Mirror, Mirror by DE Athkins

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the bad guy/girl/.....this is pointless.  I don't think there even IS a bad guy in this book.  Sigh.

Tag Line: Mirror, mirror, on the wall.  Who's the deadest one of all?

From the Back of the Book: Don't look now.  Dore's pretty.  She's got a good-looking guy.  Very understanding parents.  And such a devoted best friend.  But she wants more.  So when her new friend Luci offers Dore a chance to have it all, Dore decides to take it.  Now Dore is a real beauty.  And only Dore knows that beauty is also the beast..............

Note From Future Me: Luci offers NOTHING.  NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS BOOK.  NOTHING.

Sigh. Athkins, we meet again. Why, you ask?  Why would I subject myself to torture such as this?  Because Athkins, bless her little black heart, writes short books and I needed a short book to span the week between my last recap and the next Canby book. I have a bad feeling about this one, y'all.

This book was published in 1992. This is my first reading. I find this cover pretty unimpressive. I've said before that I really enjoy PH covers because they're usually campy and fun. This one is pretty boring.  (Note From Future Me: that should have been my first clue.)

We begin at a high school pep rally. The cheer routine being performed is a little on the grisly side (lots of simulated blood) and we're told that's due to Stan, the school mascot, who has a twisted sense of humor and a talent for whipping the crowd into a frenzy. In the stands watching the spectacle is our protagonist Dore and her best friend Gwen.

Dore. Hmmm. The font on the back cover was a little weird and I assumed that “r” was a “v”. I've never heard the name Dore before. Do you think it's “door” or “dory”? I hate it when I can't figure out how to say a name. I guess I'm going with “door”. Would it kill you to have a “Jane” or a “Whitney” or something, Athkins?

Gwen is screaming and pumping her fists with the crowd but Dore is bored. She and Stan are dating, and she was in on the planning process, so this is pretty much old news for her now. The pep rally wraps up and Dore and Gwen walk home. Gwen chats along the way but Dore is barely listening. She's coming off as a stuck-up bitch already. I hope that changes.

Dore arrives home and the housekeeper (Mrs B) opens the door for her. Is Dore too precious to open her own door? And isn't door-opening really a job for a butler? Sheesh. Mrs B is upset because Dore is home late and her mother was worried. Dore asserts that she told her mother about the pep rally and then she stomps up to her room.

Dore tells us that she hates being part of a crowd cheering for someone (or something) else. She likes it better when throngs of worshipping adorers cheer for her instead. I'm not making that up. She actually tells us that she loves it when she's at a beauty pageant and the entire crowd is cheering for her unparalleled beauty.

Yeah. I pretty much hate her and its page 5.

We skip ahead to the party after the football game. Dore is above it all and looking down her nose at everyone else. Stan is upset that the team won because of a field goal which he doesn't consider good enough. A couple of cheerleaders walk by and Dore's jealous side comes out. Mary in particular seems to get under Dore's skin. Dore tells us that Mary isn't as pretty as she is but she seems happier and more popular.  People like her more?  You don't say. That's a shocker.

Athkins skips ahead again and we're suddenly back in Dore's room. It's covered in picture of herself. One whole wall is mirrors and then there's also a mirror on the vanity and a lighted make-up mirror. This girl seriously likes looking at herself. Her mom comes in and they talk about Stan for a minute. Dore isn't very into him as far as I can tell but her mom encourages her to stick it out because Stan will be something big someday and that counts more than personal happiness.

Annnnnnd now we're shopping with Dore and Gwen. Holy fuck, Athkins. This is a lot of jumping around without a chapter break. They grab a drink at the mall and sit down to watch the ice skaters. Dore is moaning about how awful it is to be her and how dissatisfied she is with her entire life when Gwen notices a new girl out on the ice. The girl has fantastic hair and skates like a pro. Suddenly she stops and her chin goes up as if she is a hunter scenting prey. Her head snaps around and her eyes fixate on Dore. Dore gets chilled and tells Gwen she's ready to go home.

Days pass and Dore is getting more and more moody. She isn't sure she wants to be with Stan anymore and she isn't finding solace in her own beauty as she's always done in the past. Not only that, but she begins to hear voices mocking her and telling her that she's not all that. She goes home to put herself through a punishing workout. She purposely overdoes everything, trying to hurt herself.

