Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/annoying plot device is.
Tag Line: And there's no way out!From the Back of the Book: The Doomed Class. The class that won't survive senior year.... That's the furthest thing from Kenny Klein's mind. He's too busy with his camp counselor job. And way too interested in Melly, the hot new girl he just met. Kenny only has two problems. The strange boy in his group - the one that always wears a mask - and the fact that someone at the camp is trying to kill him.
I've read two of these now and this class doesn't seemed doomed to anything except idiocy.
This book was published in 1998 and I'm sure I read it once about 10 years ago but I don't remember anything about it. (((Note from future me: If I had remembered it, I never would have volunteered to reread this series.)))
Since I had a couple of weeks before
the next Canby was due, I decided to do Episode 2 of the Seniors
series that I started back in February.
The beginning of each book gives us a
“yearbook” with all the characters. I'll summarize.
Trisha – lists her likes as
shopping and her dislikes as “rich girl jokes”
Clark – lists his likes as
Debra and his dislikes as garlic
Jennifer – lists her likes as
basketball and her dislikes as being a Fear in a Fear-hating town
Jade – lists her likes as
cheerleading and her dislikes as ghosts
Gary – lists his likes as art
class and his dislikes as cops
Kenny – lists his likes as
Jade and his dislikes as kids who torture camp counselors
Debra – lists her likes as
Clark's poems and her dislikes as possessive boyfriends
Stacy – lists her likes as
sports and her dislikes as pyscho killers
Josh – lists his likes as
Debra and his dislikes as funeral homes (uh oh, that's two for Debra)
Josie – lists her likes as
standard goth fare and her dislikes as being compared to stepbrother
Josh
Mickey – lists his likes as
partying and his dislikes as studying
Marla – lists her likes as
writing and her dislikes as goth girls
Mary – lists her likes as
running and her dislikes as rich girls
Dana – lists her likes as boys
and her dislikes as “private cheerleading performances”
Deidre – lists her likes as
mysterious guys and her dislikes as “being a good girl”
(Dana's twin BTW)
Will – lists his likes as
clubbing and his dislikes as the clinic
Ty – lists his likes as
cheerleaders and his dislikes as Valentine's Day
Clarissa – lists her likes as
art and her dislikes as Mira
Matty – lists his likes as
computers and his dislikes as “people who can't take a joke”
Phoebe – lists her likes as
cheerleading and her dislikes as liars
In the last episode, we joined the
class just as school got out for the summer after their junior year.
Trisha informed everyone that she had a vision of the entire senior
class being doomed. She also had a party. Josh was dating Debra but she
cheated on him with suspected-vampire Clark. Josie tried to curse
her trig teacher and rival Marla with a doom spell she found in an
old book in the Fear library. The trig teacher died an actual death
as opposed to all the fake deaths in the book. Trisha set up a fake
murder during her fake murder mystery game during her actual party.
Oh, and she was also responsible for all that Clark/Dracula jazz.
The “doom demon” came to the party and killed everyone
but....LOLZ....Josie reversed the spell and none of it actually
happened.
We begin the book in Kenny's
head. (((Note from future me: we stay in Kenny's head throughout the entire book and I almost died from the shock of it. LOLZ))) He and Jade are saying goodbye to each other. Jade is headed
off to California to take a month-long SAT prep course and she's
pretty irritated about it. She doesn't want to spend her summer
studying even if it is in California. Kenny thinks she should be
grateful to be going. He starts his summer job as a day camp
counselor in charge of a group of 9-year-old boys the next day and
he's not looking forward to it at all.
Before she leaves, Jade makes Kenny
promise that he won't fall for any other girls while she's gone. She
wants them to be together for their senior year. It didn't work out
so good for Josh last book, Jade. Just sayin'.
Odds that Kenny will remain loyal to
Jade: 25%
Dana and Debra are also working at the
camp and they greet Kenny the next morning when he gets there. He's
in a grumpy mood because Jade is gone and he doesn't really want to
chitchat. His boss (Craig) comes over and reminds Kenny to be
careful with the “troubled” camper. Kenny has no idea what Craig
is talking about. He was mailed his camper profiles a few weeks ago
but he never read them. He plays it off like he knows what Craig
means and feels a little uneasy about how troubled this kid could be.
He doesn't even know which one it is but figures it will become
obvious.
