Sunday, January 29, 2023

The New Boy by R. L. Stine

 **This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Please be aware that the story WILL be spoiled in every way imaginable. And mocked. Mercilessly.


Tag Line: He was a hunk of trouble...

From the Back of the Book: He stole their hearts...Does he want their lives too? What a hunk! When handsome, mysterious Ross Gabriel comes to Shadyside High, all the girls want to date him...even the ones who already have boyfriends! Janie, Evie and Faith go so far as to make a bet...which one of them will he go out with first? But when the murders begin, and it starts to look like dating Ross means flirting with a gruesome and untimely death.* Will Janie's dream date with Ross turn out to be the night of her life? Or the night of her death?

*Is it just me or is this not a complete sentence? Come on, Stine. I think if the word 'and' wasn't in there, or if the period wasn't there and it was joined with the last sentence properly, it would be okay.


This book was published in 1994 and this is my first time reading it.  I know what to expect, though.  Fear Street books kind of have a formula to them that you start to recognize after awhile.  

We begin with our protagonist Janie checking out the new boy. She tells us that he has dark, sad, troubled, brooding eyes. Well, hell. That was the recipe for 90's me to get all the butterflies. Apparently Janie has a lot in common with 90's me because she's super into him. She thinks about talking to him but he walks off before she can.

Janie finishes up at her locker and waits around for her friends Eve and Faith to show up. The three of them were on the dance committee and they're supposed to be meeting to count up the money raised from the event so they can turn it over to the principal. Neither of them show up, so Janie assumes they're with their boyfriends (Eve + Ian, Faith + Paul) and she goes to the office alone. She's kind of bitter that they have boyfriends and she doesn't. Apparently Paul is a jock and pretty popular and Ian is super smart and hoping to go to Yale next year. He's working two after school jobs to save up. There's an undercurrent here that makes me think Janie doesn't think her friends deserve their boyfriends.

Another Stine where girls hate their friends because of boys.  Yay.

The office is empty when Janie gets there but Eve shows up almost immediately. She asks Janie where the money is and that's confusing because Faith is supposed to have it. Eve tells her that Faith put the money in Janie's locker earlier.  Janie panics because she was just at her locker and the money wasn't there which must mean it was stolen.

{{{GASP}}}



LOLZ

Eve was playing a prank on Janie. Faith still has the money.

The three of them are standing in the hall outside the office when the new boy appears with blood streaming down his arm. He introduces himself as Ross and asks where the nurse's office is. He says he was helping some girl get her bike out of a fence and ended up getting cut. Janie wants to talk to him but she's too shy. Faith and Eve don't have this problem and they rush forward to escort him to the nurse. Janie practically stamps her feet thinking: “I saw him first!”.

Janie goes back into the office to start counting the money. Faith and Eve eventually return and they both seem pretty hot for Ross. Janie throws a tantrum and screams that she saw him first and her friends are surprised. They couldn't tell she was interested in him. It doesn't deter them, however. Neither does the fact they both have boyfriends. Faith doesn't seem to like Paul very much and Eve complains that Ian is always working to save up for Yale. I guess they think they're justified in lusting after Ross.

It's spreading, y'all.



Honestly, we're reaching epidemic status now.

They get the money counted up and it totals just over $1200. Faith gets all weird and says they should split it and run. Janie is surprised because Faith is literally rich and doesn't need the money. Eve is the one who is dirt poor. Before Janie can freak out about Faith wanting to steal, Paul and Ian come in. They see the money and start playing keep away with it. At one point, Ian goes deep and Paul throws the bundled up money like a football. It hits the principal right in the face and he angrily tells them all that they're suspended.

{{{GASP}}}

This will ruin all their chances of getting into a good college!!!


LOLZ

He's just kidding because he's quirky like that.  He's not like the other principals.

For some reason, they put the money into an unlocked file cabinet in the outer office and then go into the inner office where the principal suddenly has to take a phone call. It quickly becomes clear that the phone call might last awhile, so Eve says she's going to tell Ian he shouldn't wait for her because he might be late for work. She comes back a few minutes later. Faith gets up next, saying she should call home and tell her mom she's going to be late. She comes back five minutes later. Eventually the principal ends his call and asks how much money the dance made. No one can remember the exact amount, so Janie goes back into the outer office to check the bag. Paul is there and he says he was looking for his basketball shoes.

When Janie opens the file cabinet, the money is gone. This time for real.



Janie frets about the missing money for about a paragraph and then the book just moves on. She and her friends are all still hot for Ross so they make a bet – they'll each put in $10 and the one who gets a date with Ross first will get the money.