Well, that's healthy.

The next morning she comes down for breakfast and we learn that her name is actually Dorothy. I can see why she goes by Dore.

When Dore gets to school that morning she's shocked to find Stan with the girl from the ice rink. The girl is standing close to him with her hand on his arm and Dore feels possessive even though she's not hot for him anymore. She goes up to mark her territory and Stan introduces the girl as Luci. Dore is expecting to be the alpha bitch in this encounter but Luci is clearly an apex predator and Dore ends up retreating.

At lunch Gwen asks if there's anything wrong between Stan and Dore and Dore shoots off a sarcastic “Why? Waiting for your big chance?” Her attention gets redirected before she sees the tell-tale blush that seems to mean Gwen is definitely waiting for her big chance. Their friend Carol joins them and Dore tells us that Carol is a real “wild card”. Whoop whoop.

They're all chatting about something that actually turns out to be completely meaningless so I'm not even going to bother recapping it when Luci shows up and asks to sit at their table. Carol bestows permission upon her and Luci sits. Carol immediately starts pumping Luci for information and Luci pretty much gives her non-answers. She says she came from somewhere hot and she's partial to apples. I guess we're supposed to think she's the devil or something. Ordinarily I'd say that was pretty far-fetched but this is Athkins. Didn't she write about haunted shoes once?

Luci manages to insert herself into the girls' after school plans and Dore is pissed that everyone seems to be accepting this girl so easily. She storms off like a child. On the way, she passes Mary's table and the cheerleader says something low under her breath that has the whole table laughing. Dore knows it's about her because people ONLY have conversations about her dontchaknow? She stares Mary down and thinks about how nice it would be if Mary met a grisly end.

Seems healthy and appropriate.

We take another time jump. I don't even know how far. Suddenly Gwen and Dore are in Dore's room talking about some party that Dore doesn't want to go to. She tells Gwen she isn't speaking to Stan because he was acting like such a panting dog around Luci. Gwen wants to go but can't go alone. She talks Dore into going with her.

I so don't care about any of this.

Also, you might be thinking that I'm half-assing this recap because it seems so choppy and disjointed.  I assure you that's not the case.  This is how the book is written and it's just as much fun to read as you'd imagine.

Dore and Gwen get to the party. Luci meets them just inside the door and offers them cups of punch. Gwen takes one, but Dore refuses. Smart girl. NEVER drink anything at a party that you didn't pour yourself or at least watch being poured. Gwen ends up going off with Luci and Dore gets all bitter about it. She decides to distract herself by dancing with all the boys. At some point, Luci comes up and taunts her about being boring and Dore responds by grabbing the nearest alcoholic beverage and downing it.

Again. Super healthy.

Dore continues to get buzzed and flirt with boys. She decides to go off with one of them. She passes Gwen on the way and notices that Gwen seems wasted. Here's where a good friend....a good PERSON....would stay with Gwen and make sure nothing bad happened to her. But Dore is not that person. She doesn't want Gwen to drag her down and decides to just leave her there. She and Random Guy (who I didn't bother to remember the name of) leave the party just as the police show up.

Fuck Gwen I guess.

Is someone going to die soon? Can it be Dore? Pretty please?

We skip to the next morning. Dore is waking up to find Luci in her room. She doesn't initially remember much from the night before and isn't even sure how she got home. Luci has a gift for Dore. It's a hand-mirror with carved animals on the back. Only they aren't animals Dore recognizes. Luci just shrugs that off and mutters that they are “pre-flood” types.

Okay. That made me laugh. One brownie point for Athkins. BUT JUST ONE!

Luci tells her that they'll talk about the night before later and she leaves.  (Note From Future Me: Yeah, they never do.)  After she's gone, Dore goes back to sleep. She has a nightmare and wakes up terrified. Her reflection in the wall of mirrors opposite her bed spooks her and she throws the hand-mirror at it. The wall mirror cracks. Somehow Dore cuts her finger on it and three drops of blood fall on the mirror.

Wasn't it three drops of blood that fell on the snow in Snow White when her mother pricked her finger?

