**This blog contains adult language.**
From The Back of the Book: He waited, silent in the shadows of a large elm. His eyes were fastened on a pool of light down the road. He twisted the woolen scarf nervously around and around his palms. Soon she would come. It was written in the stars. Finally Jenny Warren left the protective light of the streetlamp behind. She walked fast, her shoes tapping on the sidewalk. In the shadow of the night, the watcher smiled. His hands tightened their grip on the scarf. "You should have paid attention, Jenny," he whispered to himself. "Didn't you read your horoscope today?"
This book was published in 1992 and I've read it several times prior to doing this recap. I always get it confused with another book but I can't remember what book that is, so aren't you glad you just wasted your time reading this sentence? Since I'm familiar with the story and I already know who the bad guy is, I won't be doing any odds for this recap. Feel free to do them in your head as you read if you miss them.
Chapter One. "ARIES: Loved ones will be argumentative. Avoid confrontations. A bad day for relationships."
We begin in my favorite way ever with the bad guy's POV. He reads the horoscope for Aries which says that it will be a bad day for relationships and decides that he has cosmic approval for whatever he's about to do. He stands around watching Jenny and her boyfriend Derek who are sitting in a car arguing and bides his time.
We hop into Derek's head now. He and Jenny are fighting about the fact that she won't attend a church service with him. His mom is very religious and has really been on his case about dating someone who isn't a Christian. He figures taking Jenny to a church service will get his mom off his back and he can't figure out why Jenny won't just do this one thing for him. Jenny is a non-believer and doesn't like being pressured about this. She tells Derek that maybe he needs to find a new girlfriend and then tells him that she's going to walk home. He protests because it's dark but she says that it's only a couple of blocks and she really doesn't want to be anywhere near him anymore. He wrestles with his emotions after she gets out of the car. He really likes Jenny but he's mad at her for being so obstinate and mad at his mom for being so militant. He just wants to be able to date Jenny without all these complications. He drives off, unsure what he's going to do about the situation.
We're back to the bad guy POV. He's thrilled with how things are turning out. Clearly it's all meant to be since it's so easy. He stands in the shadows and waits for Jenny to pass him on the sidewalk. When she does, he jumps out and wraps a scarf around her neck, strangling her. When it's over, he feels strangely empty. He'd been expecting to feel some kind of joy or something but there's just nothing. He tells himself that it's just because it's the first one and the feeling of power will come later. Quickly he snaps a couple of pictures of Jenny's dead body and then he thanks her for her contribution.
Chapter Two. “LEO: The morning will bring unpleasant news. A decision will be made for you that you might object to.”
It's a Leo horoscope this time because our protagonist, Robyn, is a Leo. Robyn makes sure we know she's r/notliketheothergirls right away by telling us she dresses like a hippie instead of in baggy t-shirts and jeans like everyone else and she listens to Pink Floyd instead of Fine Young Cannibals. She's pretty proud of being different. Clearly she thinks that's a personality trait. Her room is full of crystals and teddy bears dressed like wizards so I guess Adams really wants to jam the fact that she's “special” down our throats early.
Not only is Robyn r/notliketheothergirls but her parents are r/notliketheotherparents. She tells us that her friend Debi's dad is a boring ass banker but her father is much more interesting. I know it's too early to hate Robyn but I do. Every single time I read this book I hate her. You might ask why I keep reading it if I hate her so much. It's weird but I don't really know the answer. I think I keep reading it because it's mindless.
Which isn't much of a compliment really.
Robyn's dad makes candles in mythological or historical shapes. He mostly sells his work at craft shows and things like that but he also has a big costumer base from the Society of Creative Anachronism which is a real thing. I looked it up. According to sca.org, the “Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) is an inclusive community pursuing research and recreation of pre-seventeenth century skills, arts, combat and culture. The lives of participants are enriched as we gain knowledge of history through activities, demonstrations, and events.” It's not something that's normally thrown into a YA novel which makes me wonder if Adams is a member himself or if he just did a lot of research about it and wanted to throw something different at the wall.
