Sunday, May 7, 2017

Don't Stay Up Late (Fear Street Relaunch #2) by R. L. Stine

**This blog contains adult language.  And random yelling.  A lot of random yelling.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/Carol is.

Tag Line: In the dead of night, the evil one awaits.

From the Back of the Book:  In the small town of Shadyside, don't stay up late - because horrible things happen in the dead of night.....  Lisa Brooks is plagued with nightmares and hallucinations.  Could they be caused by the horrifying accident that landed her in the hospital for weeks?  When Lisa finds out that a woman on Fear Street is looking for a babysitter, she jumps at the chance to keep busy and take her mind of her troubling thoughts.  Her friends are concerned: "Do you really want to work on Fear Street?"  But Lisa isn't superstitious.  Besides, the little boy in her care is charming, delightful, and beautiful.  She isn't even worried when the mother gives her strict instructions: "Don't let him stay up late."  Lisa is happy in the new job.  She knows she's on the road to recovery.  But then the murders start - and her friends begin dying one by one.  Are Lisa's nightmares coming true?

This book was published in 2015 as part of a Fear Street Relaunch.

My manager is going to kill me dead when she finds out I started recapping this book while I'm supposed to be recapping “The Band”. In my defense, I got this one from the library which means it will have to be returned soon and....priorities. I had NO IDEA Fear Street had a relaunch. How did I miss this? Are there more? I hope there were more. I LOVE Fear Street. (Note from future me: Seeing my excitement to read this book physically hurts.  I feel so bad for the past me.  She was so hopeful.)

So ima do this and hope she doesn't notice what's going on. I'll have to make a big show of recapping The Band while she's around to see and then sneak this one in at night while she's in bed. Shhhhhh.

We begin with our protagonist Lisa Brooks. In the first sentence she tells us she's a twisted psycho and now I'm pretty sure we can't believe a single thing she says for the rest of the book. If she isn't a twisted psycho, then she just lied to us in her first sentence. If she is, well, then there's a whole new set of issues regarding her reliability.

Lisa's family moved to Shadyside back in February (which isn't helpful frame of reference since we don't know what month it is now) and she felt invisible until around April. By then she has a best friend (Saralynn O'Brien) and a boyfriend (Nate Goodman). She met him when she knocked him down a flight of stairs because she had her eyes glued to her cell. Ah, modern romance. Lisa had heard about Nate prior this “meeting” from Saralynn who I am going to call SL from now on because her name is too damn long. SL and Nate grew up on the same block.

Things Lisa knows about Nate: he is tall, he likes horror movies, he reads Edgar Allan Poe and he rolls down the stairs well.

After the stair incident, Nate and Lisa became inseparable. They doubled a lot with SL and Nate's friend Isaac Brenner. It was after one such date – on April 12 – that the “accident” happened and Lisa began her descent into lunacy (Stine's word, not mine).

We ended Chapter One without a jump scare. I'm wildly disappointed.

On that fateful night, SL, Isaac, Nate and Lisa all went out for cheeseburgers. They talked about the “bad day at school” the day before when 12 kids had to be rushed to the ER after getting violently ill in the cafeteria. SL says that they all ate the Mac and Cheese but no one knows if that's what caused the puke-fest. Lisa wants to change the subject because she doesn't think it's good dinner conversation and she's feeling a bit queasy. The group has a tradition where they pile their cell phones on the table at the start of the meal and the owner of the first one that rings has to pick up the check. Lisa usually loses because of her helicopter parents.

Isaac has a band called The Black Holes that's supposed to be Metallica-esque but mostly just sucks. He's worried because they have a gig coming up that they aren't prepared for at all.

SL has to do a movie for film class and she proposes that they make a horror movie in Nate's attic. Nate is excited about the idea, naturally, and Isaac says he'll bring the blood which is alarming to think about. Lisa isn't as enthusiastic. She says she'll do it but she doesn't really get the appeal of scaring yourself on purpose.

Lisa reveals that she sneaked out of the house. Her parents think she's in her room writing out thank you notes for her Sweet 16 presents. Isaac says he wishes his parents cared about him enough to notice where the hell he is at any given time. They care more about golfing at the Country Club than their own son.

If this recap seems choppy and kind of stream-of-consciousness it's because these damn kids can't stick to a subject for longer than it takes to apply chapstick.

Oh, man, I'm just two chapters in and I've already gotten caught recapping this book. I am SO not 007. The upside is that she has now given me permission so I no longer have to hide what I'm doing. Which is good since I sucked so epically at it.

The chapter ends as Lisa's dad shows up at the restaurant and busts her. He reminds her that she promised to stay home and orders her to leave with him immediately. She gives him a little lip at first and tells him she'll be home when she feels like it. Nate offers to drive her home after they eat, but her dad is having none of that. He says her mother and brother Morty are waiting out in the car and they're leaving now. Lisa leaves with him, throwing a small tantrum along the way and being very disrespectful to her father.

