Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/odor is.
Tag Line: The sweet smell....of EVIL.From the Back of the Book: Venom...Dove doesn't want to buy the perfume. The sound of its name fills her with fear and its fragrance wraps itself around her heart. But somehow she can't help herself. It's almost as if something - or someone - inside her is forcing her to try it. And when Dove puts on the perfume, she unleashes a part of herself that has been locked away all her life...the second self she never knew existed. And it's EVIL...
This cover is pretty banged up. I get most of my books from used book stores and sometimes they're in pretty rough shape. It's interesting to note that the cover art on this book is the UK version rather than the American version. I used to own the book with the American cover and it wasn't nearly as cool.
The UK cover definitely fits the description in the book a little better.
This book was published in 1992 and I've read it before. In fact, it sat on my keeper shelf for a really long time before it inevitably got purged. The thing is...I can't figure out WHY it was on my keeper shelf. I have limited bookshelf space so I don't keep everything I read. Normally for me to keep one of these I have to either really love the story or really love the guy. Neither of those apply here. At any rate, I had to re-buy a copy for this blog and I've never regretted a purchase more.
I hadn't really planned to do this book at all. The other blog my manager reads had already covered this one so that technically let me off the hook. My first recap for this month was something my most faithful reader Wrath couldn't read, though, and I needed something I could throw in super fast so she had something to read. I decided it would be easier for me to do a book I've already read so that I knew for sure it would be okay. I went to the shelf and picked up two books I've really been wanting to recap (Camp Fear and Funhouse). Both have already been covered by the other blog so my manager was banning them from mine. I knew she'd okay it once she learned it was for Wrath, so I called her in to ask her which of those two I should do. At the last second before she got in the room, I grabbed this book off the shelf and added it to the pile. I don't know why. I REGRET ALL MY LIFE CHOICES. She took one look at the three of them and pointed to this one.
Before I start I have to say that this
recap will not approach the lunacy of this book. I am recapping from
the perspective of a semi-normal person here and the book definitely
wasn't written that way. You guys really have to read this thing
because it is......a mind-fuck.
We begin with our protagonist Dove
and her BFFs Connie and Luce
looking at a newspaper ad for a new perfume called Venom. Dove is
not the Venom type – she's soft and mild and....well....dove-like –
but she's obsessing over this perfume. She doesn't know what it
smells like but she knows she has to have it. Luce checks to see
where it's available and it turns out a store called “Dry Ice”
has it. Dove tells us that Dry Ice is the trendiest store ever and
she describes something that sounds an awful lot like Hot Topic to me
with one notable exception. Dry Ice actually uses dry ice so that
fog-like vapor envelops the entire store. I have no idea how anyone
actually shops in a fog but whatever. Dove feels like Dry Ice speaks
to her. She says it tells her that its been waiting for her.
I literally forgot how hokey this book
was. Sigh.
Dove is afraid of Dry Ice but
she's used to that because she's afraid of lots of things. She tells us that she still checks
under her bed for monsters every night before she goes to sleep. She
wants Venom so much that she's willing to face her fear of the store
to get it. The girls agree to go after school. For the rest of the
day, Venom haunts Dove. She feels like it sinks tiny teeth into her
brain and crawls around her skull upside down.
Dove cannot bear things that match.
Identical objects throw her into feelings of doom and despair. Full
parking lots are like cemeteries to her. I despise this girl. I
really, really do. Man, did I made a MASSIVE mistake sticking this
book into my pile of possibles.
They make it into Dry Ice and find the
perfume. Dove refuses to breathe. She thinks the perfume will get
inside her and eat her alive. The other two girls try it on and
agree that it doesn't smell very good. The bottle is pretty though –
translucent and shaped like a snake. Dove tells us that the perfume
is “before history...before sanity”. I have NO FUCKING
IDEA what that means. I'm exhausted and I've read 5 pages. What is
WRONG with Cooney??????????????????????????????
Dove smells the perfume and knows that
something will be under her bed when she checks that night. She can
no longer recognize her friends or remember their names.
Well, that seems normal.
Nah, you're fine, Dove. Totally fine.
Dove is silent all the way home. She
feels like Dry Ice has stolen all of the words out of her body. Her
friends tease her about buying the foul-smelling perfume as they drop
her off at home. Dove can't remember which of the identical
condominiums she lives in. She wanders around for awhile but can't
tell if she's actually gone anywhere at all. She has to look at the identification card in her purse to remember her address.
Then she feels her heart split down the middle and suddenly she has
two hearts instead of one.
Totally normal. You're fine.
