The Body by Carol Ellis

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning:  Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/Mr Rochester is.

Tag Line: Hidden in the woods is a deadly secret.

From the Back of the Book: She's seen something too horrifying for words.  No one knows what really happened the night Lisa Randolph fell off the cliff.  Now she is paralyzed and mute, so it seems no one ever will.  Then Melanie is hired to read to Lisa.  At first Lisa just stares blankly, soon she seems to be desperately trying to tell Melanie a secret.  After Melanie's own life is threatened, she knows Lisa's secret is....deadly.

This book was published in 1995 and, even though I used to be a big Carol Ellis fan, I had not read it prior to this recap.

I have, however, read Jane Eyre and did not intend to be reading it again when I picked up this book.  Did you hear that, Carol Ellis?

We begin with our protagonist Melanie Jacobs. She's answered an ad to read to an invalid for an hour a day at the Randolph House. Melanie is new to Massachusetts and doesn't really know anyone yet. She's hoping to make some money during the summer before school starts up again and the reading gig pays well.

Her first day of work is a foggy one but that's not unusual for the town. Naturally. The house is up in the cliffs because of course it is and it looks like something out of a horror movie because of course it does. Ellis is really busting out all the cliches for this one. It's like she has a checklist. Creepy fog? Check. Creepy cliffs? Check. Creepy house? Check. I'm just waiting for the gaunt, mysterious butler to open the front door.

As she drives around to the back of the house, she's almost flattened by a red sports car going way too fast. The driver is male and wearing dark glasses. He doesn't stop. Melanie wonders if it's an omen and thinks she should maybe just head home. It's probably the sensible thing to do, but we have over 100 pages to go here so......

We get treated to two jump scares in the same paragraph. Lucky us. One is a cat and I swear cats only exist in books and movies to give the protagonists (and the audiences) a coronary. The second is a bare-chested guy trimming a hedge. Super scary. 

Ellis is just throwing everything she can at us as fast as she can. This is a bad sign. She's creating false tension with the fog and the cliffs and the red car and now the two stupid jump scares within sentences of each other because it's easier to create false tension than to write something that would create REAL tension. Basically, she's half-assing it already and it's like the third page.

The door is opened by a tall woman who appears to be in her 40's. She introduces herself as Georgia Hudson and leads Melanie into the house. Melanie is enthralled by the size of the place. They go into an office and GH identifies herself as the house manager and the personal secretary to Stuart Randolph. Ellis checks off another box by having Daddy Randolph be a workaholic who is mostly absent.

GH tells Melanie that she'll be reading to Lisa Randolph. She's had some kind of an accident and is now paralyzed. Doctors think she will eventually recover and no expense is being spared to help her. It was suggested that the Randolphs find her a reader because Lisa loved books before she was unable to read on her own. GH suggests that Melanie do a trial run. She can meet Lisa and do a bit of a reading and then they'll discuss the particulars of the job.

As they are getting ready to leave the office, Daddy Randolph comes in. Melanie instantly notices that GH gets all flustered and she picks up an inappropriate-working-relationship vibe from the two of them. Daddy Randolph doesn't seem too interested in Melanie despite the fact that she'll be reading to his incapacitated daughter.

On the way to the library where Lisa is hanging out, GH mentions that Lisa has ceased speaking since the accident. It isn't a result of her paralysis and the doctor's are unsure of the cause. Melanie finds the library to be cold and prison-like despite the spacious size and expensive furnishings. She's surprised to find that Lisa is her age. She awkwardly introduces herself to Lisa and then goes to the shelves to find a book to read to her. The shelves are full of law books, encyclopedias and science fiction novels. GH tells her that those books mostly belong to Lisa's mother. Melanie is curious about Mrs Randolph but wisely chooses not to ask questions about something that is none of her business and has nothing to do with her potential job.

GH speaks to Lisa like she's a baby and Melanie is annoyed. I am too. The girl can't walk and doesn't talk but that doesn't mean she's not still 17. I hate it when people treat disabled people like babies.