Sorry. This book is so boring that my mind keeps wandering.

Gwen confronts her at school about abandoning her at the party. Gwen says she got sick and almost got arrested and Dore just left her there. Dore turns it back on Gwen and manages to make Gwen feel like a shit friend for complaining. It's masterful and disturbing.

Dore goes home with Luci after school. Luci lives in an impressive penthouse apartment and Dore is super jelly. Luci's butler serves them champagne and caviar and, at first, Dore doesn't care for it much. She keeps drinking and eating, though, to impress Luci and eventually it grows on her. As it does, an intense hatred for her parents takes root inside her. I don't know how these two things are connected or even if they are connected. It's Athkins, yo.

A few days later Dore is at football practice. She has her eyes set on Corbin who happens to be cheerleader Mary's boyfriend. Dore likes the idea of stealing him away. She makes eye contact with him at one point and is gratified when he smiles at her.

After practice she's waiting for some dude named Randy to drive her home. I keep forgetting to mention Randy but he's been around since the party I think. She's kind of dating him (well, it's implied that they're having sex) but Athkins doesn't really mention him much and I don't think he's had any dialogue. Corbin and Mary come out and she's thrilled when Corbin again looks her way and smiles.

Then something weird happens and it's written so very poorly that I can't even make out what it was. Something about Dore feeling arms go around her and seeing claws and then she's on the ground or something. Stan tells us that he saw her trip but it doesn't line up with what Athkins was describing. It seems like it's important but Athkins didn't bother to write it in a way that anyone could understand it so, I guess......oh, well.

Gwen and Randy appear right after Stan and the boys immediately start peeing in circles around her. I'm not entirely sure Dore ever told Stan she broke up with him. Dore seems confused and the writing is super unfocused here. I think it was supposed to come off as a stylistic choice but this whole book has been pretty unfocused so it doesn't have the impact it should. The boys argue over who is going to take her home until Gwen just says she'll do it.

I would ordinarily do an odds thing here with Gwen, Randy and Stan except I think the “bad guy” is Luci who is probably actually the devil. So it seems like a waste of colorization to do any other odds. But if the devil wasn't in play here, my odds would be on Gwen.

Gwen takes her home and gets her upstairs. Dore seem to think she was attacked by some kind of beast and she rather ridiculously asks Gwen if the circus is in town with tigers or something. Stan calls right about then to tell Dore that Randy isn't a very nice guy. He urges her to talk to one of Randy's ex-girlfriends or even one of Randy's friends because even they will tell her that Randy is bad news. Dore doesn't want to listen to any of this and she hangs up. Gwen looks really upset. She wants to know why Stan called and it seems like she's afraid Dore and Stan are going to reconcile. Dore doesn't see that though. Because why would Stan bother to look at Gwen when he's heartbroken over losing the most beautiful, amazing girl in the entire world?

After Gwen leaves the phone rings again and it's Luci. Dore tells her about being attacked by a beast but Luci seems unimpressed and ends the call. I'm wondering what the point of that even was. It didn't move the story anywhere.

Dore gets up to look in the mirror and she's horrified to see a reflection of her face with a hideous scar going from temple to chin. It's awful and makes her look like a monster. When she looks again, though, the scar is gone.

Later, Dore begins to wonder why Stan and Gwen showed up together. Um....I thought she showed up with Randy??? Whatever. Dore concludes that Stan and Gwen are a thing now and she's pissed.

The next day at lunch, Dore asks Gwen if she can borrow her English notes. There's a test the next day and Dore hasn't been taking her own notes in class. Gwen hesitates briefly, because if she gives Dore her notes she won't be able to study, but ends up turning them over.  She tells Dore that she'll need them first thing before school the next day so she can look them over before class and Dore agrees.  

I hope you have a good memory, Gwennie, because I don't think you have a prayer of getting those notes back.

Dore really enjoys that she can make Gwen jump through hoops and she thinks of Gwen as a trained dog.  She begins to throw Stan's name around just to see Gwen's reaction and even mentions that she and Randy have a limited shelf life.  Gwen freaks out because she's not at all subtle.

