves and turns on the car. The garage begins to fill with fumes. Ryan runs for the garage door but it's suddenly locked. She tries to find a way to escape but the figure is right behind her. She reaches out and can feel wet, cold clothes. Something goes around her neck and she jerks her head backwards, banging her head on the wall. Everything goes black.
Seriously, Ryan. WALK IT OFF!
Ryan comes to with Charles leaning over her. He says he opened the garage door and she just fell out, unconscious. Apparently he was given permission to put his car in the garage so that's what he was doing there. He tells her that the car wasn't running when he got there and he didn't hear a horn. He thinks she's just overwrought from grieving and encourages her to talk about her sister. In particular he wants to know if Marissa ever confided in her.
Odds that Charles is the bad guy: 40%
Odds that Steve is the bad guy: 30%
Odds that Win is the bad guy: 15%
Odds that Jinx is the bad guy: 10%
Odds that Phoebe is the bad guy: 4%
Odds that three beavers in a puffy coat are the bad guy: 1%
Never discount the beavers.
Charles gives her the morose boy routine and tells her that it would mean a lot to him if Ryan would tell him everything about Marissa's last day. He wants to know what she did and what she talked about. He wants to know what her last words were. Ryan refuses to talk about it and he gets a little aggressive with her, demanding to know. She eventually escapes into her room.
I hate to use this again so soon but......
Phoebe arrives later that evening to take Ryan caroling. Ryan has a headache and doesn't want to go but Steve encourages her to get out of the house. He's taking her mother out and I think maybe he doesn't want Ryan in the house alone with Charles? Maybe I'm reading too much into that. He looks at the bump on Ryan's head and says that it almost looks like someone hit her. Charles interrupts at that point and Phoebe invites him to go caroling with them as Ryan's date.
Ryan seriously needs a new friend.
Charles accepts the invitation and for some reason, Ryan agrees to go too. I don't even know why. Phoebe tells everyone that Ryan can sleep at her house that night so not to expect her home. I'm sure that won't be important later. Steve seems uneasy as they leave. In the car, Phoebe starts questioning Charles but he never really gives her an answer. She doesn't seem to notice. The dude actually says “I like to think I'm not like other guys” and I wonder if Cusick even realizes how very cringey that is. There's an entire subreddit dedicated to making fun of people who say that, Cusick. It isn't cool.
After caroling, which Ryan doesn't enjoy at all, they go back to this dude Michael's house for a party. Ryan finds an empty room and sits down to rest. Charles instantly appears and tries to give her a cup of apple cider. She doesn't take it. Good girl. Never, EVER, drink anything you don't pour yourself at a party. It's a good way to get drugged. Charles gives her a hurt look and reminds her that he saved her life earlier and then he leaves the room.
After he's gone, Ryan thinks to herself that she's being a bitch to him and she drinks some the cider.
She goes looking for Charles to apologize or something but then gets really dizzy and falls down. Charles appears and volunteers to carry her outside. I don't know why. Phoebe offers to drive her home but Charles says there's no need for her to leave the party. He can borrow Phoebe's van to drive her home and then he'll bring it back. Phoebe tells him to just leave it at Ryan's house for the night and she'll get it the next day. She'll get a ride home with someone else.
For some reason, Ryan doesn't even equate her dizziness with the cider she drank.
Odds that Charles drugged her: 90%
They get underway and Ryan falls asleep. Her head feels heavy and drugged. I wonder why. She wakes up at some point and looks out the window to see that they are in the middle of abso-fucking-lutely nowhere. Charles sheepishly says that he must have made a wrong turn but Ryan gets freaked out and orders him to stop the van. He suddenly jerks the wheel to the right and they slide on the snowy road before coming to a bumpy stop in a ditch.
Charles says that a dog ran out in front of him and he swerved to miss it. It was probably a beaver. He gets out and starts cursing because the hubcap is missing and the tire is flat. Ryan is way more concerned about the dog that probably doesn't exist than she is about the fact that they're stuck in a ditch and no one is expecting her home and she was probably drugged.
You know, Cusick is making Charles way too obvious here. Please tell me he's a red herring and not an effing Justin. I really don't want him to be an effing Justin.
Charles gets out and walks away from the van, looking for the hubcap. Ryan waits a minute and then gets out too, trying to find the dog to make sure it's okay. As she's walking out in the freezing cold snow, drugged and with a head injury, she hears the van drive off without her. She panics and starts wandering around aimlessly. Suddenly she hears a voice calling out to her saying “Why did you let me drown?” and “I can't come home for Christmas”. She freaks out and ends up sliding down an embankment into some shallow water. She loses consciousness as the snow starts to slowly cover her up.
