Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Secret Santa by D. E. Athkins

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/folklore character is.

Tag Line: ....and to all a good night.

From the Back of the Book: It's time to spread a little holiday....fear.  Djuna Dufarge's holiday party is the event of the school year.  Not because it's the biggest.  Not because it's the most extravagant.  But because if you happen to be invited, you must be one of the chosen few.  You must be one of the most popular, or one of the most interesting - according to Djuna, of course.  This holiday season the party promises to be the best ever - a Secret Santa bash.  It should be a blast.  But no one knows that someone plans to play the game of Secret Santa all wrong.  And that sometimes it's much better to give - than to receive..............

Validity Confesstion:  This is not a Point Horror.  Athkins is a Point Horror author though.

This book was published in 2001 which makes it the most recent book I've recapped on this blog.  I have never read it before doing this recap.

We begin with two girls and I assume one of them is our protagonist. Cleo Newcomb walks into the school bathroom and encounters Djuna Dufarge just putting out a cigarette. Djuna is a bad-girl stereotype from head to toe and clearly the Apex Predator of Shelter Cove High. She has violet eyes and her name was featured heavily on the back cover and ordinarily those things would point to her being the heroine but I'm thinking it might be Cleo with all her new-girl-at-school awkwardness. (Note from future me: Isn't it cute that I'm expecting to identify a protagonist in an Athkins book? LOLZ Clearly I've completely forgotten that Athkins is the fucking queen of useless head-hopping and we're going to be in everyone's fucking brains throughout this book.) Djuna's best friend Barnett is also present.

Djuna and Cleo have a brief encounter that mostly consists of staring at each other and then Cleo goes to pee. Exciting stuff, Athkins. I'm on the edge of my seat.

We don't even begin a new chapter before we have our first head-hop. And then I remember who I'm reading and I just want to die. Oh, hell. We land squarely in the brains of a girl Athkins identifies as “Pammi Purchase, preacher's kid”. She's in algebra class but paying zero attention to the lesson. She looks around the room and notices Grant Winthrop twitching around in his chair. Athkins hints that he's ADHD or something. He is friends with Jeremy Witherspoon who is the class jock and universally adored by all. He is especially adored by some girl named Kip who Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid describes as “too nice” to be adored back. We don't learn anything else from this head-hop except that Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid likes to flirt and make guys beg but she never gives them what they beg for.

We head-hop again and now we're in Kip Anderson's brains. She's walking down the hall with Jeremy listening to the rival voices in her head. One is singing and skipping among the wildflowers because she's with her one true love. The other is chanting a bizarre rhyme: “Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar. Kip is fake that's what you should call her.

Gag.

We don't learn much from Kip's brain other than she loves Jeremy. Jeremy and Djuna just broke up but Barnett has been hinting that they still care for each other and will probably end up back together. Kip wishes Djuna and Barnett didn't exist. Oh, and we get another rhyme: “Stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight. Jeremy belongs to Djuna and you know I'm right.

Not cute, Athkins.

Now we're in Neal Franklin's brains. He likes to watch people because watching them makes him feel superior and he likes to feel superior. All we really learn is he has a thing for Djuna and dated Barnett to get closer to Djuna. Which is pretty awful and I hate him on sight. When it didn't work, he dumped Barnett and was pretty disappointed that she didn't seem to care because he likes to stir up drama.

That was chapter one, y'all. We met 8 people and we were in 4 different heads. That's inexcusable. And lazy. Athkins could stick to one POV and develop other characters through the MC's interactions with them but she chooses to jump around and tell us everything without showing us anything. Lazy. So lazy.

Chapter two lands us back with Cleo. She gathers the mail and finds a red envelope addressed to her. She's worried it might be from Dan. Dan's her ex and, in true PH fashion, he didn't accept the break-up well. He became stalkerish and worrying and she's glad they moved to a new town away from him. The envelope contains an invitation to Djuna's Secret Santa Party. It instructs her to bring five small presents. Transportation will be provided. Cleo is super excited.

Head hop to Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid. She's also invited and excited. She immediately starts devising a plan to get out of the house for the weekend party. She thinks the occasion will be a chance to be bad.