At home, Dore discovers Stan's name doodled in the margins of Gwen's notes. Did Gwen forget it was there or was this her passive-aggressive way of letting Dore know Stan had moved on? There's also a note that says: “Gwen – can't wait. Love, Stan”. She is instantly furious. She doesn't want Stan, but there's NO WAY that Stan is going to date Gwen. She crumbles the note up and throws it away, vowing to do the same to Gwen.

Guys. We are halfway through this book and NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. Actually we're a few pages past halfway. This is pitiful.

As predicted, Dore doesn't bother to return the notes and she's hateful to Gwen when Gwen comes up to complain that she flunked the test because she couldn't study. Dore lets Gwen know that she knows about Stan and then she walks away.

At lunch, Luci shows Dore an article in a magazine that says they are looking for an unknown actress to play a part in Hollywood's next blockbuster.  Dore is sure she can get the part. She imagines herself as a big movie star. Luci won't say for sure whether she intends to try out and Dore wonders if she could beat Luci in the audition. She's much prettier than Luci but Luci has a magnetism that Dore isn't sure she can compete with.

Corbin wanders by and Dore starts to flirt but Mary shows up and leads him away. Dore comments to Luci that she wishes Mary would die of embarrassment.

Huh?

Have you EVER said you wished someone would die of embarrassment? What a weird thing to say. Sure, I've said people should die before but I've imagined something that involves piranhas or low-flying planes or perhaps a meteor. Embarrassment is such an inefficient way to die.

We skip ahead...or sideways....could be backwards for all I know. Athkins isn't giving us a very reliable time progression here. Dore has stolen her mother's credit card and she's shopping for an audition outfit. While in the dressing room, she hears Gwen and her mother getting a dress for Gwen to wear to the school dance.  What school dance you might ask??  Beats the hell out of me.  No one's mentioned it before now.  Anyway, Gwen is going with Stan and Dore expects to go with Randy but end up with Corbin by the end of the night. She chooses a white silk suit for the audition and a slinky, form-fitting red dress for the dance. Neither are something she would have worn before, but suddenly everything looks awesome on Dore.  Why?  We NEVER FIND OUT!!!

On a rack by the fitting rooms are dresses that are being held for alterations. She notices Mary's name on one of them and sweet talks the salesperson into letting her see it. The dress is blue. That's all I know. And Dore has some kind of plan to ruin Mary's night. But we don't get to know what it is.

IS ANYTHING EVER GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK???????????????

Now it's Saturday morning. Dore's dad is staring at her all through breakfast. When she asks him why, he tells her that she's never looked so beautiful and he can't take his eyes off her.

Well, that's fucking creepy. What is it with you, Athkins? Don't think I've forgotten that brother-sister ickiness you had going on in that stupid book with the shoes. You DO realize that people aren't actually supposed to date within their own family groups, right?

Luci comes to pick Dore up. They drive recklessly through town and maybe cause a fatal accident on the cliffs. Maybe. We aren't told the resolution to that.  (OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS FUCKING BOOK)  Suddenly, they're back in town and pulling up to a car wash the cheerleaders are having. Not sure how that happened, but who cares? Mary's shirt gets caught in the trunk...........how the FUCK does that even happen?.........and Luci lurches the car forward so that Mary's shirt is torn. Then Mary loses control of the hose and she gets soaking wet.

Is this supposed to be the death by embarrassment part? Because it's super lame and Mary doesn't actually die.

I feel like we should brainstorm how this shirt thing happened. How does a person get their shirt caught in a trunk when said trunk was never opened? This seems impossible to me. I keep trying to imagine scenarios in which it could happen and none of them are realistic.

Now we're at the dance. Damn all this hopping around. It's like we're all drunk and just lurching through this story.  Maybe Athkins was drunk when she wrote this. It seems likely.  Dore is looking forward to publicly dumping Randy who hasn't done one damn thing to deserve it. She's a peach.

Dore sees Gwen headed to the locker room and she rushes to get there first. When Gwen comes in, Dore starts to slander Stan, claiming that Stan is the one who attacked her after the practice. Gwen defends Stan but Dore presses on, accusing him of being violent and uncontrollable.