If only there was a beaver around to save her.
Ryan comes to in a strange cabin. She's been undressed and put into a warm bed under several blankets. She can hear a fire crackling and then realizes that Win is in the room. He assures her that she's safe and then tells her that he found her soaking wet and all banged up after his dog came back to the cabin injured. It wasn't a Lassie situation – when he realized the dog had been clipped by a car he decided to go out and see if someone was out there lost or hurt because they don't get much traffic out that way. By the way, the dog is fine.
Win tells her that he lives in the cabin with his dad and siblings. His dad stayed overnight at his garage because of the weather but his siblings are all upstairs asleep. Ryan feels a little better that they aren't alone in the house. She asks him to take her home but he doesn't have a car and the phone lines are down because of the storm.
Odds that his siblings really exist: 50%
Ryan tells him about Charles leaving her alone and then starts to cry and says she saw Marissa out in the woods before she fell. Win is naturally confused so Ryan tells him about the incident in the garage too. Win thinks that Ryan is seeing Marissa out of her grief and encourages her to talk to him. Ryan tells him that Marissa was upset about something before she died but doesn't know what. Win seems pretty interested in the topic but doesn't push her too much. Eventually Ryan wears herself out and Win tells her to get some sleep and he'll take her home in the morning when his dad gets home.
Ryan wakes up the next morning smelling bacon and coffee. Win comes in and tells her that his dad is out in the shed and he can drive her home as soon as she eats something. He gives her her clothes which have been drying by the fireplace all night (I guess we're supposed to believe they don't have a dryer in their house – like they really dry all their clothes by the fire.) and then goes back outside to give her privacy so she can get dressed.
Before Win comes back in, Ryan is joined by Win's little sister Katy who fills her in on the fact that she slept in Win's bed the night before. So I guess his bed is in the living room? This is a weird place. Win gives Ryan some breakfast and then takes her out to the shed where his dad is hanging out. A friend of the family is there to watch the little kids, so Ryan, Win and Win's dad pile into Win's dad's tow truck and head for town.
On the way, Win's dad tells her that he went out to search the area for her car but found nothing. Ryan is confused because she told Win that Charles left her the night before. Win's dad alludes to the fact that they think she might have been drunk and Ryan is instantly furious. She can't believe that Win doesn't believe she's seeing her dead sister everywhere.
I mean......I've been there with you, girl, and even I don't believe you're seeing your dead sister everywhere. Clearly I know that beavers are fucking with her but I can understand why Win might have thought she was drinking. She had been drugged after all.
When they get home, the house is empty. Ryan goes up to Marissa's room and finds a gift on the bed with her name on it. She assumes it was one of the gifts that Charles brought with him and she opens it for some reason even though it isn't Christmas. Inside is the necklace Marissa was wearing when she died.
Ryan gets upset and runs from the house. She collides with Charles on the front porch and he seems relieved to see her. She takes off running and he physically tackles her to the ground to force her to listen to him. He says that he thought she was still sleeping in the back of the van and didn't realize she'd gotten out until he got home. He tried to look for her but couldn't remember where they'd hit the dog. He claims he called the police to report her missing.
Odds that he really notified the police she was missing: 25%
Also, how exactly did he drive away on that flat tire? Did Cusick forget that she told us the tire was flat? Because I didn't forget she told us the tire was flat.
Maybe the beavers fixed it.
Ryan's mom ended up staying with a friend because of the snow so she doesn't even know that Ryan was missing all night. So apparently these police that Charles totally really notified didn't try to contact her mother.
Sure.
Charles sounds like he was worried about her and his eyes are all sad and wounded so Ryan believes him. She asks him about the gift on the bed and he tells her that it isn't the one he brought for her. The one he brought was big and definitely not a necklace.
Ryan's mom gets home and insists that Ryan get into bed. Ryan and Charles head up there to make sure that Ryan's mom doesn't see the necklace. Charles is skeptical that it's really Marissa's. He thinks maybe it's just an identical one which makes a lot of sense. Marissa's mom comes up and says that she's called Ryan in sick to work and asked her doctor to prescribe her a sedative. Seems like overkill, but okay.
Charles agrees to take Ryan's mom grocery shopping which leaves Ryan alone in the house. She calls Phoebe but Jinx is the only one home. He mentions that Phoebe told him the cider was spiked at the party so Ryan figures she was just drunk and not drugged. Ryan asks him if he'll come get her and let her hang out at his house but he tells her he doesn't want to go to the effort. She begs but he just makes fun of her, so she hangs up in frustration.