Odds that Kenny identifies the wrong
kid as the troubled one: 75%
On the way to his assigned cabin, Kenny
comes across another employee who introduces himself as Ty.
He says he'll be joining Shadyside High in the fall – a transfer
from private school. He was in the “yearbook” so I knew he'd
show up at some point but I'm still rolling my eyes at having to keep
track of another character.
Ty is hanging up the tetherballs and he
challenges Kenny to a game. Kenny is having fun until he notices how
seriously Ty is taking the game. At one point, Kenny sends the ball
sailing straight into Ty's nose and bloodies it. It was an accident
but Ty believes it was on purpose and tells Kenny to watch his back.
Stine creating stupid drama for drama's sake. How unusual.
Kenny continues toward his cabin,
looking off toward the lake. A girl in a camp uniform is walking
along the shore. Kenny thinks she looks more like she's gliding than
walking and he blinks his eyes to clear his vision. When he opens
them, the girl has vanished! {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
She didn't really vanish, you silly
nuggets. It was just the end of the chapter and Stine needed someone
to gasp. The girl had merely bent down to pick some wildflowers.
She's beautiful and Kenny runs right over to introduce himself
because #fuckJade. The girl is crying when Kenny gets there but
explains that it's because of the flowers she just picked. She's
allergic to them but can't resist their beauty. Is this supposed to
be a parallel between Kenny being unavailable but unable to resist
the girl's beauty? I don't think Stine is that sophisticated to be
honest.
The girl's name is Melly and SHE IS NOT IN THE FUCKING YEARBOOK. I refuse to accept her existence, Stine. I REFUSE.
They talk a little and Kenny is
awkward. He compares it to having his first crush. I knew that
promise to Jade wouldn't last long. Melly is the arts and crafts
counselor and she warns him to watch out for Ty. When Kenny asks her
if she knows Ty (duh, Kenny, how else would she be warning you about
him), Melly gets a little far away looking. She says she knew Ty
from before she drowned. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
Not really. She actually said she knew
him from town. They flirt a bit and he doesn't even seem that
conflicted about it. He reasons that Jade is halfway to California
by now and this girl is here. Nice guy, that Kenny.
Craig comes to fetch him to help Ty
with some equipment. Apparently Craig asked Ty to set up the
volleyball net and then changed his mind and asked him to take it
back down. Now Ty is having trouble getting it all back in the trunk
it came from. He isn't exactly happy to see Kenny but accepts his
help. They get everything in the trunk but the lid won't quite close
so Kenny recommends they count to three and then slam it shut.
As they're counting to three, Melly
walks by and waves, distracting Kenny. Somehow this culminates in
Kenny slamming the trunk lid down hard on Ty's hand. Ty is
legitimately injured yet again. He's understandably furious as Kenny
walks him to the infirmary. They can't do an x-ray there so an
ambulance is called to take him to the hospital. He accuses Kenny of
doing it on purpose but Craig tells Kenny not to worry about it. Ty
has a bit of temper and he loses it easily. Sounds like the perfect
person to work in a camp full of young kids. I know that's who I'd
pick to be in charge of mine.
Unfortunately, Ty is the swimming
instructor and if his hand is truly broken, he won't be able to work
that summer. He's very upset because he really needs the job and
that just makes him angrier at Kenny. I'm supposed to feel sorry for
Kenny here but I really don't. Both things were accidents but I can
see why Ty is angry and I really just don't like Kenny at all.
Melly rocks up as Kenny is leaving the
building. He tells her that he's really made an enemy of Ty and she
is shocked because the guy in there is definitely not Ty.
{{{GASP!!!}}}
We don't get a resolution to that one
because the campers arrive. Kenny's kids are: Graydon, Dan,
David, Matthew, Charlie, Simon and
Vincent. Graydon is a little aggressive right off the bat and
picks a fight with Charlie over who is the line leader. Vincent is
missing entirely and finally located hiding behind the bus. He wears
a ski mask full time because of some accident and Kenny assumes that
Vincent is his troubled one.
Odds that Vincent is actually the one
Craig warned him about: 20%
Before Vincent is brought over, Kenny
has a talk with his group and encourages them to treat Vincent like
he's not wearing a mask. Graydon whines about having a freak in
their group and another fight between him and Charlie almost breaks
out. Kenny tells them if they don't cut it out they'll lose points.