Robyn's dad is busy melting wax in his electric cauldron when Robyn stops in to tell him goodbye before she leaves for school. He's working on some candles to take to an SCA event that weekend as well as a special order from “an old friend”. He doesn't name the friend but tells Robyn that the piece requested is Vlad the Impaler. It's not his usual thing and he's not super happy to be doing it but five dollars is five dollars, amirite?
Robyn's mother runs some crunchy health-food store and she's very judgmental about other people's lifestyles. When Robyn asks her to pick Debi up on their way to the school because boring ass banker's Jag is in the shop again, Robyn's mother says that he deserves the inconvenience for buying a status symbol but admits that Debi shouldn't have to pay for her father's “sins”.
On the way to school, Robyn and her mother argue over whether astrology or tarot is better for predicting your fate. Robyn is very into astrology but her mom thinks it's unreliable. Debi doesn't really believe in any of it but she thinks it's fun. Robyn writes the horoscope column for their school paper under a pen name so only her friends are aware that she's behind it. She has a column due that morning but can't turn it in because she has to meet with another teacher about something. Debi volunteers to turn it in for her because she has some things to submit to the paper as well.
When they get to school, they meet up with their other friends Natalie and Dana. For some reason, Adams makes a huge point of telling us that both Natalie and Dana are adopted Korean girls (adopted by different families and not related) so that makes them practically the same even though they're very different. I'm not even sure what he was going for here but it feels a little......well, you know. Natalie and Dana are clearly upset and can't wait to tell Debi and Robyn the news. Jenny's dead body was found the night before and the police suspect Derek.
Chapter Three. “SCORPIO: Unjust accusations will cut you to the quick. Watch your temper and avoid retaliating.”
We land in Derek's head again so I'm guessing he's our Scorpio. The sheriff is questioning Derek in an empty classroom which is a big no-no. Minors can't be questioned without someone present. Know your rights, folks. Derek recounts the events of the previous night and then asks if he should have a lawyer. The sheriff replies that he doesn't need one and he'll tell Derek when he does. That's really not how any of this works but whatevs. Derek blames her death on her horoscope. She was spoiling for a fight because of it and he thinks the person responsible for writing it should pay for her death.
We hop back into Robyn's head now. She's talking to her science teacher about her failing grade. The teacher says that he doesn't think she's going to be able to pull up the grade on her own so he's assigning her to work on a science fair project with Jeff. Jeff is the smartest kid in the class but Robyn doesn't like him much. She thinks he'd be cute if he wasn't so smart and so shy. She's not thrilled to be working with him and, for his part, Jeff isn't thrilled to work with her either. He thinks he could do much better on his own. Jeff asks why he was picked for this particular assignment and the teacher replies that he's the only one whose grade could possibly survive working with Robyn.
I think everyone in this book is a dick. I would be furious in Jeff's shoes.
Jeff tries to make the best of it and asks her to meet him after school in the computer lab so they can discuss ideas for the project. She reluctantly agrees. She meets up with her friends again before class to tell them her sad fate. As they're talking, Derek rocks up. He knows that one of the four of them is the horoscope columnist and he vows to find out which one and make them pay for Jenny's death. Robyn is concerned that she might be a little responsible for what happened but she shoves the thought away.
Chapter Four. “AQUARIUS: School and family life could be better. A new relationship will change your point of view. Stay open-minded.”
We're in Jeff's head now so I guess he's our Aquarius. He's embarrassed at how awkward he was while talking to Robyn. He thinks she's a bit of a ditz but she's really pretty and he feels all nervous when he talks to her. He's beating himself up in his head when his friend Alan rocks up. Alan is a bit of a computer geek but he's also an athlete which makes him a contradiction apparently. I guess Adams has never met someone who is good at more than one thing at a time.
Alan is a track star but his big dream is to be on the basketball team. Jeff knows that try-outs are that afternoon, so he asks Alan if he's ready. Alan pretends to shoot a basketball and accidentally bumps into Derek who is walking by. Derek gets mad and the two exchange words. Derek tells Alan to get out of his way because the less he sees of Alan's “black face” the better. Alan doesn't take that well and just gets further into Derek's face. Derek realizes his mistake and walks away before anything bad can happen. Alan wants to go after him but Jeff stops him. He reminds Alan that Derek's girlfriend just died and he's probably pretty devastated by that. Alan decides to give Derek grace.