A few minutes later, she hears footsteps walking around downstairs. She figures it's Steve but when she calls out his name, no one answers. Scared, she hides under her covers. A car door slams outside and she hears a second person come inside. It turns out to be Jinx who has ridden to the rescue after all. He tells her that he saw some guy sneaking out the back door and she freaks out. Jinx realizes that the person wasn't invited in and he races off to check out the house and the yard.
Jinx finds some footprints out in the snow but Ryan doesn't want him to follow them. She doesn't want him to call the police either for some reason. Jinx comes back inside and makes her sit on a chair. He bathes her face with a cool cloth and holds her hands to try to get her to calm down. She asks him if she's going crazy and he tells her to talk to him. She spills out everything – including the fact that Marissa was in some sort of trouble. He asks why she hasn't told anyone else and she says she's doing it out of loyalty. If it was something bad, she doesn't want her sister's name tarnished.
Jinx seems annoyed that she spent the night with Win and angry that she's clearly being terrorized by someone. He clearly has feelings for her but she's too dumb to pick up on what's right in front of her face. He even says something to that effect and it goes right over her head. Ryan isn't very smart.
I mean, she STILL HASN'T DEVELOPED THE FILM!!!
Also.....I kind of love Jinx, y'all. I guess 2022 me isn't much different from 1992 me. Sigh.
Jinx agrees to take Ryan back to his house and she volunteers to pay for his gas and a new pizza. They stop at the garage where Win's dad works because I guess it's also a gas station and he comes out to the car to check on Ryan. They hold a brief conversation and the only thing we learn is that the phone was working at the cabin. At least that's what Win's dad says. I think we're supposed to take this as a big lie that Win told her for some reason but it could just be that the phone went out after his dad called and his dad just didn't know about it because he wasn't there.
When they get to the pizza place, Ryan has to dig through her purse to find some money. She finally locates the film and remembers how eager Marissa was to get it developed. She asks Jinx if he'll take her to the drugstore after he grabs his pizza and he agrees. There's this little misdirect where Ryan thinks a man is after her but it turns out Jinx's car is just blocking him in. It's real dumb but it lets Cusick show how protective of Ryan Jinx is.
💖
They drop off the film and go back to Jinx's house. Ryan goes up to Phoebe's room and takes a nap. When she wakes up, she finds Jinx asleep on the couch. For the first time she realizes he's all grown up and very good looking. (((His name is Jimmy by the way, so it's nothing that ends with “ian”.)))
Phoebe gets home and talks Ryan into going to a coffee shop with her so they can catch up. They take Jinx's car without his permission. At the shop, Phoebe tells her that she's going to the dance with Michael and she wants Ryan to ask Charles so they can go together. Ryan is pissed but Phoebe just keeps demanding she do it. I don't like Phoebe, y'all. Why is the best friend always toxic in these books? Ryan tells her 'no' and Phoebe starts throwing a massive fit, whining that it's their last New Year's dance together and telling Ryan that she's ruining everything by not going with a man who probably drugged her and definitely left her out in the snow. She tries to guilt Ryan and emotionally manipulate Ryan into going to a dance with a man she's afraid of but Ryan holds her ground.
When they get back to Jinx's car they find all four of his tires slashed. The only pay phone nearby is being used, so Phoebe decides to walk down to the Win's dad's garage. For some reason, she insists that Ryan stay there at the coffee shop even though it's about to close. It's dumb. They should definitely stick together since it's late. Splitting up is almost never a good idea. Ryan waits for awhile and then decides to walk toward the garage to find Phoebe. She feels like she's being followed and then a man in a Santa suit chases her for a block before Phoebe and Win's dad show up.
Win's dad takes them back to the garage and sets them up with hot cocoa before heading back out to check out the damage to Jinx's car. Win comes in while they're waiting and he looks super exhausted. Ryan confronts him about the phone and he says he was sure it wasn't working. She isn't sure whether to believe him.
I want to believe him. Win seems like a sad little puppy and I'm probably going to fall in love with him too. Watch him turn out to be the bad guy.
Or three beavers in a Win suit.