Insert eye roll.

Kip is invited and unexcited. She doesn't want to go but knows she'll have to. She worries about getting the right presents and worries about Jeremy and Djuna being together for a weekend. Meanwhile the voice in her head laughs like Santa. Ho ho ho.

Insert eye roll.

Neal is invited and excited. He thinks this means Djuna is in luuuuuuurve with him after all. He has big plans for the weekend..

Insert eye roll.

If this keeps up, I'm going to get a migraine.

Jeremy is invited and unexcited. He has semi-fond memories of the previous year's party. It was mostly fun except for an incident that he refuses to tell us about. I thought this was going to be a plot point but it's never addressed again. Naturally.  Jeremy doesn't want to go this year but he's sure that Kip will want to, so he's resigned. Gee, Jeremy, if only you'd actually communicate with your girlfriend you might find out that she doesn't want to go either. But heaven forbid you'd do something as rash and outrageous as talking to your girlfriend. This is PH (ish) and no self-respecting character would do such a thing.

Our final head-hop for chapter two lands us halfway in Djuna's head and halfway in Barnett's. Djuna is thrilled that everyone is coming to her party. I'm wondering how Cleo managed to get permission to go away for a weekend with a girl that her parent's don't know at all and what Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid had to do to get the okay to go. Barnett is worried because Djuna's been smiling too much lately and that usually means trouble.

It's time for the party weekend and everyone is on a small plane headed for an island. Cleo is riding beside Barnett and she isn't having the best time. She's afraid of heights and flying and this is pretty much her worst nightmare right now. Barnett seems upset to see Djuna sitting and talking with Neal. Grant comes over and lightly flirts with Cleo and then they land.

A Range Rover comes to meet them. It's driven by a beautiful boy named Tuck. Cleo can tell that Djuna and Tuck are like fated to be mated but no one else seems to notice. Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid is practically drooling on her feet. Djuna says Tuck is one of the “magic people” on the island and he knows where everything is.

The island is small and the house is unimpressive. Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid seems particularly disappointed. An older woman steps out onto the porch to greet them. She's Mrs. West and she's in charge of the house. Djuna seems to treat her with mocking reverence. They are told to put their things in their rooms and then to meet downstairs by the pool for a sunset dinner.

We go through a brutal round of head-hopping at this point. Everyone gets a paragraph or two to tell us how they feel.

Cleo isn't bothered by the small room or simple furnishings. Her room overlooks the ocean.

Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid thinks the place is a dump. She is determined to hook up with Tuck before the weekend is over. Her room overlooks the garden.

Grant doesn't care about the room. He discovers his cell phone has no service and that just cinches it for him. Something bad is going to happen, he just knows it.

Jeremy likes his room that overlooks the ocean. He just hopes Kip will be okay and Djuna will behave herself.

Kip's room is in the front of the house. She hangs up all her things neatly because if everything is neat, nothing bad could possibly happen.

Barnett has her regular room a little apart from everyone else's. She makes sure to unpack a sweatshirt because the house gets cold at night. She's excited about the party.

I guess we don't give a fuck about Neal. He doesn't get a paragraph.

They all meet down on the covered back porch and Djuna tells them a little about the island. It's named Teach's Island after a pirate and Djuna's grandfather owns the whole thing. It's reported to be quite haunted. While she's talking, a guy who looks very similar to Tuck comes out with a serving tray. He's a little shorter and a little better looking, though. His name is Teddy and he's Mrs West's son. Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid is in insta-lust and wants him to join the party. There's some awkward banter between him and Djuna over whether he's the help or a guest. Grant interrupts to ask if there are sharks in the ocean and Djuna thinks it's a ridiculous question. Of course, there are sharks in the water.

Dinner goes well for the most part. Cleo and Grant do some awkward and poorly-written flirting. It's all pretty boring. After dinner, Djuna gets their attention. She tells them that there's a heated pool and tennis courts and hiking trails. There are a couple of sailboats and people to sail them. But the highlight of the weekend is going to be the Secret Santa exchange.

