Final Friends Book 3: The Graduation by Christopher Pike

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/overdone trope is.

Tag Line: The truth was neither black nor white...but a horrible shade of gray.

From the Back of the Book:  It was his last chance to find the answer.  The last day of school had finally arrived, six months after the homecoming dance and the ruin of a princess, and nine months after the big party and the death of an angel.  It is to be a busy day; there is a graduation ceremony in the afternoon in the football stadium, and then the senior all-night party aboard a cruise ship heading to Catalina.  But for Michael Olson, it is not a time to celebrate.  It is a day to finish an investigation that may cost him his life.  It is also a final chance to let the girl of his dreams, Jessica Hart, know his feelings for her.  But the last day will not last long enough.  For Michael or Jessica.  The cruise ship will never reach its destination.  The truth will turn out to be a lie.

This book was written in 1989 and I read it years and years ago. I only remember the vaguest things from it and one of them is what Bubba wrote in Sara's yearbook. I was totally scandalized by it as a teenager which is hilarious considering the books I read now. (Cow tongues and sounding, anyone?)

So here we are finally at book three. The recap for book one was posted December 2017 and book two was posted July 2018. Feel free to re-read them because I'm only going to give you a very basic review here.

In book one, we met a whole lot of people. There was a party. Alice was shot at the end of the party. Police ruled it a suicide but Michael suspected murder.

In book two, the enormous cast of characters went about their lives post-trauma. Sara lost the homecoming money and had to promise to have sex with Bubba sometime in the future in order to secure a loan to pay off the decorations/band/tent for the Homecoming dance. Polly started having conversations with imaginary people and talking about the “doctors with the electricity” a lot. Clair might have been pregnant and had an abortion but we're not entirely sure yet. Jessica accidentally took Valium instead of No-Doz before her SATs and bombed them completely. Michael goes on a quest to find Clark believing he might have been responsible for Alice's death. Oh, and he discovered a comet. Maria wins Homecoming Queen and is horribly injured when the float she's standing on collapses.

Our Cast:

Jessica – pretty and vain. She was hot for Bill in book one and most of book two but at the end of book two realized she was madly in love with Michael. Too bad she didn't tell him.

Alice – a sweet artist who was a year younger than the rest. She was shot at the end of book one in an apparent suicide.

Clair – the head cheerleader and resident bitch. She was dating Bill in book one but inexplicably threw him over in book two for Bubba.

Clark – an artist with a disturbing personality.  He had a physical relationship of some sort with Polly until he met Alice and preferred her.  No one is sure what kind of relationship they had, however.

Michael – cute, sweet and smart. He has a tragic love for Jessica but feels like it isn't returned. He was Alice's BFF and is determined to prove she was murdered.

Sara – sassy and a little sociopathic. She has a thing for Russ but treats him like crap.

Bill – quarterback. He was dating Clair in book one and dated Jessica in book two but doesn't seem too into either of them. Is anyone else suspecting he's gay? No? It's just me then.

Kats – resident greasy loser. Once fake held-up the convenience store where Michael and Nick work.

Maria – sweet and non-descript. Her parents are racist illegal aliens which isn't good since she's dating Nick who is black. She was paralyzed in a horrible accident after being named Homecoming Queen in book two.

Polly – Alice's older sister. She donates blood to atone for being rich. Frequently has headaches. We suspect she was having conversations with an imaginary version of Clark in book two.

Bubba – wannabe gangster who pretty much knows everything and runs the school. He likes Clair and sex but maybe not in that order. Often breaks into the school computer. Definitely hacked into the medical system to download Alice's autopsy for Michael. Probably fixed the HQ results to make Maria the winner.

Dale – valedictorian.  We don't really know anything about him other than the fact that he's good-looking and apparently a bit of a douche.

Cindy – big boobed. She likes Michael.  Seriously, that's all the personality she's given.

Nick – African American former gang member turned basketball star. He likes Maria.

The Rock – racist, homophobe do-gooder. Hated Nick because of a case of mistaken identity where he thought Nick was a drug dealer.

Russ – drunken track star who has moments of awesomeness buried in a pile of douchebaggery. Possible abusive home life. Sara got him fired after she locked him in the grocery store freezer and he had to use an ax to free himself.

We begin with Sara on the last day of school. It's her job to sort out the yearbooks (which are personalized so they have to given to specific people and not just handed out to anyone). She flips through them and laughs at the blurry athletic photos that Jessica took back when she refused to wear her glasses. There a a lot of photos of Michael playing basketball which Sara finds hilarious because he was kicked off the team before homecoming and only played in a couple of games. Still, he's in more of them than anyone else and his are the only ones in focus as if she put her glasses on to take them.