Okay, so Morty isn't her brother. At least I hope he's not. When she gets in the car, it says that Morty bounds across the seat toward her and gives her face a vigorous tongue bath. Which would be a pretty awkward thing for a brother to do so I'm going to guess that Morty is actually a dog. I just assumed brother because her dad said “Mom and Morty are in the car.” Oops. I imagine this story could take on a whole new meaning if we went on assuming that Morty was her brother.

You know what? We should totally do that. I'm just going to call him her brother from here on out.

Lisa tells us her brother likes to jump on her and slobber all over her face.

Yeah, this is awesome.

Things are tense in the car. Her mother tells Lisa how disappointed she is and that Lisa should stop acting like a child if she doesn't want to be treated like a child. Pretty standard parental lecture. I'm waiting for someone to say “While you live under my roof, you'll follow my rules.” Her dad is driving too fast and is distracted by giving her the whole “You broke our trust lecture.” Her mom keeps telling him to slow down because the roads are slick.

Gee. I wonder what's about to happen?

Neon Sign.

Her dad continues to drive erratically and run red lights. Sounds like an asshole with no respect for anyone else on the road. Suddenly Lisa screams that they have to go back because she left her phone on the table. Whether he was startled by her sudden screaming or he was, indeed, turning back for the phone, her dad jerks the wheel and then loses control of the car. Lisa sees his head snap forward against the steering wheel and hears the crack of his skull. She can see blood and then everything goes black.

She wakes up in a hospital bed. When she looks beside her, she can see her dad in the bed beside her and he has a steering wheel sticking out of his head.

Except. Not. Because it was just the end of a chapter (welcome back, Stine) and a hallucination brought on by a serious concussion. Her mom is there and Lisa asks if her dad is okay. Her mom says he isn't and Part One ends.

Part Two opens with Lisa at home. She spent a week in the hospital and is still plagued with weird hallucinations and nightmares. I hope this isn't going to be the kind of book where we get all the way to the end and this discover that it was all a stupid dream. Images of her father as she last saw him torment her. She dreams over and over that she's in the car and he's driving. Lights are too bright and she can never be too sure what's real and what isn't. Therefore, we aren't too sure either.

We learn that a psychiatrist named Dr Shein has taken over Lisa's case. She's forbidden Lisa to have any contact with her friends which seems shady as fuck to me but Lisa's mom says they have to follow her advice. Dr Shein seems to think that Lisa has to work through some of her grief and guilt before she can get back to her normal life. I think they should get a second opinion. Talking to her friends would probably help her deal with grief and guilt.

Naturally, the very next morning, we're told that Lisa has been messaging and facetiming with Nate since she came home and he's coming over to visit that day because fuck continuity. It doesn't exist in Stine land.

The visit doesn't go well. Lisa keeps getting angry with Nate because, while her life has changed forever, his has just kept going on as before. She wants to cuddle on his lap one moment, then she's yelling at him for being too optimistic the next. She balls her fists up in anger and screams that she killed her dad and then she's sobbing because she misses her brother. Morty ran away at the scene and has been gone for two weeks. I'm not saying this behavior is all that abnormal. It's normal for her to feel like her entire world has stopped while everyone else is still moving. It's normal for her to feel guilt regarding her role in the accident and her dad's death and it's normal to miss her brother. What's not normal is the way that Stine is WAY over-exaggerating all this normal-ness to make Lisa seem abnormal. He's turning her into a cartoon version of a human being.

That night, Lisa is awakened by the sound of a dog howling. She becomes convinced it's Morty. She rushes outside to follow the sound and ends up wandering the cold streets. Suddenly she sees him and she gives chase into the woods. Only it's not Morty. She tells us it's some kind of creature. A beast that has pig ears and sharp teeth at the end of a long snout and runs upright but not like a human. It reaches out to grab her as the chapter ends and then as the next chapter starts we learn it's her mother.

Lisa throws the words “crazy” and “lunatic” around like confetti for a few pages. She's alarmed at this new development but I'm not sure it IS one. She thinks she was somehow sleepwalking and having a nightmare at the same time but it seemed like one of her hallucinations to me. I don't know. Her mom is clearly upset to find her in the woods in the middle of the night and I'm wondering how it was even possible that she did? She says she looked everywhere but I'm wondering how she knew to look in the woods and how small the woods are that she was able to find Lisa out there in the dark? Is it like ten trees by a strip mall or something? Or are all the trees like knee-high? I'm spending too much time thinking about this, right?

Right.

The next morning, Lisa wants to walk over to Nate's to apologize before her counseling appointment. Her mom doesn't want her to go but Lisa insists that she'll never be normal again if she's not allowed to do normal things. Her mom sees the logic in this and lets her go. Lisa texts him to let him know she's n her way. It's only a three block walk and it's a beautiful day. Lisa is glad to be out of the house.

When she arrives at Nate's house, she hears voices from the backyard. She goes around that way and sees SL standing in the yard with her back to Lisa. Suddenly a bizarre green creature emerges from the shadows by the bushes. It has a weird round head and pointy teeth and scary hands. It's headed for SL and Lisa tries to scream but no sound comes out. The demon creature seems to sense her anyway, and it turns and rushes toward her. Stine ends the chapter by having the evil thing grab Lisa around the waist.