Melanie spots Jane Eyre on the shelf and gets all excited for some reason. She read the book in school the previous year and enjoyed it well enough. Jane Eyre IS an interesting story if you can get past all the French. I wonder how Mel will do reading all that french aloud. She's probably taking it in school or something because Ellis will get all lazy like that. GH mentions that Lisa was reading that book shortly before her accident. It was on her summer reading list to prepare for her senior year.

Daddy Randolph walks in again and Melanie notices that Lisa's eyes grow shadowed. He wants to talk to GH because he has a plane to catch. Melanie offers to start reading to Lisa while GH goes to handle business. There's a bookmark in the book so Melanie chooses to start there. There's quite a bit of Jane Eyre quoted here but I'm not tasked with recapping that book. Sorry, dear manager, you'll have to read the Eyre all by yourself someday. While she's reading, Melanie sees Lisa lift her hand twice and wonders just how paralyzed the girl is.

Suddenly GH's voice interrupts Melanie to say the uber helpful word “water”. Melanie freaks the fuck out because GH isn't actually in the room at the time. It turns out the room is under camera surveillance and GH was watching from another room. Melanie finds this a little creepy but it makes some sense to me. If someone can't be in the room with Lisa constantly, then she needs to be able to be monitored for her own safety and well-being. Anyway, GH explains that Lisa might need some water. Melanie mentions the arm movement and GH can't really be bothered to care.

Lisa was indeed thirsty. After she helps Lisa drink, Melanie picks up the book again. She's nervous now that she's being watched but she tries to put it behind her. As she reads, she continually pauses to explain to Lisa what she just read and it feels just as patronizing to me as when GH was baby-talking. Presumably Lisa was reading this book not so long ago. Why would Melanie assume that Lisa couldn't understand the damn thing? 

Melanie catches sight of the jump-scare-cat and the jump-scare-bare-chested-dude outside the window and pauses to stare at them for a minute. Lisa seems to be checking them out as well. Melanie thinks the bare-chested jump scare is mega-hot and she wonders if Lisa thinks so too. Probably. Unless it's her brother or cousin or something. Then again, this is PH and being blood related might not stop Lisa from thinking he's a regulation hottie.

There's so much Jane Eyre being quoted here, y'all. Ellis is just filling her pages with another author's words. So lazy. Disturbingly lazy. Melanie continues to read for awhile, noticing that Lisa's moving her hand again. She thinks it means that Lisa is thirsty again and she offers her more water but Lisa doesn't drink. As Melanie finishes a chapter, GH returns with the physical therapist (Mrs Miles). Lisa doesn't seem too happy to see the PT but I was never too thrilled to see mine either.

Melanie and GH go back to the office to talk about the job specifics. Melanie isn't too sure she wants the job because the house is creepy and Lisa makes her uncomfortable (oh, nice, Mel) but the money is too good to pass up. They agree that Melanie will come in the afternoon because all of Lisa's therapies are in the morning and her afternoons are empty and boring.

Melanie leaves and runs into the bare-chested jump scare. He's wearing a shirt now and introduces himself as Jeff Singer, the gardener. He's new in town too and the two of them engage in some light flirting. Melanie asks him if he knows what kind of accident Lisa had and he stiffly tells her that Lisa fell off a cliff. It's clear he doesn't want to talk about it.

They talk for a few more minutes and Melanie mentions all the cameras in the house which Jeff clearly knew nothing about. She thinks Jeff is a little scary but sexy. Oy. Point Horror girls, yo. They all have a thing for the bad boys.

We're treated to another jump scare.....actually it's more of a stupid cliffhanger....as Melanie leaves the grounds and almost gets hit by that red car again. She's furious this time and she gets out of her car to confront him. He's pretty easy on the eyes too but he looks like he hasn't slept in awhile. Before she can get too many scathing words out, he apologizes. He tells her he was mad the first time he almost hit her and the second time he was distracted by the fact his daisies were about to fall off the passenger seat of his car. Melanie isn't appeased so he offers her one of the daisies. He tells her that he's Lisa's boyfriend and his name is Garrett Bailey. He clearly doesn't like GH or Jeff and doesn't really try to hide it.  Melanie mentions that Lisa moved her hand in an effort to tell Melanie she was thirsty and Garrett is surprised.