It's been five months since the events in book two (not six like the back of the book claims). We learn that Russ has been in a Juvenile Detention facility for chopping down the Varsity Tree in book one. He's been given a day pass to attend graduation. There's an all night party on a cruise ship afterwards (that Sara still hasn't paid for) but I don't know if he gets to go to that or not. Sara hasn't seen him in five months. She hasn't seen Michael and Clair either. Both had enough credits to leave school after Christmas. Clair has been modeling – she was on the cover of Seventeen – but Sara isn't sure what Michael has been up to.

Wait.  I just realized that according to this timeline, graduation is taking place on a Friday.  Who the hell has a graduation ceremony on a Friday afternoon when all the parents will be at work?  This is madness, Pike.  It's rare for you to fuck up this bad.

Michael shows up to get his yearbook and Sara takes a break to talk to him. She asks him if he's seen Jessica and he says he hasn't. Sara tells us that Jessica hasn't been the same since Homecoming. She sank into a deep depression and didn't even come to school for a long time. She's more subdued these days, not doing anything she used to enjoy. And she's wearing her glasses full-time because she no longer cares what she looks like. I feel like I'm going to like this Jessica better but we'll see. I'm not exactly hopeful.

Sara asks him if he's coming to the party cruise and he tells her that he didn't buy a ticket. She hands him a free one and tells him that things won't be the same if he doesn't come. She's hoping to get him alone with Jessica because she can tell how much Jessica has missed him. He thanks her for the ticket and walks away.

Sara is fretting over the cruise money. She still hasn't fully paid for Homecoming either. Bubba keeps stringing her along about the money. He's the one who talked her into the cruise, and she's worried the check will bounce. He eventually shows up to sign her yearbook and she asks him where the money is. He tells her that he bet it on the Lakers/Celtic game and leads her to believe that the money is on the Lakers. Then he takes her yearbook and disappears with it. When he comes back she realizes he's written in fat black marker on the inside cover where it can't be torn out.

“My Dearest Sara,

My heart patters at the thought of us making love tonight above the deep ocean swells, our bodies locked in passion, the salty sweat on the burning flesh of our entangled limbs mingling like oil and wine, ready to burst into flaming ecstasy. My head swoons. Tonight, Sara, I promise you, will be our night. The gods will envy our joy.”

It goes on to talk about how they need to get condoms and how he prefers natural, tight and blue. It's signed “Love you always, in so many different positions.”

Seriously, When I was 14 that was the raciest thing I'd ever read in my life. I was clutching my teenage pearls. It's pretty hilarious to read it now and realize how tame it actually was.

It's okay to laugh at me.  I pretty much laughed at myself.

We land in Michael's head now. He's walking with Clair and she's in a good mood. Bubba has been managing her career and he's doing a good job apparently. She had the Seventeen thing and she'll be shooting a commercial for Nabisco and a music video soon. Michael's been working part time as an intern at a jet propulsion lab. He's mostly running errands for engineers but they let him sit in on meetings and he's learning a lot.

Clair encourages Michael to find Jessica and tell her how he feels about her before it's really too late. Graduation is that afternoon and then they'll all be scattering off to different colleges or jobs. She takes off again to go talk to her cheerleading buddies and Michael wanders across Polly. He's been hoping to talk to her but when he sits down to do so, he finds that she's not making much sense. He asks her about Clark and she's really vague, saying she hasn't seen him in awhile and she doesn't know why Michael can't let all of this go. Alice is dead and doesn't care how she got that way. Before she leaves, she warns Michael not to go to the all-night party.

I'd take her up on that if I was him because I'm pretty sure Pretty Polly is a Justin in disguise.

For all we know, she killed her parents and her aunt too.

After Polly leaves, Bubba rocks up to hand Michael a mysterious item in a brown paper bag. He tells Michael to be careful because a lot of smart people have done stupid things with what's in the bag. Michael asks him where he got it and Bubba says he got it from Kats. Which pretty much guarantees it's a gun. Bubba also delivers Polly's house key that he somehow copied for Michael. Michael wants to get another view of the room where Alice died. They talk about graduation and how Michael ended up valedictorian (turns out Dale was busted by that narc from book two that had been hassling Nick).

Michael has a lot to do before the ceremony so he heads for the parking lot. Along the way he sees Jessica and despite the fact that she screamed at him to leave her alone during their last meeting on Homecoming, he can't help but notice how sexy she looks in her short skirt. He rationalizes his sexual desire as normal (which it is, and thank you Pike for letting your people be normal) and figures he's always going to wish they could have lived happily ever after but he also recognizes that it's not possible. He goes to his car, loads the gun and takes off.