Of course it's just Nate in a monster mask. They are apparently filming SL's movie and Nate's in costume. But. Still. It was a real dick move on his part because he KNOWS she's on the way over and he KNOWS she's been having concussive hallucinations and they're freaking her out and he STILL grabbed her while wearing a monster mask. Dick. Move. What an asshole.

Lisa isn't amused and Isaac is annoyed that the shot is ruined. SL apologizes on behalf of Nate and he follows suit. Kind of. He tells her he got carried away because he likes being a demon so much and he thinks it's his true personality. Lisa reminds him that she's had a hard time with the hallucinations and then she apologizes for overreacting. Which she totally didn't do. It's was all Nate.  Dick move. Always and forever. They invite Lisa to come in and watch a movie and eat snacks but she has her appointment. She tells Nate she's sorry again and then she notices some weird looks between him and SL. She wonders if something might be going on with her boyfriend and her best friend.

Dr S is an eraser chewer. During her sessions, she completely chews the pink eraser off of a pencil. Lisa thinks it's weird and I have to agree. That cannot taste good. Lisa likes Dr S very much. She thinks the doc is compassionate and nonjudgmental and the only reason Lisa survived the last few weeks. But she's reluctant to talk about certain things because she's eager for Dr S to think she's getting better. Dr S keeps reminding Lisa that it's a process and at some point all of these symptoms will be gone and thinks will be better.

Lisa describes the “sleepwalking” incident and asks how to stop all these bad things from taking over her mind. Dr S tells her that she needs something else to occupy her. She tells Lisa to go back to school on Monday because getting back to her normal routine and being around her friends will help her. THANK YOU. I said that forever ago. Lisa asks if getting a job might help. Her mom can't work and they really need the money. I'm not sure why her mom can't work but okay. (Note from future me: it says later that she has a broken arm and she works at a salon so it makes sense.) Dr S thinks that would be okay too and asks what kind of job Lisa had before. Lisa says she used to babysit and Dr S not only thinks babysitting is a super idea, she gives Lisa the contact information of a friend who needs a sitter.

Really?

Let's just process this for a minute. Now, I'm not saying that Lisa is dangerous because she has a temporary issue due to trauma and concussion. BUT. But. She's having active hallucinations and she's flying off the handle at everyone with very little provocation. I don't think she needs to be solely responsible for a tiny human at this point. And I really don't think any reputable psychiatrist would recommend it. Dr S is a definite quack.

Lisa is mildly alarmed to see the address is on Fear Street and that ends Part Two.

When Part Three opens, Isaac is trying to keep her away from Fear Street. She stopped by his house after school to see his awful band rehearse and when he hears she's going to Fear Street for an interview he tells her the place is cursed and she needs to stay far, far away from it. Lisa dismisses him. She really needs the job and only someone on Fear Street who can't get any other babysitter on earth to apply for the job will hire a girl who is actively hallucinating and having horrendous mood swings to care for their tiny child.

Nate drives up to take Lisa to her interview and Isaac suddenly and unexpectedly plants a passionate kiss on her lips. Lisa is shocked that he would do that and dismayed that he did it where Nate probably saw him. Nate doesn't say a word when he walks up, though, so Lisa decides to ignore the kiss and pretend it never happened.

The drive to Fear Street is a little tense. Lisa tells Nate about Isaac's warning and Nate says it's hokum. The stories about Fear Street are made up and nothing will happen to her. She's nervous but decides she believes him over Isaac. Nate drops her off and tells her he'll be back for her after he picks his brother up from piano practice. I guess if she gets done early she'll just have to sit on the curb and wait.

Brenda Hart seems glad to see Lisa. She ushers her inside and Lisa notes that Brenda is pretty but dresses young for her age. She's also apparently addicted to gum. Brenda tells Lisa that three days a week she needs someone to pick up Harry at her sister Alice's house at 4:00. Harry's aunt homeschools him. Lisa will be required to help him with his homework, feed him dinner, play with him a bit and then send him to bed at 8:00. Brenda will be home around 10:00. So that's about 6 hours 3 times a week and Brenda is willing to pay $300 a week. That's $16 an hour. Wow. I never had a babysitting job like that.

Brenda assures Lisa that Harry is moody but very little trouble. I think if he is actually “very little trouble” Brenda wouldn't have to pay $16 an hour. Lisa asks to meet Harry and Brenda hesitates briefly. She's already put him to bed. Which is weird. Because it's barely evening, right? I mean she went to Isaac's right after school and was there for about one song worth and then Nate dropped her off at Brenda's. It's not even supper time, I don't think.

They go upstairs and Harry's room is dark. When Lisa sees him, she thinks he looks like a little angel. He tells her that he's been lying there making up movies in his mind and she is charmed. Brenda tells him that Lisa's the new sitter and he seems to be fine with that. He asks if Lisa will sing the “Eensy Weensy Spider” song to him and she protests that it's a baby song. Which is just mean. He replies that it's not if it refers to a real spider which she doesn't understand at all. Harry asks if he can stay up late and she tells him “we'll see” which is super uncool to do right in front of his mom who has told her what time bedtime is.

