Crash Landing by Nicole Davidson

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/rabid snow bunny is.

Tag Line:  Return to Deep Creek Lake...and the curse that will not die.

From the Back of the Book:  She stood at the frozen edge of Deep Creek Lake, tears trickling down the hollows of her cheeks.  That night came back to her in too-vivid flashes - screams from the dark woods, the frenzied search...and the horrible realization of what had happened.  She hadn't wanted to come here ever again... Despite the terrifying memories of a weekend being stalked by a killer and the horror of losing a good friend to an icy death, Kelly has agreed to join the Ski Club for spring break at Deep Creek Lake.  After all, the psycho responsible for the horror of that weekend was locked up tight in a mental hospital....  But a quick glimpse of a familiar face on the slopes strikes a note of panic in Kelly's heart.  The unthinkable has become a reality...and a crazed killer is plotting a sinister way to get away with murder.  The terror has returned.....

That tag line is a big bundle of lies.  Lies, I say!!!  This book has nothing to do with the curse of Deep Creek Lake.  It actually has little to do with the Lake at all.  Davidson gathered up the same people so she could market this as a sequel to Crash Course, but it had nothing to do with the first book.  Forget everything you learned about Deep Creek Lake a couple of blog posts ago because Davidson contradicts it ALL in this book.

This book was published in 1996.  This was my first reading.

I know, I know. When I finished Crash Course I said I wasn't going to rush to recap this book. But then I read Swamp Witch and I was so traumatized that I didn't even protest when my manager handed me this one. I really do think she tortures me on purpose. She's like Pearl and I'm like Mike being forced to watch all those horrific movies. At least Pearl has enough mercy not to make Mike recap the damn things. I wish I had a robot made out of a gumball machine. Sigh.

Odds of me regretting my acceptance of this book: 95%

We begin with our protagonist Kelly Peterson standing beside Deep Creek Lake having flashbacks from the last book which I REFUSE TO RECAP. Go read the blog post. I'm not going through that again. Also, despite being our protagonist, I doubt we'll be exclusively in Kelly's head for this book. If I remember Crash Course correctly, we head-hopped A LOT.

It's been over a year since Brian died and she hates being back at the lake. The ski club adviser Annette Riley comes to check on her and make sure she's okay. She asks why Kelly is so upset about being at the lake and Kelly tells her to go read my recap. Actually, she just reviews the entire Crash Course book for Annette. It condenses down to about two pages if you can believe that. It's amazing how very little actually happened in that book when you look at it from a distance.

Annette claims ignorance of the incident and I call bullshit on this book already. There is NO WAY Annette didn't know about the death of a student in that EXACT LOCATION. I get that she's new in town and might not have caught the news coverage, but one of the teachers in the break room would have brought it up as soon as they heard where the ski club was going.  I'm wondering how the hell the ski club even got approval from the administration to go back to a remote place where a student died and two students were seriously injured. You'd think the insurance alone would be prohibitive enough to make them choose another location. 

Odds of this happening in the real world: 1%

Annette (who is a TEACHER if I haven't made that part clear and MARRIED to a guy named Frank who is also along on the trip) and Kelly make their way back to the cabin. Jeff is standing outside and he yells out “Hey look! Two beautiful snowbunnies!”

….........

….........

Davidson.

Glurg.

I don't know if you know this, but that's NOT how students talk to teachers unless the teacher's last name is Letourneau. Super gross.

Nathan is standing there as well and he immediately starts bitching about Frank being along on the trip when he can't ski. Frank was seriously injured in a ski accident in college and is now paralyzed from the waist down. Nathan makes some pretty disgusting remarks about Frank and his capabilities but I don't really expect anything else. I remember him being pretty disgusting from the last book.

Angel, Isabel and Chris are all along too and I call bullshit a second time in just a few pages. I realize that Davidson needed to get the gang back together so she could call this a sequel, but there's no way every single one of them would be in the ski club. They are very different people with very different interests and Nathan doesn't even ski. Plus, other than the addition of a new guy named Will, they seem to be the ONLY people in this ski club. That makes no sense whatsoever. Other kids must love to ski too. Other kids would be in the club JUST to go on this trip. I knew a lot of kids in high school that picked which clubs to join based on whether overnight trips were part of the bargain. Kids love overnight trips. They think they'll get to have sex on them. That's how high school minds work. (Odds of them actually having sex on a high school trip: 0%)  There's no way they'd be the only members of the ski club . AND I seriously doubt that they'd all even choose to go back to a place where their friend died and two of them were seriously injured. 

