Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/invisible man is.
Tag Line: Um.....None. It just tells us Nixon is the three-time winner of the Edgar Award. ((Note from me: the Edgar awards are named after Poe and given out to the best in mystery fiction, non-fiction, television, film and theater. To be clear, she didn't win for this book. It's not the best of anything.))From the Back of the Book: Caught in a violent storm, Lisa and her three friends take refuse in an old deserted house. Inside are strewn odd tricks and gadgets - the props of a practiced magician. Doors slam shut. The phones go dead. A ghostly hand creeps across the mantel. But the group's fascination at these effects quickly turns to horror. Lisa has always dreamed of being a magician. Now her life - and the lives of her friends - depend on her skill. Because one by one the tricks are becoming more sinister, luring the group closer and closer to the terrible secret at the end of the corridor.
This book was published in 1983 and it's most definitely NOT my first time reading it. I read it so many times in grade school that they should have just let me keep the copy. I 💖loved💖 this book so much. When I came across it at a UBS recently, I was excited to buy it and read it again. I....um.....didn't love it so much as an adult. In fact, I can't figure out what I loved so much as a kid. None of the characters are particularly amazing and the plot is just so-so. Maybe I was just fascinated by magic at that age? Who knows.
We begin with our protagonist Lisa
in a car with her three drama partners: Bo, Julian and
Teena. They're on their way home from a competition that went
really, really badly and they're all grumpy and on edge. It doesn't
help that it's raining and dark and they're lost. It's important to
note that they aren't friends despite what the back of the book said. Most of them don't even really like
each other. They're only together because they've been assigned to
be.
Bo is your stereotypical jock. He took
the class because he needed an easy grade to stay eligible for football. He's big and beefy and
determined to show how manly he is at all times. Julian is quieter.
He keeps to himself. Lisa describes him as tall and slender. Bo
thinks he's gay and acts like a total dick about it at every
opportunity so we pretty much hate Bo, mmmmkay?
They'd done a mime act for the
competition wearing black turtlenecks and tights. I only mention
this because I vaguely remember the outfits being important later.
The mime act was Lisa's idea and the others are pretty pissed at her
because they did so poorly. Bo makes some crack about tights not
being for “real men” but clearly implies they're okay for Julian.
I don't know what to call this asshole. If Julian was actually gay,
Bo would be a homophobe. Since Julian isn't actually gay, Bo is
what?
Times Bo is a fuckwad? 1
The car starts acting funny and Bo
tells Lisa to roll her window down so she can see if there are any
houses nearby. She sees lights up ahead and directs Bo into the driveway of a large, L-shaped house. The car barely makes it before
dying. Teena is pretty much in a panic right now. Clearly the girl
is not good in a crisis. Julian calmly tells her they'll just ask to
use the phone. His dad is a member of Triple A and they'll come tow
them back to Dallas where they can stay until one of their parents
comes to rescue them.
They get out of the car and make a run
through the pouring rain to get to the front porch. They can hear a TV
blaring loudly through the front door. Lisa rings the doorbell and
the door is opened almost immediately by a big man with bug-eyes and
a thick black beard. He's clearly startled to see them and asks what
they're doing there. They all stumble over each other trying to
explain who they are and what they need.
Julian finally steps forward and he
bumps into Lisa. She starts to fall off the porch and he gently
grabs her and pulls her back into place. Lisa is surprised by how
strong he is for such a scrawny looking guy. He explains to the man
that he needs to call Triple A to get Bo's car towed. The man
reluctantly lets them in and tells Julian he can use the phone in the
living room. Julian picks it up to dial and then asks Black Beard
what his address is. Black Beard looks at him blankly and then
mutters “Cherry Road”. Teena pipes up with the house numbers
that she saw outside. None of them seem to think it's odd that he
doesn't know his own address.
Protagonists who seriously need to
watch Discovery ID? Check.
Julian asks if they can turn down the
TV and the man nervously goes to turn it off. Lisa thinks they
must have really startled him, appearing on his doorstep so late in
the middle of a storm. She notes that he's wearing a coat and that
it's wet and thinks he must have just gotten home from somewhere.
