**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Please be aware that the story WILL be spoiled in every way imaginable. And mocked. Mercilessly.
From the Back of the Book: Poppy Miller swears she will get payback for Jack Saber's cruel prank that humiliated her in front of all her friends. Then her classmates start turning up dead. All eyes are on Poppy. Is Poppy being framed? Or did the kids of Shadyside High mess with the wrong girl?
This book was published in 2018 and I wasn't even aware of its existence until I saw it at the used bookstore. The cover art is a little odd. The girl, who I assume is supposed to represent Poppy, is standing really weird. It makes her body look strange. Otherwise it's okay. I kind of miss the campy style of the older books.
We begin with our protagonist introducing herself and telling us that she's not a criminal despite the fact that she robbed the store. Apparently Poppy and her friends were bored and wanting to be internet famous so they decided to rob a store and video the entire thing. Manny operated the camera while Poppy, Jack, Ivy and Jeremy pulled off the heist. Poppy wasn't super into the idea but she really wanted to impress Jack so she went along. At the last minute, Jack gave her a gun. Poppy tells us that she panicked a little and the gun went off and her life changed forever.
Part One takes us back in time six weeks. Poppy is again talking about being bored. It's the spring of her junior year and she just can't get excited about anything. Including her boyfriend Keith. She's just not very into him but also not inclined to do anything about it. She tells us that her best friend Ivy is “nice” but her only personality trait is having good hair and Ivy's boyfriend Jeremy is “quiet” and pretty much allergic to everything. Manny is the clown of the group, always making people laugh. He can also play several instruments and that's not a euphemism. Poppy herself is very into poetry. (((Note from future me: Poppy brings up poetry ad nauseum for about two chapters and then it's completely forgotten for the rest of this VERY LONG book.)))
Odds that Manny is the second to die: 70% The funny one always dies after the one who shows her boobs first. It's law.
The five friends are hanging around the mostly dead mall. It's almost closing time so they make their way toward the exit. They pass a pet store and Poppy wants to go in and cuddle the puppies. Jeremy refuses because he's allergic to pet dander and Poppy offers him her scarf to wrap around his nose and mouth. She tells us that she's never without a scarf and I'm sure this detail will prove important at some point so I'm including it. Jeremy refuses the scarf because he's probably allergic to Poppy's detergent.
I swear to you, I'm tired of these people already. They're exhausting.
Poppy's about to go into the pet store when the mall doors open and Jack strides through. Poppy tells us he's super cool with spiky hair, an earring and a tattoo. She immediately ruins the coolness, however, when she tells us that he walks like a cowboy. Jack is the new kid at school and they've never talked before but he walks up to them and says hi. He asks them what they're doing and Poppy says they're just hanging around. Jack smiles and asks if they want to do something dangerous.
Jack tells them that he was just fired from the pet store that afternoon for “no reason”. He wants to play a prank on the store owner. Somehow he has obtained 15 stray dogs and he wants to let them loose in the pet store. He asks the others to help him. Keith outright refuses because he's the rule-follower of the group. I relate, Keith. The others think it will be hilarious. Manny mentions that he saw a YouTube video with someone doing something similar and they went viral and got famous. He says he wants to record the entire thing on his phone. And thus, the idiocy was born I guess.
They herd the dogs from Jack's truck into the pet store. Chaos immediately ensues. The dogs are apparently hungry and start ripping open food sacks to eat. One of the bigger dogs jumps up on the store owner and knocks him over. Things break. Manny just laughs and makes sure everything is in frame. The owner screams that he's calling the police and the teens scatter, leaving the poor dogs behind.
What the fuck, Stine? Was it necessary to be a dick this early in the book?
In the parking lot, Poppy discovers that Keith has taken off without her. Jack offers her a ride home and she accepts. She tells us that he even drives dangerously which she seems to find exciting. When he parks in front of her house, the two of them start making out. She tells him she has a boyfriend but neither of them seem very concerned with that.
When Poppy goes inside, her sister Heather is waiting for us. Poppy tells us that she and Heather are pretty much opposites in every way. If that's true, I think I'll like Heather because Poppy is an awful human being. Heather tells her that Manny uploaded the video on Instagram and she's already watched it a bunch of times. Wow. Manny is fast.
But why did he put it on Instagram instead of YouTube? Wasn't the entire point to get YouTube famous?
Heather is super pissed because Poppy didn't take her to the mall. She accuses Poppy of never spending time with her. Poppy says that Heather needs her own friends and that she can't expect Poppy's friends to hang out with her. Heather is so mad she throws a trophy at Poppy's head and it embeds itself in the wall. Poppy thinks to herself that her sister is actually dangerous.