Everyone – including Tuck and Teddy – has their name in a jar so they can be paired up. The pairings are kept secret. Each day they are to leave one of their presents for the person whose name they draw. On the last day, they will give their last gift and reveal their identities.

Before anyone can draw, an eerie howling fills the air. Djuna and Barnett claim it's the ghost dog because there are no living dogs on the island but Tuck says it's the wind blowing through some of the underground caves. Djuna says it's the ghost of Pirate Teach's dog. He killed the dog and left it's ghost to guard his treasure. Some people are freaked, some skeptical.

They draw their names and then people start to drift away. Barnett leaves to go to bed first and then Jeremy and Kip take off together. Cleo leaves soon after. She gets a little disoriented in the dark and starts to fret about being watched and about ghost dogs. Someone brushes past her on the dark path and she automatically starts following whoever it is. Up ahead she hears sounds of a struggle and then someone yelling. She rushes forward to find Barnett on the ground and Grant leaning over her asking if she's okay.

It just occurred to me that the place where they had supper was described as a screened-in back porch.  So why are they hiking up paths through the darkness to get back to the house?  Aren't porches usually attached to the house?  This makes no damn sense, Athkins.

Everyone else stumbles upon the scene. Cleo notes that Jeremy and Kip arrive separately despite leaving together. Teddy and Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid are together, as are Tuck and Djuna. Neal is alone and bitter about it. Barnett says that someone grabbed her in the dark. She was lifted up and thrown. They all discuss who it could have possibly been. Other than elderly Mrs West, no one else is on the island. At least that's what Djuna says. Grant isn't sure he believes her.

They return to the house. Cleo can't shake the feeling that someone is watching them and following them. She keeps telling herself that THE BIGGEST FUCKING RED HERRING OF ALL TIME Dan can't possibly be on the island. Ted and Tuck assert that no one else is on the island. They say it's too small and they would know if someone was hiding out on it. That doesn't seem to convince anyone. Then they remind the group that a person would pretty much have to fly in because the waters are so treacherous and everyone on the island would have heard a plane land.

Everyone goes to bed. Grant walks Cleo up to her room. He acts like he's thinking of kissing her and she panics about Dan again. Grant tells her to lock her door because something isn't right on this island. Cleo follows his advice and then checks out the name she drew for Secret Santa. She's thrilled when she sees she got Grant's name.

Then Athkins hops into her own head to tell us that someone watches the house and sees all the lights go out. And someone else watches the watcher.

Kill me. Kill me now.

Another round of annoying head-hopping ensues the following morning.

Cleo goes down for breakfast and proceeds to grill Tuck for information about ghost dogs and his relationship with Djuna. We learn nothing useful.

Kip finds a Secret Santa gift outside her bedroom door. It smells like death and when she picks it up, the bottom gives way and something oozes onto the floor. She screams. We don't find out what it is though. We learn nothing useful.

Barnett and Djuna are playing tennis. We learn nothing useful.

We're back to Kip. Her screams have brought Jeremy, Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid, Cleo and Tuck running. The gift was a dismembered Barbie covered in some kind of goo. Jeremy is pissed and warns the others that it better stop right then and there because Kip doesn't deserve it. Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid thinks Kip's Secret Santa hates her. Mrs West shows up and volunteers to clean up the mess while everyone else goes down to have tea. We learn that it was a cheerleader Barbie and Kip is a cheerleader.

Djuna and Barnett come in while everyone else is still drinking tea or whatever. Predictably, they all spend a few minutes accusing each other of leaving the Barbie. Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid and Cleo are co-hosting this head-hop, by the way. Everyone throws shade around for a few pages and then Tuck shuts it all down by telling them to grow the fuck up and stop being idiots. I really like Tuck so he's probably going to end up being evil.

Djuna suggests they all have a tree-trimming party that night to brighten up the mood. As an afterthought as she's leaving the room, she tells them all to behave.

The chapter ends with Cleo up in her room. Kip knocks on the door holding a present. She said she found it in front of her (Kip's) door just now but she's too scared to open it. She asks Cleo to do it. Cleo very carefully opens it to find......pick-up sticks. The two of them sit down to play and have a good time.