Julian makes his phone call and
announces that a tow truck should be there in about half an hour. He
tells Black Beard that they'll just wait out in the car for help to
come but Black Beard stops them. He tells them they can stay in the
living room and watch some TV. He and his wife are on their way out
to a party. Lisa doesn't like the nervous way he keeps looking over
his shoulder down the dark hall and she says they should really wait
with the car. None of the others want to go back out there, though,
and they decide to wait in the house after all.
A door slams from somewhere down the
hall and a woman's voice is heard, talking as she walks toward the
living room. The only thing Lisa tells us about her is that she's wearing tight pants. She's saying something about how they never should have
come back to give him his jacket because he's not there and everything's weird. When she
sees the kids, she gets mad at Black Beard and accuses him of making
more deals with hitchhikers. He tells her the kids are waiting for
Triple A and they should get a move on or they'll be late for the
party. The woman clearly has no idea what he's talking about and she
doesn't cover for it very well. Eventually he gets her herded out
the door and the kids are alone in the house.
Lisa is immediately suspicious. Both
of them were wet so they'd clearly been out in the rain and she
picked up on the fact that the woman didn't know anything about a
party. Bo tells her to stop being so nosy and he goes to sit down
and watch TV. The boys seem pretty okay with everything but the
girls are nervous. Neither of them like being in a stranger's home
alone. I don't think they should worry so much. This is clearly not
Black Beard's home and they're just too stupid to realize it.
Odds of this being Black Beard's house:
1%. The dude didn't even know his address.
Teena mentions being hungry and Bo
tells her she could stand to skip a meal or two.
Times Bo is a fuckwad? 2
The three of them (Julian excepted)
start to squabble. Lisa finally calls a stop to it, saying they're
all disappointed in their showing at the tournament and just lashing
out at each other. Bo says he doesn't give a fuck about the
tournament or drama in general. His dad isn't going to care that he
botched the competition because his dad hates it that he's involved
in such a “gay” activity anyway.
Times Bo is a fuckwad? 3
Somehow this segues into a discussion
about what they want to be when they grow up. Don't ask me how. It
makes very little sense. Anyway, Bo is going to be an athlete of
course and Julian says he's going to be a doctor. It isn't really
his choice though – his dad and grandpa are both doctors and
expecting him to follow in their footsteps. Teena wants to be the
first black woman on the Supreme Court. When Teena asks Lisa, Lisa
gets a stomachache. She's working her ass off trying to live up to
the stellar example of her older brother and sister and it's killing
her. She doesn't have any dreams other than making good enough
grades to please her parents.
Restless, Lisa stands up and begins to
walk around. The room is full of really good antiques and expensive
knick-knacks. She becomes more and more convinced that Black Beard
and his “wife” Tight Pants don't really belong in the
house at all. She proposes her theory to the others, pointing out
that Black Beard never told them his name, didn't seem to mind
leaving four strangers in his house and the woman wasn't wearing a
wedding ring or carrying a purse. I think the last two things are
reaching. I don't wear a wedding ring most of the time because my
fingers swell and I leave the house without a purse all the time.
But at least she's thinking.
In the midst of all of this, Lisa
reveals that she wanted to be a magician when she was younger and
that she really studied magic. It's just as out of place as that
life goals conversation earlier. I'm going to give it
a................
Clunk.
Bo tells Lisa to calm her tits. Triple
A will be there any moment. Lisa says she hopes Triple A gets there
before the true owner of the house does. They discuss what Black
Beard and Tight Pants could have been doing in the house. Burglary
is suggested but rejected because neither of them left with anything.
Of course, they could have been loading things into their car before
the kids got there but we're not dealing with Nancy Drew and the
Hardy boys here. Teena remembers Tight Pants saying something about
returning a jacket but the guy not being there. She also remembers
something about Black Beard picking up hitchhikers. They wonder if
Black Beard and Tight Pants dropped a hitchhiker off at the house,
drove off, realized he left a jacket, brought it back and discovered
the hitchhiker was no longer around.
Lisa decides that maybe she should call
her parents and let them know what happened. Her mom answers and
asks immediately if Lisa's team won. When Lisa says no, her mom is
disappointed. She launches into a story about Lisa's sister getting
an article accepted into the Law Review and Lisa is forced to stand
there and endure it. Finally she tells her mom that they broke down
and gives her the address and phone number of the house. No one ever
gave her the phone number so it's weird that she knows it. I'm guessing it must have been written on
the phone. Back in the old days, phones had this little window where
you could write your number down. I always wondered why anyone would
bother. I guess for cases like this. As soon as she gives her mom
the information, the phone goes dead.