We land in Jessica's head now. She's reflecting over her year and feeling like everything got away from her somehow. She isn't going to Stanford. Her grades and her SAT were way too low for anything but community college. She didn't get HQ and she didn't get the boy of her dreams. She's still sort of with Bill but there's no future in it and she knows that. Still, she's pretty determined to lose her pesky virginity on the party cruise and she decides it might as well be him. The cabins are to remain locked during the party but Sara managed to talk the captain into giving her keys to a couple of them in case anyone became “ill” and needed to rest. {{{wink, wink}}} She promises Jessica that she can turn in her V card in one of them. Sara plans to give hers to Russ in the other.  (She also has a cabin for Polly who has already lost her virginity I think and has no plans to rock the boat.)

Sara tells Jessica that she saw Michael earlier and Jessica tries to pretend she doesn't care. She still loves him but she still thinks that she is bad for him (not arguing with her there – my hatred for Jessica has spanned two books now). She's also on a bit of a self-destructive road these days. She's not responsible for Alice's death or Maria's accident but part of her feels like she should be punished anyway. Sleeping with Bill is just part of that. She doesn't love him and she doesn't think he loves her but she just wants to get losing her virginity over with and doesn't think she deserves to be with someone she actually loves.

Odds that Bill would rather devirginize Michael than Jessica: 60%. 

We're back with Michael. He's made an appointment to talk to the coroner in charge of Alice's autopsy. He got the appointment under false pretenses, telling the coroner that he was doing a piece on forensic science techniques for a local paper. Michael comes clean right away and tells the doctor he wants to talk about Alice's case. The doctor is intrigued and agrees. Michael asks if it's possible that Alice was dead before she was shot. Maybe from the blow that broke her nose and caused her brain bleed. The doctor agrees it's possible but tells him that it must have been delivered by someone incredibly strong.

Or she fell off that stupid ladder getting the cups down. Your call.

We're in Nick's head now. He's driving two hours away to pick up Maria at the Rehab Center. He hasn't seen her for months and it's still hard for him because he loves her. He tells us that her parents were exposed as illegal aliens after her accident and deported. Maria herself was spared for as long as she needs medical attention, but now that she's leaving rehab, she might be deported as well.

Nick feels like she's still a thousand miles away even when she's beside him in the car. He just wants to hold her and comfort her but she's putting off major standoffish vibes. She seems bitter as she asks him if Michael is still looking for a murderer. She tells him that she's looking for one too and Nick is going to help her. He doesn't know what she means and she doesn't explain.

We land in Sara's head. She's gone to the bus station to pick up Russ and she's really nervous about seeing him after all this time. She's been writing to him constantly but he barely writes back. She has no idea if he still likes her or if he's moved on and found someone else. Although that last option sounds a little difficult when he's been in juvie with nothing but boys and he's definitely in the 'I like girls' category of things. One o'clock comes and goes with no sign of him and she resolves herself to the fact that he's not coming. When she steps outside she finds him sitting by the curb. We learn he's been there for two hours because she misunderstood when he was coming and he was on the eleven o'clock bus. Which......how the fuck did she not see him when she went in, Pike?

Come on, you're better than this.

True to bitchy form, Sara immediately starts yelling at him and he's bewildered. She's pissed that he's not more enthusiastic about seeing her but it's hard to be enthusiastic about seeing someone who starts yelling at you the second she sees you. Get a grip, Sara. Russ is clearly trying hard to keep his cool and he gives her a quick peck on the lips. He seems a little traumatized about his time away and doesn't really want to talk about it.

We are now hosted by Michael. He's using the key Bubba gave him to get into Polly's house. He's a little concerned about the legality of what he's doing and whether he'll spend his graduation ceremony in jail next to the former valedictorian, but he's determined to investigate. He goes back up to the room where Alice died and nothing has changed. The ladder is still in front of the closet and the bullet hole in the wall hasn't been plastered over. He checks out the broken shingle again but can't get close enough to really examine it.

He finds a ladder in the garage and sets it up against the house but it's too short to reach the shingle. So he finds some rope and ties it around himself and then to the second-floor balcony. He uses it to walk across the roof and examine the shingle. The shards are broken upward and when he looks closely he can see remnants from a shotgun blast.

Which........

I call bullshit.

It's torrentially poured a few times. Wouldn't that evidence have been washed away?