We time skip to the end of the school day. Jeff shows Robyn the topics he's been considering for the science fair project. Robyn loudly whines that they're all very boring. He asks her what she would find interesting and she brings up astrology. He doesn't believe astrology is very scientific but she argues that it's actually the oldest science. She tells him that since all the atoms in the universe came from the stars, their entire bodies are made up of star-stuff. It only makes sense that they would be influenced by the stars. He's skeptical but proposes that maybe they can devise a computer program that would try to prove horoscopes are accurate. She immediately shoots that down and tells him his idea is stupid because astrology is based on intuition and feeling and can't be programmed into a computer.
You know what isn't based on intuition? Science. Just saying.
Chapter Five. “TARUS: Some highs but a very bad day over all. Watch out for arguments and avoid following bad advice.”
We're with the bad guy again. It's been a week since he killed Jenny. He's been waiting for the horoscope to tell him when it was time to kill again and the moment is finally here. He feels like he is an instrument of the stars and he's only doing what they tell him to do.
We hop into Alan's head. I guess he's our Taurus. He tells us that he's been having ongoing issues with Derek. Alan took Derek's place on the basketball team and Derek has done his best to make Alan look bad at practices. During practice that afternoon, Derek vowed to “get” Alan. So........
I know it's not fair because I've read it before but it's totally obvious what Adams is doing here. He's not subtle.
Alan heads to his girlfriend's house, oblivious to the person watching him. We hop into the bad guy's head again here. He tells us that being “a representative of the Zodiac” is a huge honor. He's practically jizzing in his pants with anticipation of the “sacrifice”. When Alan draws near, the bad guy steps out of the shadows. Alan greets him, so it's someone he knows. The bad guy stabs him with a knife and then takes a picture of him, thanking him for his help.
Chapter Six. “LEO: Bad news early on is compounded by the attitudes of others. Try to be flexible and work on relationships.”
We know Robyn's our Leo, so I'm going to guess we're with her. She checks in with her dad before school. He tells her that researching the Vlad the Impaler piece is giving him headaches. Maybe he needs glasses? She kisses him and rushes off to school. On the way, she tells her mom all about Jeff, complaining about how nerdy he is. Her mom tells her not to be such a bitch and that she shouldn't judge people she barely knows.
Score one for the mom.
At school, Robyn runs into a custodian named Joe who is trying to get Natalie's locker open. Some things fell against the lock and jammed it or something. He tells her that it wouldn't happen if she didn't keep so much stuff in there and she snaps at him that she never asked for his loser opinion.
I hate everyone.
Joe stops what he's doing. Adams tells us that he was injured in a terrorist attack while in the army and he has a facial scar and a damaged right leg. I guess this is supposed to make us feel even more sympathetic toward his character but honestly I was sympathetic enough. Natalie's attitude toward him was heinous even without him being an injured vet. Anyway, he tells her that he deserves a little respect. She gets her bitch face going but manages to do the human thing and apologize.
Derek rocks up and we have a repeat conversation where he claims the person who wrote the horoscope column is responsible for Jenny's death. He says astrology is evil. Joe speaks up and says he regularly reads the horoscope column in the school paper and enjoys it. Derek takes off. Just in time, too, because the sheriff has made another appearance at the school. Joe tells the girls that Alan was murdered the night before.
Robyn is aware that Alan was Jeff's best friend so she's a little more gentle with him when they meet up after school to work on their project. She can tell that Jeff has been crying even though he's trying to hide it. She asks him if he wants to just forget about the project for a day or two but he says he can use the distraction. He wants to build a computer program that will help do some of the calculations for making up star charts. Robyn walks him through the information she needs to do one: date and time of birth, etc. She has to calculate where all the planets were at his exact time of birth and adjust for the location of his birthplace to know what his chart looks like. He tells her that a computer could definitely do that a lot faster than a human and they decide to make that their project.
