Thursday, September 15, 2016

Twisted by R. L. Stine

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know how the bad guy/girl/sorority sister is.

Tag Line:  She's your sister.  Trust her.

From the Back of the Book:  Anything for a sister.  Abby would do anything to be in the school's most exclusive sorority.  And now she's got the chance.  Because the sorority sisters have asked her to join them.  All Abby has to do is get through the initiation.  That might be a problem.  Because this year, the initiation is going to be.....murder.

Validity Confession:  I'm not sure this is a true Point Horror.  It's listed on Goodreads as one but it doesn't appear on some of the other lists.  The spine has the blood splatter but it says "Thriller" instead of "Horror".  Not that we care too much on this blog.  I'm just throwing it out there.

This book was published in 1987, so it's one of the earlier ones.  I've definitely read it before.  More than once.  Maybe more than ten times.

So, full disclosure....I LOVE this book. I probably shouldn't. It's not particularly well-written and the characters are pretty annoying and Stine pulls some real dick moves, but it's fun. It's a wild ride, so strap yourselves in and just surrender to the madness.

We begin with our protagonist Abby fighting with her sister Gabriella. The entire time they're fighting, Abby is getting ready to go out, so she's looking at Gabriella's reflection in the mirror along with her own. Abby has been asked to pledge the Tri Gams which is the most exclusive sorority at her college and she's excited and honored. Gabriella isn't impressed. She thinks the whole sorority thing is stupid and useless and it's pissing Abby off.

Abby is described as pretty. She has a round, high-cheekboned face, olive cat-like eyes, full red lips and straight, dark hair. She tells us that Gabriella has the same eyes but she's not as pretty as Abby. She goes on to describe herself as a cat and Gabriella as a tiger.

The fight escalates to the point that Abby yells at her sister that she's inhuman. She pauses to take a few deep breathes and when she turns around, Gabriella has left the room. Abby's mom walks in to ask her what's going on and Abby promptly turns around so she can talk to her mom's reflection too. She says she has a thing for reflections, but I think she just likes to look at herself in the mirror. She asks her mom how she looks and her mom tells her that her tag is out on her sweater. She offers to fix it but Abby yells at her for never saying anything nice.

Whoa, over-react much?

Abby's mom tells her she looks nice and then comments that this whole sorority thing must be super important to Abby. Abby's all like “duh”. She gets mad again when her mom asks if she'll be able to handle it if she doesn't get in. Abby believes there's zero chance that will happen. She's getting in. It's obvious.

Confidence she does not lack.

Stine decides to take a shot at teen girl fashion. We're told Abby's wearing an oversized gold sweater, a short brown knit skirt and dark patterned tights. It could be cute. Depends on shades and patterns, but I think he did okay here.

Abby takes the bus to campus. It's about 30 minutes away but it feels like new world to Abby and she revels in it. She's outside the sorority house when she sees an unwelcome sight. Leila Sherman is going inside. Abby fumes. What right does someone from her past have invading her future? She finally decides not to let it ruin her life and she goes inside.

Naturally Leila and Abby have some kind of beef over a guy named Gordon. Because girls always pick guys over their BFF's. {eye roll} Hey, Stine, it's Chicks before Dicks and most of us adhere to that code.

Abby is expecting the sorority house to be magical but it's actually a little run down and the sisters aren't as glamorous as she thought they'd be. She's disappointed.

Abby hears someone call her name and is excited to see Nina. Nina isn't given a last name. That always worries me in books like this. It's kind of like the red shirt in Star Trek. Nina has short hair with bangs, a tiny nose and freckles. Abby says she looks like she's 10 years old. The two of them had been great friends in grade school but drifted apart after junior high. Nina is the giggly, bubbly cheerleader type and Abby considers herself to be deep and serious and literary. She has no time for the frivolous. But she is genuinely glad to see Nina since she doesn't know anyone else.

They talk super briefly but when Abby hears that Nina and Leila are roommates, it all goes downhill from there. Nina gets super nervous and uncomfortable and gives Abby the whole “let's have coffee sometime” routine before dashing away to talk to someone else.