The next day, Janie has the good luck of getting paired up with Ross in chemistry. They're supposed to be mixing some chemicals and Ross purposely mixes them incorrectly to make a stink bomb. He tells Janie that he likes “to mess people up” which is an odd thing to say and should definitely be a red flag. She thinks about asking him out after class but he sees a tall, blonde girl and freaks out, running off.



Later that afternoon, Eve calls Janie to triumphantly announce that she is going out with Ross that Friday evening. Janie is crushed.



We skip to Friday. Faith is jealous that Eve got the date first and wants to tattle to Ian. Janie talks her out of it even though Ian really has a right to know his girlfriend has been afflicted with the cheater fever.  You should always disclose your communicable diseases, people!  Janie accuses Faith of being bitchier than usual and Faith admits that she's pissed off because Paul keeps asking her for money to repair his transmission. She thinks he's only dating her because she's rich. Also, her parents are fighting a lot and she thinks they might get a divorce. Janie tries to be sympathetic but she sucks at it.



We're with Eve. She and Ross are parked next to the woods making out. Ross doesn't seem as into it as she is and suggests they go for a walk. Eve doesn't really want to walk through Fear Woods after dark but he talks her into it.  



Janie wakes up Saturday morning to a phone call from Ian. He tells her that Eve never came home the night before and asks if she's at Janie's house. She tells him she hasn't seen Eve since the previous afternoon and he asks if Eve might have gone out with someone else. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Janie decides to withhold information and doesn't tell him about Ross. Ian asks if he can come over and talk to Janie in person and she reluctantly agrees. While she's waiting for him, she calls Eve's parents. Apparently they knew about the date and they tell her that Ross is missing as well.

Ian shows up and he's so agitated he can't really sit still. He asks her if she'll go for a drive with him and she agrees. He repeatedly questions her about what Eve had planned for the night before but she refuses to tell him. She does a lot of “wailing” because that's Stine's favorite word and then she asks him to take her home. He agrees but suddenly he slams on the brakes. He says a dog ran in front of them but she never saw one.

They're stopped conveniently in front of Fear Woods and Janie glimpses something blue laying on the ground just inside the trees. She gets out of the car to investigate and finds Eve's lifeless body. Her head has been bashed in and she's obviously dead but Ian tries desperately to revive her, repeating her name over and over. Janie eventually drags him away and leaves him in his car while she goes to a nearby house to call the police.

When the police get there, Janie goes to sit in the car with Ian. She tries to comfort him as he cries. He thinks Eve was killed because she stole the dance money which is just stupid. Who would kill her over the dance money? It's so dumb that it makes me think he stole the money and he was just throwing that theory out there to take suspicion off himself. Janie decides to tell him about Ross and Ian is instantly angry. He wants to drive off but Janie throws his keys out the window so he can't.

Later, Janie and Ian are taken to the police station to make a statement. While they're sitting there, Ross is brought in by another officer. He says that he took Eve home the previous night after their date. He watched her run up to her house but didn't stick around to make sure she got in the door.

The next chapter picks up on Sunday afternoon. Faith and Janie are at a pizza place discussing the murder and Ian's theory that Eve stole the money. Neither of them believe she did it. Ross shows up and insists that he didn't kill Eve. Faith doesn't believe him and she leaves but Janie sticks around to hear him out. She ends up believing that he's innocent.

At this point, we only know the names of five people so I guess that's our suspect pool.

Odds Janie killed Eve: 10%

Odds Faith killed Eve: 10%

Odds Paul killed Eve: 15%

Odds Ian killed Eve: 50%

Odds Ross killed Eve: 15%

Honestly, I know we're supposed to believe it's Ross but he has red herring written all over him, so that makes Ian our most likely suspect. I'm at least 75% sure Ian stole the money since he threw the blame on his dead girlfriend so fast and maybe he killed her because she figured it out and was going to turn him in? Or he killed her for cheating on him. Either way, Ian seems to be the only person with a motive here.

(((I swear to God, Stine, if it's Ian and you made him this obvious, I'm going to be really pissed.)))

Ross and Janie talk for a bit. He tells her that he only went out with Eve because she offered him half of the dating bet money. He said they both thought it would be a big joke and neither of them took it seriously. He drops some mysterious comment about an incident from his previous town but refuses to elaborate when questioned.

THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING IT UP???  I hate it when people do that.

Janie meets back up with Faith who is talking to Ian and Paul outside the pizza place. Ian is sure that Ross is the killer. Probably because Ian is the killer. Paul tries to warn Janie away from Ross but she doesn't want to listen to him. He offers her a ride home and she asks him how he got the money to fix his transmission. He grins and says it was an early birthday present from a secret admirer. We're supposed to be suspicious here, y'all.