I thought most science fair projects were experiments.
Chapter Seven. “SCORPIO: News is not good for you. People in authority will be aggressive. Don't blame others for your own failures.”
Back with Derek. He's being questioned about his whereabouts the previous night. He says he was home listening to music but there's no one to verify because his mom was at a bible study meeting. The sheriff tells him that Alan was stabbed with a double-bladed knife that made it look like a bull gored him. So you can probably see where this is going. Aries (the ram) was strangled with a wool scarf and Taurus (the bull) was stabbed with a double knife. Again, not subtle.
The sheriff also mentions that he checked Alan's horoscope for the day, because that's totally a thing this particular sheriff would do, and it predicted bad things. Derek jumps on that. He gives the sheriff the names of the girls that he thinks might be responsible for the column. He thinks one of them might be doing the killings. The sheriff dismisses him and tells him to stay out of trouble.
We're back with Jeff. Robyn has done his star chart and she goes on for three or four pages about how the position of the planets at his time of birth indicate various aspects of his personality. It surprises him how accurate it is. They're interrupted by the sheriff who wants to talk to Robyn. He's talked to the faculty advisor of the paper and found out that she's the one who writes the horoscope column. He finds it's suspicious that she uses a pen name and suspicious that she predicted a bad day for both victims. She tells him that she predicts a bad day for a lot of people who don't end up murdered. He shows her pictures of the scarf used to strangle Jenny and the knife used to kill Alan and asks if she recognizes either of them. She tells him the knife belongs to her father.
Chapter Eight. “LEO: A changeable day. Good news and bad news intermix, and it's hard for you to know when you're ahead.”
Back with Robyn. She explains to the sheriff that her dad had a friend make the knife to go with his SCA costume. The sheriff tells her that he wants to go speak to her dad and, for some reason, she has to go with him. Jeff volunteers to go with her for emotional support even though she's been pretty mean to him and her dad's knife killed his best friend.
Jeff is the only likeable character in this book.
I take that back. Robyn's mom is okay.
At the house, Robyn is surprised to find her father just waking up from a nap. It's not a normal thing for him to nap during the day. The sheriff shows him a picture of the knife and he acknowledges that it looks like his. He takes them into the workshop to show them where his costume is kept. Sure enough, the knife is missing. He tells the sheriff that he's had several customers in and out of there in the last week and anyone could have taken it. The sheriff asks him to come down to the station to identify the knife in person. Jeff agrees to stay with Robyn until one of her parents returns home.
After the sheriff and her dad leave, Robyn points out that the murder weapons match the zodiac signs. Not only that, but Aries and Taurus are the first two signs. She theorizes that Cancer will be next.
Chapter Nine. “CANCER: A day to be very careful. A cloud hangs over you and you may be of two minds. The evening is especially bad for you.”
We're now in Natalie's head so she must be our Cancer. We don't stay there long, though. She's a bitch to Robyn who was trying to tell her about the zodiac-based murder theory. Robyn says she's been acting like a complete shrew for weeks and then stomps off. For some reason, we go with her. Debi runs after her and they talk about Jeff as they walk to class. Debi tells her that Jeff's mom has been in and out of mental institutions for years. She attacked her husband with a knife when Jeff was just seven but charges were never filed because she wasn't stable. Debi warns Robyn to stay away from Jeff but Robyn thinks Debi is just being paranoid.
We're back with Natalie. She's at home trying to study while her parents fight downstairs. Her father recently lost his job and fell into a depression. Her mother started to nag him about getting a job and now all they do is fight. She's worried about what will happen to her if they get divorced.
We hop into the bad guy's head. He's waiting outside the house for the noise of the fight to start. He's been casing the place for days and he knows eventually Natalie's parents will be making such a ruckus that he can sneak into the house without being heard. He forces the lock on a side door and makes his way up to Natalie's room. He kills her with a garrote in front of her full-length bedroom mirror so it looks like there's two of her. He's in the process of taking the picture when her parent's unexpectedly come racing into the room, summoned by the sound of Natalie's body falling to the floor. The bad guy aims his camera at them and takes a pic with full flash to disorient them before making his escape.