While we're on this, why did Davidson throw in ONE new group member?  Will just gets jammed into the original group which is.....suspicious, no?

Odds of Will being the bad guy: 80%.

I should review the people I guess. Angel was that weird goth chick who talked to her skull necklace and chanted a lot. Isabel was the Native American who carried a knife and knew all the legends. Chris is the African American football player with a steroid problem. Nathan was the giant douche with a chip on his shoulder because he's poor and his dad's a drunk. Jeff is........rich. I can't remember anything else about him except that he was a dick. And Kelly's just awful and thinks the world revolves around her because she has curly red hair and she can do plays (which gets mentioned at least half a dozen times despite there being no actual play in this book). Oh, and Paula. She was the bad guy and is now locked up in a mental hospital. There we go.  {dusts hands off}  Reviewed.

Angel has abandoned her goth ways and has now bleached her hair silver and dresses like an angel. Well, that's.....better?? Kelly says the “new” Angel is creepier than the “old” one. Chris is now off steroids and less angry. Isabel is one of Kelly's closest friends now. It doesn't mention any personal growth for Nathan, Kelly or Jeff which isn't entirely surprising.

The chapter is ending and Davidson must REALLY look up to Stine because we get a cliffy!!!! They walk into the cabin to find Frank holding two strangers at knifepoint.

Turns out the strangers, who are teenagers by the way, had broken into the cabin and Frank thought holding them at knifepoint was the best way to handle the situation. The taller boy introduces himself as Troy and tells them that he and his friend Jeremy are staying in another cabin with their ski club. After lunch at the snack bar.........

Wait a cotton-picking minute. When we were at Deep Creek Lake just one book ago, they went on and on about how isolated it was. How the nearest neighbor was a ten mile walk or something and how there was nothing else around. Now there's a snack bar? And other cabins? And Jeff mentioned something about going to eat at a pizza place. Where the actual fuck did all this stuff come from? Did it just pop up over the course of the year? (Note from future me: Kelly mentions skiing there with Brian when they were ten so no, no it did not.  Davidson just completely rewrote her own history to make it fit her purposes for this book.  And it wasn't even necessary because there's no real reason this book had to be set at Deep Creek Lake.  The lake played no actual part in the book and sequels take place in different locations from the originals all the damn time.) Glurg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway. Back to the story Troy is spinning..... Troy and Jeremy ate at the snack bar earlier that day and Jeremy's prescription ski goggles were stolen. They decided to do an inspection of all the other cabins to try to find them. Annette sends the group off to search their rooms to see if Troy and Jeremy had stolen anything. Everything seems to be accounted for. She gets the information from the boys about where they're staying and who their chaperone is and then she lets them go.

The next morning, Jeff and Kelly are standing at the top of the mountain. There are three trails down. One to the right for beginners, a black diamond trail to the left for very good skiers and a double black diamond trail down the middle for experts. Jeff has only been rated for beginner or intermediate trails while Kelly is rated for black diamond. Jeff apologizes for relentlessly pushing Kelly to go on this trip and then tells her she should ski the black diamond path as a tribute to Brian because that makes sense I guess?  Instead, Kelly decides to do the double black diamond which she hasn't been cleared to do. Because....Kelly thinks she's the best at everything in the world. Jeff is going to do the beginner trail and then they're both going to meet back at the top after.

Things are going fine at first. Kelly can see the people on the other two trails alongside her. 

Which means.....they're going in the same direction and shouldn't the trails all be the same then? If they are alongside her, they aren't going at a different angle or anything. This confuses me but I guess I just have to let it go. 

Kelly sees a girl on the beginner path who looks so familiar that she forgets she's on a double black diamond that exists completely parallel to the beginner slope and she crashes into a snow bank.

Troy and Jeremy are going down the beginner slope and they casually ski over to see if she's okay. Because the trails are merely separated by a row of trees and SEEM TO BE ON THE SAME SLOPE. They literally just skied over. WHY IS ONE A BEGINNER AND ONE A DOUBLE BLACK DIAMOND IF THEY ARE THE SAME???????? Instead of being helpful, Troy just pretty much mocks her for crashing. He tells her she should be on the beginner path instead. Which is just a yard away from where she is and THE EXACT SAME. She gets pissed at him. Boys, amirite? Such dicks.