We're back with Jessica. She's supposed to sing a song at graduation after Michael speaks but the principal has just told her that she can't sing the one she rehearsed. She'd planned to do All You Need is Love by the Beatles but he told her it was too racist. So she has no idea what to sing. Sara is giving a speech as student body president but has no idea what to say. And poor Michael just found out he's valedictorian a day ago so he has nothing prepared either. This could be an interesting ceremony.

Jessica is checking out the mike for the piano when she sees Michael standing off on his own in the distance. He has his head bent over something so he doesn't see her until she calls out his name. She's happy when he smiles and seems glad to see her. She gives him a big hug and wishes that it could last forever. They chat and then his mom comes over so Michael introduces them. After his mom leaves, Jessica almost works up the nerve to tell him how she feels about him but there's still this undercurrent about not being good enough for him. That feeling is reinforced when she sees Nick pushing Maria's wheelchair in the distance. Feeling toxic, she says goodbye to Michael and leaves.

Okay, I'm starting to feel a little bad for Jessica now. She's changed a lot. I could almost like this version.

The ceremony starts. It's hot and sunny and everyone is ready for it to be over already. The guest speaker gives a VERY long speech and everyone is dreading the moment when the principal takes the mike. Jessica notices something odd about the podium. The top has been removed and there's nowhere for anyone to set anything. She wonders why. Sara gets up to give her speech but it's only about two minutes long and pretty hilarious. Then she introduces the principal and hands him a gift as he comes to the front. The gift turns out to be a paperweight and he gives Sara a puzzled 'thank you'. As she's leaving the podium, she whispers to him that it's a uranium paperweight.

Now the principal has a problem. He doesn't want to keep holding a uranium paperweight but he has nowhere to put it. There's no top to the podium and he can't be rude by putting it on the ground. Jessica realizes Sara has done this on purpose to shorten the principal's speech. It works like a charm. He can't stop looking at the paperweight in his hand and he's clearly extremely nervous. He stammers his way through a very short speech that makes very little sense and then gets the hell out of there.

Michael gets up and gives a speech about the life lessons he learned in high school. It's about how you should enjoy the process of learning because that makes it all more meaningful or something. And about how you should treasure the people you met and the friends you've made. Jessica feels a sense of finality as he's talking. She's too late. She had an opportunity to love him and to be loved by him but she threw it away for a shiny quarterback who doesn't even want to kiss her. She regrets every decision she made and wishes she could go back and change it but it's too late. It's all over. After today, she and Michael will likely never see each other again.

I was in her shoes once. Leaving graduation knowing that I had lost any chance I ever had to tell the boy I liked that I liked him. I figured I'd never see him again either and I remember the wrenching pain that caused. I literally cried that night all alone in a bathroom because the pain of not seeing him every day at school was overwhelming.

A few days ago we celebrated our 23^rd wedding anniversary. 💖

Hang in there, Jessica. It's not over yet.

Jessica ends up singing Let it Be by the Beatles ((do you think Pike is a Beatles fan???)) and then they're all graduated and stuff.

Kats watches his classmates bitterly. He worked hard to make up his credits and he's been allowed to graduate with them but none of them talk to him or congratulate him. He's going to get his revenge, though. He's determined that when the ship makes port in the morning it will be empty.

I have no idea what this means but it sounds dramatic so I'll award him with some llamas.

There you go, Kats.  Enjoy them.

We're with Michael now. As soon as the ceremony is over, he heads for Clark's (1) house. It took him months to track down the address but he finally did. He puts the gun in his pocket before he gets out of the car. He's worried Clark might kill him too.

Clark answers the knock and when Michael tells him he wants to talk about Alice, Clark invites him in. There's art stuff everywhere and Michael finds the subject matter fascinating and disturbing in equal measure. Lots of beautiful women with smiling reptilian beasts. Clark seems cautious but not hostile as they sit down. He even offers Michael a beer. Michael is way more nervous than he should be. He's really built Clark up to be some kind of super villain in his head.

Michael asks Clark if he was at Alice's party and Clark says he wasn't. When Michael confronts him with the fact that Polly said he was there at the end, Clark just shrugs and repeats that he didn't go to the party at all. Michael asks him if he's been to see Polly since Alice died and Clark says he hasn't seen her once. Again, Michael says that Polly has a different story and all Clark can say is that she must be mistaken.

Clark is getting impatient with the questions and by now he's noticed the bulge of Michael's gun in his coat pocket. Things are getting pretty tense when a fly bombs Michael's face and he moves his hand suddenly to shoo it away. Clark takes the motion as a move for the gun and he kicks out with his foot, catching Michael in the ribs and knocking him back into the wall. Michael reaches for the gun and Clark hits him over the head with a canvas. Now Clark has the gun. He tells Michael that he didn't kill Alice and Michael should be more careful who he accuses. Then he hits Michael in the side of the head with the gun and Michael passes out.