Dangerous seems to be our key word in this book. Stine is using it a lot.
Also, we're clearly supposed to think that Heather is dangerous too but I refuse. Stine can't fuck with my head that easily.
Time passes but I don't know how much. Ivy excitedly tells Poppy that their video has over 10,000 views and Buzzfeed picked it up. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Poppy doesn't seem to care very much. She has a play audition to get to. Poppy is feeling pretty confident because she's been taking acting lessons at a local theater. The play was written by Mr G the drama club advisor. It's about six teenagers trapped in a haunted, abandoned hotel. Poppy is hoping to get the role of Final Girl. Everyone wants to be the Final Girl.
When did Poppy become an actress? I thought she was obsessed with poetry?
Poppy has already memorized all of FG's lines and has been practicing her screams in her room for days. It's driving her mom and sister nuts. Also trying out for FG is someone named Rose who Poppy secretly hates because Rose acts all stuck up and superior. Rose has seen the pet store video and she's not very impressed. Poppy defends it, saying it was funny. Rose clearly doesn't think so and warns Poppy away from Jack. This rattles Poppy pretty hard because now she's wondering if Rose knows she cheated on Keith.
Poppy gets called to audition first and she's still so shaken by her conversation with Rose that she completely fucks the audition. Embarrassed, she goes to leave the theater but she's stopped when Heather makes a surprise appearance, striding down the aisle with a knife in her hand. Poppy watches in horror as Heather raises the knife up and stabs herself with it in the chest and then the chapter ends.
{{{GASP}}}
LOLZ
It was a stage knife. Heather's fine. She's there to audition for one of the small parts. She's never shown an interest in acting before and Poppy is a little suspicious of her motivation. She thinks that maybe Heather is just a little too obsessed with her. Poppy really has Main Character Syndrome.
Can you have Main Character Syndrome if you're actually a main character? Probably not. But you know the type of person I mean. Poppy is that.
By the way, Stine told us that this play takes place in a haunted, abandoned HOTEL but all of the dialogue refers to it as a HOUSE. Keep track of your fucking story, Stine. It's too early for this shit to be happening.
Heather auditions and it's even worse than Poppy's. She speaks in a monotone and has no sense of timing or projection. Afterwards Poppy tells her that she was awesome to avoid any kind of fight. Heather beams and goes off to study with someone named Brie. Poppy knows Heather isn't going to get the part but figures they'll deal with that later.
(((Note from future me: Brie never gets mentioned again. I can't believe I went through all the trouble of highlighting her name and she never comes back. What a waste of Bold.)))
Keith is waiting for Poppy outside of the theater. She tells him she bombed and he tells her that she's always too hard on herself. This pisses Poppy off because she's not hard on herself at all. In fact, she thinks she's pretty great and that one of her best qualities is that she never gets in her own way. She tells us she's extremely judgmental of other people but not of herself so Keith really doesn't know her at all.
Keith wants to go for a Coke or something but Poppy brushes him off. She really wants to break up with him but doesn't really know how to approach that conversation so she just doesn't. As she's walking home, a Shadyside police officer begins to follow her in his car. She tries to wave to him but he doesn't respond, just continues to drive slowly along beside her. She stops and decides to walk over to the car but the officer speeds off before she can approach. It's a very weird interaction and Poppy doesn't know what to make of it.
We switch POV to Ivy now. I missed reading the heading above the chapter and got really confused for a few paragraphs but eventually figured it out. Ivy tells us that Jeremy spent Friday evening at her house and had dinner with her family. He was actually supposed to be with his family but forgot and his phone was dead so they couldn't reach him. For some reason, everyone blames Ivy for this little mishap and I don't even understand why. Neither does she.
She tells us that Jeremy is a pretty great boyfriend. He watches reality TV with her and listens while she talks about celebrity gossip. She loves to bake and he always helps her even though she knows he'd rather be playing WOW instead. His only fault, according to Ivy, is that he spaces out a lot and he has a ton of allergies. I don't know why she thinks having allergies is a fault. She sounds like a gem.
After Jeremy leaves, Keith calls. He tells Ivy that he's really worried about Poppy. She isn't answering his calls or returning his texts and he's worried that she's pissed at him for not taking part in the prank. Ivy knows that Poppy wants to break up with him but she's not about to break her friend's trust and say that. She tells Keith that she'll check in with Poppy and tell her that he's trying to reach her. He thanks her and ends the call.