Melanie leaves and heads back into town for some lunch. Ellis gives us another character to remember. Trina Hodges, waitress, is Melanie's age and lives across the street from her. Melanie asks Trina about Lisa. Trina says that no one knows why Lisa was out on the cliffs that night and that her accident made Garrett go “a little crazy”.

Garrett comes into the diner and sees Melanie and comes over to greet her. He introduces Neil, Kim, Heather and Rich. I have no idea if they're actual characters or background scenery. Neil is holding hands with Kim but he keeps touching Melanie and flirting with her. Gross. Garrett tells the group that Melanie believes Lisa was moving her hand in an attempt to communicate. I'm sure that won't end up being important to the plot or anything. Everyone seems shocked at the idea.

Melanie gets tired of being stared at by Neil and glared at by Kim and she decides to leave. Neil springs up, grabs her shoulder and offers her a ride home which she politely declines. Kim is super pissed and Neil makes it worse when he turns around and tells her now she knows how it feels when someone new comes to town and your significant other falls all over them. Clearly there's a huge backstory here because everyone kind of freezes and then tries to laugh it off as if nothing happened.

Melanie ends up giving Trina a ride home and she asks about the little Neil/Kim B-storyline. Trina tells her that right before Lisa's accident, a guy named Peter came through town. He was gorgeous, naturally, and a back-packer which made him exotic I guess. He carried a tall, black walking stick with a coiled snake as the top ornament. All the girls fell all over him, most notably Kim. He was only supposed to be in town for a few days. The boys followed him back to his camp and Neil ended up punching him or something. Trina remembers seeing him the next day but then the day after that was when Lisa was found at the bottom of the cliff and she doesn't remember what happened to Peter after that.

That night Melanie has a dream where Jeff is encouraging her to drive over a cliff. There. I just shortened a multi-paragraph dream into one sentence. You're welcome.

The day is nice for a change and Melanie thinks it might be nice to wheel Lisa out onto the terrace so she can get some fresh air. GH shoots the idea down, however, saying that Lisa is too tired. Too tired for what? To sit outside instead of inside? I don't get it. Melanie notes that Lisa doesn't really look very tired at all.

Melanie starts to read and before long she sees Lisa move her hand again. Melanie suggests a system to communicate. One blink for yes and two for no. Lisa doesn't react, she keeps looking at the book. Melanie resumes reading and before long Lisa moves her hand again. It occurs to Melanie that maybe Lisa is trying to use the book to communicate with her. Before she can figure out what Lisa's trying to say, GH comes in and dismisses Melanie for the day.

Garrett, Neil and Kim drive up before Melanie leaves. She excitedly tells them her theory but they are all skeptical. Garrett warns Melanie against trying to communicate with Lisa. Melanie notices he's carrying a small white box and asks him about it. It's a heart shaped necklace. He gave one to Lisa not long after they started dating and she wore it every day until her accident. Judging by the raw, red line around her neck, Melanie imagines that the necklace was ripped off when she fell.

Or before she fell.

You know, by her boyfriend or a jealous girl or a back-packing stranger.

Garrett and Kim head inside to visit Lisa. Neil hangs back to apologize to Melanie for using her to get to Kim the day before. Melanie isn't sure the apology is sincere and she basically tells him to bug off. Jeff approaches her as soon as the others are gone. They chat briefly. Jeff seems to suspect that GH is trying to keep him away from the house. He asks Melanie if she wants to go get something to eat and she accepts despite being a little freaked out from her dream the night before.

At the diner, Melanie chats with Trina while she waits for Jeff who has gone home to grab a quick shower. Trina is excited about the “date”. Melanie is the first person Jeff has really socialized with since he came to town and Trina is hoping that Melanie will be able to figure out some of his secrets.

Jeff arrives and they make small talk for awhile. Eventually the subject turns to Lisa and Melanie tells him that she believes Lisa is trying to communicate. Jeff seems startled by the news. He urges Melanie to tell him anything she finds out. Melanie thinks he's so interested because he is the one who found her at the bottom of the cliff. She asks him about it and he gets angry thinking she's only after the “gory details”.