Lisa looks around the room and
discovers a couple of things that make her think the person that owns
the house might be a magician.
The storm is still raging outside and the
water is really rising in the driveway. The girls start to worry
about their bags in the car. Their outfits for the competition are in them and they don't want to have to replace them if water gets into Bo's car. Julian and Bo decide to run out and retrieve everything so
it doesn't get ruined or lost. They bring everything in and tell the
girls that the bottom of the driveway is flooded but the house is on
higher land so it should be fine.
Lisa is still wandering around the
living room. Because the house is L-shaped, there are two long
hallways off the room. She looks down one and can see a dining room
at the end of it. She thinks the kitchen must be just beyond that.
Across the room is a second long hallway full of closed doors. She
doesn't like this hallway. It seems darker than the first and
unnaturally quiet. She tells Julian that she thinks there's somebody
down there. He asks if she heard something to give her that idea and
she says that it's just a feeling. He thinks if there was someone
else in the house that they would introduce themselves. She counters
that with “not if they're not alive”.
Lisa goes on to tell the others that
she's “always been good at ESP”.
Odds that Lisa is ACTUALLY good at ESP: -200%
There's a sudden pounding on the door
and they think it's Triple A but it's just a middle-aged woman asking
where Gracie Ella is. Apparently Gracie Ella is the elderly
owner of the house. She lives there alone and definitely not with
Black Beard or Tight Pants. The neighbor says Gracie Ella went into
Dallas that morning to do some shopping and must have decided to stay
overnight because of the storm. She saw the strange car in the drive
and decided to come check things out. Lisa worries that Gracie Ella
might be the dead presence she senses down the dark hallway but she
doesn't voice that out loud.
Odds that Gracie Ella is dead in the
house: 50%.
The neighbor (her name is Lonnie)
asks them all to write down their full names and addresses because
she wants record of them in case they turn out to be up to no good.
They rush to do what she asks. Lisa asks her if Gracie Ella is a
magician. Lonnie says her dead husband was. He called himself
Chamberlain the Great. He died in a fire a few years ago and
Gracie Ella used the insurance money to buy the house. Lonnie says
that Gracie Ella is a medium and she communes with the dead.
This is
getting ludicrous. Why did I like this book? A better question is
why do I reread the books I remember liking as a kid because I always
end up hating them as an adult. 😞
Lonnie tells them that one of the rooms
in the dark hall was Gracie Ella's séance room. It's painted
completely black (even the ceiling). Gracie Ella retired, though, so
now it's just used to store C the G's magic stuff. She warns them that the power is likely to go out and tells them where the candles are so they can prepare ahead of time. Then Lonnie leaves,
warning them that she'll give the sheriff their names and addresses
if anything goes amiss.
After she's gone, Lisa says she wants
to go check out C the G's magic props. Bo and Julian both tell her
that she can't go poking through Gracie Ella's things without
permission but Lisa doesn't seem to see the problem with it. She
thinks because she's interested it's okay. Somehow......and I don't
know how.....this leads to Bo making fun of Julian for taking ballet.
Times Bo is a fuckwad? 4
They're all standing around generally
being dicks to each other when they hear something move from
somewhere in the house. It scares them all into silence but they
can't figure out what it was or where it came from.
The tow truck driver finally arrives
with bad news. He can't repair the car in the rain and his truck
will only hold two other people. Julian says the girls should go and
Bo backs him up. Lisa doesn't want to leave the boys alone in the
house, though. She explains the entire situation to Sam the
driver and tells him that they're worried someone might be in one of
the rooms down the dark hall. Sam goes to look. He comes back out
pale and screaming and then promptly faints in the hall.
Julian decides they need to get a glass
of water to throw in Sam's face to wake him. He and Lisa start to
head for the kitchen. Teena ends up joining them, leaving Bo with
Sam. When they get to the kitchen they realize the back door has
been kicked in. They start trading theories about what happened.
The one they end up on is that Black Beard and Tight Pants pick up a
hitchhiker. The hitchhiker asks to be let off at the bottom of the
drive. BB and TP drive off but realize the hitchhiker left his
jacket in the car. They return to the house to give it to him. Here
the story gets vague. Either the hitchhiker has kicked in the back
door and BB and TP take advantage of that to gain entry or BB and TP
are the ones who kicked in the door.