As the leave the room, Brenda whispers that Lisa must NEVER let Harry stay up late because it's not good for him.

Suddenly we're making out with Nate on the couch. I mean LISA is making out with Nate on the couch. It was all very abrupt. They get interrupted by a knock on the door and Isaac and SL come in. Isaac is pissed off and going on and on about his miserable band again. All but one of the members has quit and they have a gig in a few days. It's just him and the kid from across the street who is a REALLY bad drummer.

SL is fed UP TO HERE with him and his band so she asks Lisa how her first day back at school was. Lisa's mom comes in and says that she hopes Lisa didn't go back to soon. Lisa snaps at her and gets way more annoyed than the situation warrants. (SHOULD NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TINY HUMANS) Then her mom expresses worry about Lisa working on Fear Street and Lisa is super ugly to her about it. Her friends leave (can't blame them) and she goes upstairs to her room. The phone rings and she's surprised to hear Summer Lawson on the other end. They share a government class but haven't really ever had a conversation before. Summer hems and haws a bit and then tells Lisa that Lisa's in major trouble and she doesn't have a clue about Nate.

The next day, Lisa goes to pick up Harry from Alice's house. While he's collecting his homework, Alice pulls Lisa aside and reminds her not to let Harry stay up late. He's a beast when he doesn't get enough sleep and it's super important that the bedtime be firm. Lisa hears a tiny cry coming from the basement and is startled. Alice explains that it's her cat but Lisa thinks the sound was human.

The evening is easy except for Harry begging to stay up late every ten minutes. Despite his pleading, Lisa puts him to bed right on time. Not long after, Nate calls to check on her. She tells him about the call from Summer and he makes a joke of it. He tells her that Summer is crazy and a troublemaker and should not be listened to. They talk a little more and then hang up.

Lisa tries to do her homework but she dozes off. A sound from upstairs wakes her up. She goes to check on Harry and sees some were-creature run across the hall, into Harry's room. She follows it and it jumps out of the window. She realizes she's hallucinating again (SHOULD NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TINY HUMANS) and turns to see if she's woken up Harry.

His bed is empty.

Dun dun dun.

Lisa tries to convince herself that maybe the intruder was real. A person in a monster mask like the Nate-demon she saw the other day. She searches the house for Harry and finally finds him in the coat closet. He says a stranger came in his room so he ran and hid.

Or...you know...jumped out of his window in “beast” form and then returned to the house in human form. Just a theory.

Lisa takes Harry out of the closet and snuggles up with him on the couch. She tells him that he just had a nightmare even though that is a lie. He falls asleep on her lap and then she falls asleep soon after. Brenda wakes them up when she comes home. She looks ragged and tired. She doesn't admonish Lisa for not putting Harry to bed. She merely makes a comment that it looks like they've bonded and then she asks how the day went. Lisa decides not to tell her about the were-creature because she's afraid of losing the job she and her mother so desperately need.

Lisa goes home and tells her mom everything. Her mom begins to ask questions and Lisa quickly realizes she thinks that Lisa hallucinated the whole thing. She gets so angry that she violently swings her arms and ends up sending a lamp crashing to the floor. (SHOULD NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TINY HUMANS) Her mom thinks Lisa should quit and get some more help before taking on a job like that. Lisa screams at her mom, her mom screams back at her. Stine really likes to have people scream in this book. Eventually Lisa literally stomps up to her room and slams the door like a five-year-old. She calls Nate to tell him about the were-creature. He tells her to chill so she starts screeching that he doesn't believe her and he thinks she's crazy.

Maybe it's the screeching, Lisa. It tends to undermine your credibility. Plus, it makes you extremely hard to root for.

The next day (?) Lisa tells Dr S about the were-creature. Dr S suggests medication and Lisa does some more screeching. It's getting super old super fast.

At some point she comes home and finds her brother lying in front of the fireplace. There's lots of licking. He was picked up on the side of a highway and returned home. Good for Morty. I totally read this whole scene and then completely forgot to put it in the recap. Later I realized Morty was around and decided I needed to go back and try to put it in where it happened. It might have been here. It might have been earlier. Or later. But it happened so let's just try to accept it and move on.

The next thing we know, Lisa, SL and Nate are headed to the music club to listen to Isaac's horrible band. Nate has a fake ID and he's hoping to score a few drinks. I don't think he ever does though. They listen to Isaac's band and it's awful. Afterwards, Lisa heads toward the stage to....I don't know....I guess make sure Isaac knows they came. She gets separated from the others in the crowd. Before she reaches the stage, Summer grabs her arm and again tells Lisa that Nate is trouble. She disappears when Nate shows up and Stine just wraps up the chapter. Guess we'll always have to wonder if Nate got those beers.