Troy challenges Kelly to a flirty race. Kelly doesn't think he can make it because he has rented skis and clearly that means he's not a good skier. Kelly's nose is so high in the air I think she can snort the clouds. Troy assures her that he'll be fine and then proceeds to ski her ass into the ground. She's astonished and amazed that someone who can't afford to buy expensive ski equipment can actually ski. Kelly is just the worst.

They go to have sodas together because Kelly's obviously forgotten she has a boyfriend named Jeff who is waiting for her at the top of the mountain. Troy asks why she crashed and she tells him she thought she recognized the girl in the red ski suit as Paula who killed her best friend Brian. Wow, that's a lot of info to give a complete stranger. Troy seems unduly interested in Paula. I hope he's not going to turn out to be her brother or cousin or the guy she used to eat lunch with in the mental hospital or something. That trope's been done to absolute death. 

Odds of Troy being somehow connected to Paula: 50%

Kelly says she needs some air and she walks down to Deep Creek Lake. Troy follows her because she's just so compelling that he can't stay away. The chapter is ending so, naturally, they see the girl in the red ski suit walking across the frozen lake spreading flowers out on the icy surface.

Kelly rushes to confront the girl and, to her surprise, it IS Paula. Paula says she's all better now. It was hard to work through the trauma of what happened to Brian and what she did in her grief-stricken state but now she's well so they let her go.

Bullshit x 3. It doesn't work that way. She wasn't found “not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect”. She was found “not competent to stand trial”. Huge difference. IF she truly did have her competency restored, then she would be transferred back to a holding facility to face trial for her crimes. She wouldn't just get released because she's “better”.

I wonder what bullshit number we'll reach? I've never called bullshit three times in 30 pages before. This is a new record for us.

Paula says the counselors told her she was cured but they encouraged her to return to the scene of her crimes to tell Brian she's sorry for what happened to him. Yeah. No. No no no. No.

Kelly immediately believes her and asks her to come back to the cabin with her to have supper.

Huh?

What is this crap Davidson is trying to sell us, y'all?

Kelly, Troy and Paula head back to the cabin. Jeff is waiting on the front porch and he goes through a range of emotions. Jealousy because Kelly is with Troy. Anger because Kelly left him waiting on the top of the mountain for hours. Shock because Paula is with them. He pulls Kelly aside, angry that she ditched him for Troy. Kelly huffs at him and makes him feel unreasonable for being mad at her. She says there was nothing wrong with her getting a soda with Troy and she can't believe how jealous Jeff's being. Sorry? You totally stood him up and left him standing on top of a cold mountain for hours and YOU'RE the injured party?

I still hate Kelly.

Paula has a smooth reintroduction to the others. Even Nathan, who she gutted and left for dead, seems okay with her being there.

I've sprained both eyeballs from rolling them so hard, y'all.

Will seems particularly taken with her. As the two of them go off to do dishes together, Jeff comments that someone should probably fill Will in on Paula's history. He doesn't buy the fact that she's “cured” because he might be a dick but he's not an idiot. Kelly instantly admonishes him for his reasonableness and says that if anyone needs warned it's Paula because Will is a womanizer.

Yeah. That's worse than gutting someone and leaving them for dead.

That evening everyone but Nathan and the chaperones hit the mountains for some night skiing. They have lights on some of the trails or something. Kelly and Jeff start out together but Jeff keeps obsessing about Troy in his mind. It causes him to “show off” a little to try to impress Kelly but he just ends up crashing. She stops to wait for him but he's irritated now and tells her to go ahead. He sees Chris and Isabel headed down and figures he can just meet up with them. While he's waiting, he catches sight of Will and Paula kissing on a snowmobile.

By the time Chris and Isabel reach him, Jeff can tell that they've been arguing. Chris just blazes by but Isabel stops. She tells Jeff that she's really concerned about Kelly. Kelly hasn't been eating well since Brian died and she's now only about 90 pounds.

Jeff shook his head. “You must be wrong. That's awful low.”

“Of course it is. Kelly's five-seven, a lot taller than I am. We both have a medium bone structure. She should weigh more than that......”

It's Isabel's third sentence that just clunks to the floor with jarring clang. Who talks like that?