They stand there and talk so long that
Bo decides to go find them. As soon as he leaves, Sam comes to and
escapes. He takes the tow truck with him but leaves Bo's car behind.
Everyone starts panicking and blaming each other. It gets them
nowhere. Then they start talk about their life ambitions again
because that's apparently what you do when you find yourself in a
stranger's home with a potential dead body and a murderer lurking
about. It turns out Bo doesn't love football but can't figure out
what else he's good for. Teena doesn't really want to be a lawyer
but it means a lot to her parents. Lisa wants to be a magician at
Six Flags and Julian wants to go to New York and join a ballet
troupe. I'm glad Nixon told us all that. It's super important.
Teena and Lisa have to go to the
bathroom so they take care of that and Julian goes into the kitchen
to find food. Teena and Lisa join him when they're done and they all
make cheese sandwiches. When the sandwiches are done, they decide to
go get Bo and let him know they're eating. As they approach the
living room, they can see the back of Bo's head over the top of one
of the chairs. To their surprise they can see another head over the
top of the chair next to his. Teena is too afraid to continue but
Lisa grabs Julian's hand and they walk around the front of the
chairs. Bo is sound asleep. The second head is actually made of
plaster and propped up on the pillows of the chair.
They all sit down and talk about who
they think might be in the house. The hitchhiker is still a
possibility as is Gracie Ella. Lisa wonders if maybe she's
frightened of the intruders and trying to scare them away.
I'm going to be really honest here. I
can't remember who the bad guy actually is. It's been a really long
time since I read this book.
Odds that the hitchhiker is the bad
guy: 33%
Odds that Gracie Ella is the bad guy:
1%. It doesn't seem like something an old lady would do.
Odds that C the G is actually alive and
is the bad guy: 33%
Odds that we haven't met the bad guy
yet: 33%
Teen thinks the bad guy is a
poltergeist.
Odds that bad guy is a poltergeist: 0%.
Come on. This isn't a Cooney, Teena. Get yourself together.
The power suddenly goes out, plunging
them into darkness. They kick themselves for not getting the candles
ready like Lonnie suggested eons ago. Julian has a very
small flashlight on his key chain and Bo pauses to make fun of him
for being so useless and unmanly which is just stupid because the
flashlight is the only reason they find the candles and matches at
all.
Times that Bo is a fuckwad? 5
In the drawer with the candles, Lisa
finds a treasure trove of C the G memorabilia. She pulls it out,
excited to look at it but Bo takes it away from her. He says they
need to find candle holders so they can get more light. He has a
point in this case. Plus, they aren't her things to be looking
through anyway. Lisa really doesn't mind being a Nosy Parker. Lisa
refuses to do anything but look through the pictures and clippings, though, and Bo ends up heading to the dining room with Teena to try to
find candle holders.
Lisa and Julian look through the
clippings but mostly talk about how he wants to be a dancer and she
wants to be a magician AGAIN. For fucks sake, Nixon, WE GOT THIS
PART ALREADY. Lisa notices how handsome Julian is in the candlelight
and when he steps close behind her to read over her shoulder, she
leans back against him, enjoying his nearness. Just when things
started to get interesting with the two of them, Teena and Bo come
back with a candelabra and some candlesticks. They want to light all
the candles but Julian encourages them not too. There's a lot of
night left and no telling when or if the lights will come back on.
Lisa still wants to snoop through the
magic room but the others talk her out of it. They think it would be
safer for them all to stay put in the living room together. She
finally gives in but it's reluctant. I can't believe this bitch
thinks it's okay to just go snooping through someone else's house
without permission.
They're all a little spooked and
rattled so they decide to tell jokes. Bo tells a stupid one. Julian
tells a better one but it goes over Bo's head. Lisa decides to tell
a Knock Knock joke. When she says “Knock Knock” a voice whispers
“Who's there?” and scares them. They all accuse Bo of doing it
but he says he didn't. No one believes him.
Odds that Bo is the one who whispered
“Who's there?”: 1%. These people are so dumb.
They're all sitting around and Lisa
starts daydreaming. She's ripped back to reality when Teena yells at
her to stop tapping her fingers. She's not tapping anything.