Now it's time for the tree-trimming party. At this point, Athkins takes us on a wild head-hopping ride again. I'm so dizzy, y'all. I really hate this writing style. Barnett heads down for the party. She can hear everyone but Djuna in the room already. She hears Neal and it produces conflicting feels. She knows a side of him that he rarely shows anyone else but she's so bitter over the way he ended things.

We land in Cleo's head. She's sitting next to Grant and flirting so awkwardly that it makes me cringe. So unsexy. 

Tuck comes in with a cedar tree. Fir trees don't grow on the island, so this will serve as their Christmas tree for the weekend.

Djuna pulls Cleo away from the group and asks her what she things about the people. Cleo watches them start to unpack Christmas ornaments and replies that they seem nice enough. Djuna generously begins to describe each one to us since Athkins has spent so much time head-hopping that we've gotten to know absolutely NO ONE. Djuna describes Kip as endless cheery and Grant as unique and special. Jeremy is called loyal and faithful. Neal is the son of a therapist (it's implied this makes him sketchy) and he's good at head games but bad at relationships. Pammi the Preacher's Kid is eager and kissed ass all year to get the invite. Teddy is a good kid. He's lived on the island his whole life. Well, at least until he was.....sent away. Athkins tries her best to make this sound sinister. Tuck is Teddy's cousin. He's an orphan. Cleo says Tuck seems nice and Djuna replies he's not at all.

The wind picks up and the lights flicker. Tuck says there's a storm coming. Kip worries about the lights but Tuck tells her there's a generator.

It's important to note that Athkins doesn't even know her own character's names. Sometimes our cheery cheerleader is “Kip” and sometimes she's “Kit”. I kept thinking I was messing it up, but, no. Athkins just doesn't know which name is the right one for a character she created.

Barnett goes to hang up a sparkly snowflake and gasps in pain. She drops the ornament which shatters on the floor. Her hand is dripping with blood. People rush to help her and Djuna leaves the room to get Mrs West. Barnett seems confused about what happened but says it was before the ornament broke so it couldn't have been the thing that cut her. Cleo goes to clean up the broken glass and finds a razor blade among the shards. They think it was attached to the ornament and Barnett somehow didn't notice it or cut herself with it as she took it out of the box and unwrapped it from the tissue paper.

Think about that for a minute.

I'll give you time.

Kind of impossible, isn't it? I'm starting to feel bad for Athkins at this point. Clearly she's in WAY over her head with this one.

Djuna takes the razor and demands to know who uses razors like that. Neal is the only one who admits to it. Djuna threatens to kick him off the island but Tuck says no one is going anywhere in this weather. Neal denies all accusations but gets a little snarky with Barnett about their breakup. Barnett vows revenge.

Neal leaves the room in a huff and Barnett gets bandaged. They finish with tree and play a few silly games. Jeremy finds his Secret Santa gift in the tree. It's a hat with no evilness attached. Cleo goes up to her room feeling exhausted. When she opens her door, she discovers that the light she left on is no longer on. Carefully she backs out of the room and closes the door. She goes to get Grant to check out the room with her which is uncharacteristically smart for a teenage girl in a horror novel. They discover a wrapped present on her bed.

Grant wonders if the gift is from the regular Secret Santa or the psycho Secret Santa. He offers to open it for Cleo but she says she can do it. It turns out to be a very benign keychain with a taxi cab on it. Grant leans in and kisses Cleo and she enjoys it very much. Then they are interrupted by Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid. She says that Kip/Kit has a headache and is looking for aspirin. Grant leaves much to Cleo's annoyance. She grabs a bottle of aspirin from her bag but Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid refuses to take it. She says that Cleo should deliver it to Kip/Kit because Kip/Kit trusts Cleo more. Cleo isn't happy but stomps off to deliver the aspirin.

Then we get this.

A shadow melted into the darker shadows at the end of the hall. Perhaps it was the ghost of Christmas past. Perhaps it was the ghost of Christmas to come. But ghost or not, it was very real. Call it the ghost of Christmas presents.......”

I hate Athkins. She got paid for this crap, y'all. It makes me so bitter.