After he apologizes for snapping at her, Jeff launches into the story. The night before the accident had been really windy and there were branches down all over the grounds. He was picking some up near the cliffs when he saw the cat go to the edge and look over. It made him curious, so he did the same. He saw Lisa down below and called out to her. He thought she mumbled something but he doesn't say what it was, if he knew. The way down was treacherous and he was afraid he'd fall if he attempted to rescue her on his own, so he went back to the house for help.

Jeff doesn't offer up any more information but Melanie can't help feeling she didn't get the entire story. That night, she digs out her copy of Jane Eyre and tries to pinpoint where Lisa made the arm motion so she can figure out what Lisa's trying to tell her. She narrows it down but is unable to decipher anything useful from the exercise.

The next day she is determined to ask Lisa what the arm movements mean. I'm not exactly sure how she thinks Lisa is going to answer her, but... you do you, Mel. When she arrives at the house she sees GH rushing off to meet with Daddy Randolph again and wonders if the two of them have a little thing going.

The book is where she left it and she eagerly picks it up. A note falls out. “If you want to keep reading, be careful who you talk to.” Not exactly super scary but par for the course in PH land. Melanie is sure Kim left it. She begins to read but for a long time there is no reaction from Lisa. Finally she gets to a part where Jane is saying “Help” and Lisa moves her finger. Melanie reads the paragraph again and gets the same reaction.

GH breaks in on the intercom and tells Melanie that Daddy Randolph wants to say goodbye to his daughter before he leaves on his business trip and that her friends are also there to visit her. Melanie is dismissed. She runs into Garrett in the hall. She tells him about Kim leaving the note in the book to warn her away from Neil which is kind of a dick move because she doesn't have any proof the note was from Kim at all. Garrett seems surprised by this. I wonder if he's surprised because he and Kim have something going on so he knows Kim isn't jealous of Melanie. Garrett apologizes for not taking Melanie seriously when she mentioned Lisa trying to communicate. He says it was mostly out of jealousy because Lisa had never tried to communicate with him. But he watched Melanie read to her (creepy) and he could tell that Lisa was intent on what was going on.

Melanie tells him that Lisa moved her finger on the word “help” and again when the book was talking about people around a fire and a newcomer named “Mason”. Garrett gives her a blank look.

Melanie's an idiot, y'all, and I'll tell you why. Lisa likely had help over the side of that cliff. The culprit was likely someone close to her. Melanie's running around telling all the potential suspects that the victim is trying to communicate with her. She's going to get Lisa killed if she keeps this up. The bad guy won't want to run the risk that Lisa will identify him/her.

As she's talking to Garrett, Melanie realizes that Lisa is trying to keep things hush hush. She knows about the cameras and she knows people are watching so she switched to using only a finger instead of her whole hand. It finally dawns on Melanie that Lisa is scared and doesn't want anyone but Melanie to know she's communicating.

Took ya long enough, Mel. Sheesh.

In the next breath she tells Garrett that her parents have gone on vacation and she's home alone. For fuck's sake. I won't even waste my breath telling you how stupid this is. I've ranted sufficiently about this in other recaps. You can pull one up if you need the review.

Jeff wanders by and....wait. I must have read something wrong. I thought Garrett caught up with her inside the house. But Jeff never comes inside so they must be outside. Whoops. Anyway, Garrett clearly hates Jeff. He asks Jeff how long he'll be working outside the library and implies that Jeff is using the opportunity to spy on Lisa. Jeff ignores him and Garrett leaves. Jeff refuses to answer any of Melanie's questions about the barbed encounter and instead invites her to go bowling that night. Despite thinking that Jeff is mysterious and maybe even dangerous, Melanie is happy to accept.

Later, Melanie goes over the book again. It seems as if Lisa is trying to tell her about a dark eyed stranger. Jeff was a stranger to Lisa at the time of the accident and he has dark eyes. Melanie gets a couple of prank calls because PH LOOOOOOOOVES prank calls. The caller says he knows she got his message and she better listen.

Melanie is scared at first and goes around turning all the lights on so she won't come home to a dark house. Then she thinks about how much Kim would enjoy her reaction (because Kim's the one who made the prank call obvs) and she gets mad. By the time Jeff arrives, she's super pissed. She's going on the date though. Sure, just a few paragraphs ago she decided he was the bad guy but she's not going to let the fact that she thinks he might be a killer stop her from a night of super fun bowling. She doesn't let it deter her from telling him she's home all alone for awhile either.