Suddenly they realize it's coming from the mantle where a disembodied
hand is tapping away. Everyone but Lisa is petrified. She jumps up
and grabs the hand, telling them it's wax. It works with wires and a
metal plate attached to a battery. Lisa tells them that magicians
use them to divert attention so they can do something they don't want
the audience to see. They think that maybe whoever is in the house
is trying to scare them away from the living room in particular.
Bo wants to move to the kitchen and set
up camp there. It might be because he's hungry and wants a snack. I
guess they just left all those cheese sandwiches in there earlier.
Teena refuses to go to the kitchen because it will take them past the
magic room and Lisa will want to go in again. While they're standing
there arguing, a glowing ball with long gauzy strings comes floating
down the dark hall. It seems to be trying to lead them back into that
awful back room where Sam lost his shit.
They decide to relocate to the kitchen
after all. They take all the candles and matches with them along
with their bags and all the things Lisa found in that drawer. They
go into the kitchen and start making sandwiches all over again. I
guess Nixon forgot they already did this. Or maybe the bad guy ate
them. But still, one of them should have mentioned the missing plate
of cheese sandwiches. Bo makes some disgusting crack about the girls
practicing for their life as barefoot, pregnant sandwich makers.
Times Bo is a fuckwad? 6
They eat their sandwiches and talk
AGAIN about their futures. This is way beyond ridiculous at this
point. Normal teenage kids in a strange house with a bad guy and/or
ghost would NOT be sitting talking about what they want to be when
they grow up.
While they're talking about Bo's future
plans to run his daddy's car lot, there's a scratching and whining at
the back door. Bo goes to investigate and finds a big black lab
outside. The water is super high and they're worried the dog might
drown if left outside so they bring her in. They dry her with
dishtowels and feed her a sandwich. she seems to like Bo a lot which
is just super unrealistic because Bo is a fuckwad and a dog should be
able to sense that.
Lisa does a few stupid magic tricks to
amuse them and keep them awake. It's just after 2am now and they're
all exhausted. After the tricks are done, they discover the dog is
missing. No one knows where she went. Bo wants to go after her but
the others convince him that it's a bad idea.
Eventually the boys have to go to the
bathroom. The girls are supposed to stay in the kitchen. Before he
leaves, Julian squeezes Lisa's hand and tells her to be safe. She
watches him go, thinking about how much she wants him to hold her
because “her whole body was responding to him”. Whoa, Nixon.
Simmer down.
Teena and Lisa SIT THERE AND TALK ABOUT
THEIR FUTURES AGAIN. I'm about to lose my mind with the
repetitiveness of this. Lisa whines about how she'll never live up
to her older siblings in her parents' eyes. Oh, my, God, these kids
would NOT BE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW!!!
After that interlude, Lisa continues to
look through the pictures. She finds one that identifies C the G as
Harry Polowski and his wife as Gladys. Lisa wonders why Gracie Ella
changed her name. They start to talk about possible reasons and Lisa
wonders if Gracie Ella might have killed her husband for the
insurance money. C the G was killed in a fire backstage before one
of his shows. His body was badly burned. Teena wonders how they
knew it was him for sure and Lisa said they probably based it on his
clothing. Sounds like he faked his own death to me.
Odds that C the G perished in the fire:
20%
They discuss this for awhile and then
realize that the boys have been gone way too long. Lisa goes to the
door to see if she can hear anything or see anything. There's a
candle moving down the hall toward her. It turns out to be Julian.
He says Bo took off to find the dog and he's searched everywhere and
can't find him. They decide to all go search together. They leave
the lit candelabra on the kitchen table so the room will be lit up
when they come back.
As they walk down the hall, Julian
comments that he wishes he knew if Gracie Ella came back from her
shopping trip or not. Lisa says they can check the garage and see if
her car is in there. When they get to the door, it's locked. Julian
thinks he can pick it but he needs something long and thin. Teena
volunteers to go back to the kitchen alone.....which.....no.....would
NOT HAPPEN. Julian is starting to tell Lisa that he's warm for her
form when Teena screeches in the distance.
They go running and end up colliding
with Teena who is running from the kitchen. She tells them that she
was digging a skewer out of the drawer when she realized the light
behind her was gone. She felt someone behind her and then saw an arm
and hand completely covered in black reach for her candle. She
grabbed the candle and struck out with the skewer. Julian examines
it and finds blood. Now they know how the bad guy is getting around
without them seeing him. He's completely covered in black in a black
house. It's an old magician trick.