When Michael comes too, his shirt is covered with his own blood and he's dizzy. He's pretty sure he has a concussion but now he's determined to catch the party boat before it leaves the dock.

That's my boy, Michael.  WALK IT OFF!!!!

We're in Jessica's head again now. She and Sara have stopped off at a drugstore on their way to the dock to pick up some contraceptives. They aren't sure what to get and they're pretty embarrassed to be doing this at all. To make it worse, the checkout guy is just a little older than them and really cute. Sara keeps trying to chicken out but Jessica reminds her that they are grown (mostly) women and they don't need to be ashamed of having a sex drive.

I can't believe I just gave that to Jessica. Maybe I gave it to Pike.  That feels more palatable.  

Jessica comes up with a plan to distract the young, cute counter boy and then Sara can go buy the contraceptives from the older pharmacist. As she's buying a random collection of sponges, foam and condoms, Bubba walks in. He hassles Sara a bit, trying to get her to add a bottle of baby oil for a massage afterwards (public service announcement: never use baby oil with condoms or as a lube). When he catches sight of Jessica, he winks and tells her to keep Sara's receipt.

Odds the Bill is gay: 96%

Wouldn't it be awesome if The Rock was only pretending to be a homophobe in an effort to conceal his own orientation??  And then wouldn't it be awesome if Bill and The Rock ended up an OTP?

Bill + The Rock = 4eva!!!!!!

We land in Polly's head. She's at Alice's grave with some flowers. Her thinking is very....disordered. “Clark” (2) appears with a duffel bag. He tells Polly that time is running out to punish everyone for what they did to Alice. Jessica and Sara in particular need to pay because it was their idea to have the party in the first place. Polly tries to argue with him that what happened to Alice had nothing to do with her classmates but he doesn't agree. He tells her that she's going to smuggle him onto the boat and then he's going to blow a hole in the side of it and make it sink. Polly tells him that Jessica can't swim and he gives zero fucks.

Guys. This version of Clark has to be in her head. For one thing, he never mentioned Michael at all and he definitely would have if he was real. Also, he's wearing different clothes than Michael described and.....well, it's just really obvious that this Clark is what Polly uses to explain her own behavior.

Odds that Polly killed Alice: 95%

Odds that Polly killed her aunt: 75%

Odds that Polly killed her parents: 50%

Odds that “Clark”(2) is a figment of Polly's imagination: 100%

We're on the boat now in one of the virgin-busting cabins. Jessica and Sara are trying to divvy up their contraceptives and figure out how to casually have them nearby without looking like skanks. Sara is desperately trying to read directions on things because she has no idea how to use anything. Jessica tells her that the boys will know and this is a BAD POLICY, y'all. Always make sure you know how to use whatever you're using. Just because they're born with a penis doesn't mean they're born with contraceptive knowledge. Besides, why should it be the boy's responsibility to know these things? Educate yourselves and protect yourselves.

But there's still no way Jessica's using any of this stuff with Bill.

We hop into Michael's head. He's running late because he had to go home and shower the blood out of his hair and change his shirt. He also writes down everything he knows about Alice's death and seals it in an envelope. He leaves it with the detective in charge of Alice's case, telling him to open it if Michael doesn't come back for it on Monday. He makes the ship just in time and wanders around looking for Clark. He finds Polly instead.

He stops to talk with Polly who has a headache again. She isn't alone. Michael's head is throbbing and his vision keeps getting blurry off and on.  ((WALK IT OFF!!!))  Polly tells him that Clark is on board and he has something bad planned. Michael still believes that the Clark Polly sees is the real one and he's worried that the guy is wandering around the boat with his gun.

We land briefly in Sara's head. She's worried because the Lakers are losing at halftime and irritated because Bubba is getting drunk and having a great time. She's also pissed at Russ who hasn't been paying her much attention since he got on the boat. He's been nice to her but he's spending his time with his cross-country friends. I mean, I don't know why he doesn't want to hang around with a shrew who does nothing but yell at him.

Back with Michael. He's searched the entire boat and hasn't found any sign of Clark. He's starting to doubt that Clark is on board after all. He's trying to figure out his next move when he sees Jessica standing all alone. He goes over to talk to her and she reaches up to touch his hair because it looks wet. He blocks her hand because he knows it's blood, not water. His dark hair is masking it and he keeps ducking into the bathroom to wipe it away, but his head continues to bleed. He can feel it oozing along his scalp and dripping into his ear and it's distracting as Jessica prattles on about nothing important. Finally she notices the blood and he tells her he scratched his ear. He makes a hasty retreat to the bathroom where he manages to clean himself up as best as he can with toilet paper and paper towels. He's dizzy again when he's done.