Also....real talk here. Kelly is described as barely eating and losing an enormous amount of weight. Isabel describes her as a frail and sickly 90 pounds. But a chapter ago, Davidson had her pulling off impressive ski moves and almost winning a race down a mountain. Those two girls are not the same girl. If she were sickly and frail as Isabel describes, she would not have the endurance or strength to ski as she's described as skiing. Davidson can't have it both ways. If she wants to write the eating disorder story, then she needs to do it justice and be true to what Kelly would be experiencing. If she wants to write Kelly as the hotshot on the slopes, then she needs to give the girl some carbs and protein. Pick a lane, Davidson.

Isabel thinks Kelly is in danger and needs to see a doctor right away. Again, I say she wouldn't be able to ski for hours a day if her health was that dire, but Davidson doesn't Science. Jeff says he'll talk to her. I don't predict this will go well but I can't even figure out what the hell it has to do with this story in the first place.

We hop into Troy's head. He tells us he's been watching Kelly's group for days. He originally targeted Nathan for whatever stupid plot device Davidson is calling a red herring at the moment but decided Nathan was small potatoes. He's spying on Kelly and Angel when they spot him because he's just awful at spying. Angel comes walking over and invites him to go skiing with her. He tells her he's too tired and she starts spouting nonsense about how she's a real angel and she'll protect him from getting hurt.

Oy.

We hop into Paula's head. She's separated from Will and has returned to the cabin where I guess she's going to be staying???

I call bullshit a 4^th time in 40-some pages. No. No, Davidson. The chaperone would NEVER let her stay there with her history of gutting and braining people. There's no way this would happen. Ever.

I don't think I've ever called bullshit 4 times at all, let alone in the first third of the book. This is awful.

Anyway, the chaperone's car is gone and Paula concludes that they've gone off to have some privacy. She searches the entire cabin and no one else is there. She goes to the kitchen to have a celebratory soda, thinking the caffeine will help keep her awake so she can do what she came there to do. Whatever that is. She's successfully escaped from the mental hospital (at least Davidson knows what found incompetent to stand trial actually means - I had my doubts) and now she's ready for some fun.

There's a scraping noise from the back of the cabin and Paula remembers hearing that someone had broken into the cabin earlier. 

DAVIDSON. 

She didn't fucking hear about it. She was fucking there! You forgot where your own damn character was again! Didn't we go over this in the last book? Glurg. She goes to investigate and finds the window open in the boys' room. This doesn't seem to phase her a bit. She simply closes it and heads out of the room.

On the way out, she trips over the corner of a suitcase that's sticking out from under one of the beds. When she pushes it back with her foot, she hears something RATTLE. Rattle is the word Davidson used.

Things that rattle: pills in a bottle, peanuts in a jar, beads in a box, maracas, baby toys, marbles.

Paula is afraid she broke something so she decides to open the suitcase and check it out. She finds a gun.

Things that DON'T FUCKING RATTLE: guns.

She takes the gun and considers what to do. The counselor at her former residence always told her to talk things over with another person when she's unsure what to do. So she decides to find someone to talk to about the gun. Before she can leave the room, someone comes in. Davidson does that annoying thing authors do when they don't want to reveal the gender of the person. Paula says “Oh, it's you” which is exactly what everyone in a horror movie says right before they die. The other person is referred to as “the gun's owner” which is just dumb.

There's a circular conversation where the gun's owner tells Paula that she can't continue to live because she might talk to someone and reveal something.....about something. I guess. It makes no sense since she doesn't know anything about anybody. A knife is produced and Paula is allowed to “softly die” on the floor. Whatever the fecking hell that means.

So what do you think, y'all. Should we run some odds?

Odds of Jeff being the killer: 15%. He's a dick, but I don't see it.

Odds of Chris being the killer: 10%. Davidson always makes him too obvious.

Odds of Will being the killer: 75%.  He's the only new character shoved into the original teen group which is suspicious.

Odds of Nathan being the killer: 75%. I give him high odds because Paula gutted him last book.  That tends to make people angry.

Odds of Frank being the killer: 10%. Too obvious given the knife incident earlier.

Odds of Troy being the killer: 35%. He's unknown but also too obvious.

Odds of Angel being the killer: 20%. She's an angel and they rarely kill.

Odds of Isabel being the killer: 2%. She's not even on my radar.

Odds of Annette being the killer: 25%. I don't believe she didn't know about Brian's death which makes her picking the location suspicious.