WALK IT OFF!!!!!!!
Dove hates her house. It's identical
to all the others and full of identical furniture. She looks out the
skylight and sees bright blue sky but the sky outside is actually
gray. She figures it's because the name of the condo complex is Sky
Change Hills. Because clearly the name of the condo has the power to
actually alter the fucking sky.
There's a bunch of words about Dove not
having any bright colors in her room because they scare her and not
having anything that matches because....well, you know. She drops
the perfume bottle and the smell invades her body. THIS BOOK IS A
NIGHTMARE TO READ.
The next day, Dove feels her mind begin
to flutter. It feels like a bird is flapping around in her skull and
her head feels full. She hits her head hard with her hand and the
fluttering stops. She makes her breakfast – oatmeal “black
with raisins” - and then can't eat it because the raisins look
like eyes and she thinks they'll see inside her stomach if she eats
them.
Oatmeal black with raisins.
Oatmeal BLACK with raisins.
At school, the weird fluttering
continues to plague Dove. She wishes she could stick her fingers
inside her skull and itch her brain. During Biology the fluttering
turns to footsteps and she feels someone walking around in her head.
She asks her teacher if it's possible to be born with another person
inside her and he tells her that sounds like schizophrenia to him.
It's totally DID but whatevs.
Nevertheless, Dove decides there's a
second person inside her skull and she compares it to having a piece
of gravel in her shoe. In Ancient History they discuss how Egyptians
drilled holes in the skull to treat mental illness and things like
migraines and seizures. It was thought to let the evil out and Dove
thinks this might be a possible solution to her current predicament.
I'm hoping she'll try and then the book can be over.
Dove tells us about her parents and
it's super boring and I'm not going to recap it. READ THE DAMN BOOK
YOURSELVES!! She loves them but they're not close and rarely
actually speak to each other. That night she forces them to talk to
her by asking for a story. The story her father chooses to tell is
about how her twin sister disappeared in utero. Solid choice there,
dad. They had been expecting twins. An early ultrasound showed two
so they picked out the names Wing and Dove and prepared for
two babies. Then one of them simply vanished due to a phenomena
called Vanishing Twin Syndrome.
So this is an actual thing. It usually happens in the early weeks of pregnancy where one twin simply stops
developing. The tissue is absorbed into the surviving twin, the
mother or the placenta giving it the appearance that the dead twin
has vanished.
Dove becomes convinced that the second
person inside her is Wing and Wing is looking for a way to escape.
The next day after school, Dove writhes around on the carpet trying to
scratch Wing out of her head. Meanwhile Wing is screaming and
beating on the inside of her skull. Dove can hear Wing laughing at
her and when she looks in the mirror she sees three of her.
Don't worry about that brain tumor
there, Dove. You're fine. WALK IT OFF!!!
Dove goes to her room and uncorks the
bottle of perfume. The ancient smell permeates the entire
condo....you know, as perfume does. Suddenly the pressure in her
head stops. Dove knows it's because Wing has finally emerged and she
actually begins to look around for her. Then she realizes that Wing
is in control of the body and she's now invisible.
At this point I would ordinarily say
that this character has had a psychotic break and I feel that I can't
snark on her anymore BUT this is a Cooney. And because it's a
Cooney, we have to take this ridiculous garbage at face value.
Cooney requires us to accept that an absorbed twin can be “activated”
by the smell of a dank perfume and then take over a person's body.
I hate Cooney.
Dove takes up residence in the back of
the brain while Wing tries out her new body. She finds the perfume
and greets it lovingly telling it that she's waited her whole life
for it to come.
That's not weird at all. You're FINE.
Completely fine. Nothing to worry about.
Wing tells Dove that “the maternal
body” discarded her (Wing) because it knew somehow she was evil
and unfit to live. She says that was lucky for Dove because if she
had been born she would have found a way to kill Dove by now. She
hates Dove and is sick to death of listening to her talk for all these years.
Wing goes to school while Dove wrings
her hands inside the brain. Wing is mean and disrespectful to pretty
much everyone. Luce and Connie don't even recognize her anymore. A
mean girl named Hesta seems interested in forming an unholy
alliance though. Wing speaks up in History class about a pretty dumb
idea for a class project and the teacher shuts her down. Wing vows
revenge!
After school, Wing is still ranting
about the History teacher and Dove is trying to talk her off the
ledge. As a result, she's full-on talking to herself when her mom
gets home. Her mom demands to know why Dove is acting so strange and
talking in two voices like two different people. Wing replies that
she never liked the “maternal body”. Her mom is concerned
and later her father finds her talking to herself too and is also
concerned. But not actually concerned to...you know....DO something. That would be rash.