Chapter Ten. “AQUARIUS: A shared secret will bring you closer to a loved one but your friendship could be endangered if you can't control your ego.”
We begin with Jeff watching the morning news. He hears a report about Natalie's murder and wonders if Robyn knows yet. He calls the house and tells Robyn's mom about it so she can break the news. Soon after, Robyn calls him and asks him to meet her by the lockers before school. He finishes getting ready for school, making sure his mom is comfortable in front of the TV before he leaves. He tells us that she has the mental age of 14 and she's terrified his dad might someday come home again.
Jeff meets Robyn and Debi at the lockers like he was instructed to. They discuss the murders. Jeff doesn't think it's Derek because he knows nothing about astrology and therefore wouldn't know the signs of the victims or what murder weapons to use. It's a weak argument because anyone with a computer can do some research. He points out that Derek also wouldn't be interested in finding out who wrote the horoscope column if he was the murderer. That's also pretty thin but the girls buy into it. He asks them to come to his house after school to talk about things some more.
Chapter Eleven. “LEO: Surprises are in store for you. Some are good, some bad. But changes will occur in your life.”
Back with Robyn. She runs into Joe as she's getting ready to leave the building after school. He sees Jeff waiting for her and warns Robyn that Jeff's dad was a pretty horrible person. He says “like father, like son” which is a pretty ignorant statement but I'm not about to climb up on that soapbox because I'd be there forever.
On the walk to his house, Jeff tells the girls his story. His dad was really abusive. One night he flew into a rage and attacked Jeff, giving him a concussion. He hit Jeff's mom so hard she fell against the counter or something and ended up with a brain injury that left her in a childlike state. To defend herself and her son, she stabbed him with a knife and he died. She wasn't charged because it was clearly self-defense. He reveals that he's deeply afraid he'll turn out like his dad and that's why he's never had any kind of a relationship.
It's a real worry. I've been there, Jeff. You'll be okay. I promise.
Robyn tells him it's silly to think that DNA can control you like that. She basically calls him stupid. I know she meant well but it was a really insensitive thing to say. It's not silly or stupid to worry about things like that and she's a dick. Jeff seems soothed by it, though. I guess it was what he needed to hear? I still think she could have gone about it better.
Robyn practically falls over congratulating herself for giving Jeff a new lease on life or something dumb like that. I really hate this girl.
Jeff takes them home and introduces them to his mom. It goes pretty well. She calls Robyn pretty and says that she knew Debi's dad back in high school. Jeff is pleased at how well the encounter went. He takes the girls to his room and the chapter ends.
Chapter Twelve. “AQUARIUS: Time to rethink some of your priorities. Your friendship will prove very valuable to others today.”
Jeff has a pretty impressive computer setup in his room. He tells the girls that his grandma left him some money in her will and this is what he spent it on. He tells them that he hacked into the school computer system the night before and accessed the student files. He thinks they can use them to predict who might be next. The murderer seems to be alternating female and male so it stands to reason that the next victim will be a male Cancer.
Eight people fit the criteria. None of them are people we've met before. Robyn thinks they should take the information to the sheriff so he can warn the kids on the list. Jeff volunteers to take care of that and the girls head home. On the way, Debi warns Robyn not to get too involved with Jeff. She's nervous because he had access to the information and he might have used it to pick his victims. She backs this up by saying that witnessing his mom kill his dad probably messed him up and now he's a serial killer.
Chapter Thirteen. “SCORPIO: A day of questions – you ask and are asked more than you can answer. A time to search your soul for goals and intentions.”
We're back with Derek. He's at the police station because his mom and pastor wanted to talk to the sheriff. Derek's having a crisis of faith. He can't figure out why god is putting him through this and why his prayers are going unanswered. The pastor comes out and tries to talk Derek through accepting god's plan. For two or three pages. Eventually Jeff comes in and interrupts the conversation.