There are no actual points but he was making it up on the spot.
Vincent joins them and Kenny can't help
being a little freaked out about the mask. It makes Vincent look
really weird and he wonders what it's hiding. He takes the kids on a
tour of the camp and is unsettled by the way Vincent watches him the
entire time. They come across a cave and Vincent darts inside it
before Kenny can stop him. The chapter ends as Vincent screams that
he's being attacked by bats. {{{GASP!!!}}}
Time skips on us and we're at the pizza
place with Kenny, Josh, Mickey, Dana and Debra. Kenny tells us that
Josh seems awkward around Debra now that she's dating Clark. Kenny
is telling them about the cave incident. When he went in to check, there were no bats. He and Craig assumed Vincent was making it up
for attention.
Dana has some gossip of her own. Mary
was caught shoplifting in the mall. They discuss this for awhile and
then everyone decides to go swimming at Fear Lake. Everyone except
Debra who has a date with Clark. Kenny feels really bad for Josh who
still loves Debra.
I have no idea why that Mary stuff was included. Maybe it's important in a future book?
I have no idea why that Mary stuff was included. Maybe it's important in a future book?
They've been at the lake for awhile
when Kenny notices Melly standing alone at the shore. He goes out to
greet her and the two of them just start making out. That
was fast. She asks him to come to a special place where they can be
alone. She leads him to a boulder that juts out over the lake and
dares him to dive in. He says he'll jump feet first but only if she
jumps with him. She reluctantly agrees.
Standing on the boulder, Kenny sees his
friends down below and waves to them. Then he jumps off. He hits
his head on something either as he's going into the water or after
he's gone under. The pain is excruciating and he's disoriented.
He's about to get into some real trouble but Josh pulls him up. His
head is bleeding and he's a little woozy. He asks where Melly
is and they all tell him that he was alone up on the rock. They're
setting it up like Melly isn't real but over pizza both Dana and
Debra said they met her that day. So which is it? Or......did Kenny
possibly not meet the same Melly that Dana and Debra met? Hmmmmm.
Intrigue.
Odds that Kenny's Melly actually
exists: 50%
Kenny goes crazy thinking Melly drowned
but the others are convinced he just has a concussion.
WALK IT OFF!!!!
Been awhile since I got to do that one.
The next day he gets to the camp early
to see if he can find her. He runs into Ty instead and Ty says that
he saw Melly earlier. Kenny relaxes. Ty isn't very happy with
Kenny. His hand is broken and now he's been assigned to do general
chores since he can't teach swimming. Kenny remembers Melly saying
that this guy wasn't really Ty so he accuses Ty of being an imposter.
Ty shows him his driver's license which proves he's exactly who he
says he is.
The campers arrive and the day begins.
Kenny's group is supposed to have arts and crafts but Melly isn't in the building so he decides to go look for her. Vincent grabs his
arm and begs him to stay but Kenny shakes him off. He's weirded out
by Vincent and can't wait to get away from him. He looks around for
awhile but doesn't find Melly. Suddenly he hears a scream from the
arts and crafts room and goes running back to find Vincent on the
floor covered in blood. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
It's just paint. No one will fess up
to doing it so Kenny assumes Vincent did it to himself to get
attention again. He's furious and drags Vincent up off the floor,
shaking him. The other boys are alarmed and Kenny seems to realize
he's being inappropriate so he releases Vincent and tells him to go
to the cabin and get cleaned up.
Melly walks in after Vincent has gone.
He asks her about the evening before and she says she ran off to get
help after he smacked his head going into the water. He accepts this
and asks her to meet him on one of the nature trails later. She
agrees.
When the day is finally done, Kenny is
excited for his “date”. He thinks briefly of Jade and how he's
cheating on her and thinks to himself that he should really tell her
that he wants to see Melly as well. He considers telling Melly he
has a girlfriend but he's afraid she won't want to date him anymore.
Dana confronts him before she goes home for the night. She says if
he doesn't tell Jade he's screwing around on her, she will.
He meets Melly and they make out for
awhile and then go for a walk. He tells her about seeing Ty's
driver's license but she continues to insist that the guy isn't Ty. I
guess Kenny hasn't even considered that there might actually be two
people named Tyler around. They end up by the cave where Vincent
claimed bats attacked him. Melly says there are no bats but the cave
is haunted. One summer a little boy went in there and died. They
buried his body nearby but his soul remains trapped in the cabin.