Wow this girl is dumb.

In the middle of the second game of bowling, Jeff wanders off to get them a cold drink. While he's gone, Rich and Heather show up. I'd almost forgotten they existed. Heather asks Melanie how she can stand to read to Lisa because it's all just too creepy. She tells Melanie that she's the one who has been doing Lisa's hair but it's only because her mom makes her do it. Melanie learns that GH only started working for Daddy Randolph a few weeks before Lisa's accident so the dark-eyed lady could also be “the stranger” Lisa is referring to.

Melanie learns that Garrett also believes that Jeff stole the necklace off Lisa's neck when he found her at the bottom of the cliff. That's why Garrett hates him and why GH tries to keep him away from the house. Heather is a font of information. She tells Melanie that when Lisa found out that Neil punched Peter the back-packer she offered to let Peter camp out in the woods around her house. Melanie wonders if Peter could be “the stranger”.

On the drive home, Melanie tells Jeff that she knows why Garrett hates him. Jeff is offended at this line of questioning. He tells her that he didn't steal the necklace and then he kisses her. Melanie isn't sure she believes him but she liked this kiss.

Alone in the house later, Melanie realizes that someone has written on her patio doors in huge red letters. “Be careful, Melanie. I know what you're doing.”

At first Melanie thinks someone got into her house and she tears through the place searching for the intruder. Again, not smart. Gentle readers, if you think there is an intruder in your house, leave and call the police. Do NOT go looking for them. Anyway, it finally dawns on her that the person wrote the message from outside. It's written in red nail polish and it must have taken the person forever to write it in mirror image so it appeared correctly from the other side of the glass.

The next day Melanie heads to the diner to get lunch and talk to Trina. Either business in the diner is super slow or there are tons of waitresses on duty because it seems like all Trina does is bring Melanie's food and chat. It's like she's Melanie's personal waitress or something. Melanie's pretty steamed because Kim is making her life miserable. Trina suggests she talk it over with Kim and like a miracle Kim walks in at that exact moment. Deus ex Kim.

Melanie goes over to confront Kim and tell her to knock it off. Kim, predictably, denies any involvement. She tells Melanie that she broke up the Neil already and she hasn't sent any messages or made any phone calls or vandalized any windows. Melanie wonders if everything could be happening because she's been telling everyone that Lisa is trying to communicate with her.

Do you think so, Mel? Gosh you're dumb.

She decides to confide in Trina but first she makes Trina swear not to tell anyone what Melanie's already fucking told EVERYone. She tells Trina about Lisa moving her hand or finger during certain passages of Jane Eyre. You know....right there in the diner where anyone could be listening. {{sigh}} Trina doesn't want it to be anything sinister and suggests that it might still be Kim.

On the way to work, Melanie hears a weather report that says that today will be the last sunny day for awhile. Fog and rain are moving into the area for the next week. GH walks with her to the library and Melanie mentions that she'd like to take Lisa out on the terrace for a bit since it's the last nice day. GH starts to protest but Lisa starts humming and moving her eyes back and forth to the window repeatedly. GH realizes that Lisa really wants to go outside and gives the okay.

They park Lisa under a branch so she's in the shade. GH goes off to fetch something for Lisa to put on her shoulders and Melanie realizes she's forgotten her marked copy of Jane Eyre in her car. She dashes off to get it.

I haven't really mentioned this so far because I've been in denial about it, but Ellis is ending a lot of her chapters with the “Stine-ridiculous-chapter-ending-cliffhanger” in this book. She's too good for this cheap tactic and I've been trying to pretend it's not happening. I can't anymore, though, because this chapter ends with the sound of a chainsaw and Melanie realizes that Jeff is cutting down the branch that is hanging directly over Lisa's head.

Because of course he is. A person NEVER checks under the tree before they start cutting down heavy branches. That's just crazy talk. 

I just sprained an eyeball because I rolled my eyes so hard, y'all.