Abby sees Leila coming toward her and starts to feel out of control. She doesn't know what to say to Leila after all this time. She feels awkward but luckily the sisters call the meeting to order at that point and she doesn't have to talk to Leila.

Abby sits next to a tall girl with red hair. The girl has a quiet, squeaky voice like a mouse and Abby thinks it's a joke at first because Abby is kind of a bitch. Mouse girl is named Rebecca Reeves.

Andrea Volner, the president of the Tri Gams begins the meeting.

With every new character, it's becoming glaringly obvious that poor Nina wasn't given a last name for some sinister reason.

Abby is more impressed with Andrea. She is tall and pretty with blonde hair and a toothpaste smile. She's wearing expensive clothes – a gray wool skirt, maroon silk blouse and a gray scarf tied around her neck. This does not sound like any sorority girl I've ever heard of. Stine fails this attempt at teen girl fashion. As Andrea drones on, Abby's mind wanders. She thinks about how she and Leila used to be the bestest besties that ever bested until Gordon shattered their relationship.

A latecomer arrives and causes a lot of commotion. Andrea addresses her as Jessie and she conspicuously isn't given a last name either. Rebecca makes a few catty remarks under her breath about Jessie's clothes. Jessie's wearing jeans (not even 501's – the horror!!) and a sweatshirt with an ugly poncho over the top. She has glasses and messy hair and an obvious weight issue. Abby disdainfully thinks that Jessie looks nothing like a Tri Gam. Jeez, Jessie, what are you thinking? Surely you know us fatties aren't allowed to pledge sororities. We're allowed to do other people's homework and scrub bathrooms and things but joining a Greek House? Yeah, no. Buh-bye now.

Abby tells us she doesn't judge people (and I give myself a concussion because I laugh so hard I fall out of my chair) but she can't figure out why Jessie would even be there. Rebecca tells her that Jessie's older sister was a Tri Gam and younger sisters are automatically pledged. They don't always get in, but they're automatically pledged. Legacy, Stine. It's called a Leg-a-cy.

There are ten girls in the pledge class and only five will actually be accepted into the sorority. Andrea goes on and on about how sisters are sisters for life. Then she tells the group that every year the pledges are put through a test. They share an experience...a secret...that will bond them together for life. They will be taken to another town and asked to commit a crime that will prove their loyalty to the Tri Gams and each other.

Nina and Abby go for coffee afterward and Nina is clearly freaking out. Abby laughs at her for being so worried about the crime thing. Abby thinks it's just one of those silly sorority things that they're trying to make sound all dramatic but will really just be a giant joke.

The topic turns to Leila and Nina mentions that she's worried about her. She thinks Gordon is dragging Leila down. She found them in Gordon's backseat on campus recently where anyone could have seen them. Leila would have been kicked out of school if campus security had caught them. She wonders if she should have a conversation with Leila about her behavior. As she's telling the story, Abby starts going bright red and shaking. She rather robotically states that Leila can take care of herself and Nina immediately apologizes for opening old wounds. Abby should be the last person to discuss this with and it wasn't very sensitive of Nina to bring it up.

Jessie arrives then and sits right down without waiting for an invitation. She formally introduces herself and we learn her last name is Harvard. Nina still isn't given a last name. She introduces herself with her first name only. You know, I'm sure Stine just effing forgot to give her one but I'm choosing to believe that she's a red shirt. Nina asks Jessie if she thinks the crime thing is for real and Jessie replies that it definitely is and she can't wait to do something bad. Abby thinks Jessie is a little twisted (oh, Stine, you clever fellow – I see what you did there {wink}). She and Nina make their excuses and practically run out of the diner to get out of spending time with Jessie.

Just for the record, I'm beginning to think Stine is incapable of writing a “nice” girl.