On Monday evening, Ross unexpectedly shows up at Janie's house. He says he needs some help with the French homework so she lets him in. They spend about an hour studying and then Ross asks her if she wants to go get something to eat. It's 8:30 on a school night so she tries to tell him 'no' but he persists until she agrees. (((This is a huge red flag, Janie. He should respect your 'no' the first time you say it.)))  She doesn't want to run into any of her friends so she suggests a coffee shop no one ever goes to.

On the way to the coffee shop, Ross's car sputters and dies. Janie “shrilly” asks what's going on. Why does Stine like the words “shrill” and “shriek” so much? Does he know what those words mean? Those are not pleasant sounds for a person to make. Especially in a closed space like a car. Ross says they ran out of gas and he apologizes multiple times but, for some reason, the apologies make Janie suspicious. She thinks he's probably going to kill her.

I can't with this one, y'all.

Ross suggests they walk to the gas station together which means going through the woods. Janie is not into that at all. She says there's a Texaco just over the next hill so he says he'll push the car if she'll steer. When they get to the gas station, Ross discovers he's left his wallet at home and has to borrow $5 from Janie to get some gas. Back in the 90's it probably bought him half a tank. He tells her that he needs to go back home real quick to look for his wallet because he's driving without a license. When they get there, she realizes that his house is right next to where she found Eve's body.

Ross runs into the house leaving Janie alone in the car. She's freaked out. A curtain in Ross's house shifts and she has the feeling that someone is looking out at her. It freaks her out more. By the time Ross comes back, she's a mess. They decide to ditch the coffee shop and just get a burger at White Castle. When he takes her home, he surprises her with a kiss. She's hesitant at first but then gets into it. Soon they're all worked up. He asks her to a movie Friday night and she agrees to go even though she kind of suspects him of murder.

Our protagonist is extra helping stupid this time around.

I mean, I'm pretty much 80% sure he's not the killer but she's 80% sure he is and therefore should not be making out with him and agreeing to go on future dates.



When Janie gets back into her house, she sees Ross's french book on the table. Grabbing it, she rushes to her car so she can return it to him. When she gets to his house, an old woman answers the door. Janie asks for Ross and the woman tells him that there's no one named Ross living there.

Even though Janie is 80% sure Ross killed Eve and is lying about his name, she decides she's probably in love with him.

Sigh.

Boy must be a good kisser.

The next day at lunch, Faith asks Janie where she was the previous evening. Janie admits she was with Ross and Faith rolls her eyes. Janie SHRILLY cries that everyone is wrong about him. Faith tells her that she's heard rumors about Ross and Janie asks from who. Apparently the tall, blonde girl that spooked him so much at the beginning of the book is someone from his old school named Jordan and she's been talking about Ross to anyone who will listen. Janie asks what Jordan had to say but before Faith can tell her, Paul comes up to announce that Ross was arrested for murder.

{{{{GASP}}}}}}

But how will Janie go out with him now???

LOLZ

Ross wasn't arrested. Paul was just repeating a rumor he heard.

Ross comes into the cafeteria and Janie rushes to talk to him. She tells him about going to his house with his french book and he tells her that the woman who opened the door was his grandmother. He says she gets confused and calls him by his dad's name. Janie accepts that because it's a reasonable explanation. He says the police came by to question him again because Ian reported that Eve had stolen the money but they couldn't track it down. They thought Ross might have taken it when he killed her. Janie reassures him that all the rumors and questions will go away when they find the real murderer.

Because now she's 80% sure he isn't the murderer.

Stine needs a jump scare to finish off the chapter so Ross pulls out Eve's scarf and gives it to Janie. She's so upset that she screams 'no' and runs from the room like demons are chasing her. Now she's 99% sure that Ross is a killer.

Sigh.

Janie spends the rest of the day avoiding Ross. After school she tries to track down Faith to get a ride home but finds Faith having a very loud, dramatic fight with Paul. She can't tell what it's about but figures she'll just call Faith later and check up on her.

After dinner Janie goes to the mall. She picks up a few things and then heads for the food court to check on Ian because he works there in the evenings. She tells him about the fight she witnessed and he doesn't seem surprised. Apparently things haven't been good between Faith and Paul for awhile. Janie admits she's been too caught up in herself to notice. She goes right home to call Faith.

Faith says she has some dirt on Ross because she finally talked to that Jordan girl but she won't tell Janie unless she comes over and hears it in person. She says her dad is working late and her mom is in Europe (because of course she's in fucking Europe) and she seems scared so Janie agrees to come over. When she gets there, the front door is open. She goes inside and finds Faith in the living room with her head bashed in by a fire poker.

Janie starts to freak out. She thinks she can hear someone walking around in the house but she doesn't do the smart thing and leave. Instead she calls 911 and reports the murder. Which is fine, but she could have done it from the safety of a neighbor's house instead. The 911 dispatcher tells her to get the fuck out of the house immediately and to go someplace safe but Janie feels faint. She thinks she'll just lock herself in the den instead. Before she can, someone comes into the room.