Derek's mom finishes with the sheriff and Jeff asks to talk to him. He does so in front of Derek, Derek's mom and the pastor. He tells the sheriff the theory about the killings being Zodiac based and gives him the list of the boys he thinks are likely to be the next victim. The sheriff dismisses it because of course he does. He tells Jeff to stay away from the boys on the list or he'll be arrested for malicious mischief for spreading a panic.
Chapter Fourteen. “LEO: Family members seem intent on causing problems. Try talking things out with friends and relatives.”
We skip to Saturday. Robyn is helping her mom out at the store. She takes the opportunity to ask what's going on with her dad. Her mom tells her that her dad has been having migraines. He's gone to get tests done but there's no obvious physical reason for them. Robyn is struck with the knowledge that her parents might get sick and die one day and that bums her out. Her mom changes the subject to Jeff and teases Robyn a little bit about a budding romance. Robyn not only denies it but lies to her mom and tells her that Jeff puts her down all the time so her mom will get mad at him and stop teasing her.
Robyn is the WORST.
Robyn's mom decides to give her a tarot reading even though Robyn doesn't really believe in it. The reading reveals that Jeff is the perfect person for her and that pisses her off. Suddenly he walks into the store and Robyn is so annoyed by this that she's very mean to Jeff and basically tells him that he shouldn't be there. She stomps off in a huff leaving Jeff very confused. Robyn's mom tries to ease the situation by inviting him to the next SCA meeting. Which only pisses off Robyn more. She's determined to uninvite him.
Are we supposed to hate her this much, Adams? Was that your intention?
Chapter Fifteen. “CANCER: A crisis today in your work. A bad day for decisions and meetings. Avoid conflict.”
The bad guy is waiting outside the Burger Barn for Ryan to come out with the trash. (Ryan is one of the names that was on Jeff's list FYI.) He's been watching the place while waiting for the stars to tell him it's time. They finally have and he's here to kill Ryan with the claws of a forklift. When Ryan comes out with the trash, the bad guy catches him between the claws and squeezes them shut. Ryan dies. His manager comes out to see what's taking him so long and almost catches the bad guy. He uses his flash again to get away.
Chapter Sixteen. “LEO: Suspicions and fears haunt you today. Go with your heart, but don't neglect your mind. Avoid arguments with friends.”
The next day Robyn finds out about Ryan's death. She tells her mother about how Jeff tried to warn the sheriff that Ryan might be in danger. Her mom is furious that the sheriff didn't listen. She asks who will be next and Robyn replies that it will be a female Leo. This is pretty grim because Robyn herself is a female Leo.
Robyn gets to school in time to see Derek get arrested. The sheriff says that an eyewitness placed Derek near the Burger Barn the night before. He serves a search warrant on Joe for Derek's locker. When they open it, they find pictures of the victims stuffed in a history book. The sheriff is convinced this is enough to convict Derek and he leaves. Robyn is a little relieved that the murderer has been caught before the female Leo has to die but Dana throws a spanner in the works when she points out that Derek didn't actually take that history class and he was clearly framed. Debi believes that Jeff is the killer because he owns a computer and a camera. I guess that's enough evidence for her.
Chapter Seventeen. “AQUARIUS: Friends can cause trouble today, but it's possible to work things out. Avoid conflicts of interest.”
We're in Debi's head for the first time all book. She's upset that Robyn won't listen to her theory that Jeff is the killer because he owns a camera and a computer. You know....because no one else in the town owns a camera and a computer. She's rabidly pushing the theory when Robyn reminds her that the science teacher could have done it as well. That takes the wind out of Debi's sails. She'd never considered that it might be an adult. I don't know why. Serial killers are more likely to be adults.
Also, why are there only two people in town that these idiots think can operate a computer and a camera?
Sigh.
Dana points out that there might be a fault in their logic. They're assuming that someone broke into the school computer to get the information about student birthdays but there used to be paper copies of all the student files before everything was computerized. They track down Joe to ask him about the files but he told them he threw them in the incinerator ages ago.