Odds of Kelly being the killer: 75%. She might have avenged Brian. And I hate her.

Is that everyone? I guess I forgot Jeremy but he seems like a non-entity in this book. I think that's everyone. There's a lot of fecking people in this book. TOO MANY CHARACTERS, DAVIDSON.

We hop into Kelly's head as she walks back to the cabin with Jeff. She can tell something's on his mind so she asks him. He tells her he's worried about her eating habits and it goes about as well as I predicted. She gets mad and then he tries to tell her about “these diseases called eating disorders”. 

Davidson + writing = glurg.

Then this happens and I am....just going to leave it right here.

He seemed to think for a minute. “You're not afraid of getting fat, are you? I mean, for acting in the plays or because of me.”

She hadn't worried about that in a long time, but it made no difference. She didn't want to talk about it, especially not with Jeff, because if he was talking about what she thought he was talking about – anorexia – she was totally grossed out and she expected he was too. How could he love someone who intentionally starved herself?

Y'all. 

Sigh.

Part of  having an eating disorder is experiencing some degree of dysfunctional thinking. It IS perfectly reasonable to have Kelly think this way about herself if she does, indeed, have an eating disorder.  BUT Davidson repeatedly tells us that she doesn't.  That she's simply too depressed or upset to eat.   So what we have here is an author having a character refer to people with eating disorders as "gross" and "unlovable".  These statements are never contradicted anywhere in the rest of the book and they lay there as fact.  Which is disgusting.  I currently have three beautiful, strong women in my life who have struggled with anorexia.  Two of them are recovered and one of them is still struggling.  They are a lot of things....wonderful, loving, positive things....but they are NOT gross and unlovable.  Their worth has NEVER been dependent on what they put into their mouths.  So I have this to say to Davidson.....

Before they go inside, Nathan, Chris and Isabel join them. Then they see Frank, Angel and Will unloading groceries. Oh, goody, the gang's all conveniently here. Well, except for Annette who is apparently skiing so that she'll look adequately suspicious. Davidson sinks further into the pit of disgusting-ness by having her characters be amazed that Frank can unload groceries “even though he's in a wheelchair”.

Because being in a wheelchair obviously means you can't do everyday tasks.

Fucking hell.

I cannot even with this "blossoming witch". The last book was just full of racism that I kept hoping was accidental and a result of her trying too hard to diversify her “cast”. After reading this, I'm now convinced she's just an extremely awful person.

They go in and discover the body. Nathan suspects Frank. Jeff thinks Paula killed herself. They're all generally awful and I hate everybody.

I have 150 pages to go in this effing book and I don't think I'm going to survive it.

It's been awhile since I quit the blog. Maybe I can quit the blog. I should quit the blog.

My manager has informed me that I can't quit the blog. Some things never change.

Remember that episode of Friends when Chandler wants to quit the gym and people keep talking him out of it so he's just screaming “I want to quit the gym” over and over? Yeah. I feel like that.

Seriously. This book is awful.

So now the place is conveniently hooked up to telephones, because even Davidson doesn't give a crap what she told us in the last book, and they are able to call the police.  The police come. The teens are all crying or in shock. Frank and Annette are shouting at each other in the kitchen. It's quite a scene.

After the body is removed and the forensic people have done their thing, Officer Margaret Shellborn and Officer Lawrence Baxter come to get statements. Kelly makes sure to note her disappointment that Officer Margaret isn't as gorgeous as the female police officers on TV. Because that's what makes a good cop. They start questioning the group together but it quickly turns into chaos as everyone tries to account for their whereabouts and the whereabouts of others. Finally Officer Margaret says they'll use the girls' bedroom to talk to everyone separately.

Frank and Annette are questioned first.....which doesn't sound very SEPARATE, Davidson.....and the teens just sort of hang around and snap at each other. Isabel decides to eat her feelings and starts with ice cream. She and Kelly snap at each other about their respective eating habits. Nathan and Angel snap at each other on the subject of murder vs suicide. Then they all make fun of Nathan for being afraid of Paula.

You know the girl that GUTTED HIM AND LEFT HIM FOR DEAD. Why should he be afraid of her? What is he, some kind of baby? Seriously, Nathan, get your ish together. Geez.

They're awful. Awful, horrible people and I wish they'd all just ski away never to be seen or heard from again.

I WANT TO QUIT THE BLOG!