Win's dad tows Jinx's car back to the shop and tells Win to drive the girls back to Phoebe's in the truck. The car is going to have to stay because the tires were damaged beyond repair. Phoebe is freaking out. When they get back to her house, Jinx is pissed. The garage called him since it's his car and he's already called Phoebe's dad. She's grounded which means she can't go to the NY dance after all. She flips her wig and starts screaming at Jinx like it's all his fault. To get even with him, she yells that she knows he has a crush on Ryan and that he has pictures in his room of her and a letter declaring his feelings that he never sent. Poor Jinx is completely humiliated and Ryan feels awful.
I definitely want to hug Jinx. Sigh. This is 💖Connor💖 all over again.
Ryan slinks off to the kitchen to call home and ask Steve to pick her up. On the drive home, Steve tells her he looked into Charles. He's the editor of the school newspaper and very respected around campus. Or at least the person named Charles is. We have no idea if this guy is really Charles at all.
Odds that Charles is the bad guy: 60%
Odds that Steve is the bad guy: 30%
Odds that Win is the bad guy: 9%
Odds that three beavers in a puffy coat are the bad guy: 1%
I mean, seriously, Charles definitely drugged her, Steve has a suspicious amount of money and keeps flying places, there's no way Cusick is going to let me like both Jinx AND Win and you can never discount the beavers.
When they get home, Ryan finds Charles in Marissa's room trying to break into one of her locked desk drawers. He tells her that he's trying to find what Marissa was worried about before she died. Apparently she worked on the paper too as the gossip columnist. Right before Thanksgiving, she told him that she'd uncovered something big that was going to be a huge scandal but she was waiting on some kind of proof before she revealed anything.
Like the film perhaps?
Ryan tells Charles about the film and they both come to the conclusion that Marissa found something and was murdered because of it. Ryan fears the killer is now after her too.
The next day, Ryan goes to work. It's a long day and at the end of it, her mom calls to tell her she'll be half an hour late. Mr Partini has to deliver some toys so Ryan is left alone to lock up. She turns out all the lights but forgets to lock the door. She's just standing around staring into space when she realizes the person in the puffy coat is back outside. This time he comes in. Ryan hides as the person walks through the store. He's playing a recording of Marissa's voice that quite clearly came from some kind of answering machine or something. Ryan freaks out though. He starts activating all the toys and Ryan further loses it, thinking the toys are coming alive to torment her. Yeah, I don't know why. She runs for the front door but it's jammed so she pounds on the glass until it breaks. Bleeding, she runs down the street.
It's weird that these things only happen when Mr Partini makes deliveries. And why does he make so many? Who the hell is ordering that many toys and asking them to be delivered by an elderly man?
Everything is closed in the area so she heads for the garage. There's a group of guys outside working on a truck and one of them is Jinx. At first he grumbles at her because he's still clearly embarrassed by what Phoebe revealed but then he sees all the blood. In a panic, he grabs some towels to wrap around her wrists and shoves her toward a nearby car. I think it belongs to one of his friends. Ryan starts telling him about Marissa talking in the store and all the toys attacking her and the other guys start to laugh and call her crazy. Jinx tells them all the shut up and he covers Ryan with his jacket and puts her in the car to take her to the ER.
💖
Jinx clearly thinks Ryan....I want to say this without triggering anyone.....he thinks she tried to reunite with her sister on purpose. Ryan isn't helping matters by saying she had to do it because no one was helping her and she couldn't get out any other way. It's just vague enough for him to get the wrong idea. He drives her to the ER and then she's whisked away. The doctors clearly think the same thing Jinx thinks and, again, the things Ryan is saying aren't clearing up the matter.
Time passes and Ryan is all bandaged up and released. Her mom and Steve come to get her. Her mom says that Charles was the one who was supposed to pick her up which confuses Ryan because Mr Partini said that her mom was coming. Apparently Charles went to the shop to get her and found the glass broken. He assumed there had been a robbery and he called the police. Charles, Win, Phoebe and Jinx are all in the waiting room. Ryan tries to ask Charles if the man was still in the shop when he got there but her mom won't let her talk to him. She's driven home, given a tranquilizer and put in her mom's bed to sleep.
Monday arrives and Ryan calls the drugstore to see if her film is back. The person who answers the phone tells her that it's already been picked up. As far as I know, only Jinx and Charles knew about the film being dropped off. Jinx isn't the bad guy so it's definitely Charles.
Or three beavers in a puffy coat.
Is it just me or do you want the bad guy to be Steve even though it's definitely Charles? Because I totally want the bad guy to be Steve. He has a position of authority at the college where Marissa and Charles worked on the paper. A scandal would be bad for him. If the bad guy isn't Steve, I'm going to be hella pissed even though I know it's definitely Charles.