That's a dead end so they think about it some more. Robyn remembers that Derek keeps saying she predicted the murders and it finally dawns on her that the victims all died the day their horoscopes predicted bad things for them. They check to see when she predicted a bad day for Leo and discover it will be the next Tuesday. She quickly changes the horoscope and hopes that it will fix the issue and no one will have to die.
Chapter Eighteen. “LEO: Avoid bad advice from well-meaning friends. Follow your instincts, but be careful when making decisions.”
When Robyn gets to school on Friday morning, she finds that the horoscope for Leo on Tuesday has been changed to predict a bad day. They head to the newspaper office to see if they can figure out who changed it. The advisor says that she turned over all the paper copies of the columns over to Joe so he could burn them. They race to find Joe but the papers have already been burned and there's no way for them to see how the column was changed.
Debi continues to insist that Jeff is the killer and Robyn is a little conflicted. She doesn't want to believe it but it's starting to seep into her head anyway.
Chapter Nineteen. “LEO: Enjoy yourself. Good things may come of the weekend.”
We skip to Saturday. Robyn is getting ready for the SCA meeting. It's her turn to work in the food tent so she's dressed as a serving wench in a low-cut blouse and a long skirt. Jeff ends up borrowing a tunic and some tights from Robyn's dad since he doesn't have a costume of his own. Robyn thinks he looks pretty good in it and he definitely likes what she's wearing. They go to the event and Adams spends multiple pages describing it but I can't be bothered because it has nothing to do with the plot.
Chapter Twenty. “AQUARIUS: Don't get distracted by others today. Trouble comes calling, but ignore it and mind your own business.”
Debi is still convinced that Jeff is the killer. She thinks that she and Robyn should watch his house on Tuesday night to see if he goes to kill anyone. Robyn doesn't think that's a good idea. There are only 4 female Leos in their grade and she's one of them. She's warned all the others to stay in on Tuesday and she thinks she should too. Debi reminds her that Natalie was killed in her own house and says that Robyn should be fine if they're together. I guess I missed the part where Debi was a giant proficient in martial arts or carried a huge ass weapon.
On Tuesday, Debi tells Jeff that Robyn will be sleeping over at her house. I don't know why. She seems to think it was an amazing ploy to foil the killing. Oooooookay. As they're leaving the school, they run into Joe who mentions he'll be over at Robyn's house later to pick up something from her dad. She tells him she'll be at Debi's house because she's a fucking moron who has no sense of self-preservation at all. He mentions that he's the one who commissioned the Vlad the Impaler piece that Robyn's dad never even made.
We skip ahead to that evening. At about 8:00, the girls tell Debi's parents that they're going to go out for tacos. Since Debi's parents think the killer (Derek) is behind bars, they have no issues with this. They get to Jeff's house just in time to see him leaving. He heads to Debi's house.
Chapter Twenty-One. “LEO: Your worst nightmares come true. Positive thinking won't help you here.”
Jeff isn't really heading to Debi's house. He's walking past it on his way to the school. The girls trail him, staying in the shadows. Jeff slips inside the school and the girls follow. They can see a light coming from the basement. Somehow. Robyn decides she's going to stay by the basement door to watch for him when he comes out and Debi runs off to find a phone to call the police.
Robyn ends up going down the basement stairs. Jeff is in Joe's office, searching through some papers in a box. Robyn ends up making a sound and Jeff looks up. She says that Debi is calling the police on him and he's really hurt that she thinks he's the killer. She ends up apologizing and the two realize they're in love with each other.
Good timing.
Jeff says he's searching for the paper copies of the school records. Robyn tells him that Joe said he burned them and Jeff tells her that they can't exactly trust his word on that. Because Jeff is the only non-idiot in this book. They search the room and then, for some reason, Jeff unrolls a carpet standing in the corner. On the carpet is painted a giant Zodiac circle. Under each of the signs is a manila folder containing the school records. Under the first four are pictures of the victims. Robyn realizes the folder under Leo belongs to her. Before she can react much, Joe comes out of nowhere and knocks Jeff out.
Chapter Twenty-Two. There is no horoscope for this one.