It's fucking Justin.

I mean IAN.

I'm terrible with names, y'all.

Ian says that Faith summoned him to the house to talk about Ross. He freaks out when he sees Faith on the floor and tries to revive her just like he tried to revive Eve. Janie shrieks at him that Faith is dead and he responds by saying they have to call the police. Janie says she already did but he keeps repeating it like he's in shock.



We skip ahead several days. Ross hasn't been seen since the day Faith died. Janie bumps into Jordan and the two of them go for a walk to talk. Janie's afraid they're being followed but Jordan doesn't seem too concerned. She tells Janie that she knew Ross from his previous school. His name was Robby then. She says the entire school believed that he killed his girlfriend Karen after they broke up. The police questioned him but he had an alibi so they didn't arrest him. His family moved to Shadyside to give him a fresh start.

Janie is now 100% sure Ross is a killer.

Sigh.

Someone should tell her about the concept of Fucking Justin.

Anyway.....Janie walks home afterwards through the pouring rain. No, I don't know when it started to rain. I doubt Stine knows when it started to rain. Ross jumps out of nowhere and demands that Janie get in his car.  When she refuses, he grabs her and tries to force her into it.  (((Murder suspicions aside, this is another massive red flag, Janie.)))  She fights him and accuses him of killing Faith. He's hurt and says he didn't do it. She says she knows his real name is Robby and he's upset that she found out. He keeps saying he just wants to talk to her and he won't hurt her but she's convinced he's a killer. Finally she tries to stall him. She says she'll meet him at the pizza place at 8:00 and they can talk then. He agrees and lets her go.

Janie's parents aren't home when she gets there but they're expected back at 6:30. They never arrive. At 8:30 she hears someone on the porch and opens the door thinking it's them. It's Ross. He again tries to return the scarf and she suddenly realizes that it's not Eve's scarf after all. It's hers. She left it in his car the night they went to White Castle and ran out of gas.

Ross tells her that he never killed anyone. She doesn't believe him. He gets angry and says he could kill her for not trusting him which isn't the best choice of words under the circumstances. Janie just takes that as some kind of confession. She runs from him, out the front door. He tackles her to the ground in an effort to get her to talk to him which isn't the best choice of action under the circumstances. If she were a real final girl, she'd hit him over the head with something right about now and he'd totally deserve it for being the biggest dumbass on the planet.

You know, when Fucking Justin finally makes his appearance and gets revealed as the murderer, Janie should still dump Ross' ass because he's oddly violent and no self-control.

Janie's parents pull into the driveway and Ross takes off.

The next day, Janie does her best to stay away from Ross, hiding in bathrooms and ducking into classrooms. He finally catches up with her after school and gives chase through the hallway when she runs away from him. She happens to run into Paul and a couple of his jock friends and they beat the fuck out of Ross while Janie runs away.

I'm not condoning violence here, but I will say that the choices Ross makes leave him open to consequences such as these.  If he wasn't chasing Janie like a psychopath, the boys would have no reason to feel like they have to physically defend her.

When she gets home, her parents are gone again. Ian calls and says he has proof that Ross killed Eve and Faith. He wants to come get Janie so they can go to the police together. She agrees. Instead of taking her to the police station, he takes her to the woods where they found Eve. Janie is confused but he says the proof is in the woods so she gets out and follows him.

This one is hella dumb.

Also, our Fucking Justin has finally made his appearance. Damn this one was super obvious.

DO BETTER, STINE!

Ian produces a baseball bat and says the blood on it will prove that it was used to kill Eve. He used it to kill Eve. He says that Eve stole the money and gave it to him for college but then she instantly regretted it. She wanted to give it back but Ian didn't. He went to her house to talk to her about it but her brother told him she was on a date with Ross. He waited around and saw Ross drop her off. He was so mad that he hit her with the baseball bat and killed her. Then he took her body to the woods. He wanted it to look like Ross did it. He killed Faith because he was convinced that Faith knew about the money and was going to tell Janie.

Why did he think Faith knew? This makes no sense and Stine doesn't explain it.

Sigh.

Ross shows up to save the day but Ian hits him with the bat.  (((WALK IT OFF!)))  Janie tackles Ian and uses the bat on his throat to hold him down. Ross comes to help and takes over while Janie runs off to call the police and the book just ends there.

It's implied that Ross and Janie will have a happily ever after but I truly hope they don't. He has issues that should still concern her enough to stay away from him. He wasn't the killer but he's still the one who got irrationally and disproportionately angry several times. He's still the one who grabbed her and tried to force her into his car against her will. He's still the one who full ass tackled her to the ground and chased her through hallways. This is not a dateable man, Janie.

And he's definitely not our romantic lead, Stine.



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