Melly asks him if he wants to meet the
ghost and then she takes off into the cabin. He follows her but it's
dark and he can't see where he's going. He calls out for her
repeatedly but she never answers him. Suddenly he's falling through
the air to his jagged death below. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
He did fall but it wasn't to his death.
He's perfectly fine. Melly appears up above with a lighter and he's
pissed. He asks her why she didn't answer him and she says she was
playing hide and go seek. He demands to know why she didn't tell him
the cave had a cliff in it and she smiles and says he should have
known the cave was dangerous. She's a nice girl, this Melly. I can
see why he's hot for her.
Melly helps him out of the hole and the
two of them make out some more. Melly wants to get a little frisky
in the cave but Kenny vastly prefers the woods for all his
friskiness. He tells her that he wants to leave but she resists.
Suddenly he hears noises – breathing and footsteps. He fumbles to
light Melly's lighter and suddenly a ghostly face appears.
{{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
It's just Graydon. He missed the bus
home and followed the two of them through the woods and into the cave.
Kenny is pissed. He tells Melly that he needs to walk Graydon back
to the office to call his mom. She gropes him one last time and
leaves. He and Graydon walk back together, Melly is nowhere in sight.
Graydon makes some comments about Vincent and then runs ahead. By
the time Kenny reaches the office, Graydon has been picked up by his
mom.
On his way out, Kenny bumps into Ty who
is still there. He's gathering up painting supplies because he's
supposed to paint some of the cabins white. He tells Kenny to be
careful around Melly because “she's nuts”. He shows Kenny
two bleeding scratches on his arm and claims that Melly gave them to
him.
We jump ahead to the overnight at the
camp. Kenny is telling his campers some ghost stories around the
fire. As you do. He finishes his story and starts to roast some
marshmallows all the while thinking about how creepy Vincent is.
He's really scared of this boy who hasn't really done anything scary
yet. Vincent excuses himself to go to the bathroom and Kenny decides
to get up and walk around a little despite the fact he's not allowed
to leave his group.
He's deep in thought wondering if Dana
will really tell Jade about Melly when he runs into the weirdo in
question. Melly grabs his arm and digs her nails in a little. This
reminds him of Ty's claim that Melly scratched him and he asks her
about it. She says that she only scratched Ty because he was acting
like a maniac and wouldn't let go of her arm. This conversation
feels odd to me since she previously claimed that Ty wasn't Ty. So
why is she calling him Ty now? Gotta call bullshit on you, Stine.
KEEP TRACK OF YOUR STORY!!!!
When Kenny gets back to the campfire,
he's horrified to find a snake among the branches they gathered for making s'mores.
He identifies it as poisonous because of his rigorous boy scout
training and tells all the boys not to move. His plan is to grab it
behind the head but when he moves, the snake strikes his head,
sinking his fangs into Kenny's skin. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
It doesn't really bite him. He manages
to catch the snake and he takes it to the rec hall and puts it in a
cage for Craig to dispose of later. This seems really unsafe to me.
If it's not the right kind of cage, the snake will just escape.
He returns to the fire and they all try
to decide what to do next. Vincent pulls out a pack of cards and
announces that they're “Doom Teller” cards which can predict the
future. He tells Kenny to draw three cards and put them down in
front of him. Kenny does. When Vincent flips them over, Kenny has
chosen three black skulls. Vincent looks alarmed and tells Kenny
that it means “instant death”. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
Naturally Kenny doesn't instantly die.
He does think it's a remarkable coincidence that he's beaten death
three times recently (jumping from the boulder, falling off the cave
cliff, the snake). They put out the fire and prepare to bunk down
for the night. Kenny is supposed to be meeting Melly after the kids
are asleep but they just get into bed when another counselor tells
Kenny he has an urgent phone call in Craig's office.
It turns out to be Jade and there's no
real emergency. She just misses Kenny a lot. As he talks to her, he
remembers how much he cares for her and decides to tell Melly that he
has a girlfriend. It's a little late for that but whatever. When he
meets up with Melly he tells her it's over because he's finally
decided to be faithful to his girlfriend. Melly does not accept his
break up attempt and tells him she has ways of changing his mind.