Ivy drives over to Poppy's house instead of calling. I guess she's operating under the assumption that Poppy's phone is dead and Poppy isn't just ducking Keith's calls. When she gets there, she sees Jack's truck in Poppy's driveway and decides not to stop after all.
Now we're back with Poppy. I have no idea why that chapter from Ivy was necessary. It didn't really tell us anything of value. I hate useless POV shifts.
Poppy walks to school with Heather on Monday morning. Heather is chattering away about some boy she has a crush on but Poppy can't be bothered to listen. She's too busy thinking about Jack and how he's all wrong for her but she wants the dick anyway. Heather is hurt that Poppy isn't listening and runs off ahead. When Poppy gets to her locker, Rose is there. She tells Poppy that she got some kind of acting scholarship and then announces that Poppy didn't get a role in the play. Poppy is pissed and reaches into her locker for the stage knife. She plunges it into Rose and then is horrified to discover it wasn't a stage knife after all. It was real.
{{{GASP}}}
LOLZ
None of that happened. It was all in Poppy's head. Well, the stabbing part anyway. She really didn't get cast in the play at all.
That evening, Poppy, Ivy, Jeremy and Manny decide to hang out at Poppy's house since her mom and sister aren't home. Talk eventually turns to what their next big prank should be. Poppy wants to do something to Rose to pay her back for being such a bitch about the play. They're tossing around ideas when Jack suddenly shows up. He just walks right into Poppy's place. Maybe she should consider locking her door.
They go back to talking about what they could do to Rose. Poppy says she wants to put a laxative in the water bottle Rose is always carrying around. She figures she'll do it opening night and maybe they'll get lucky and Rose will poop herself onstage. Jack tells Poppy that everyone will know she did it and she'll probably get arrested for assault. Poppy is crushed that he didn't like her idea so she decides to one-up it and suggests they cause a car crash.
{{{GASP}}}
LOLZ
She doesn't want to cause a real crash. She wants to stage one on opening night that blocks traffic so no one can get to the auditorium to watch the play. It's a really dumb idea but everyone eventually gets onboard with it. Jack is the only one who doesn't seem super excited. They decide they need a name for their group and Poppy suggests the Shadyside Shade which is equally stupid. They all seem to love it though.
We hop into Keith's head now. He's pretty torn up about Poppy not returning any of his calls. He knows that she thinks he's a little boring but he's on the waiting list for Tufts and it's important to his dad that he gets in. He has to do things carefully to avoid disappointing his parents but he's really afraid of losing Poppy because of it. She's his first real girlfriend and he doesn't want to lose her.
After calling her for the 10th time and getting no answer, he decides to drive over to her house. When he gets there he sees all the cars parked around and realizes she's there with all her friends....and Jack....but not him. Upset, he drives home recklessly and fast. He realizes he kind of enjoys the rush and when he gets back to his house, he breaks into his parents' liquor cabinet and finds the rum. He does a lot of drinking and a little self harm (which I refuse to describe) to prove to himself that he's not as boring as Poppy thinks he is.
Stine is not subtle. He's obviously setting Keith up as the "crazy" one and we all know who the bad guy always ends up being.
Sigh.😩
We're back with Poppy now. It's opening night of the play and Poppy and Ivy are driving to get into position for the fake car accident. Poppy announces that she broke up with Keith. She broke the news to him at work in front of other people and rather triumphantly describes how he teared up. I hate Poppy.
They're bringing three vehicles for this little prank so they can block off as much of the road as possible. Ivy and Poppy are in Ivy's mom's SUV. Jeremy and Manny are in Jeremy's car. Jack has borrowed an SUV from his cousin. They all get to the intersection during a lull in traffic. Ivy carefully bumps her SUV into Jack's SUV and then Jeremy bumps into Ivy's SUV from the side. Poppy is pleased with how it looks but decides to sweeten the scene a little. She has a smoke machine she sneaked out of the prop room at school and she carefully puts it in the compartment between Ivy's seats and turns it on. No one else knows about the smoke machine and she looks forward to seeing their reactions.
Manny gets on top of Jeremy's car to film everything. They're planning to upload to Snapchat and Facebook first and then put it on their Shadyside Shade YouTube channel later. Chaos begins with traffic backing up on all sides. No one can get through and Poppy is feeling pretty damn proud of herself when the smoke starts to pour out of Ivy's SUV. Unfortunately the smoke isn't as fake as Poppy intended. Real fire breaks out and quickly engulfs the vehicle.
I guess that smoke machine wasn't a great idea, Poppy.