They use the skewer to open the door
and, sure enough, Gracie Ella's car is parked inside. They also find
the dog. She was shut up in the car for some reason. Julian goes to
let her out and then checks the car and trunk to make sure Bo isn't
hidden in there too. They decide to let the dog go in hopes that
she'll track Bo and take them to him. It seems dumb to me but it
actually works.
The dog leads them to one of the
bedrooms in the bad hallway. When they walk in, they think they see
Bo's decapitated head on a chair but Lisa reveals it to be an
illusion. Bo is alive but unconscious and Lisa is pretty sure he's
been hit over the head. Julian tends to him and eventually he wakes
up and they make their way back to the kitchen.
The kitchen is full of rain and wind
now. The back door has been completely taken off its hinges and they
know they can't stay there anymore. To their horror they see a
headless body sitting at the table but it turns out to be Lisa's
discarded sweater stuffed with newspapers to look like a body.
There seems to be a huge decapitation
theme going on here but none of these idiots seems to notice.
The clippings and pictures Lisa found
are now gone. They decide to go to the bedroom with the bathroom
they've been using. The door has a lock and Julian turns it giving
them all a sense of safety. Bo lays down for awhile, using Teena's
lap for a pillow. Lisa and Julian huddle together. He whispers that
he always wanted to ask her out but he was afraid she'd turn him
down.
Time passes but they don't know how
much. Bo's watch is now missing. They talk about their next plan of
action. Bo just wants to wait until daylight and then walk out of
there. Lisa thinks they should figure out who is in the house.
FINALLY Bo mentions how weird it is that all the pranks have to do
with heads and Lisa thinks there might be some significance in that.
YOU THINK?
Odds that Gracie Ella is headless
somewhere in the house: 75%
Odds that the hitchhiker is headless
somewhere in the house: 75%
I know that doesn't add up to 100% but
for all I know they're BOTH headless somewhere in the house.
They shoot around some theories again.
Lisa thinks C the G is still alive. She thinks that he switched
places with an assistant or something. Gracie Ella collected the
insurance money either knowing that C the G was actually alive or
believing he was dead and then she ran off with it. C the G spent
years looking for her and finally tracked her down. It's fairly
reasonable. I'll give her a gold star.
Bo suddenly remembers that he took a
bunch of letters from Lisa earlier and he's had them shoved into his
pocket the entire time. He pulls them out and the other three go to
work reading them. Some are addressed to Gladys and some to Gracie
but they're all from the same person. Gladys's sister. The older
ones talk about how C the G was an abusive asshole and Gladys needed
to escape. After the fire, they began to be addressed to Gracie and
they were mostly about whether C the G was actually dead. Someone
was harassing the sister, making silent phone calls and leaving dead
animals in her car. The sister eventually died. Lisa wonders if C
the G got Gracie's address from the sister's home.
Julian and Lisa are sure that Gracie
Ella is dead and probably in that back room that scared Sam so bad. Julian says he thinks the bad guy has been trying to
lure them into that room all night. They decide they need to somehow
fight the guy or they're all going to end up dead. Lisa suggests
they put on their mime costumes. She and Teena both have extra
tights they can use to cover their faces and hands. They'll be
totally black and invisible. Lisa wants to make their big stand in
the magic/seance room because it's painted black and will be the darkest.
They make their hand and head coverings
and then Lisa instructs them to put their regular clothes on over the
black ones and put the coverings in their pockets. She doesn't want
the bad guy to know what they're doing right away. When they're
prepared, they hesitate. Teena wants to try to just stick it out in
that room for the rest of the night and the boys are inclined to
agree with her.
Suddenly there's a pounding on the
front door and a voice yells out “Police”. Like idiots they all
go running out to open the door. Of course, there's no one there.
They hear a pounding sound in the
distance and realize the bad guy has destroyed the lock on the
bedroom door that they'd taken refuge in. They can't go back that
way. The dog hears the hammering and goes running that way. They
hear a yelp and a thump and Bo loses his mind. He tries to charge
after it but Julian somehow manages to hold him back.