Solidarity, Chandler. {{fist bump}}

Nathan thinks Paula got what she deserved which is a REASONABLE reaction to the situation. Paula tried to kill him. He suffered tremendous pain at her hands. She basically got away with it. It's not at all surprising that he has this reaction. But Kelly screams at him that he's “a heartless creep” and decides she needs to go outside to get some air before she strangles him. I could argue that, of the two of them, KELLY is the one who is being heartless here. Nathan's fear of Paula is justified. His feeling of delayed justice is justified. His relief that Paula can never hurt him again is justified. You know what's not justified? Feeling like you want to strangle another human being simply because they said something you disagree with.

Oh, and Kelly? I really doubt you're supposed to leave before the police talk to you.

Kelly stomps off into the woods because she's an idiot and thinks this is a good idea at 4am when someone just got stabbed. Troy ends up catching up with her and she never once asks what he's doing out there at that time of night and how he just happened to find her in the vast wooded area. She tells him about Paula and the police and mentions that Nathan told the cops about Troy and Jeremy breaking into the cabin earlier. I swear it was Frank that did that, but I accept that I might be remembering it wrong. (Blogger's Note: Nope. I went back and looked. Will first mentioned that the two guys had been at the cabin and FRANK told the cops they had broken in. Kelly is either lying on purpose to get Nathan in trouble because she's pissed at him or Davidson completely forgot what she just wrote. Which has happened often enough that I'm leaning toward that.)

Troy walks Kelly back to the cabin because he thinks she shouldn't be out there alone.

We hop back into Jeff's head and a little into the past. I hate it when that happens. Jeff feels like a suspect. The cops tried to get him to confess to killing Paula in revenge for her hitting Kelly over the head. Kelly has been gone for a long time and he's worried about her but not actually worried enough to go looking for her. He's just staring out the window. The cops finish with everyone and say they'll be back for Kelly. Davidson tells us that the boys sleep in the den that night since their room is a crime scene. THEN she tells us that Kelly shows up with Troy.

So.

Was Kelly out in the snowy woods all night?

Well, it was 4 am or so when she left but if the boys slept, it must be hours later. She was just out there in the snow all that time? And she didn't freeze to death?

Wow. Kelly has superpowers, y'all.

Or a really good coat.

Jeff is annoyed that Troy is with her again. They argue and Kelly stomps off to her room where she stays for the rest of the day.

We're told Jeff wakes up before six the next morning. He's making breakfast when the police pull up wanting to talk to Kelly. Y'all, at this point it's been TWO DAYS since Paula died. Jeff tells us he's slept on the floor of the den for two days so I know this is fact and not just my bungled interpretation of the timeline. However when the police show up, suddenly it's only been ONE DAY since Paula died. Keep up with your own damn timeline, Davidson. Your mistakes and plot holes exhaust me.

Jeff sasses the police a bit, which is always a good idea, because he doesn't want to wake precious Kelly up. He tells them that Kelly can't add anything that the rest of them haven't already said and Officer Lawrence says something that makes him think Kelly is a suspect. Which is just....I hope she's the bad guy, y'all. I really do.

Odds of Kelly being the killer: probably 0% since I really want her to be.

They question Kelly out on the front porch for “privacy”. They seem particularly interested in her feelings about Paula being semi-responsible for Brian's death and how Kelly has been mourning. She gets mad at their blatant suspicion and yells that maybe Troy was responsible. Both officers stiffen at the name and Officer Margaret says that he's “clean”. Kelly is mad that they aren't taking Troy seriously as a suspect.

Odds of Troy working for the police: 95%

The officers ask to talk to Annette so Kelly goes inside to get her. Kelly and Jeff hang out in the kitchen while Annette talks to the officers on the porch. When she comes back in she tells them that they can't go home the next day as planned. The police have asked them to stay until some things can be cleared up. Kelly is their main suspect.

Is anyone still reading this recap? Does anyone still care?

In the middle of the chapter we get treated to a brief stint in the bad guy's head. Hooray. He's calling his contact (Mr X) to tell him that the next shipment will be delayed because a girl was killed and the mountain is full of cops. Because two cops apparently a mountain full make. Mr X asks about the murder and Bad Guy tells him that one of her friends is suspected but in reality it was him because he didn't want his secret discovered.

Sigh. Odds of Kelly being the bad guy: definitely 0%. Told ya so.

The rest of the chapter is our cast accusing each other of murder and then running off to play Scooby Doo.