He goes to find Bubba who is well and truly drunk now and pulls him into a bathroom to talk. He gets Bubba to admit to having sex with Clair while Alice was killed. Clair did indeed get pregnant and have an abortion. Bubba gets pretty maudlin over the fact that they didn't try to keep the baby. He tells Michael that he and Clair are getting on married on Sunday and he wants Michael to be his maid of honor. Michael corrects him to best man and says he'd be honored. Michael asks if Bubba rigged the school presidential election and he says he didn't. Sara won fair and square but he did make Clair vice president. Michael asks about the HQ thing and Bubba admits that Jessica won but he changed the results to Maria. He says it was a good thing because Jessica is bigger than Maria and the float would have fallen sooner and she might have been more seriously injured. Michael wonders if Jessica had been the intended target all along.

We're back with Polly. She's taking a bath and is offended that “Clark” (2) hasn't tried to join her. She even left the door open so he could take a peek but he hasn't. It isn't because she doesn't look good naked. She tells us that she has perfect breasts and creamy thighs. She wishes he'd make love to her before he kills them all. He finally comes in the bathroom and tells her she needs to hurry up because he can't do anything without her. She asks him why and he tells her that she knows why.

BECAUSE HE'S YOU!!!

He gets mad at her for arguing with him and throws the hair dryer in the tub with her, giving her a shock. I don't know whether that actually happened (as in she put the hair dryer in herself) or if it was a flashback to the ECT she got after her parents died.

We're with Sara now and the Lakers have just lost the game. She's furious. She hauls Bubba out of the room and demands to know what the hell she's supposed to do now. Bubba tells her he bet her money on the Celtics. She's relieved but now it's time to pay up. She asks him about that and he turns her down. He says he has to remain faithful to Clair. Sara is inexplicably pissed about this. She thinks he's turning her down because she doesn't turn him on and she starts yelling at him for not wanting to have sex with her. I'm so done with Sara, y'all.

With Nick now. He's thinking about how much things have changed. Some of it is good – he has respect at school now and a scholarship to college. Some of it is bad – he can't reach Maria no matter how hard he tries. And he does try. Over and over while she just pretty much treats him like some person she barely knows. It's heartbreaking. He finally begs her to tell him what he can do and she tells him she wants him to gather up all the people who were at Alice's party when she died. Not right this minute but later.

By 3 am, most of the people on the ship are asleep. They're in chairs or on couches or on some foam padding that someone provided. We're in Jessica's head now and she and Sara are in the virgin-busting room discussing division of contraceptives again. They've invited the boys to their rooms and they're supposed to arrive in ten minutes. The girls plan to be in the shower when they arrive (in separate rooms, not together!) and then they hope nature will take its course.

We stay with Jessica. She puts her plan into motion but she can't seem to get Bill in the game. He's not falling for her fake shower bit and then when she gets out, he's standoffish and not making any kind of move. She decides to put the moves on him and he gives it a token effort before pulling away and telling her that it's not going to work. She's hurt and confused but he tells her that he just “had to see” and then he leaves.

Ha! I knew it.

Jessica is devastated. Not because she was particularly fond of Bill or anything but because she feels rejected and disgusting.

We hop to Sara to see if her seduction plan goes any better. Russ is late and she's annoyed. When he gets there and finds her in the shower, he asks if she wants him to join her and for some reason she tells him no. That sets the tone right there. Russ is sure she doesn't have hanky panky in mind. Sara puts on a robe and goes out into the bedroom where she proceeds to just get angry with him because he's trying to be respectful of what he thinks she wants. She finally just topples him over and Russ is willing to go along with things for awhile. His hands and mouth get pretty busy but then he stops and tells her that he respects her too much to take advantage of her. She asks him if he's had sex before and he says he has but those girls meant nothing to him. Sara means something to him and he wants to treat her differently.

It's kind of a swoon moment really if you don't think about those other poor girls.

We catch up with Michael. Dale-the-impeached-valedictorian challenged him to a game of chess at midnight and it lasted a couple of hours before finally ending in a draw. Michael's head is pounding worse and worse and he's feeling weaker and weaker as the night goes on. He tries to search for Polly but can't find her. He steps into a bathroom to get a drink of water and ends up passing out for an hour. He wakes up in a puddle of his own blood.