Garret and GH witness Melanie's frantic dash across the lawn and comedic fumble with the brakes on the wheelchair. Naturally she's able to push Lisa away in time and nothing bad happens. Garrett yells at Jeff for not checking the terrace before he cut down the limb – which is fair – and Jeff is pissed at being scolded but apologizes. I don't see what point this served other than artificially creating tension again where tension wasn't needed. Maybe Ellis is trying to plant a seed in our minds that Jeff overheard Melanie getting ready to communicate with Lisa and wanted to put a stop to it but it's not done well at all.

Garrett demands that Jeff be fired and GH tells him that she'll handle things the way she sees fit. She pushes Lisa inside and then goes out to Jeff's truck to talk to him. Meanwhile Garrett does his best to set Jeff up as the bad guy. He points out that Jeff could be trying to kill Lisa a second time and that Melanie doesn't really know him. Melanie counters with the fact that she doesn't really know Garrett either and asks him why he always shows up when he knows she'll be reading to Lisa. She wonders if he's trying to spy on the two of them. It's more insightful than Melanie's been all book and I'm almost proud of her.

Melanie joins Lisa inside and begins reading from Lisa's copy of the book. Lisa signals a few times when Melanie reads about a dangerous thing happening and about someone looking evil. Melanie spends a whole lot of paragraphs wondering if Jeff is the bad guy again. This book is so boring, y'all.

Lisa signals again about a stranger, a crime and something happening in the night.

Melanie goes back to her car after the reading session and finds her book on the front seat. She knows one of them put it there and that they must have seen the markings she put in it. She wonders if the person understood what the markings meant and worries that Lisa's secret is out. Not because Melanie's been blabbing it to every single person who crosses her path or anything but because they saw her book. Most people would see it and think that Melanie was marking things to do a paper or things that resonated with her soul. I don't personally mark up my books but plenty of people do.

When Melanie gets home, the phone is ringing. She's reluctant to answer it in case it's another crank call but eventually picks it up. It's Jeff calling to tell her he won't be working at the Randolph House anymore and to ask her to a movie. She makes a couple of extremely lame and unbelievable excuses and then hangs up. She doesn't want to date him anymore being that he might be the bad guy and all. It didn't bother her when they went bowling but maybe she just really loves bowling and thinks movies are boring. {{shrug}}

Oh, oops. Turns out that babysitting excuse wasn't lame and fictional after all. My bad. Anyway, she goes to her babysitting job that evening and takes all her Jane Eyre notes with her. She studies them after the kids go to bed and she realizes that the stranger is the one who was hurt. If Jeff is truly the stranger she doesn't have to be afraid of him and she can date him after all.

{{sigh}}

She also realizes that in the book Mr Rochester is the one with the dark, dangerous eyes. The man Jane loved. So.....this should be a MASSIVE FUCKING CLUE, Mel. But it isn't. She doesn't get it at all and decides that Jeff could still be the bad guy and maybe she shouldn't date him.

{{sigh}}

The lady of the house returns home early because of car trouble and Melanie heads home. For some inexplicable reason (ie: Ellis needed it for her plot) she hadn't driven to the babysitting job even though she was going to be there pretty late originally. So she has to walk home and now it's foggy and raining and dark. Not taking the car does not sound like a decision a spooked girl would make. Sorry, Ellis, but having your character do something stupid just so you can set up a Stine-ridiculous-chapter-ending-cliffhanger is a dick move.

I find it annoying I have to type this. The chapter ends with a car speeding straight toward Melanie.

Melanie screams and dives out of the way. The car misses her and speeds away. Trina hears the commotion and comes to help. The two girls go inside Melanie's house. Melanie feels that the suspect pool is down to three: Jeff, GH and Garrett. I don't know why Kim is off the table and she never mentions Neil at all. And she seems to have forgotten about Peter completely. Or maybe this is misdirection on the part of Ellis and Neil and Peter are going to be more important to the story than we're led to believe. I mean it's clear that the bad guy is fucking Justin....I mean Mr Rochester.....I mean Garrett....but that doesn't mean that Neil and Peter aren't important players. Ellis is working hard to make us forget them and I find it suspicious.