She walks off without revealing what those ways are.
Kenny goes back to his cabin and gets
into bed. As he's drifting off to sleep, he realizes the snake is in
bed with him. He manages to leap out of the bed without getting
bitten. He grabs the snake and flings it into the wall. It slides
to the floor, stunned. Kenny hears one of the boys giggle but it's
too dark to see who. He turns on the light and realizes it's the
same kind of snake that was by the fire earlier. He grabs it and
carries it to the rec hall where he discovers the previous cage
empty. Someone got that snake out and put it in Kenny's bed.
When he gets back to the cabin, the
three black skull cards are on his pillow.
Which.
Bullshit, Stine.
If the cards had been on his pillow
before, he would have felt them when he laid down. They definitely
would have slid off. If the cards had been placed there after, every
fucking boy in that cabin would have seen who did it.
The next morning after breakfast, Kenny
pulls Vincent aside and pretty much accuses him. Vincent tells him
he should be more careful and Kenny is afraid all over again. I'd
like to think that Graydon or Charlie is the disturbed camper that
Craig warned Kenny about but I'm dreadfully afraid that it's going to
end up being effing Justin....I mean Vincent. Stine always lets me
down.
Except for the piranhas. That was
cool.
Kenny dumps his campers at archery and
then heads down to the lake for 10 minutes of “me time”. While
he's there, Melly rocks up. He tells her about the snake in his bed
and she seems suitably shocked. She tries to kiss him and he reminds
her that he just wants to be friends now because he has a girlfriend.
She laughs and tries to kiss him again and he shoves her off and
tells her to get lost. Melly starts screaming that he has to love
her or she'll die and scratching at her own face. She draws blood
and then grabs Kenny's shirt, streaking her blood all over it. He
manages to get away from her and he runs back to his group.
We hop to the end of the day. Kenny
gets his kids on the buses and then heads to grab his stuff. He
can't wait to get home. When he gets to his car he notices the words
“you're dead” painted on the hood in white paint. He immediately
knows it's Ty's doing.
Odds that Ty painted on Kenny's car:
13%
Kenny storms off to confront Ty who is
super confused. He tells Kenny he's been so busy painting cabins
with one fucking arm that he hasn't had time to mess with anything.
Not only that but he doesn't even know which car Kenny drives. Kenny
refuses to accept Ty's innocence.
Now it's Saturday. Kenny has been
trying to call Jade for two days but she's not picking up the phone.
Because he has a fickle attention span, he starts to wonder if maybe
he was a little too harsh on Melly. He decides to give her a call.
Luckily he copied her phone number and address from the list in
Craig's office earlier in the week. He calls the number but it's no
longer in service so he heads out to go to her address.
An older woman answers the door. When
he asks for Melly, she gets hysterical and starts shouting that he
needs to leave or she's going to call the police. Kenny is shocked
but he gets the hell out of there.
Now it's Monday and we're back at camp.
Kenny leaves his group at archery again and heads off to find Melly.
He checks the arts and crafts room but she's not there so he heads
down toward the lake which is his usual spot to find her. He think
he sees her in the distance and waves but suddenly pain explodes in
his shoulder. He falls to the ground, telling us that he's dying and
then everything goes black. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
He wakes up in the infirmary, not even
a little bit dead. He took an arrow to the shoulder apparently and
passed out from the pain. The camp doctor removed the arrow with no
issues and everything's fine. Kenny asks who shot him and Craig says
no one knows. They leave him in there to rest. When he sits up, he
finds three black skull cards lying on the foot of the bed.
Bullshit.
None of the other people in the room
noticed those? There was a doctor, a nurse and Craig. PLUS KENNY
WAS SUPERVISED BY MEDICAL STAFF THE ENTIRE TIME HE WAS IN THERE UNTIL
HE WOKE UP. How did anyone get those fucking cards in there? This
isn't cool, Stine. You're being so ridiculous now.
Kenny goes back to the group to
confront Vincent. Not only does Vincent deny shooting him but he
says he doesn't even have the Doom Teller cards anymore. Someone
stole them at the campfire during the camp out.
Kenny is in a lot of pain so he decides
to go home after lunch. But he doesn't really go home. He drives to
Melly's house again instead. He knocks on the door and the same woman
answers. He begs her not to freak out or call the cops. He just
wants to see Melly. The woman tells him that Melly died at the camp
when she was 8 years old. She drowned.