The next chapter has us in Nina's head. When she gets back to her dorm room, Leila is pissed at her. Leila doesn't understand how Nina can go out with Leila's worst enemy in the entire world!! She reminds Nina that when it all went down, Abby was so upset her mother had to pull her out of school for a whole year. The official story was that Abby went to live with her grandmother but it's heavily implied that she was committed. Nina protests that Abby's all better now and she's probably forgotten the whole Gordon mess. Except she so clearly hasn't forgotten it and Nina is well aware of it. So why lie?

Leila is furious and I'm not sure why. Nina isn't either. She asks Leila what's really going on and Leila throws a pair of binoculars at her. She tells Nina this way she'll have a better view next time she spies on Leila and Gordon. So did she just have those laying around or did she go out and buy some just to have this dramatic moment? Because that's a little....twisted. {wink} Leila tells her that one of them has to move because there's no way they can room together.

I guess we were only with Nina for a couple of pages because suddenly we're back in Abby's head. She's arrived home and her house seems quiet. Gabriella's voice comes out of the dark and startles Abby. Gabriella wants to know about the meeting but Abby refuses to rise to the bait. She knows Gabriella is just looking for something to ridicule. She's heading up the stairs when she hears Gabrielle ask her if she thinks they're really going to do a crime. Abby wonders how Gabriella knew about that part. She worries that maybe Gabriella followed her to the meeting.

Abby opens her bedroom door and is surprised to find Gordon there. He says he climbed in through her bedroom window. Oh, nice. That's not fucking creepy or anything.

We're told Gordon is tall and big like a football player. He's wearing torn jeans and a stained sweatshirt that looks like he hasn't changed it in weeks. Charming. He has long, unwashed hair and lots of stubble and Abby tells us he looks like an unwashed Sean Penn. This is alarming to me because Sean Penn already looks unwashed to me. How much worse does it get? Does Stine really expect us to believe that two gorgeous girls are fighting over this disgusting specimen? I know it's fiction, but come on.

Abby demands to know what he's doing there. He says he wants to explain and apologize. He says he was immature last year and never meant to hurt her. I....I guess that was the explanation and apology because he doesn't actually say anything else. It's good enough for Abby. She throws herself at him and starts kissing him rather aggressively. At first he doesn't respond, but then he starts kissing her back.

Not sure what happens with that whole thing because a new chapter starts and we take a timehop. It's a week later. The girls are being driven hours away from campus in the dark. There's fog too because Stine loves his cliches. Everyone is nervous and on edge wondering if they'll actually be asked to commit a crime. Three girls chose not to go, giving up their chances of becoming a Tri Gam entirely.

A peppy girl named Emily sits next to Abby on the rented mini school bus. She thinks the whole crime thing was a sorority prank and she's loving every minute of it. Nina and Leila are clearly still fighting and sit with other people on the ride. On the way they come across an accident. A car has hit and killed a deer. Abby becomes filled with dread and keeps picturing the poor innocent creature leaping across the road to his certain death. She wonders if they are all like that poor deer. Innocent creatures being led to their own demise.

The girls arrive at the house and it looks like something out of a horror movie on the outside. Abby is relieved to find that the inside doesn't look so bad. There's nothing creepy about it and it seems homey and warm. Andrea reads out the room assignments. Nina will be sharing a room with Rebecca. Emily and a quiet girl named Ruby are to share a room. Naturally Abby and Leila are assigned to be roomies. If you couldn't see that one coming a mile away, you might want to make an appointment with an optometrist. Abby is nervous about it, but figures she can hold it together for a couple of days. Jessie is allowed to have her own room.

Andrea encourages them all to go right to sleep because they have important work to do the next day. They'll be casing out some places or something. Abby is relieved when Leila immediately tells her that she's exhausted and she hopes they can catch up the next day instead. She can put off having a convo with Leila for at least another day.

The next day they explore the town. It's a tourist place so most of the businesses are now boarded up and closed for the fall and winter. It seems abandoned. Andrea tells them to memorize everything they see because their lives may depend on it later. It's all excessively dramatic and, for some reason, in this particular book, it's hilarious. This book is the equivalent of watching a horror movie spoof to me. It's like “Scream If You Know What I Did for Halloween Last Friday the 13th on Nightmare Street With the Children of the Corn” or something.