The phone rings and someone identifies himself as a police officer. The line is full of static so Ryan can't hear him well but he says that a body has been found and they think it might be Marissa. The voice asks her to come out to this remote location to identify the body and Ryan agrees.
She's SO FUCKING DUMB.
They'd never ask her to go to the scene. She'd identify the body in the morgue. Has she NEVER watched TV in her life?
Ryan's on her way out when Jinx calls. She tells him that she's leaving to identify Marissa's body. He tries to stop her and tell her it's suspicious but she doesn't listen and she leaves. At least he knows where she's going.
Ryan arrives at the scene but there aren't any police around. Instead the man in the puffy coat appears, chasing her toward an old barn. She runs inside and instantly falls through a hole in the floor. A second person appears holding a lantern.
There's two of them?
One of them better be Steve, y'all.
I'm fine with the other one being a beaver, but one of them better be Steve.
So things get really stupid, really fast. Most of our cast shows up in the barn at this point. Jinx is there with good intentions – he wants to rescue Ryan – but he is immediately knocked unconscious and thrown down into the pit with her. The man in the puffy coat is, indeed, Steve. He killed Marissa and he wants to stage Ryan's death to look like.....well, you know....since everyone thinks she already attempted and failed. The man with the lantern is Charles. We also welcome in Mr Partini and Win.
So here's the deal. Apparently Mr Partini is some kind of drug lord. His toy store is a front for a cocaine ring. Charles and Steve are running drugs through campus I guess. And poor Win has been making deliveries. When it started, he had no idea what he was doing. When he found out, Mr Partini said he would burn Win's dad's garage down and kill his family. So Win is kind of trapped. Marissa accidentally got a picture of Steve making a drug deal and told Charles about it, not realizing that Charles was part of the operation himself. They knew she had some kind of proof but they didn't know what it was. Steve killed her thinking that would take care of the problem and Charles appeared to see what Ryan might have known. He's the one who picked up the film.
This is so ridiculous. Cusick just loves the chaos of having every character in the book in one place at the end trying to tell the story.
Mr Partini, Charles and Steve want to step away and discuss what they're going to do now that Jinx has complicated things. Win is freaking out because he had no idea anyone was going to get hurt. He honestly didn't know about the Marissa aspect at all since he just makes deliveries. They tell him to hold a gun on Ryan and Jinx while they figure things out. He balks but Mr Partini threatens his brothers and sisters.
As soon as the others are gone, Win lowers a ladder into the pit. He tells them that there's a back door in the barn and hands them the keys to his truck. There's a CB or something inside and he tells them to call the police and then get the hell out of there. Ryan doesn't want to leave him but he says he's dead anyway. There's no way they're going to let him live when he knows they killed Marissa. She still wants him to come with them but he insists that they need him to distract the others so they can get away. Jinx pulls her away and they make a run for it.
They make it to Win's truck but it won't start. Charles and Steve catch up to them and pull Jinx out of the truck. Suddenly the barn goes up in flames and both Charles and Steve abandon them to race that way. I'm guessing there might be drugs in there or something. Jinx gets back in the truck and and manages to start it. He tries to drive away but he keeps sliding in the snow and ice. Steve starts firing at them which adds to the panic. The back window explodes and Ryan tells Jinx that she's been shot. He immediately stops the truck to check on her and it turns out she just got cut by the flying glass.
Charles reaches them again and he breaks Jinx's window with the gun. He aims it right at Jinx's head but before he can pull the trigger, Win shoots him. Win yells at Jinx to get them out of there and then jumps on the running board and hangs on through the broken window. Jinx is bleeding everywhere and I'm honestly not sure if it's from the glass when his window broke or if Charles hit him with the gun. He follows Win's directions and they eventually get away.
Time passes. Win is now state's evidence against Mr Partini and Steve. Jinx was grazed by a bullet....I'm not sure which one.....but he's okay. Ryan's okay. She thanks Jinx for always being there when she was scared and he gets all flustered. The book ends with her asking him to the New Year's dance and him agreeing to go.
So.....that whole "-ian" thing that Cusick made SUCH a big deal about in the prologue amounted to NOTHING. No one's named ended in "-ian". It was never explained. It was never even mentioned again.
Odds that Cusick forgot all about the "-ian" aspect: 1,000,000,000%
You know what the really irritating thing is? If I'd read this book in 1992 I would have kept it because of Jinx. He's going to join the Connor tier for me now. Every character in every Cusick book might suck but I'll always have 💖Connor💖 and 💖Jinx💖.
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