To Poppy's horror, the SUV actually explodes. None of them are hurt. Somehow. The police and fire department arrive and Poppy is surprised to see that the cop that stalked her the other night is there. It turns out he's Manny's older brother Benny. He encourages them to take lots of pictures for insurance before the vehicles get towed away. Poppy knows this is all her fault and he wonders how her friends are going to react once they find out.
We're back with Ivy now. She knows about the smoke machine and she's pretty pissed. Her parents are blaming her for everything and she knows the punishment is going to be severe. She's mad a Poppy but she doesn't want to lose their friendship even though Poppy almost killed her with that explosion. The useless chapter ends with Ivy getting a text that Manny uploaded the video.
We hop into Keith's head now. He's stunned that Manny uploaded the video and glad that he's no longer friends with any of them so he can't get into trouble. The first part of the video looks so fake that Keith knows the police will be suspicious if they happen to see it. He thinks Manny is a huge idiot for uploading.
That was useless too. I swear, Stine is just writing filler at this point. Neither of those chapters was necessary at all.
We're back with Poppy. It's a shame that the Poppy chapters are the only ones that really move the story along. Poppy has a new job as a waitress and I'm absolutely riveted by the restaurant scene Stine treats us to.
Sigh.😩
Poppy doesn't want the job but her mom insisted that she prove she's a responsible person after the car prank. I guess everyone knows it's a prank? Shouldn't these kids be in jail or something? I'm super confused.
Ivy and Jeremy come in. Ivy is miserable because her parents made her cancel some modeling class she had booked for the summer and now she has to nanny her cousins. Poppy says that she has to miss her summer theater workshop so she's just as bummed as Ivy is. I guess it's a competition now? She asks Ivy and Jeremy to come to her house after her shift because Jack wants to talk to them about a new prank. Ivy doesn't want to do anymore pranks but Poppy says this one can't fail.
I guess no one learned a lesson.
Poppy is surprised when Rose comes into the restaurant with Heather. She goes over to their table to see what's up and Rose tells her that she's giving Heather acting lessons. Poppy thinks everything in the world is about her so she knows that the two of them are just doing this to get to her. She thinks Rose is stringing Heather along about acting in order to make Poppy look like a bad sister and she thinks Heather is hanging out with Rose because she knows Poppy hates her. This girl is exhausting.
I don't think I've ever met a character as conceited as Poppy and I've read both Canby Hall and Sweet Valley High.
When Poppy eventually brings Heather and Rose their orders, Rose complains that she asked for no bun. Poppy knows she didn't but Rose insists that she wants Poppy to take it away and bring her one without a bun. Poppy removes the top bun from the burger and then smashes the burger as hard as she can into Rose's face. Rose screams and the entire restaurant turns to watch. Rose grabs Poppy around the neck and the two of them begin to fight their way through the place, upending tables and breaking plates.
Poppy gets fired.
Afterwards, she meets with her friends at her house. She blames Rose for everything even though she was the first one to get aggressive. Jeremy even points out that she started it by shoving a burger in Rose's face but Poppy brushes that off and says it had to be done. She tells them that she needs to do a prank to take her mind off how awful she feels. Ivy immediately says that she's out. She's in enough trouble. Jeremy seems to be leaning that way too but Jack assures them that he has a great idea that can't fail. He wants to rob a store.
{{{GASP}}}
I don't know if it's a LOLZ or not. We skip into Heather's head. She's sitting with Rose in Rose's bedroom. They're both still a little stunned by what happened at the restaurant. Rose's nose hurts but it's not broken. She jokes that she'd have to sue Poppy if it was. Heather is embarrassed. She really thinks Rose is an amazing person and a wonderful actress and she'd really been looking forward to learning from her. Contrary to Poppy's belief, Heather hanging out with Rose had nothing to do with her sister. She just genuinely wants to become a better actress and figures Rose is the perfect person to help her. Rose has Heather start with Shakespeare but their lesson is cut short when Rose gets a call from a boy.
That was mostly useless. I guess maybe it was important for us to learn that Heather doesn't really have it in for Poppy like Poppy thinks.
So I guess Jack was serious about wanting to rob the store. He assures them all that it wouldn't be a real robbery – just a prank. Manny thinks it's pretty stupid but Jack assures them that they won't get in trouble. The store owner will be in on it and they won't really steal anything. He tells them that he already picked out a store. It's a small convenience store that's been mentioned a few times in this book because it's near Poppy's house. Keith likes to hang out there with one of the employees who is a Shadyside High drop out. Anyway, Jack assures them that Harlow, the owner, will go along with it and they'll get really famous.