Leila is chatting away to Abby acting like the last year never happened and they're still best friends. Abby isn't sure what's up with that, but she's grateful because it makes her less nervous.

They arrive at a place called Driftwood Antiques and Andrea motions them all inside. The shopkeeper is an elderly, frail looking woman. She goes into the back room to take a phone call and Andrea quickly points out the side door, jewelry case and cash register. She tells them that they're going to come back the next day and steal the jewels and take the money.

Later that night, Andrea holds a meeting of the Tri Gam pledges. I'm unsure at this point if any of the other sorority sisters came along. It seems to just be Andrea and the seven pledges. Anyway, Leila tells Andrea that they all think this crime is a joke. Andrea grimly replies that they're in for a big surprise if they think that.

Andrea takes out a gun and tells them that they're going to draw straws and the person with the short straw will carry the gun. She outlines the plan for the robbery for them. Abby goes from amused to disgusted. She's sure it's all a joke and she thinks it's in very poor taste to keep it going this long. She's disappointed all over again in Andrea and the sorority.

Andrea takes the straws around. Ruby refuses to draw one and says she won't participate. Andrea reminds her that she cannot get into the sorority if she doesn't, but Ruby holds her ground. There's no phone and no way for Ruby to call for a ride home so it's decided that she'll just remain at the house when the others go to town to commit the robbery. The other girls all draw. Nina gets the short straw and is horrified.

Later that night, Abby and Leila are discussing it in their room when they hear an odd tapping at the window. To their surprise, Gordon crawls through and into their room. Abby rushes over to give him a hug but he pushes past her to hug Leila. Leila asks what he's doing there, while giving Abby a strange look, and Gordon says he followed her. Not creepy as fuck or anything, Stine. Why oh why do all the boys have to be so creepy in PH Land?? The chapter ends with Abby feeling so embarrassed that she wants to die.

The next morning, everyone is scared and nervous. Abby is still mostly sure it's a joke but doubt is starting to settle in. She still feels hella stupid about the night before and is worried that Leila is going to go postal on her. They get ready to go into town and Andrea gives Nina a brief course on how to use the gun. To everyone's relief, she tells Nina that the bullets are really just blanks.

The girls all have assignments. Rebecca is supposed to tie up the old lady. Abby is supposed to empty the cash register. Nina has the gun. I'm not sure about everyone else. At first, things seem to be going okay. Then Nina loses her nerve and Jessie takes over with the gun. Abby can hear Rebecca and Emily smashing in the jewelry cases. Leila is laughing and saying that the old woman is clearly in on it. The whole thing is confusing. Suddenly the old lady cries out in pain and grabs her chest. They all watch in horror as she collapses to the ground. Jessie runs over and checks her pulse. She's dead.

Because of course she is.

The next chapter opens up with all our main characters back at the house. Everyone is upset. Andrea is pacing back and forth saying “This was not in the script” over and over. Nina is bad off. She keeps saying “We killed her” over and over. Abby tries to comfort her with no results. Things get very dramatic. Several of the girls are crying. Nina starts tearing at her hair. Only Leila is calm. She gives Andrea a cold look and tells her that it's time to stop.

Andrea pretends she doesn't know what Leila's talking about. She continues to insist that everything is real until Leila gives up in disgust. Then Andrea starts to put on her coat. She tells them that she's going to walk to the next house and call the police. She'll stand behind the girls, but this has to be reported.

The room erupts.

Everyone but Abby starts screaming. Ruby is the only one okay with calling the police because she's the only one that didn't participate and she has nothing to lose. Nina is hysterical. Jessie physically restrains Andrea and throws her down. There's chaos for awhile and it's pretty campy. Finally everyone calms down. They agree to go up to their rooms to think about things for awhile and then they'll meet again at 3:00 to calmly discuss what to do.

As they all disperse, Abby feels like everything is happening in slow motion. She looks at the fire and then imagines that the flames leave the fireplace and go frolicking around the room. She verbally tells them to stay in the fireplace but no one seems to notice.