AND THEN THEY STAND THERE AND DISCUSS
THEIR FUCKING FUTURES AGAIN. Lisa says they're all illusionists.
Julian is going to be a doctor but his real self will be dancing
instead. And on and on and on.
Teena thinks that C the G is doing all
this because he misses having an audience. Julian doesn't think it's
that innocent but she doesn't want to listen to him. She thinks they
can get on his good side by applauding and cheering for him and then
maybe he'll let them go. Bo agrees with her and Lisa decides to go
along. Julian is the only one who thinks it's a bad idea. He might
be the only smart one in the bunch right now.
They sit in chairs facing the center of
the room and yell out for C the G to come show them some tricks. It
works and he pulls scarves and flowers from a cane. They cheer and
applaud. He then pulls a line of paper dolls out of a hat. They're
all headless. He uses some flash powder to disorient them all and
then abducts Teena. They hear her scream and realize she's in the
magic room. They find her in the case where swords are supposed to
be shoved through.
C the G starts shoving swords into the
cabinet and Teena screams. Lisa quickly explains how the trick
works. The first sword is real but the rest are fake. They have
places on them where she can snap them apart as soon as they come
into the cabinet. As soon as she explains the trick, C the G stops
and they're able to take Teena out of the cabinet.
Lisa tells them that she's going to
challenge C the G to a magic showdown. She'll put Bo and Julian in
the magic cabinets. They'll take off their street clothes so they're
left in the black ones and creep out the back so it looks like they
disappeared. She'll distract C the G using Teena in a trick and then Bo
and Julian can sneak around behind him. Teena asks what kind of
trick she'll be in and Lisa tells her that she'll be locked in a
chest. She's to take off her street clothes as well and then escape
out the back. Lisa isn't entirely sure whether the cabinet will have
a panel that slides or a door that collapses in but she promises to
do what she can to silently let Teena know how to get out.
Bo is doubtful. C the G is a
professional magician and Lisa isn't even really an amateur. She
hasn't performed in years. He thinks they don't have a chance but
Julian backs her up and throws his support behind her plan.
Of course none of this matters if C the
G has been listening to them this entire time. Sigh.
Lisa shouts to the room at large that
she challenges C the G to a magic duel. He only laughs at first but
she trash talks him a bit, telling him that his skills are probably
sad and rusty and he's not accepting because he knows she'll beat
him. Finally, out the darkness, a voice says “I accept.”
Lisa puts Julian and Bo in the cabinets
and hopes for the best. She's pretty confident that Julian will pull it off but she wonders if Bo is going to fuck everything up
completely. She manages to make them 'disappear' without a
hitch. Then she puts Teena in the chest. Immediately things go
wrong. The panel that's supposed to open up gets stuck. Lisa tries
to talk to cover but she knows C the G knows something went wrong
because he starts laughing and gets closer to him. She can see his
outline now. Bo and Julian should be out of the cabinets by now but
she doesn't hear any sign of them. C the G is reaching for her when
two dark shapes come flying through the air and C the G goes down
hard on the floor.
Lisa grabs the candelabra and lights up
the area. Bo is sitting on C the G and Julian is tying him up with
some of the rope laying around the room. I hope it's not trick rope
or something. They get him tied up and then get Teena out of the
chest. She's surprised the plan worked and, to be honest, so am I.
They drag C the G into the living room where they'll be more
comfortable. He's ranting and raving the entire time about his bitch
of a wife. Bo leaves to go hunt down the dog. He reappears a few
minutes later carrying it and Lisa can see tears on his face but Bo
says the dog is okay and he's going to nurse it back to health.
You can't just steal someone's dog, Bo.
It probably belongs to some little kid down the road.
The sit down and TALK ABOUT THEIR
FUTURE PLANS AGAIN. OH MY GOD I'M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND. THIS IS
NOT REALISTIC AT ALL.
The phone rings – apparently back in
order – and it's Lonnie calling to see if everything is okay.
Sam the tow truck driver has been in contact with the sheriff and
he's on the way out there. How the neighbor knows this is beyond me.
It doesn't make sense but neither does anything else.
As they wait for the sheriff they
wonder what happened to Gracie Ella. Lisa is sure she knows. After
all, C the G left them a lot of hints.
You know, it just occurred to me that C
the G was the hitchhiker. Man, I'm slow. I think this book sucked my brains out.
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