Trina suggests that Melanie write out some questions for Lisa and then hide them in a magazine. She can pretend that she's showing Lisa some pictures and no one watching the monitors will be wise to her real intent.

The next day Melanie heads out early, anxious to get the show on the road. It's still raining and there's a roadblock on the street leading up to the Randolph House. The officer on duty tells Melanie there's been a mudslide and the road is closed. Melanie explains she works in the house up there and asks if there's another way to get there. The officer tells her that Route 9 goes around the back of the house and there's a turnoff that leads her through the woods on the property. He isn't sure how far the road goes through the trees, but she decides to attempt it anyway.

Things go okay at first but the road is dirt and narrow and she can't really tell whether she's driving closer to the house or farther away. When she's deep in the trees, the car dies. She starts it and everything is fine but it dies again when she tries to put it in gear and drive. I'm not real clear whether this is something mechanical or she got stuck in mud??? I don't think Ellis knows either. She's just typing things at this point. Melanie gets out and decides to walk the rest of the way. I guess she doesn't have much choice. Oh, how cell phones have changed the horror genre.

As she walks, she begins to smell a terrible odor. She attributes it to decaying plant life since the trees are so thick that it never really dries out on the ground. There's a clearing up ahead and a circle of stones that clearly marks a fire pit. She wonders if that's where Peter the back-packer had camped out the night before Lisa's accident. The decaying smell is particularly strong in this area which should have been another MASSIVE FUCKING CLUE but our girl is pretty oblivious. I mean, not always because she was sharp enough to realize that Lisa was trying to indicate certain passages in the book, but she's oblivious when it suits Ellis for her to be.

She heads away from the clearing and pretty immediately falls on her face. She assumes a vine wrapped around her ankle but it turns out to be a strap of some sort. Could it be a strap from a BACK-PACK, Mel?????? She sits back to investigate and feels something knobby under her butt. She thinks it's a rock but 'lo and behold it's a big black walking stick with a snake on the top.

She's going to get it now, right?

She doesn't get it.

She decides that Peter the back-packer hurt Lisa and then abandoned his things in the woods so he could....hide out and watch Lisa from afar. Yeah. I'm not kidding. That's really the conclusion she reaches. Not only that, but she can “feel” him watching her.

PETER IS DEAD YOU MORON. Remember, he's the stranger and the stranger was the one who was hurt in the book. By the man Lisa....I mean Jane....loved. The smell? IS PETER.

I want to smack her so hard that her brain starts working.

Melanie takes the stick with her in case she needs it and resumes walking. As she goes, she remembers the passages from the book. The people gathered around the fire and the stranger getting hurt. She notices the smell getting better the further she walks away from the clearing. And finally her brain works and she wonders if maybe Peter might be dead.

DO YOU FUCKING THINK SO????

Ellis. Why? Why this book? Why this character? Why this story? This is so not like you.

She keeps going and, as she does, she almost talks herself back into believing Peter is alive and out there in the woods.

THAT SMELL WAS PETER AND I HATE YOUR GUTS, MELANIE.

She sees something hanging on a branch about neck level and realizes it's Lisa's original heart necklace. It looks like it was ripped off of Lisa's neck as she passed the branch. But Lisa didn't return for it. Melanie concludes that Lisa was running and couldn't stop. She starts running too. Which isn't exactly smart if she stopped to remember that LISA WENT OVER THE SIDE OF A FUCKING CLIFF.  ARGH WHAT A MORON.

Wow, I don't think I've ever called a character a moron before. Certainly not this many times.

To no one's actual surprise, Melanie comes busting out of the trees and promptly meets bare thin air. Luckily she grabs a tree (deus ex maple) and manages not to plummet over the side. She makes her way to the house and is surprised when Garrett comes to the door. She reminds herself that he is one of her three suspects (I guess Peter is back to being dead) and she knows she can't trust him.

GH has gone to the airport to pick up Daddy Randolph (she left before the mudslide) so Garrett is the only one in the house with Lisa. She stops off at the bathroom to try to clean up a little and then heads for the library. Garrett is in there with Lisa and he refuses to leave her alone with Melanie. Melanie is anxious to have him leave so she can talk to Lisa. Lisa, meanwhile, is frantically tapping her finger on her chair and looking wildly at Garrett.