We skip ahead a few days. Jack, Ivy and Poppy are driving over to Harlow's to check out the place and make plans. Jeremy can't go with them because he had an asthma attack at school and got taken away by ambulance. He was back home by dinner but not feeling well enough to participate in the scouting activity. Manny is MIA. He's not answering his phone and no one knows where he is.
They walk around inside the convenience store and make note of security cameras and exits. Jacks says that they need to get Manny there because he's the one who will be filming and he needs to get familiar with everything. Poppy offers to try him again and steps through a door in the back (I have no idea why she did this). She finds herself in a small storage area and is surprised that there's another employee back there. It's Lucas, the dropout that Keith likes to hang around with. Poppy lies and says she thought it was the bathroom but he doesn't respond and it makes her nervous.
The door slams all on it's own and Poppy panics that she's locked in a room with this “creep”. Lucas tells her it does that sometimes and makes a joke about it being haunted. He opens it right up for her and she quickly makes her exit. He tells her bye and calls her by name and it's only later that she wonders how he knew her.
It's another day and Poppy is in the school workout room after school. Manny is there too and she goes up to talk to him. He asks her if she's talked to Keith lately and she says she hasn't. Manny tells her that Keith looks pale and like he's lost a lot of weight and he think there might be something wrong with him. He asks Poppy if Keith ever did drugs and Poppy laughs that Keith is much too boring for that. Manny says he's seen Keith hanging out with Lucas and implies that Lucas might be into the drug scene since he dropped out of school. Poppy disdainfully says that Keith would never hang out with a dropout who has a nose ring and sweeps floors.
I really hate Poppy.
Poppy tells Manny that they talked to Harlow and he's down for the prank. He said he could use the publicity. They talk about a few details right there out in the open like complete idiots. They want to do it on a weekday so there won't be many other people around. Manny asks if he should let his brother in on things in case another customer calls the police. That way the police will know it's not a real robbery and they won't be in any danger. Poppy dismisses this and says everything will be fine and he shouldn't warn his brother about it.
We skip ahead to Thursday night – the night of the robbery. Jack has borrowed another car. I don't know where he keeps getting them. Why do people loan him their cars so easily? Is he actually stealing them? He has a gun with him which makes everyone nervous. He says that they can't exactly pretend to rob a store with a popsicle and it's all for show. It's a real gun though.
Jack says the gun is the starter pistol his dad uses at the race track and it's full of blanks. I guess that makes everyone feel better. They all put on ski masks and burst into the store screaming that it's a robbery. Harlow looks really scared and Poppy begins to freak out. She was there when Jack talked to him about the prank and she knows Harlow agreed but she hadn't expected him to be such a good actor and it throws her off. Harlow tells them to think about what they're doing and warns them that they're about to ruin their lives. Jack angrily demands the money. When Harlow goes for the drawer, Jack screams at Poppy that Harlow is going for the gun and orders her to shoot him. Poppy does and Harlow grabs his head and crashes to the floor.
Jack celebrates and tells Manny to end the live stream. He hugs Poppy and then goes over to tell Harlow that they're done and he can get up now. To his horror, there's blood pouring out all over the floor and he realizes that Poppy REALLY shot him. The gun wasn't loaded with blanks after all. He tells everyone to run.
We're now in Part Two. This book is too fucking long.
Jack stays behind and the others all leave together. Poppy is freaking out because Jack called her by name twice during the live stream and she knows that everyone heard it. She asks Manny to take her home. Manny says that they need to go talk to his brother. They can explain that Poppy was told the gun wasn't loaded and that it wasn't her fault. But Poppy just wants to go home and panic in solitude. The others try to convince her to stay with them but she insists.
You know, Poppy is an idiot. The fact that Jack stayed behind should have clued her in that it wasn't real. Clearly the blood was fake and Harlow is fine. She's just real damn dumb.
Poppy pretty much spins at her house. She's imagining all kinds of scenarios where Jack is arrested or shot by the police. She goes from worried about him to furious with him because he isn't calling to check on her and he must know that she's upset. There are no thoughts about the man she thinks she killed or about his family. It's all Poppy all the time.
Poppy's mom comes home from the lab where she works and Poppy decides to pour out the entire story to her while they're in the kitchen together. She tells her mother everything from start to finish but....
LOLZ
She really doesn't. It turns out her mother has left the room so Poppy is basically talking to herself. I don't know why Stine expects us to believe that Poppy wouldn't have noticed she's alone in the room but whatevs. Poppy decides she doesn't have the strength to go through it all again so she doesn't.