Joe is wearing a glove that looks like Freddy Kruger's glove except that it's furry. He tells her it's his lion's paw. Joe tells her that he really doesn't want to hurt her but he has to. He explains that's he's always had really bad luck – his parents were too poor to send him to college, his leg is full of shrapnel from Vietnam, he didn't get the GI scholarship because he didn't serve long enough and when he got back to town, the only job he could get was janitorial.
He goes on to tell her that the gods of the Zodiac needed someone to serve them and he volunteered as tribute in a bid to change his luck. He serves the “prophetess” who happens to be the person who writes the horoscope column for the school paper. He doesn't know that it's Robyn because she uses a pen name. He believes that the prophetess has instructed him to sacrifice one person for each sign using a special weapon. When the wheel is complete, he'll receive all the luck that the sacrifices forfeited in death. He's excited to have Robyn here because she can die on the carpet and let her blood mix with the wheel. He thinks that will make it better somehow. He promises to make it fast for her.
Chapter Twenty-Three. No horoscope.
Robyn tells him that she's the prophetess and she proves it by telling him about the changed column. He accuses her of trying to cheat the prophecy and she says that the gods of the Zodiac told her to change it and now they are mad at him for altering her words. She reminds him that if Jeff and Debi die, the gods will be very unhappy with him because it's not their turn. Basically she just tells him that he's royally fucking everything up and he's not going to get his reward. I'm not sure this is the best way to go but she can be as dumb as she wants.
Robyn asks Joe what his sign is and he says it's Leo. She tells him that the gods want him to sacrifice himself because he made them angry and failed them. He says that they want him to kill her instead because she changed their words. He slashes out at her but she dodges him so he only gets her back. She throws some bottles at him and he ends up slashing a bottle of ammonia, sending the fumes throughout the room. Choking and coughing, Robyn climbs to the top of the stairs but he's locked the door and she's trapped.
Chapter Twenty-Four. No horoscope.
Jeff wakes up from the ammonia fumes. For some reason, Joe suddenly decides that he should sacrifice Debi instead. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. He just says 'hey, maybe this will work' and runs up the stairs. He slashes at Robyn's arm and then throws her down into the basement again before opening the door and running off. I guess he locks it again because when Jeff and Robyn get to the top, they can't get out. Jeff takes a hammer and starts bashing at the lock. Finally it opens.
They decide that he's probably going to kill Debi with water because she's an Aquarius so they check the bathrooms before deciding to head outside to check the pond where they catch frogs for biology.
Chapter Twenty-Five. “AQUARIUS: A time to stick with friends. Avoid exercise and feeling sorry for yourself.”
While Robyn and Jeff were busy in the basement, Debi was locked in the boys' room. She stands on a urinal to reach a very small window and uses her flashlight to do SOS in morse code. She does it until her hand cramps and then Joe comes back for her. He knocks her out and drags her from the room.
Now we're back with Robyn and Jeff who have already checked the boys' room and moved on to the pond. They get to the pond right after Joe who carries Debi into it. Jeff runs at him, hitting him in the back and causing him to drop Debi. Robyn drags Debi out of the pond as Jeff and Joe fight. Robyn runs to help and ends up punching Joe so hard he loses his footing and falls backwards. He disappears under the water because suddenly it's too deep for him to stand up even though he'd been standing just fine a second before. Jeff tells her that Joe can't swim with his bum leg which is dumb because you can swim with one leg. Whatever. They assume Joe dies.
Chapter Twenty-Six. “LEO & AQUARIUS: Enough hard work – it's time for a rest and a reevaluation of your life.”
That was dumb. Horoscopes don't double up like that.
The book ends with Robyn and Jeff making out, Debi apologizing and the police arriving to save the day way too late. Adams ends the book with this: “People lived, died and loved – and the stars watched over them.”
You knew it was Joe, right? That was the most effing Justin situation since actual Justin existed. It was so obvious.
And, no, I can't really remember why I kept this book and read it more than once. I'm guessing it was Jeff. I do have a soft spot for those shy, nerdy guys.
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