Cleo and Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid take the aspirin into Kip/Kit's room. Kip/Kit seems disoriented and confused. She grabs Cleo's arm and tells her not to trust “him” and then she faints. Help is summoned. Djuna says that this isn't unusual for Kip/Kit. She's always gotten headaches and passed out and she's been to tons of doctors and no one can figure out why. I can so relate to this.

Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid says that Kip/Kit fancies herself a psychic but none of her “visions” ever come true.  This is a plot point that never gets developed, by the way, because Athkins sucks.  Kip/Kit awakens and feels a lot better, she asks everyone to leave and let her sleep. They comply. In the hall, Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid implies that she's headed off to sleep with Teddy. No one cares.

Athkins takes us on another dizzying round of head-hopping.

Kip/Kit is sleeping on her back with her hands folded across her chest. She's not dreaming. The visions always steal her dreams.

Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid is waiting impatiently for someone. It makes her angry to be kept waiting and being angry makes her do bad things.

Djuna thinks about how the night is young and anything could still happen.

Jeremy sleeps the innocent sleep of a baby....or a person without a conscience.

Barnett can't sleep. All she can think about is how her relationship with Neal went wrong. She wants answers from him. Someone knocks on her door.

Tuck is sleeping hard. He thinks about how the only way to win with Djuna is to not play her games. He's determined to win.

Wait. How are all these sleeping people thinking these things? Do you think when you sleep? I sort of thought that was the point of sleeping. To not think for awhile. Athkins. Really. This is fucking sloppy.

Teddy usually hates being on the island. He thinks it's like being buried alive. Don't scoff at him!! Clearly being on an island paradise is EXACTLY like being slowly smothered to death and powerless to free yourself. Sheesh, guys. Get off Teddy's back. He's ready for some excitement and happy to have a playmate for once.

Neal is seething. Everything is Barnett's fault. Sure he cheated on her, but all guys cheat. If she'd only acted like she was supposed to act, everything would have been fine. No one dumps Neal. He's going to make her regret it.

Cleo is sleeping restlessly. She hates how cut off from civilization they all are but likes slobbering all over Grant.

The next chapter starts with Cleo being awakened by footsteps in the hall. She decides to investigate. She sees someone in the shadows by the stairs and heads that way but before she can reach them, a door opens up. Cleo flattens herself against the wall and listens as Barnett and Neal argue. Barnett says that Neal asked her do it and Neal tells her that she's not going to make him her fall guy. Barnett is furious and tells him that he's a loser and a one-trick pony. Neal reacts by grabbing her arm in a menacing manner. Barnett starts screaming and people begin arriving onto the scene. It looks bad for Neal. He tells Barnett that she's going to be very, very sorry for this.

Cleo thinks to herself that she's more afraid of Neal than she ever was of Dan. Dan gets mentioned so much in this book that you almost forget he isn't really a character. She realizes that Jeremy, Tuck, Teddy and Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid never came out of their rooms. She wonders what they were up to.

The next morning everyone but Barnett, Neal and Tuck are gathered on the screened-in porch having breakfast. The weather is bad for outdoor activities and they're trying to figure out what to do. There's a lot of poorly-written banter and flirting and insulting going on. Athkins is really just awful at dialogue. They all sound like parodies of people.

Djuna suggests they put on rain gear and go for a hike. Everyone agrees. They decide they'll invite Barnett but not Neal and Cleo heads upstairs to find her. Barnett's room is empty. It looks like the bed was never slept in. She gets dressed in hiking gear and heads back to the porch. Neal is there now with everyone else. She reports that Barnett isn't in her room.

They search the house but can find no sign of her. There's also no sign that she went outside. Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid starts to panic for some reason and goes tearing through the house screaming Barnett's name. This serves to panic the rest of them, and they all follow suit. When the panic is exhausted and Barnett is still missing, they gather around the Christmas tree to decide what to do.

Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid notices there's a gift under the tree addressed to them all. No one wants to open it. Djuna finally does the honors and finds the gift contains a note that simply says “Treasure Hunt”. They all realize that Barnett is the treasure they have to hunt for.

Finally something is happening in this damn book. It's 75% over and we're just now getting to something.