As he staggers out of the bathroom, he realizes he's spent an entire year chasing a ghost essentially and avoiding doing anything about Jessica. He decides that needs to change. He looks for her but can't find her. Fortunately for him, however, Bubba knows all and give Michael the number for her room. In the hallway, he runs into Bill who honest to God flirts with him and then gives Michael his number so they can “hang out sometime”. 

It's too bad Michael doesn't swing Bill's way because they'd be a cute couple and I think Bill might treat him better than Jessica.

Michael knocks on Jessica's door and she tells him to come in. He's surprised to find her in robe, her hair wet. The air is still steamy and he realizes she just came out of the shower. He gives her some lame story about wanting her to sign his yearbook and luckily he's been carrying it around I guess. They exchange books and he struggles to figure out what to write. As he does, he realizes he just saw Bill in the hall and this was the only place he could have come from. He assumes Jessica and Bill just had sex and he's devastated to say the least. He feels like he's going to cry and he's determined not to do that in front of her.

She notices his distress and then she sees the blood. Before he can stop her, she examines his scalp and sees the wound. She wants him to see a doctor but he refuses. He needs to get out of the room before he breaks down completely. She bursts into sobs when she realizes he's about to go. She tells him he has to read what she wrote in his yearbook first. He does.

“I love you, Michael.”

He's stunned. He thinks she's just talking about loving him as a friend so he questions her. She tells him she's in love with him and she has been for a long time. Then she tells him that she doesn't think Alice wanted them to meet. He corrects her and tells her that Alice intended them to be together all along. To be honest and fair, she tells him about trying to seduce Bill. He's not exactly happy to hear that but he lets it go. They put together all the things Bubba has said and realize that Bill is definitely same sex oriented. Jessica feels pretty dumb.

They start to kiss and fall back on the bed. Michael is having the time of his life but he suddenly realizes he's bleeding all over the sheets. Jessica is alarmed. She wants to wash the cut out really good and suggests that they get in the shower together. Michael is just a tiny hesitant because he's not feeling his best but she assures him she isn't expecting an earth-shattering experience here. She just wants to clean his cut and make sure he's okay.

He tells us it was the best damn shower he ever had in his life. I don't know if actual sex happened.

Afterwards, Michael mentions looking for Polly and Jessica gives him her room number.  He leaves to check on her and finds the hair dryer in the bathtub. Things finally start to come together for him and he realizes what Polly's been trying to tell him all year.

We hop into Sara's head. She goes to Jessica's room to see how the deflowering went. She sees the blood on Jessica's sheets and gets super jealous. Jessica tells her that nothing happened with Bill but she had all kinds of fun with Michael. She says it so playfully that neither Sara nor I can tell if she's kidding. Michael comes back and says that he wants to gather everyone up for a meeting. Sara says that Nick is doing the same thing for Maria.

Polly and “Clark” (2) are below deck. He is installing a bomb that will go off in an hour and sink the ship. She doesn't stop him. He tells her that it's too late to remember and she agrees.

We briefly touch base with Kats who is putting his grand plan into action as well.

The group, with the exception of Kats, gather below deck. I'm pretty sure they're in the room with the bomb. Michael locks them all in and asks Maria if she wants to go first. She tells him to go ahead so he begins to rehash book one for us. I'm not going to bother. He's just reviewing where they all were and what they were all doing when they heard the gun. We get reminded of the fact that the stereo was on extra loud just prior to the shot and then Michael reminds them that both Nick and Kats ran downstairs when they heard the gun. The two of them have more experience with guns and gunshots than anyone else and they both seemed to think the gunshot was coming from down rather than up.

Michael tells them about the evidence he found that a gun had been shot from the back yard toward the house. He maintains that the sound they heard was that gun being fired and not the one that shot Alice. So maybe the stereo was turned up to disguise the sound of the gun that actually did shoot Alice??

Jessica is worried about Michael. He's completely white and he keeps leaning against things like he's losing strength.

Michael proposes that Alice was dead before Nick ever went into the room that night. He questions Polly about who shot the shotgun outside and she admits she did. She tells him that Clark is the one who shot Alice but he tells her no. Jessica is furious with him for insinuating that Polly shot Alice and Michael tells her that Alice was dead before she got shot.

The room dissolves into pandemonium at that point. Through it all, Michael is asking Polly if she killed Alice and Polly is insisting it was Clark. An alarm goes off outside and they can hear people shouting. Someone yells that the ship is on fire and the group frantically heads for the door. Before they can get out, though, Polly pulls a gun out and tells them all to freeze. She tells them that they can't leave. 