Melanie finally gets a clue and knows it was Garret. Unfortunately her poker face sucks and Garrett knows she knows.

::::Happy Dance::::       ::::it's almost over::::      ::::Happy Dance::::

Garrett asks her if she knows everything yet and she says no.  Which is the damn fucking truth.  She only knows a little. She thinks if she can get him to do the bad-guy-monologue thing, the cavalry might arrive and save the day. I guess GH is the cavalry here because no one else has any reason to come to the house. And actually GH can't get there either because of the mudslide.

Garrett tells her about how he and Neil (see I TOLD you he was still part of the story) came out to the Randolph House that night because they heard Lisa had invited Peter to camp on the property. They wanted to “encourage” him to leave. Peter refused to go and Neil jumped him. Peter was too strong for Neil so Garrett helped. Neil was mad because of Kim and Garrett was mad because Lisa had broken up with him earlier – it happened before Peter even showed up so it had nothing to do with him, but Neil was just mad in general and beating up Peter was a good release. They subdued the back-packer and then decided to take off. Garrett says that Neil was up ahead on the path when Peter jumped him. Garrett grabbed a rock off the ground and hit Peter as hard as he could.

Peter died.

Big surprise. Huge.

So not.

Anyway, Garrett left him lying there and caught up with Neil. He took Neil home and then returned to bury the body. And get this......

He. Had. No. Idea. Lisa. Witnessed. Anything. Until MELANIE ran her fucking mouth and told him that Lisa was trying to communicate. He didn't run Lisa off the cliff. She ran herself off after seeing Garrett kill Peter. Now they both have to die because of Melanie's big mouth.

Garrett pulls a knife and says that Melanie is going to take Lisa outside for a walk. It's still foggy so they are going to accidentally go over the side of the cliff. Melanie tells him that no one will believe she'd take Lisa out in weather like that but he tells her that they'll just have to believe it. Okay. You've convinced me. {{sarcasm}}

Garrett forces Melanie to push Lisa outside and then they go along the path that leads to the cliffs. Melanie is trying to go as slow as she can. She pretends to slip on a steep incline and engages the wheelchair brake. She puts Lisa's hand on it and whispers for her to release it when Melanie says Garrett's name. Melanie tells Garrett that the chair is stuck and she can't get it to move.

Melanie walks back down the incline and moves to stand behind Garrett so that he is between her and the wheelchair. She says his name and starts screaming at him so he'll keep facing her and away from Lisa. She says the wheelchair moves silently as it comes barreling down the hill. I find myself doubtful about this, but the book is almost over and I'm not going to stop to rant now. Lisa screams as the chair picks up speed and Garrett whirls around. It's too late though. The chair crashes into him and knocks him over. Somehow Lisa is able to stay in the chair though. Sure. Right.

Melanie grabs the knife and says she's in charge now. This is dumb. Unless Garrett is incapacitated in some way, he's going to be able to overpower Melanie. Or he's going to be able to harm Lisa. She can't protect them both with one little knife.

But no worries!!! GH and Daddy Randolph and two police officers show up!!! Deus ex cavalry. Daddy Randolph had called the house from the airport and no one picked up. So when they met the officers guarding the road closure, they just brought them up to the house with them. Except. If the officers were still guarding the road closure, wouldn't the road have still been closed? And they would, therefore, be unable to come to the house?

{{sigh}}

Melanie fills everyone in on everything. The police arrest Garrett.

Melanie eats a cheeseburger in the diner the next day and answers all of Trina's questions. Melanie thinks she and Lisa will end up being good friends and she's going to continue to read to her for free. Jeff shows up and Melanie decides she can date him after all.

The End.

Final Thoughts: This was not what I expected from an Ellis. She committed all the Point Horror sins and then some. It was ridiculous and boring and then boring a few more times. The protagonist was smart when Ellis wanted her to be and stupid when Ellis needed her to be and that made her unbelievable and unrealistic. If I had to describe this one in one word it would be: disappointing. Oh, and if I had wanted to read Jane Eyre, I WOULD HAVE READ JANE EYRE.