Djuna immediately accuses Neal of being behind the entire thing. He denies. Tuck suggests calling the police and Djuna says they can do that after they make sure Neal is dealt with. Teddy seems enthusiastic about the lynching to come. Grant steps in and calmly suggests that Neal just go up to his room and remain there while the rest of them try to find Barnett. Neal agrees and Grant goes with him to take the first watch so that they know Neal will stay out of the way.

They split up and search the island until the rain and the darkness make it impossible. No one finds any sign of Barnett. When they get back to the house, they realize the phone is out and the weather means no one can leave to summon any kind of help.

Djuna sends Teddy out to take over watching Neal. Athkins tells us that Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid took over for Grant because she didn't want to go out in the rain. Then they decide to change clothes and get something to eat. Teddy meets them at the top of the stairs. Neal and Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid are both missing and there's a note. Sigh. Because of course there is.

Santa's gifts grow and grow,
Where are they now?
Wouldn't you like to know”
Ho Ho Ho.”

Lame, Athkins. Hella lame. That's awful.

Djuna drops the note on the floor and hysterically rushes into Neal's room. It's way out of character for her and makes me instantly suspicious. Barnett was her nearest and dearest friend and she didn't get that upset about her disappearance. She presumably hates Neal and has no obvious affection for Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid. So why does she go tearing through the room repeating “No” over and over?

Anyway, Neal's room is a mess but it's unclear whether there was a big struggle or he's just not very neat. Djuna says the note is a clue and they all return to the stairs to find it but it's disappeared as well. Djuna is still hysterical and takes off running. Kip/Kit isn't much better. She's mumbling about Santa Claus being out to kill them.

They all go down for dinner. It's only then that they remember that Djuna ran off earlier. Tuck seems terrified and is getting up to go look for her when she bursts into the room. She's still hysterical but now she's talking about Barnett being gone. It turns out that Barnett's initial disappearance was a joke they came up with to make Neal sweat a little. Djuna let Barnett out the night before and Barnett was supposed to spend the night in the boathouse. Then she was going to surprise everyone by appearing during dinner. But now she's really, really, truly gone and Djuna is freaking the fuck out.

The next morning they go out to search again. The weather is worse and they come up empty handed. When they return to the house, Mrs West is missing. Tuck calls her “Aunt Danny” which makes Cleo think of her Dan. I'm so sick of Dan. He's the worst red herring ever in the existence of these books.

They search the house again. No one is found. Djuna and Cleo are down in the basement when they hear Kip/Kit start screaming. They run up to the room with the Christmas tree. Kip/Kit is pointing in terror at something under the tree. It's a bowl filled with water. In it, four figurine are floating: a boy and three girls. Kip/Kit starts screaming that it's the missing people and they're all dead in the ocean.

Kip/Kit faints again. They carry her to the couch and then Jeremy says he wants to go get a cold cloth for her. Tuck suggests that he not go alone. Grant says he'll go too and Tuck suggests one more. As if he thinks that either Jeremy or Grant is the bad guy. Teddy says he'll go too. Tuck decides to light a fire as the storm intensifies outside. Just as he's looking for matches, the lights go out.

Djuna finds the matches and the fire is lit along with some candles. They sit for a bit and then Grant stumbles in. He says the lights went out and then he heard Jeremy say something. There were sounds of a fight. Something hit him. He heard Teddy say something and then everything went quiet. Now Jeremy and Teddy are gone too.

Djuna points out that he was the last one to see Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid and Neal earlier and now he's the last one to see Jeremy and Teddy. He isn't happy about the accusation. Tuck says he thinks he can fix the generator and after much discussion, it's decided that he and Grant will go do that while Cleo and Djuna stay with Kip/Kit who is still unconscious.

As soon as the boys leave the room, Djuna tells Cleo to come to the basement with her. They'll hide Kip/Kit somewhere safe. She says she almost has it figured out, she just needs a little time. Cleo doesn't want to go, so Djuna eventually goes alone.