Sigh.😩
Manny calls and tells Poppy that the shooting is all over the internet and he thinks they should turn themselves in as a show of good faith before they can be arrested. He encourages Poppy to go to the station where Benny works because he thinks they'll get better treatment there. Poppy wants to bring her mom but Manny tells her to come alone which should also make her very suspicious but Poppy is a dumb as a rock.
That was an insult to rocks. I apologize.
When Poppy gets to the police station, she's surprised to find that none of her friends are there. She was under the impression that they were turning themselves in together. She goes inside to wait and finds Benny at the front desk. He's clearly expecting her and ushers her back to his cubicle so she can give him her statement. Poppy tells him everything and waits to be thrown in the slammer but Benny doesn't seem fazed. He tells Poppy that if a murder was being broadcast on the internet, the department would have been called about it but there have been no calls at all that night. He tells her that they should go check out the crime scene and she reluctantly agrees.
When they get back to the store, Poppy is surprised to see Harlow standing behind the counter. He smiles at her and tells her that he's back and then all of her friends appear, laughing and cheering. Poppy is just standing there, stunned when Harlow comes over to hug her. He whispers in her ear that her friends are truly awful and then releases her. She demands to know why they did this to her and Ivy says that it was all Jack's idea. Jack is the only one not there but Manny has him on Skype and he hands the phone to Poppy.
Jack is on the screen with Rose. They're all wrapped around each other and Poppy realizes that they're together. Rose says the prank was revenge for ruining her play. Poppy loses her mind and starts screaming that she hates them all and that they picked the wrong girl to fuck with.
Part Two was short. We're now in Part Three.
A week passes. Poppy still isn't speaking to any of her friends. She wants to come up with some kind of epic revenge but she can't think of anything good enough to pay them back for what they did to her. She's also suddenly gotten a job as a Taxi dispatcher which is odd. I don't know what Stine is doing anymore. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know either.
Keith calls her on her first night of work to see how she is. Ivy and Jeremy have filled him in on the prank and he tells Poppy that they seem genuinely remorseful. She isn't ready to forgive them, however. He tells her that he would have never let them pull that prank on her and says that he misses her. She isn't interested in getting back with him so she blows him off and hangs up. The night passes slowly as Poppy answers the occasional call for a Taxi and reads Pride and Prejudice for English class.
She got lucky. We never got to read that.
After work, she walks through the parking garage alone. A figure steps out and she's surprised to see that it's Lucas. He's clearly been drinking and he gives Poppy an alarming smile and tells her that he likes her. She gets spooked and starts to run toward her car. He chases her, saying over and over that he likes her because Stine can't be assed to write any other dialogue. As she gets to her car, she drops the keys and he picks them up. He pins her against the car and takes the scarf from her neck but then he just gives her the keys and it's over.
What the fuck was that?
I suspect it was Stine's lazy and sloppy attempt at making us suspect Lucas. We all know it's Keith, Stine. After all, he's the "crazy" one.
Sigh.😩
Poppy gets in her car but Lucas stands behind it. She yells at him to move but he asks her out instead. She says 'no' and then just starts backing the car up. Lucas ends up having to jump on the trunk to avoid getting run over. Poppy jams on the gas and takes off, sending Lucas tumbling to the ground. She's pretty freaked out by this and justifiably so. That is no way to ask a girl out, Lucas.
We leave Poppy for an Ivy chapter now. I don't know if I'm relieved or annoyed. I really don't care what any of these people have to say at this point.
Ivy and Jeremy are at her house making out. She stops kissing him and announces that Keith came by earlier that evening. Jeremy is surprised because they haven't seen much of Keith since he broke up with Poppy. This feels like a weird insert and it comes and goes so fast, I think Stine wants us to forget it.
We can't forget it when you write it so fucking oddly that we can't help but notice.
Sigh.😩
I've sighed so much in this recap that I think I'm damaging my lungs.
Ivy goes back to making out with Jeremy but she's thinking about Poppy and how she'll be coming over soon. I don't know how we got from Poppy ignoring Ivy's calls to Poppy coming over to Ivy's house and Stine doesn't bother to explain it. It just is, I guess. Ivy tells us that she feels really bad for going along with Jack's prank. She isn't sure why she did it but she's adamant that she didn't know Rose was involved at all.
Like that makes it better.