Angel and Kelly go to the lodge. First Kelly calls Paula's mother to ask if Paula had problems with any of the doctors or patients at the mental hospital. When that leads nowhere, Kelly sets out to find out if Paula took a bus to the mountain. The company won't give her the information over the phone so Angel impersonates Officer Margaret. They find out that Paula indeed took the bus. I don't know exactly why this mattered but okay.

Everyone meets back at the cabin to discuss what they discovered. Turns out they discovered nothing. The police show back up to tell Kelly that they've had an anonymous tip that she was seen around the cabin at the time of the murder. They tell her that she'll need to come down to the station for questioning. Everyone protests, but Kelly goes for her jacket. Her fanny pack (yes, you read that right) falls on the floor and the contents spill out. There's a note.

This note demonstrates the level of skill that Davidson writes with, so I'm going to quote it out for you.

“Dear Paula, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. Too bad you showed up. After what you did to Brian, I can't believe you had the nerve to come back here. The problem is, since they didn't punish you, I will have to. You deserve to die and everyone knows it. Your One-Time Friend, Kelly.”

You see the crap I read for you guys? I think a third grader is capable of crafting a better paragraph than that.

The cops take this as proof that she premeditated the killing and they arrest her.

As soon as they are out of sight of the cabin, they stop the car and tell Kelly that the arrest was only for show. They are pretty sure that she didn't kill Paula but someone is trying hard to frame her and they think it might be related to another case they've been working on. Of course, the other case involves drugs because Davidson wants us to suspect Nathan or Chris. At any rate, Officer Margaret wants to pretend to arrest her and book her and make her do a couple of “perp walks” so the bad guy will think he's in the clear and make a mistake.

There's a weird little reference in there about the police having Kelly followed as she skied and it's pretty fucking clear the person following her was Troy but Kelly's too dumb to figure it out and the police aren't naming names.

Odds of Troy working for the police: 99%

The plan requires Kelly to stay in a jail cell for two days but Officer Margaret brings her some magazines and puzzles. Kelly wants to tell Jeff that she's not a murderer but Officer Margaret won't let her do anything that might jeopardize the drug case or put the life of the undercover cop (::cough::Troy::cough::) in danger.

The days pass and the police are no closer to finding the killer/drug lord. They have no choice but to release Kelly. They assure her that she'll be watched over and nothing will happen to her. Kelly returns to the cabin where everyone else is gathered. She makes a statement that she's innocent and the police had to release her because they don't have any evidence to prove otherwise.

They pump her for info about who the police suspect now and she gives them carefully crafted answers. Everyone scatters but Will hangs back to talk to Kelly. He tells her that she can come to him if she's scared or worried about anything. From this, she deduces that he's the undercover officer and her sworn protector.

Odds of Will working for the police: 20%

Odds of Will being the bad guy: 80%

After lunch they all go skiing. Annette gives them their new slope assignments based on her observations of their skiing the last few days. Not like it matters when the beginners slope and the double black diamond are on the same slope right next to each other. During one of the runs, a snowmobile tries to run over Kelly but she outsmarts him by doing an Olympic caliber jump because of course she does. Kelly has superpowers!!

Kelly and Jeff head for the snack bar. Jeff gets in line for the food so Kelly grabs a table. Jeremy and Troy come up and sit with her. Troy realizes he forgot napkins and leaves the table to get them. Kelly tries to make conversation with the introverted Jeremy. She asks him how skiing has been. He says he took a beginner's class at Troy's urging. He also mentions that Troy was over by the snowmobile rental place at one point that afternoon. Kelly naturally suspects him and races off to call Officer Margaret.

Seriously?

Odds of Troy being the bad guy: < 2%

Odds of Troy working for the police: > 98%

Getting a fucking clue, Kelly.

Troy prevents her from calling the police station which only makes her suspect him more. He says he saw the incident with the snowmobile and the reason he was at the rental shack was to find out who might have rented it to kill Kelly. She doesn't believe him so he blows his cover and reveals himself as the undercover cop. Then he goes to elaborate measures to prove it by having her call a number and request that they page Officer Chase. His pager goes off and he calls the number back and asks the person who answers to identify him to Kelly.

Hmmm.

Well, this is problematic.

If this were anyone but Davidson, I might adjust my odds on Troy being the undercover officer. He should NOT have blown his cover and that whole phone tag thing really screamed set up. But I honestly don't think Davidson is a good enough author to think up that ruse. So I'll leave it at it's previous standing but now I have to do this.