Time passes. The fire is dying and Cleo doesn't know where to get more logs. The candles are about to burn down and go out. Kip/Kit finally stirs and comes to. A minute or so later, Djuna appears in the doorway. She tells them that they have to get someplace safe and they have to trust her. She leads them outside into the storm. Cleo can't see where they're going. They finally stop and Djuna opens some kind of trapdoor into the ground. She puts a ladder down into the hole and forces Kip/Kit and Cleo to climb down. She says it's a cave and they just have to wait down there until she comes back but she leaves them with a flashlight.

Kip/Kit notices a hole in the wall of the cave and asks Cleo if there's some kind of animal down there. Cleo shines her light in and realizes it's a tunnel. What's more, there's footprints in the wet clay of the tunnel. Cleo decides to see where it leads despite Kip/Kit's protests. They follow it into another cave or cavern or something. I'll be honest, I stopped caring so very long ago.

Barnett, Neal and Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid are in there. Because of course they are. No one really dies in these books. They've been down there in the dark with no flashlight. They don't seem to know who put them there but Tuck is their #1 suspect.  Because reasons.  There's another tunnel out but it leads to an opening on the side of a cliff. Cleo can see the water below. But not as far below as it should have been. The tide was super high due to the storm. Everyone worries that it will get high enough to flood the caves and they'll all drown.

Djuna startles them all by appearing suddenly. She tells them that they have to get out because if they stay, they'll drown. She mentions that they need to find Tuck and Grant and everyone loudly protests that Tuck is the bad guy.

Suddenly Teddy appears and Djuna seems very frightened of him. She accuses him of doing all this because he holds her responsible for his father's death. It isn't really explained very well HOW she was responsible for his death. She says she was 6 and Teddy's dad pulled her out of a cave or something. He left her waiting by a tree and then somehow he fell to his death. None of this sounds like she was responsible for his death but Teddy agrees that he does blame her and always will. He denies being involved in the shenanigan's though. He tells them that Grant and Tuck are waiting at the top of the ladder and they all need to get the fuck out of there.

They all eventually go back through the tunnel. Jeremy, Grant and Tuck are there in the cave but there is no ladder. Djuna is glad to see Tuck unharmed. He pulls her to him and Pammi Purchase Preacher's Kid mocks their touching moment. A voice calls down from above. It's Mrs West.

Are you surprised? I'm not. I had this one pegged WAY back. Usually I don't, but this one was pretty obvious.

She accuses Djuna of killing Mr West. Still. No evidence of this. None.

Mrs West says she's going to leave them all there to die. But she doesn't know Teddy is with them. He speaks to her and she's horrified that he's down there with the rest of them. She had him locked up safely but he escaped and he thought she had been kidnapped with everyone else so he went looking for her with the rest of them. She tells them all to step back so she can lower the ladder and get her son out of there.

In the distance they can hear water rushing through parts of the cave. Time is running out.

Mrs West lowers the ladder. Teddy asks her if she's holding it tight and she replies that she is. He gives it a hard jerk and she falls to the floor of the cave, breaking her leg.

Cleo tells us that she doesn't remember much of what happened next.  Which basically means Athkins was just over the book at this point and didn't want to write any of these scenes.  Cleo barely remembers the walk back to the house or changing her clothes and getting into bed. The next morning a medical chopper comes for Mrs West and the rest of them take the plane back to civilization. Cleo and Grant have some awkward flirting where they talk about how interesting life is going to be from now on and the book mercifully ends.

Final Thoughts: I hate head-hopping. It's one of my biggest pet peeves even when it's done well and Athkins doesn't do it well. She substitutes it for actual character development. She doesn't SHOW us anything. She merely TELLS us. For instance, we're TOLD that Tuck is sketchy but we're never SHOWN him doing anything remotely shady.  He actually seems to be a pretty good guy and he was, in my opinion, the only likable character in this entire book.  Athkins (and a lot of other Point Horror authors) have a habit of trying way too hard to make everyone sinister and then at the end of the book going “oh, lolz, I was kidding about that – he's really an awesome guy”. It's annoying. I'm not fond of Cooney's pseudo-lyricism or Hoh's ridiculous plots, but I'd read either of them before I'd read an Athkins. I really, truly, hate her writing. I think she's the worst of the lot and that's really saying something.




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