It's Monday afternoon now and Lisa goes to pick up Harry from Alice's house. Alice pulls Lisa aside and tells her how much Harry seems to like her. Lisa considers confiding in Alice about the were-creature but decides against it. She's afraid Alice will just tell Brenda that Lisa's crazy. The evening goes okay although Harry manages to talk Lisa into letting him play his xbox without doing his homework. He plays some Candy Crush knockoff and after about an hour Lisa “demands” to know if he has any other games.  It comes off angry for no reason.  Nice attitude with a little kid, Lisa. (SHOULD NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TINY HUMANS)

The only notable thing that happens for several pages is that Lisa notices her phone is almost dead and she doesn't have a charger. I'm sure that won't be important later or anything.

NEON SIGN

Lisa gets Harry to bed without incident and settles in to do her homework. She's involved in some lesson about bees when her phone rings. The caller ID indicates that it's Summer on the other line. She doesn't answer and Summer doesn't leave a message. She goes back to the homework and we get a few SUPER fascinating paragraphs about bees and insects in general. Thanks, Stine, I always turn to you when I need to science.

Lisa hears a noise in the kitchen. It becomes clear pretty quickly that someone is in the house. She reaches for her phone to call 911 and........you'll NEVER guess what happens. Don't even try because you're not going to get it right. The phone is DEAD. Can you believe it? That was totally unexpected information. Oh noes.

Lisa forces herself to move toward the kitchen because she's a teenage girl in a horror book and that's just what they do. There's no use fighting it. It's just automatically going to happen. She's stunned to find Nate by the counter. He claims he rang the doorbell (oh, it must be broken!!!!) and so he went around back. Lisa immediately accuses him of trying to scare her and, honestly, this is the correct reaction this time. Why the hell would he break into the house and then creep silently through the kitchen if he wasn't trying to scare her? There's NO reasonable explanation for this behavior that I will possibly accept. He says he was just “checking on her”.

I'm not feeling Nate right now, y'all.

Before they can really talk, Harry cries out from upstairs and Lisa leaves to check on him. He heard voices and he got scared. She explains that her friend came over and tells him that he needs to get back to sleep because it's very late. He gets excited about that and asks if he's up late. It's an odd conversation. Lisa settles him back in and goes downstairs. She doesn't see Nate anywhere and assumes he left. I'm not sure I'd assume that, but whatever. I think she goes back to the bees but I really stopped caring awhile ago. Stine needs to end the chapter so he has her hear breathing in her ear.

There's a demon creature at the foot of the stairs.  Which is nowhere near her ear.  Which means nothing was breathing in her ear at all.  Stine's just lying to us now.  She describes it as having red eyes, green reptile skin on the face, sharp fangs and green pig ears. It's wearing clothes but she can see the furry legs and feet where the pants end. I have no idea what to call such a thing, so I'm going to call it Carol. She yells at Carol, asking it what it wants. It doesn't answer so she wonders if it speaks English.

She wonders if it speaks English.

Clearly she doesn't know that all Carols speak German.

If only she'd paid attention in her demonology class she would have known that and this communication problem could have been avoided.

Carol spits a big glob of green slime at her to express its displeasure at her ignorance. Lisa decides the best thing to do is charge at Carol like a linebacker. Carol evades and then runs across the ceiling. Lisa hears the kitchen door slam and assumes Carol is gone. She heads up to check on Harry but before she gets more than a few steps, she hears a female scream from outside. Worried that Brenda has returned home and been attacked by Carol, Lisa runs to the front door and throws it open.

No one's there.

She comes back inside and goes up to check on Harry. He's sound asleep in his bed. Brenda comes home soon after. She and Lisa are chatting when Harry suddenly appears on the stairs. He's proud of himself for being up so late. Brenda is not amused and reminds Lisa that he's supposed to be in bed early. Lisa says she put him to bed on time and just checked on him and he was asleep.  Harry gleefully explains that he was just faking.  Brenda sends Harry back up to bed. Lisa is about to tell Brenda about Carol when Nate pulls up and starts obnoxiously honking at 10:00pm to hurry her. I'm sure the neighbors love that. Is it too much to hope that one of them calls the police on this asshole?

Lisa goes outside and gets in his car. She notices immediately that his face is covered in scratches. He tells her he fell into a rosebush which is just......let's just call it what it is......bullshit. Before he can drive off, she sees something across the street by the curb. Nate doesn't want to go investigate but Lisa jumps out of the car and he reluctantly follows.

It's Summer. She's been savagely scratched and bitten. There's some gruesomeness that I'm uncomfortable recapping but suffice it to say, she's very, very dead.

Still not feeling Nate, y'all. I was sure up until now that Harry was Carol but now I'm wondering if Nate is Carol.

And now we've arrived at Part Four. Which sounds impressive but it's actually just the next morning.

Lisa and Nate are at the police station waiting to be interviewed. Her mom and his dad are also in attendance. Captain Rivera comes in to talk to them. He reveals that the teeth marks on Summer were human and parts of her were......let's say missing. It's nicer. He asks Lisa to tell him what she heard and saw the previous evening.

She starts with a very pared down version. She mentions being on the stairs when she heard a girl scream. She says she looked out the front door and didn't see anyone. Then she went up to check on Harry. All true.