I call bullshit. Is this really number 5? I lost count. If he's deep undercover working on an important drug bust he would NEVER have blown his cover. Ever. That's not how these things work, Davidson.

Not only does he blow his cover, he gives her details about their ENTIRE investigation. AND asks her to help him find out more about her friends so he can tell which one of them is dealing drugs. They seem to hone in on Will or Frank.

Problematic.

Jeff naturally sees Kelly and Troy talking again and jumps to about 17 erroneous conclusions. When Kelly finally rejoins him, he accuses her of cheating on him and breaks up with her.

That night, after midnight, Kelly hears a strange noise in the cabin. Everyone else is asleep and she's a complete idiot so she goes to investigate alone. She sees Frank wheeling into the woods and wonders where he's going. She decides to follow him. He leads the way to some boxes that the ski patrol use to store sand. Frank starts sifting through it while Kelly watches. She's convinced he's the killer and he's looking for drugs, so she does what any of us would do in that situation.

Nah, I'm kidding. LOLZ

Most of us would run for a phone or Troy and report this. Kelly decides to confront him and accuse him of murdering Paula.

She digs through the box to find her proof and uncovers guns instead of drugs. Will comes up then and she's relieved that the cavalry has arrived.

Odds of Will being the cavalry: -5 million%

Odds of Kelly being an idiot: +5 million%

Will laughs at her and says the guns belong to friends of his. Frank tells her to run for help but Will pulls a gun. Will says nothing more but Kelly does his bad guy monologue for him. Somehow she's concluded that he's been running guns up and down the I-95 corridor. How does she come to this conclusion you ask? I have no fucking clue. She just tells him that she knows he uses his womanizing status as a smoke screen. When he leaves a party with a girl, he is actually driving around delivering guns. He uses I-95 to go quickly up and down the East Coast.

Okay.

There is literally no basis for this information. None. No one has EVER mentioned anything about a known gun-running operation up and down I-95. No one has ever mentioned a gun-running operation AT ALL. But SOMEHOW Kelly just KNOWS this is what's happening.

Kelly has superpowers!!

Oh, and Frank isn't in on it. He saw Will messing around with the boxes earlier in the day and suspected him of hiding drugs and alcohol. Frank's innocent. Will's plan is to kill them both and frame Frank for it. I'm okay with this. {{shrug}}  Carry on, Will.

We hop into Troy's head. He'd been watching Kelly's cabin but fell asleep. Jeremy accidentally wakes him up and Troy panics. He runs to Kelly's cabin and shines a light in her window. Her bed is empty. He decides to check the cabin. The front door is unlocked so he goes in. Jeff immediately tackles him to the ground. There's a lot of stupidity but Troy eventually identifies himself. They determine that Will, Frank and Kelly are missing. Troy tells Angel to go to his cabin and call 911 to report Officer Chase is in need of backup. Then he and Jeff take off after Kelly.

Jeff spots her I think. Maybe it was Troy. I so don't care at this point. Troy is torn between waiting for backup and going on in. Of course he's going to decide to go on in because that's what the cops always decide to do in popular culture (and not so much in real life).

The big action scene is upon us. Will moves to stab Kelly. Frank throws himself between them and gets stabbed instead. Troy bursts out of the trees. Will aims a gun at Troy. Kelly throws a knife at Will. Will accidentally shoots himself in the foot. Day is saved.

The next chapter opens in the police station. At some point between pages 182 and 183, Troy and Angel have become a couple. Kelly wonders if he'll take Angel to prom and this leads to two VERY clunky paragraphs about how sad Kelly is that schools have changed since she was a kid and how sad it is that they need extra security because of guys like Will running guns.

Glurg.

Also, Kelly's dad and Officer Margaret are a thing too. Kelly's okay with that.

It's Officer Margaret I feel sorry for.

The End.

Final Thoughts: This book reminded me how much I hate sequels. It never fails, that in a series of books or movies or whatever, the second installment is always the worst. I don't know why that is but it holds up for me. I usually like the third book/movie much better. But...please tell me there's not a third book. This is the last one, right? I'll blow the blog up before I read another one of these. If my manager thinks Vampire III or whatever it's called is the only book that can end the blog, let me assure her that Crash Whatever III will do the job nicely as well.