The next day at school Wing's grand
plan is to wave the perfume under the History teacher's nose to wake
up his vanished twin and drive him crazy. Dove tries to explain that
not everyone has a vanished twin but Wing doesn't believe her. During
class she uncorks the perfume and waves it around. Nothing happens.
The smell invades the room but nothing happens except people
complaining about how nasty it smells. Wing is confused. Someone opens
a window and the fresh air seems to push Wing out of the body and
back into the back of the brain.
Which.
Bullshit.
Wing was outside several times and the air never caused a switch. It makes no sense that it would randomly cause a switch now.
Back in control of the body, Dove
discards the perfume and considers the matter handled. I wish it was
but we're not even halfway through the book yet.
Now that she's back in the driver's
seat, Dove realizes how much more comfortable she was in the
passenger seat. She feels awkward and unsure of herself when she's
in control. She liked not having to make any kind of social decision
or have any interaction. She's particularly nervous around a couple
of boys named Timmy and Laurence. Dove has a thing for
Timmy but Wing hates him. The girls make plans to meet the boys at
the mall. Connie and Luce want to go to Dry Ice again but Dove plans
to stay far away.
When they get to the mall, Connie is
stunned to find that Dry Ice no longer exists. Not only is it gone, but no one except Connie
and Dove seem to remember it even existed. So....that's weird.
The next morning Wing is causing a
commotion in Dove's head again. She walks to the bus stop where she
meets up with Luce and Connie. Wing is flying around and around her
head and she's scared the top is just going to fly off so she puts
her backpack on top of her head and just stands there like that.
In History, Hesta finds the bottle of
Venom in Dove's purse. Wing gleefully tells Dove that she put it in
there. Just as Timmy is asking Dove to go to a hot air balloon
launch with him on Saturday, Hesta opens the Venom and Wing takes
over again. She agrees to the date with Timmy and Dove is scared.
She has no idea what Wing might do to the poor boy.
Wing decides she can't possibly wear
any of Dove's clothes on the date so she borrows some trendy black
stuff from Luce. Timmy picks her up at 5am on Saturday. Wing is
hoping to do something exciting and dramatic but finds talking to
Timmy boring. She keeps the body but lets Dove use the mouth.
They get to the festival and Timmy asks
if she wants to go up in one of the balloons. Dove doesn't want to
but Wing takes control of the mouth and says yes. In her head, she
tells Dove that she thinks it would be super fabulous if Timmy fell
out of the basket. Dove freaks out. They go up in the balloon and
Wing encourages Timmy to go higher and higher. They're over a farm
when she decides to push Timmy out of the balloon. She grabs him and
begins the push but fortunately for Timmy, the smell of farmland
reaches the nose and Dove is back in charge.
This makes no sense, Cooney. Are you
trying to tell us that there have been absolutely NO SMELLS since
Wing took over? Smells are everywhere. I'm just sitting in my
living room and I can smell at least three distinctive smells. If
you're going to make some random rule for your world – which is
100% your right – then at least have it make sense.
Dove grips Timmy's shirt and tells him
that she lost her balance but he doesn't fully believe her. He knows
she almost pushed him and he's scared. Not only that but the "silent" argument Dove and Wing have been having wasn't as silent as Dove thought. He's been listening to her talk to herself in two different voices. Dove is heartbroken. She
really wants to be Timmy's girlfriend and Wing has ruined it. He
sets the balloon down and then takes Dove straight home, not saying a
word to her on the entire ride.
When Dove gets back inside she sees a
note from her mom saying a friend dropped off something for her. It
turns out Hesta brought the Venom back and some spilled out. Wing
takes control again. She's cruel to both the “maternal body”
and the “paternal body” and they're horrified at what
their daughter is turning into. Dove's given up completely. She
has no idea how the smell thing works (NEITHER DO I!!!) and feels like she'll never be in control of the body again. Wing is simply stronger than she is.
Wing vows to destroy Luce and Connie
for reasons which aren't entirely clear.
Then again, nothing is
entirely clear.
This book reeks more than the Venom.
At school, Wing is super mean to Connie
and Luce and super nice to Hesta. She invites Hesta to go to the
mall with her because she wants to buy new clothes. When they get
there, Wing becomes fascinated by a pyramid of glass on top of a
fountain. She begins to worship at it, her hands over her head and
her body trembling. Everyone is staring at her. She steps into the
fountain and begins throwing the water all over herself.
Dove can hear the people talking.