Her mom interrupts and tells Lisa to tell the policeman about the “creature” she saw. Lisa tells him all about Carol appearing in the house, running across the ceiling and then leaving. She believes that Carol is the murderer. Rivera assumes it was a dream but Lisa's mother rushes to tell him about the concussion and the hallucinations. Rivera asks Nate if he saw Carol and Nate says he didn't. Rivera dismisses them but it's pretty clear that Lisa is now a suspect. He makes a comment about brain injuries being “frightening”.

I'm not entirely sure what her mom was trying to accomplish there. Was she TRYING to make Lisa a suspect? Because that's what she did. She not only threw her under the bus, she drove OVER her.

We get treated to several pages of Lisa wishing she had someone to talk to and being suspicious of everyone in her life. It's tedious.

Now we're back at school and Lisa is pulling Nate out of study hall so she can talk to him. They go out in the parking lot. Nate kisses her and she tells him no, she wants to talk, so naturally he holds her so she can't escape and kisses her more forcefully.

I can't, guys. This asshole. I want him to die.

She has to struggle to get away from him and I just want him to die. I'm so over him. So done. Lisa tells him she wants to talk about Carol. He replies that she's been seeing things since her accident and Carol is no exception. He reminds her that Dr S said that her subconscious is playing tricks on her. Lisa is alarmed. She never told him that, so how does he know?

She really has bigger issues with him than that. Like, for instance, that he hears the word NO and just goes ahead and does what he damn well pleases anyway. Who fucking cares if he's been spying on you or if Dr S is part of some were-creature coven that he's involved in or if he and Dr S are sleeping together? He doesn't understand the word NO and that's enough to cut him out of your life forever.

Nate turns things on her by asking her about kissing Isaac. She thinks it's oh-so-cute that he's jealous and now I just want to slap her. She gets back on topic by saying that she's afraid to go back to Brenda's house. Nate volunteers to accompany her on Friday (he can't on Wednesday). She doesn't think Brenda will like the idea, so he suggests that SL can join them too.

Suddenly Lisa catches sight of SL by the building. She wonders why SL is just hanging out over there watching them. Nate waves SL over and tells her about his amazing plan. SL agrees immediately and it makes Lisa suspicious that they may have set the whole thing up beforehand. To be fair, they might have and that might not be sinister. If they were good friends, they would have known she'd be uneasy going back to the place that Summer was so violently murdered beside and they might have discussed how to make it easier for her. I don't know. I don't want to give the asshole any credit but it's possible.

They walk back to class and SL and Nate pull ahead of Lisa. She can hear them whispering to each other and clearly hears SL ask Nate why they can't just tell her the truth.

On Wednesday, Lisa heads over to Alice's house to pick up Harry. She hears the human-sounding cry from the basement again but Alice ignores it. She admonishes Lisa for letting Harry stay up late. She tells her that Brenda doesn't like to talk about it, but Harry has a very serious (and conveniently vague) medical condition (which isn't made up at all) that involves his brain waves in some way (that isn't imaginary) and makes him into a totally different person if he doesn't get enough sleep. This condition (which totally exists) makes him prone to seizures as well. Lisa is horrified and promises to do a better job so Harry is not afflicted by this horrible (and completely not fictional) disorder.

Yeah.

Lisa gets Harry to bed right on time. Again. Because it worked so well the last time. She tells him to go right to sleep so his brain waves don't do any of those awful (and not at all invented) things. She goes downstairs but is too keyed up and nervous to do homework. She spies some photo albums on the shelf and decides to snoop. She's several pages in when she notices a picture with some familiar faces in it. For some reason there's a photo of Nate with his arms around SL in Brenda's photo album.

Dun dun dun.

Lisa tries to call SL twice and only gets voicemail. It's not until she's home in bed that she finally reaches SL. She asks about the photo and SL tells her that she, Nate and Brenda are related. Distant cousins or something. SL has wanted to tell Lisa forever but Nate thought it would just confuse things. Because reasons. And it's bullshit again because SL could have told Lisa at any time. She doesn't need the asshole's permission. I hate this guy. Lisa comments that maybe SL and Nate shouldn't come with her on Friday because she isn't sure she can trust them. SL gets all butthurt but for fuck's sake what was she expecting?

On Friday, Lisa picks Harry up from Alice's and takes him home. They do his homework and have supper and then Nate and SL arrive. Harry is happy to see them and Lisa remembers that he's known Nate and SL all his life.

Maybe they're an entire family of Carol's.

They play xbox and then Harry gets put to bed. This is all so repetitive and unnecessary. Nate is worried because Isaac should have arrived by now. I completely forgot he was even coming to be honest. Lisa asks him why he didn't tell her that he was related to Brenda and he says he didn't want to interfere with her job. It makes no sense and she calls him out on that but he just shrugs and says he's sorry and the conversation is over.

They study for awhile and Nate becomes more and more concerned about Isaac. He finally decides he has to go try to track Isaac down and he leaves. Lisa comments that Nate seemed tense but SL downplays it and says he seemed normal to her. They chat a bit and then suddenly Lisa sees Carol at the top of the stairs. She screams and points Carol out to SL. SL says she doesn't see anything at all.