Okay.
I give up on this.
If she's a ghost, how did she get a
job? She has an official job because Craig had her contact
information in his office. Plus multiple people have seen her and
interacted with her. So the person who is calling herself Melly
can't possibly be a ghost. Maybe she was the real Melly's camp
counselor and she feels horribly guilty about Melly's death? That
would be a good twist.
Odds I'm going to get that twist from
Stine: 0.2%
When Kenny gets home, Ty is standing in
his driveway with a baseball bat. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
That wasn't even a cliffhanger but it
felt like one.
Ty says the bat was laying in the
driveway and he picked it up so Kenny wouldn't run over it. He
wants to talk and to declare a truce. They discuss things and decide
to be friends. Ty warns him to be careful on the canoe trip since he
has “the disturbed one” in his group. Again, no name mentioned.
Kenny assumes he's talking about Vincent and says he'll keep an eye
on him. Then talk turns to Melly and Kenny tells him about the woman
saying Melly was dead. Ty knows this isn't true because he's
interacted with Melly several times. His conclusion is that the
woman is “crazy” too. Kenny decides that must be the case.
Everyone is “crazy”.
The campers are having another
overnight before the canoe trip. Kenny's shoulder is still sore and
he's hoping it won't affect his rowing too much. Um...I'm pretty
sure it will, cupcake. They're all around the campfire when Vincent
produces more Doom Teller cards. He says that his grandfather gave
him another deck. He talks Kenny into pulling three more cards and
they all turn out to be black skulls again. Kenny is freaked the
fuck out until Graydon grabs the deck and reveals that every card is
a black skull. Vincent throws back his head and laughs creepily.
The next day they get down to the docks
to go on the trip. Stine tells us that they're going to divide up
the boys into three canoes. Ty groups them up into two groups of 3
and one group of 2 and then tells Kenny to get in with the group of 2
to save his shoulder some. Um. Kenny only has 7 campers. I went
back to check. So where is this 8th camper coming from?
KEEP TRACK OF YOUR STORY!! No worries, though, because this 8th
mythical camper ceases to exist entirely a second later. Suddenly we
have one group of 3 and two groups of 2 instead.
The boys admire the speedboats as they
are put into their canoes. Vincent, David and Dan get into the first
one and take off. I guess they know where they're going and are okay
to just canoe away without supervision?? Kenny gets into the second
boat with Matthew and Simon leaving Charlie and Graydon on the dock
with Ty. Charlie and Graydon have been my favorite suspects for the
troubled camper all along because they've had the most 'air time' of
any of the boys except Vincent who is effing Justin in this bitch.
As they're going down the lake, a
speedboat comes out of nowhere and aims right for them. The person
behind the wheel is wearing a ski mask just like Vincent's but Kenny
is confused because Vincent was in the boat that left before them.
THERE IS MORE THAN ONE FUCKING SKI MASK
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, KENNY!!
Ugh. This book, man.
The speedboat is going to collide with
their canoe so Kenny orders the boys to jump overboard. It's too
late. The speedboat crashes into the boat and everyone dies.
{{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
Everyone's fine. The boat gets dented
up but the boys swim to shore. Kenny is just starting to relax when
the boat comes back around and speeds for him again. His plan is to
dive far enough under the water that the blades of the boat can't
reach him. Which might work if he can stay down long enough but
definitely won't work because he's wearing a life jacket and can't
dive. Devil's always in the details. He manages to get the life
jacket off but has no time to dive so he throws it at “Vincent”
instead. It causes the boy to swerve and the boat misses Kenny.
“Vincent” tries to turn the boat back around for a third pass and
stalls it out. Kenny is able to get on board and wrestle him away
from the wheel. Even as they are tussling about, Kenny notices that
“Vincent” has suddenly put on a great deal of weight. Because
that's far more probable than “Vincent” not being Vincent.
The struggle ends when Kenny gets the
mask off to find Graydon.
Odds that you were surprised by this
“twist”: 5%
It turns out Charlie had started to get
violently ill after Kenny's canoe left the dock so Ty ran him up to
the office to call his mom leaving Graydon alone on the dock. He
confessed to all the crimes against Kenny and shows no remorse for it
at all. Craig is surprised that Kenny is surprised. After all,
Graydon's profile described how troubled he was. Kenny realizes he
has really been horrible to Vincent and he decides to go apologize to
him right away.