Done with Gwen, Dore seeks out Mary and Corbin. She notices that Mary's dress is all one piece of fabric that drapes and wraps around the body. It's held up by a bow tied around Mary's neck. I think we can all see where this is going.

Sure enough, she manages to step on the trailing ribbon of Mary's dress and the whole thing comes unraveled leaving Mary standing there in her embarrassing beige pantyhose and boring beige bra. Corbin tries to help but Mary is so humiliated that she slaps him for his efforts. That's it for Corbin. He backs away from Mary and gives her the cold shoulder when she tries to apologize. Mary runs off.

Dore tells Randy it's over.

Some time has passed I guess. Corbin is getting the car and Dore is going to be leaving with him.  She's standing at the front steps when Stan confronts her about what she told Gwen. Dore doesn't retract her statement. She tells Stan that she knows he tried to hurt her. Stan stomps off.

Dore sees Corbin's car headed her way. But before she can begin her descent down the stairs, the thing with claws jumps out of the shadows and attacks her again. This time she hits it back and it tumbles down the stairs. She doesn't look at it and she doesn't check to see if its okay. She calmly walks out to Corbin's car as if it never happened.

More time passes. Dore is back in her room and she gets a phone call. The person on the other end calls her a murderer and hangs up. It rings a second time and this time it's Stan calling to tell her Gwen's dead. She fell down the stairs.

We're 96 pages into a 130 page book and FINALLY something happened. Sheesh.

Dore does an impressive job of gaslighting Stan into thinking he pushed Gwen down the stairs. She hangs up with him and decides to go back to sleep. Nice. Way to care about your best friend.

We're at the funeral now. Dore is sitting with Carol and Carol's small talk is making Dore extremely anxious. She feels like she's responding all wrong and making Carol suspicious. Dore ends up running from the funeral because that's the opposite of suspicious that she was aiming for. She hangs out by a tree and convinces herself that Gwen threw herself down the stairs.

Skip to my lou.......now Dore is at home sleeping. Shadows come into her room and touch her while she's sleeping making her moan and writhe. Again, Athkins, fucking creepy. What is wrong with you?

Another skip. Dore is at a photo shoot wearing a very skimpy swimsuit. She's getting photos done for the audition I think. Later she shows the proofs to Luci who thinks they're very good. Luci asks Dore if she's told her parents about the audition and Dore says she will at some point. She doesn't intend to, though. Her parents wouldn't approve of anything that might derail her from her plan to attend college. They've been putting away her pageant money for years into a college fund. Although....now that she thinks about it....they have plenty of money to send to her college without help. So what have they been doing with her money?

Dore confronts them over dinner. She asks about her money and they tell her it's been invested for her future. She now has enough to pay for four years of school plus a little extra in case she wants to go to grad school. Dore is pissed. She tells them she wants her money now and it should have been hers to spend however she wanted. They should pay for college with their money. She calls them thieves and then stomps away, screaming that they'll be sorry.

The next day is audition day. Dore gets up early, steals her mother's car and her mother's credit card and heads out of town. Luci had offered to drive, but Dore was afraid Luci would steal the audition if she came. She parks the car at her hotel and then walks over to where the audition is being held. Ahead of her, she sees Luci and she's enraged. Luci is approaching a busy street and Dore makes the decision to push her into oncoming traffic. She misses though and ends up being hit by a car herself.

The next chapter is Dore waking up and falling asleep over and over and over. She's in the hospital and she's in and out of consciousness so we're in and out of consciousness with her. It's annoying. We get snippets of info. There was no audition.  Luci made the whole thing up.  (And had a fake notice put in a magazine I guess?????)  Her face is heavily scarred now. Gwen was, indeed, the person who pushed her down both times.  Stan was the one who was calling her a murderer on the phone.  Luci has transferred to a new school and disappeared.

And then the book ends.

It ends.

That was it.

I have seven pages of notes, y'all and some of it won't make it through the editing process.

NOTHING HAPPENED IN THIS BOOK.

We weren't told what the mirror does. We weren't told who Luci really was and what she was trying to do. We weren't told why Dore seemed to be getting prettier. We weren't told why Gwen wanted to scare Dore.

SHE TOLD US NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

How the hell did this book get published?

Oh, and I totally called that Gwen thing.