Or she's pretending not to because Carol is totally her cousin Nate or her cousin Brenda or her cousin Alice or her cousin Harry. 

I can't even set fire to this book because it belongs to the library and that, folks, is the greatest tragedy of this entire thing.

SL gaslights Lisa for awhile telling her that there's no Carol on the stairs when there's obviously a Carol on the stairs. She offers to call Dr S because she's playing her role for all she's worth. And it's working. Lisa thinks she's been hallucinating Carol all along. But she's still worried about Harry. So she runs upstairs to find Harry missing and SL can't gaslight that away. I'm surprised she didn't try though. I'm surprised she didn't say “but he's right there, sound asleep”.

Lisa begins to search the house but Harry is nowhere to be found. SL turns down the gas a little more and says that Lisa's screaming must have frightened Harry and he ran to hide. Lisa totally swallows this and feels awful. Now I want SL to die too.

They split up to search the house. Lisa has searched the whole downstairs when she hears movement upstairs. She assumes it's SL but when she starts to head up there, she begins to hear sounds of a struggle. She wonders who SL is fighting with. Before she can investigate, she hears a scream from outside. It's deja vu all over again. She runs outside and practically trips over what's left of Isaac. I'll give Stine this, the gruesome description is quite vivid. We'll just say he's dead. And parts of him are....missing.

Now we're back in the police station. Only SL and her dad have been added to the mix. Otherwise it's very groundhog day. Nate tells his story (driving around looking for Isaac). SL tells her story (found Harry in an upstairs closet) and Lisa tells her story (Carol). Rivera is not amused. He accuses Lisa of murdering Isaac and Summer and inventing Carol to deal with her guilt. Lisa does some shrieking which doesn't help her case at all. I've warned her about that shrieking but she doesn't listen. SL chimes in that Lisa said Carol was on the stairs but there was nothing there. Her mom repeats that she's had mental problems since the accident.

Are they ALL fucking trying to get rid of the girl?

Lisa asks to see Dr S and all of a sudden we're in her office. It's magic. I'm going to ask to see a million dollars.

Nothing happened.

I guess the magic only exists for people in Stine's world. Bummer. Dr S tells Lisa that she's invented Carol to deal with her guilt and grief. Right. Because inventing Carols to deal with grief is something that happens. Dr S writes out several prescriptions but tells Lisa that if she keeps seeing Carol, she'll have to be institutionalized.  Dr S is totally in on this, y'all.  

Lisa spends a chapter NOT taking her pills and mulling over whether Nate is Carol. It's pretty boring because we've heard it all before. Stine is repeating himself WAY too much in this book and that's coming from me, who knows a little something about repeating.

Nate calls and asks to come over and talk. She tells him no. Brenda calls and asks her to babysit Harry overnight for double the money and she tells Brenda yes. Why the hell would Brenda ask a SUSPECTED MURDERER to watch her child overnight. It makes no sense. No sense. NONE. This book is making me rage so hard.

Lisa gets Harry to bed early and decides to snoop through the albums again. She finds a picture of a young girl reading to Harry. (WHO IS TAKING THESE PICTURES???) The picture is labeled “Joy”. Then she finds a resignation letter from Joy, the former babysitter. Joy mentions nightmares interfering with her life, schoolwork and health as her reason for quitting. Lisa decides that she needs to find Joy and talk to her. Lucky for her, Joy is a formal letter writer and her address is at the top of the page. Convenient.

A few days later, Lisa heads to Joy's house. She rings the bell and a woman answers. Lisa asks for Joy and the woman accuses her of playing some kind of cruel joke. Joy is in the state mental hospital and everyone knows it.

Is this book over yet?

Lisa goes to the mental hospital and asks to see Joy. They take her right to the library and bring Joy in. Stine describes her as wearing a blue long-sleeved tank top.

A long-sleeved tank top.

Does Stine even KNOW WHAT A TANK TOP IS???

For fuck's sake.

Joy asks Lisa who she is and why she's there. Lisa tells her that she babysits Harry and Joy gets agitated pretty fast. She says she can't talk about that because she has nightmares. Then she just keeps repeating “He's a demon” over and over and for some reason that makes NO FUCKING SENSE, Lisa assumes she's talking about Nate. Who hasn't EVEN BEEN MENTIONED. Who Joy might not even know. But Lisa is sure that's who Joy is talking about rather than HARRY WHOSE NAME LISA JUST SAID.

RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm like 50 pages from the end and I am walking away from this damn book for awhile. I can't even. I just can't. So much rage. So very much rage.

So it's been 24 hours or so and I'm determined to just buckle down and get this book out of my life for good.

We get treated to an extremely random paragraph about how SL wants to be a nutritionist when she grows up. I have no idea why this is just stuck here at the end of the book. Did Stine need 50 extra words to make his count or did he get to the end of the book and realize this nutrition thing is going to be important in a few pages and he accidentally forgot to mention it in the beginning like he was supposed to? I guess we'll find out.  (Note from future me: it serves no purpose.  I don't know why it was there.)