Kenny is passing the lake when he sees
something floating in it. He gets closer and realizes it's Melly's
body floating face down. He watches in horror as the current draws
her out into the water. {{{GASP!!!}}}
I have no idea if we get to LOL at this
one or not. Stine's carrying it on into the next chapter as Kenny
tries to figure out whether or not he can save her. Instead of
swimming out to her, he decides to run all the way back to the docks
to get a boat. A comedy of errors ensues as boat after boat has some
difficulty he can't overcome – no gas, no keys, stalls out, etc.
Finally he finds a boat that works and
manages to get out to Melly who has been floating facedown for a
whole lot of minutes by this point. He gets alongside her and begins
to drag her lifeless body out of the water. But she's not as
lifeless as he thought. She raises her head and looks at him. He's
so relieved that she's okay but she tells him she's dead.
Sigh.
She tells him she died when she was 8
and not only that but he actually knew her. They went to camp
together when he was 9 and they had a counselor named Tyler who was
just evil and mean. One day her canoe tipped on the lake. It hit
her head and she was knocked unconscious and drowned. Kenny says he
didn't know. No one ever told them that someone died that summer.
Melly says she's been waiting for him
“on the other side” all these years just waiting for him to come
back and finally he did. She says “I borrowed this girl's body
from the cemetery so you would like me”.
At this point I threw the book clear
across the room and quit the blog.
One minute later my manager returned to
the book to me and informed me I could not quit.
A fit of epic proportions followed.
So.....I guess Kenny's been making out
with a dead body from a grave all this time and he didn't notice the
smell or the rotting flesh?
Bullshit.
Also.....how did she bleed earlier when she scratched her face? Embalmed corpses wouldn't have blood remaining in their bodies and this has to be an embalmed corpse because it's in too good of shape to be anything else.
How does Stine get away with this crap?
How does Stine get away with this crap?
Melly tells him that he's going to be
joining her on the other side forever. {{{GASP!!!}}}
Melly proceeds to pull him into the
water and try to kill him. A fight scene underwater breaks out and I
can barely be bothered to care at this point. All appears to be
hopeless and then Ty shows up in a motorboat and saves the day.
Kenny tells him about Melly trying to kill him and then we have a
total Friday the 13th moment here because Stine is a
fucking thief.
Ty, naturally, says that Kenny was
alone in the lake.
Kenny keeps babbling about Melly dying
at 8 and coming back in a borrowed body and Ty is concerned. He
thinks that Kenny is in shock and he decides he needs to go for help
but he isn't going to take Kenny with him. Because reasons. He
drops Kenny off on the shore and then drives away in the boat to get
help. It doesn't make any sense but it's a plot device so we're not allowed to protest. Sigh.
Kenny is lying on the shore when he
sees Vincent standing over him holding a knife. A voice that is not
Vincent's comes out of Vincent's mouth. It says “You're coming
with me” and goes on to tell him that it wanted to do it neatly
with a drowning but now it will have to do it messy with a knife.
Then it plunges the knife into Kenny's chest. {{{GASP!!!}}}
LOLZ
Not really. Kenny rolls to the side to
avoid the knife. They wrestle a bit and Kenny manages to rip
Vincent's mask off. It turns out that under the mask is a rotting,
moldy corpse. Melly explains that she took two bodies from the
cemetery – one pretty girl and one young boy. She can't be in one
body all the time so she had to switch back and forth. Kenny
realizes that he never saw Vincent and Melly in the same place at the
same time.
This is so hideously stupid, y'all.
The corpse presses rotting lips to
Kenny's. He's appalled. I don't know why. He's been making out
with a dead chick for an entire book. He picks up Melly/Vincent and
carries it to the edge of the lake where it left the speedboat
running. He hurls the body through the air and directly into the
boat's propeller. The body is decapitated and delimbed.
Kenny sits beside the lake. He hears
Melly's voice on the wind imploring him to never forget about her.
He promises he won't and the book mercifully ends.
I survived.
So did everyone else.
Well, except Melly/Vincent but since
they never really existed, they don't count.
When do I get this doom, Stine? I'm patiently waiting for these assholes to start dropping like flies.
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