Michael, Bubba, Jessica and Maria all make individual attempts to get the gun. Maria's attempt reveals she can walk again. Michael finally manages to get it away from Polly. That's when Bubba reveals that the ship isn't really on fire. Kats lit off a bunch of smoke bombs to make everyone think the boat was on fire. Everyone starts to relax and then the bomb goes off.

The room fills with fire and water as a hole is blown into the side of the ship. Jessica is pinned to the wall with a heavy beam and she sees the water rising. Michael and the The Rock frantically work to free her but she can't get lose. She tells them to leave her. They need to save themselves. The water is passing chest level now and she knows she's going to die. Michael tells her that she has to pull her arm out. It's broken and it hurts and she doesn't think she can but he begs her and she realizes how terrified he is. She agrees to try.

They get her free and escape the room. The water is close to the ceiling now and Jessica can't swim. Michael lovingly tells her to close her mouth and hold her breath and he pulls them both along and out of the hall. They manage to make it up a ladder and onto the next deck and then onto the top. Most of their group is already in a lifeboat getting ready to go down to the water. That's when they realize The Rock didn't make it out with them. All the boys take turns saying they'll go after him with all their girlfriends saying hell no. Finally Bill volunteers to go.

Bill + The Rock = 4eva!!!!

The rest of them reach safety just as the boat sinks.

In the boat, Polly snaps. She tells them that she accidentally caused her parents' car crash by distracting them with a tantrum while they were driving. Then she tells everyone that Clark did everything else. He pushed Alice off the ladder, chopped down the varsity tree, stole Sara's money, rigged the float, set the bomb. They quickly realize this is impossible and Michael presses her to admit that “Clark” (2) doesn't exist. A calm comes over Polly and she admits to doing everything herself. Then she pulls out another bomb and sets a timer. She tells them they have five minutes to leave the lifeboat before the bomb goes off.

There are only four life jackets. Sara, Clair and Maria get one. They try to give the last one to Jessica but she knows she can't get her broken arm through it so Nick ends up with it because he can't swim either. Everyone starts to go into the ocean to swim away from Polly and the bomb. Jessica assures them all that she has a flotation device under her and she'll be right behind them. It's a lie.

When the others are gone, Michael tells her to get the flotation device and she admits there isn't one. He tells her to swim for it and she reveals that her arm is broken AND she can't swim. She tells him he has to save himself because there's no hope for her. It's too much for him and he bursts into tears and tells her that he won't leave her. She puts her hand on his face and tells him that she's glad she got to tell him she loved him.

Michael refuses to leave her so Polly threatens to blow them up immediately if he doesn't go. He knows that the only way Jessica has a chance is if she can talk Polly out of it. He tells Jessica he loves her and gives her a kiss and then she pretty much shoves him over the side into the water.

When he's gone, Polly asks her why she didn't go. She could have taken Sara's life jacket because Sara is an amazing swimmer. Jessica tells her that she didn't want Polly to be alone. They've been friends since they were little and if Polly is going to die, Jessica is going to die with her. Jessica knows that Michael was wrong about some things. Polly might have covered up Alice's death by shooting her, but there's no way she pushed Alice off the ladder. Polly says Alice slipped and fell but it was her fault for arguing with her while she was up there.

Jessica also doesn't believe she killed her aunt. Polly insists she did but Jessica keeps pushing and says that her aunt probably died from old age. Eventually Polly agrees but the truth is pretty gray on that one. Polly definitely took the money, chopped down the tree, set the bomb and rigged the float though. Jessica tries to convince her that none of those things are worth dying for but Polly isn't so sure. She tells Jessica that no one has ever loved her and Jessica says that she does. If she didn't love Polly, she would have taken a life jacket and left with Michael. Polly throws the bomb into the ocean and all is well.

Everyone – even Bill and The Rock – made it to shore safely.

Now we get an epilogue. Michael has been stitched up. He has a moderate concussion and is still feeling dizzy and blurry from time to time. Jessica had to have a pin put in her arm but she's doing okay. Russ was released from juvvie since Polly admitting to chopping down the tree. Bubba and Clair are still getting married and Nick is marrying Maria so she can stay in the country. Michael's sister was born. Jessica asks him if they named her Alice and he says no. He's still learning to let Alice go and naming his sister after her would just make that harder.

They discuss future plans. Michael wants to write a book about everything that happened this year and Jessica wants to start a band. The book ends on an optimistic note and I'd like to think that everyone is still together living happily ever after.

Except maybe Sara and Russ. That poor boy deserves MUCH better.

Bill + The Rock = 4eva!!!!