Lisa picks up Harry from Alice's house....so I guess she's still babysitting despite being the prime suspect in two very gruesome murders. I suppose Brenda isn't too concerned about that since she clearly knows who and what the Carol is. Since he lives in her house.  I'm beginning to think everyone in the book, including Lisa's mother, is in on this Carol thing. They all seem too eager to throw Lisa to the wolves.

They walk about a block when Lisa realizes that Harry left his backpack at Alice's house. She leaves him standing there all alone (SHOULD NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TINY HUMANS...or CAROLS) and runs back to get it. As soon as she gets inside, she hears the crying from the basement and decides to go investigate. To her horror there are three busted up Carols in cages in the basement. Like rejected experiments or something. One is missing an eye and one doesn't have a bottom jaw. The third has arms too tiny for his body. It's like they tried to make three Carols before they got one right. Or maybe these are just other cousins. They ask Lisa to help them but then one of them grabs her and spits on her and licks her a bit as if he thinks he's her brother or something.

Lisa manages to get away from the howling creatures. Instead of calling the police right there on the spot, she calmly picks up Harry's backpack, takes him home and feeds him supper. THEN she calls Rivera to tell him about the Carols in the basement. Which I'm sure Alice has had time to hide by now. Whatever. It takes some convincing but she gets him to agree to meet her at Alice's house so they can search the basement.

Lisa belatedly remembers she is babysitting. She tells Harry that she has to leave for a few minutes and tells him to play his Candy Crush knockoff. (SHOULD NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TINY HUMANS OR CAROLS) She tells him not to tell his mom that she left him alone because it's always wonderful when adults tell children to keep secrets from their parents. That's never creepy or inappropriate or anything. Harry says he'll agree if she lets him stay up late. Otherwise he's going to sell her out first chance he gets.

TO NO ONE'S ACTUAL SURPRISE, the basement is empty when Rivera goes to look.

I hate this book so much, y'all.

Lisa goes back to Brenda's house and luckily Harry hasn't hurt himself or burned the house down in her absence. They do his homework and then pop popcorn to watch a Disney movie. Harry gets more excited as time goes on. He pauses the movie and asks Lisa if she knows why he likes to stay up late. She doesn't. He says he likes it because he gets to change.

Then he morphs into Carol.

He tries to eat Lisa but luckily for her, Brenda arrives home. She sees what's happening and yells at Lisa for letting Harry stay up late. Lisa accuses Harry of being a murderer and Brenda tells her that it's Lisa's fault that Summer and Isaac died because Lisa let Harry stay up late. She reveals that she and her family made Harry and they are trusting her to raise him to maturity. Lisa compares him to the Carols in the basement and Brenda says those were the first attempts but they failed because the demons could not transform into humans. Harry was a success and it's up to her to keep him safe.

It's clear by now that Lisa is not going to be allowed to just go home. She knows too much. Brenda gets a knife from the kitchen while Harry/Carol stands guard to make sure Lisa doesn't get away. The chapter ends as Lisa tells us that Brenda stabs her in the chest.

The next chapter begins with: “No. I moved before the blade came down.” What the fuck, Stine? Why bother to say she got stabbed in the chest only to say “LOLZ JK” in the next sentence? It's pointless and INFURIATING.

Brenda tries to stab her a few more times. Lisa is able to knock the knife away and Harry/Carol grabs it. Before he can use it, Nate comes crashing in the door and beans Harry/Carol over the head with a lamp. Over Brenda's shrieks he tells Lisa and he and SL and Brenda and Alice are responsible to the “others” (we NEVER find out who they are or why they wanted a Carol) for bringing Harry/Carol up and he wanted to tell her before but couldn't. Brenda yells that they can't let her get away but Nate says he's not going to let her kill Lisa. He tells Lisa to run and she gets the fuck out.

Now we're in Dr S's office and Lisa is telling her all about the Carols in Alice's basement and how Brenda and her family are raising a demon. Not only does Dr S believe her, but she reveals that she's in on it and she's going to send Lisa to a nice mental hospital where she won't be a threat to the project. She tells Lisa that she picked her to work as the babysitter because Lisa was having the hallucinations and Dr S knew no one would believe her if she told them about a demon. She mentions the failure Carols and then goes on a bit about how perfect Harry is and how they can't let anyone ruin the plan. That's when Lisa reveals that she's been facetiming the entire conversation to the police outside the door and the jig is up.

Stine treats us to an epilogue. Nate, SL, Alice, Brenda, Harry and Dr S have all been rounded up and arrested I guess, although I'm not sure what that trial is going to be like. I can't see any prosecutor in the world being willing to stand in front of a jury and accuse someone of making a demon. Lisa is now working in a daycare and enjoying being with human children. One day she spots a little boy sitting on his own in the corner and goes to investigate. She's horrified when the child looks exactly like Harry. He introduces himself as Sam and asks if they can stay up late.

The End.


Final Thoughts: I regret checking this book out from the library. I regret reading it instead of The Band. I regret ever learning to read at all. I would have remained illiterate forever if I knew learning to read would lead me to reading this fucking book. I'm out of there. I refuse to think about this book one second more and those are my final thoughts.




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