Eventually Ivy climbs off Jeremy's lap and tells him that he has to leave because Poppy is coming over. Jeremy asks if he can stay and apologize to Poppy himself but Ivy insists that she wants to talk to her friend alone. Jeremy leaves and Poppy arrives a few minutes later. She looks angry and asks Ivy if she can use the bathroom because she's coming straight from work. Ivy waits for Poppy in her room and it takes a long time. When Poppy finally reappears, she tells Ivy that she's leaving.
That's not suspicious at all.
Ivy tells Poppy that she wants to apologize but it doesn't go over well. Poppy clearly doesn't believe Ivy is sorry. Ivy tries to put the blame on Jack but Poppy isn't having it. She says that Ivy has a brain and she made her choices. Ivy says they can forget about it and start over but Poppy says she can never forget the betrayal. Ivy protests that it was a prank and Poppy wasn't betrayed on purpose but Poppy leaves the house in a huff.
For some reason, Ivy decides to take a shower and wash her hair. I don't know why. Stine doesn't even try to make it make sense. After putting the shampoo on her hair, her scalp starts to burn and her hair starts falling out in clumps.
Now we get a Jeremy chapter. Have we had one of those? It's taken me MONTHS to get this far in the book and I can't remember if we've been in Jeremy's head before. Anyway, he tells us that is asthma is bothering him and he's using his inhaler when Ivy calls him. She tells him she's in the hospital because Poppy tried to kill her. She's completely bald and she has burns all over her scalp and hands. Jeremy thinks she's pranking him but she tells him that the police tested her shampoo and found acid.
I call #bullshit.
There's no way they got results that fast.
Ivy asks Jeremy to come to the hospital but he tells her that his asthma is bad and his inhaler is almost empty. He can't risk leaving the house and potentially running into something he's allergic to. She says she understands but I don't think she does.
So clearly, three people were at Ivy's house before the acid got into the shampoo. We're obviously supposed to suspect Poppy because that's the point of the book.
Odds that Poppy put the acid in the shampoo: 8%
Odds that Keith put the acid in the shampoo: 90%
Odds that Jeremy put the acid in the shampoo: 2%
Jeremy is upset after the phone call and fights to get his breathing under control. Eventually he manages to go to sleep. He's awakened sometime later by something brushing over his face. To his horror, his room is full of hornets. The swarm him and begin stinging him over and over. At first, Jeremy is concerned with the pain but he rapidly realizes that he can't breathe. The chapter ends without us knowing what happened to him.
We're back with Poppy who is my least favorite person in this book. And considering I hate everyone in this book, that's saying a lot. Officer Benny and an unnamed partner arrive at her house to question her. Both Jeremy and Ivy are still in the hospital and Benny was there when Poppy swore revenge against them. She says she's given up on the idea of getting even but Benny clearly doesn't believe her. Heather helpfully tells the police that Poppy sometimes uses a cleaning solution that contains acid to clean their grandmother's jewelry.
Damn. How dirty does her grandmother's jewelry get?
Benny asks to see the cleaning solution but when they get to the basement, the bottle is gone.
Why is Poppy cleaning jewelry with acid in a basement? This is all weird, Stine. You could have come up with something that sounded at least a little plausible.
DO BETTER!
The other officer gets a call and is told that Jeremy died in the hospital. After they leave, Poppy's mom confronts her and asks if the hornets came from her lab. I never told you that Poppy's mom studies hornets for a living because I never expected it to be important. Oops. My bad.
Now we have a Keith chapter. He and Manny are visiting Ivy in the hospital and he tells us that he's having trouble controlling his thoughts because he lives on Fear Street and that means that darkness is all around him.
Sigh.😩
He thinks about death a lot and about having something frightening inside of him. It wasn't that long ago that he was in the hospital himself because he drank too much cough medicine. He tells us that he went a little “crazy” for awhile but then decided that he didn't want to do that ever again so he became the most boring teen on earth.
I honestly can't believe Stine is resorting to this. It's disgusting.
Ivy is upset because she's heard about Jeremy's death so the nurse comes in to sedate her. Manny and Keith leave the hospital. Manny is headed to school but Keith decides to skip.
Now we're back with Poppy.
Is this book over yet?
Poppy's mom accuses her over and over again but Poppy continues to deny that she put the acid in the shampoo or the hornets in Jeremy's room. Poppy's mom switches tactics at that point and says that they should take precautions because if Poppy didn't do it, she might be the next victim. The entire exchange is very odd and I'd add Poppy's mom to the suspect list just based on this fuckery alone if I thought it made any sense.
Not that any of this makes sense.