They're calling for help because they think Wing has lost her mind.
Hesta tries to get Wing out the fountain but Wing isn't listening to
her. She continues to worship and baptize herself.
WHAT THE HOLY FUCK AM I READING? WHY
DID I OWN THIS BOOK? WHY DID I KEEP IT? WHY DID I BUY A SECOND COPY? WHY DID I ADD IT TO THE PILE FOR MY MANAGER TO PICK FROM?
I REGRET EVERYTHING!!!
Hesta gets Wing out of the mall. She
seems amused now. She can't figure out if Wing has gone insane or if
she's just finally becoming an interesting person. Wing, meanwhile, is
growing tired of Hesta. She tells Hesta to call her Wing instead of
Dove and Hesta makes fun of the name. Wing decides Hesta must die.
They pull up to a stoplight and the car
next to them contains Timmy and Laurence. Wing encourages Hesta to
race them and Timmy is just dumb enough to join in. As they go
faster and faster, Dove realizes Wing intends to grab the wheel and
crash them all. She pleads with Wing to reconsider. She doesn't
mind if Wing destroys her because she can't imagine living like this
anymore anyway, but she doesn't want Wing to hurt anyone else.
Wing and Dove begin to argue about Wing
killing Hesta. Out loud. Where Hesta can hear. Hesta suddenly
pulls off into a donut shop parking lot and leaves the car. Wing is
hella pissed.
The next day at school, Wing tells
everyone who will listen about her failed plan to kill Timmy and her
failed plan to kill Hesta. She gets called into the psychologist's
office where she talks openly about killing Timmy and Hesta again.
Her parents are summoned and she tells them that she's their unborn
daughter. They're terrified. The psychologist recommends a hospital
but her parents refuse. They have important things to deal with at
work and they just want to take Dove home. Rhyming words start pouring from
“the mouth” but neither Dove nor Wing seems to be saying
them. They are both surprised by them.
Cooney never explains that, by the way. She just throws it down and walks away. Kind of like one of those flaming bags of poop people leave on your doorstep. This entire book is a flaming bag of poop.
As soon as they step outside, the smell
of flowers in the flowerbed knock Wing out of place and Dove takes
control again. WHICH MAKES NO SENSE because those fucking flowers
were there when Dove went IN the school so they should have knocked
Wing out then if they were going to. Dove gets in the car with her
mom and explains that Wing will be quiet now. Wing argues with
her...audibly. Dove says that at first they are both in the mouth
but the longer she stays in control, the harder Wing will find it to
use the mouth without Dove's permission. Dove's mother is not super reassured by this.
They take Dove to a psychiatrist where
she continues to sit and argue audibly with Wing. Well, she thinks
it's silent but it's not. At one point Wing tells Dove that she
needs therapy and I actually giggled. It's the only good thing in
this entire book. The psychiatrist understandably orders commitment.
He thinks she has a “split personality” which I said a
hundred pages ago only I used the PROPER term thankyouverymuch.
Dove insists that she doesn't have a second personality. She
has a second person inside her. They fail to see the
difference and she is sedated and admitted.
Dove finds the hospital terrifying and
therapy frustrating. No one will believe her. She tries to reason
with Wing. She agrees to share the body if Wing will agree to stop
trying to hurt people. Wing doesn't want to be reasonable. Wing
urges Dove to just give up the body entirely and Dove is so miserable
that she considers it.
Dove is only in the hospital for one
week. Insurance won't pay for more. She even goes back to school
right away. Most of the kids are too scared to talk to her but Hesta
is super chummy despite knowing Wing tried to kill her a few chapters ago. I think Hesta has some issues of her own.
After school, Luce approaches. She says she wants to help
and Wing decides now is a good time to try to kill her. She asks
Luce to take her for a ride in the car and Luce happily agrees. She
just wants to help her friend.
They head for the car but Hesta
intercepts them. She invites them to the mall but Luce hates Hesta
and doesn't want to go. Luce takes off and Wing has to adjust her
plan. Dove realizes she's going to have to fight Wing or the rest of
her life will be this way.
When they get to the mall, Dove begins
her campaign to take control of the body. It involves a
lilac-scented handkerchief and the pyramid at the fountain and I'll
be honest......I didn't understand a word of it. Dove holds the
lilac-scented handkerchief to her nose and steps into the fountain.
She tells the pyramid to take Wing back and then Wing is gone.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
I fucking hate Cooney.
I've learned my lesson, y'all. When
presenting three books to the manager for approval make sure NONE OF
THEM ARE COONEY.
No comments:
Post a Comment