Poppy remembers that Keith went to her mom's lab with her once and she begins to think that he might be the one hurting people. She tries to call him but doesn't get an answer so she decides to drive over to his house. When she gets outside, she sees Lucas sitting in a parked car across the street from her house. She calls the police to report a stalker and then speeds off toward Keith's house.
Keith's mom tells Poppy that he's asleep when she gets there but Poppy insists on seeing him. His mom goes to wake him up but finds his room empty. She has no idea where he's gone. Poppy explains about Ivy and Jeremy and then actually has the balls to tell Keith's mother that she suspects him. Keith's mom is upset by this and admits that Keith has “episodes” but he's been taking his meds and he's been fine.
Stine.
I fucking hate you.
Poppy goes home and finds her pet bunny murdered in her bed. I think Stine mentioned this bunny in passing once in the first chapter. There was no reason to kill an innocent animal. It's lazy. He could have upped the tension in a million other ways if he just gave half a fuck. I'm disappointed in you, Stine.
After finding the bunny, Poppy finds a note in her dresser drawer that says “The Shadyside Shade Strikes Again”. Dumb. Why would they leave the note in the dresser? What if it had been a drawer she never opened?
We are now in Part Four.
Why isn't this fucking book over???????????
Poppy doesn't want to go to school the next morning but her mother insists. When she gets there, the principal pulls her into the office. She asks Poppy a bunch of questions and Poppy thinks she's trying to get a confession. It turns out that the principal is actually concerned about Poppy's safety since a lot of the students think she's a killer. She's worried some of the students might try to enact vigilante justice on Poppy's ass. Poppy goes off to class feeling like everyone is staring at her and taking about her.
She would have loved that earlier in the book.
Poppy runs into Keith and asks him where he was the night before. Keith is irritated and almost hostile toward her. He tells her that he stayed over at Lucas' house and that he'd left a note for him mom which she apparently didn't read. When Poppy expresses disbelief over his story, Keith gets mad and walks off.
The next day, everyone heads into the auditorium after lunch for a special showing of the play that I'd already forgotten about. Just before curtain, Poppy sees Jack rush from behind stage and out the door. She figures he was there to wish Rose good luck. The play doesn't start on time and there's a general announcement that they are trying to locate Rose. Finally the curtain starts to rise but there's a tangle in the ropes preventing it from going up all the way.
The tangle is Rose. She's dead, wrapped up in the ropes from the stage curtain. General mayhem ensues. Through it all, Poppy recognizes the scarf around Rose's neck. It's hers.
No one is allowed to leave the school. Police come and question Poppy. They ask how her scarf ended up around Rose's neck. You know, because Poppy owns the ONLY scarf in the ENTIRE SCHOOL.
Sigh.😩
She tells them that Lucas took her scarf the day he attacked her in the parking garage. Since Lucas doesn't go to the school and wouldn't really have access to Rose, Poppy tells them that Keith and Lucas are close. She explains that Keith didn't take their breakup well and that she suspects he might be crazy. The police agree to look into it. They dismiss her to her homeroom and tell her to wait there.
After awhile, Poppy gets summoned back into the room the police are using. Jack, Ivy, Manny, Keith and Heather are in there. Heather seems like the odd one out. What's she doing there?
The police start to question them and Poppy tells them that she saw Jack running from backstage right before the play started. He says that he went to tell Rose to break a leg but couldn't find her and he just left. Ivy starts screaming that Poppy is obviously the murderer and Poppy starts crying. She tells the police officers that she's ready to confess.
Suddenly Heather stands and says that Poppy is only confessing to protect her. She asks Poppy when she knew that Heather was the killer and Poppy acts like she's confused for a second. Then she says that Heather had access to the acid, the hornets and the scarf so it had to be her. Heather says she did it because she hates Poppy and then she pulls a knife out and stabs Poppy deep in the chest.
We've seen this before.
Sigh.😩
Poppy goes down to the floor and then Keith starts yelling that he's the murderer.
This is ridiculous.
Poppy gets up. The knife was a prop knife. She and Heather came up with this farce to get the real killer to confess. This is so very stupid.
Keith is the killer because of course he is.
He did it because he's “crazy” because of course he did.
I fucking hate you, Stine.
Lazy.
Very lazy.
It's truly disgusting how you portray people with mental illness. It's truly disgusting how you just make the killer "crazy" so you don't have to come up with a real motive or explanation for their actions.
The book you promised us in the blurb is not the book we got.
It never is, though.
Ivy apologizes to Poppy and the book ends.
Fucking finally.
I regret all my life choices.
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