That was a real Cooney moment right there, Stine. That was pure Devnee and the Shadow. Next thing you know some foil-fingered, moldy-smelling creature is going to start migrating people's boundaries.

Abby helps Nina up the stairs and into the room she and Leila share. Leila tries to calm Nina down by telling her that it was all just a fake. She read about a fraternity in another state that does the exact same thing every year. Jessie interrupts from the door and belligerently insists that it wasn't a joke and the old woman is dead. Leila gets mad and tells Jessie that she's just being cruel by continuing this. Nina finally says she wants to go to her own room and lie down and Jessie volunteers to walk her there.

As soon as they're gone, Leila whirls on Abby and demands to know what's happening between her and Gordon. Abby denies anything is happening but Leila brings up how Abby tried to hug him the night before. Abby begins to dig through her makeup. Despite the fact that her face is bright red and her mirror is so bad she can't really see herself, she begins to apply blusher. Leila tells Abby that she has to get over it. Gordon chose Leila and these things happen. It wasn't a big deal and certainly no one meant to get Abby that.....upset. Abby is pissed.

A best friend stealing your boyfriend isn't just something that happens. It IS a big deal. I'm with Abby on this one, Leila.

Leila becomes uneasy with Abby's anger and decides to back off. She tells Abby to leave Gordon alone and then leaves the room. Abby furiously grabs her lipstick. I guess she puts on makeup when she's pissed?? Suddenly she sees Gabriella's reflection in the mirror behind her. Abby wants to know what she's doing there and Gabriella says she hates being left out of the fun. Abby doesn't want her there and she spins around to confront Gabriella but Gabriella has left the room.

Then...well, this happens:

Broken, Abby though. Broken, broken, broken. She turned back to the mirror and picked up the lipstick. Broken, broken, broken. Looking intently in the mirror, she began applying the lipstick to her lips, lightly at first and then pressing harder and harder. Her hand moved in quick circles, smearing the soft lipstick over her lips, on her chin, under her nose. Round and around. Round and around. She smeared the lipstick in wider and wider circles, covering her lower face and then her cheeks.”

So....yeah.

The next chapter begins and we're with Nina and Jessie who are sitting outside talking. Jessie reassures Nina that no matter what happens, they're all in it together. Nina wants to go home but Jessie tells her the bus driver left to do another job and won't be returning until the next evening. They're trapped. They're startled when they hear what sounds like a gunshot. Jessie immediately dismisses it as duck hunters in the nearby woods. Movement catches their eyes and they see Gordon running all bent over through the trees as if he doesn't want to be seen. Nina can't figure out why he's there or why he's running like that. There's no time to pursue it, though, because Jessie notices it's 3:00 and time for the meeting.

The girls are all snapping at each other like feral cats and a freshly scrubbed Abby is stunned at how much things have changed in just 24 hours. They aren't sisters anymore. A storm begins to rage outside and the lights flicker to add to the tension already in the room. They're five seconds from tearing each other apart with their bare hands already. I'd hate to see what would happen if the lights go off. Leila tells them that they really only have two choices. They can continue to play their parts like good little sorority girls until Andrea reveals it was all a joke, or they can put up a united front and tell Andrea they're done playing the game.

Jessie practically attacks Leila. She rages that nothing is a joke and it's all real. Seriously, the girl doth protest way too fucking much. Clearly she's in on it and they're dumb not to realize it.

Abby notices that Andrea hasn't come down for the meeting and asks where she is. No one had noticed her absence until then. Someone says that she probably fell asleep, so they all troop upstairs to wake her up. Why? I don't know. I guess they're pack animals now.

Andrea doesn't answer the door, so they bust in. They see her lying in a pool of blood. Jessie (again) runs forward to examine the body and she tells the others that Andrea has been shot and she's dead. Jessie is fucking Dr. Oz or something and everyone believes her medical diagnosis immediately.

They all go back downstairs and there's more hysteria and hair rending. The lights flicker again with the storm so Jessie goes into the kitchen to get candles. She conveniently finds enough for everyone to have one exactly at the moment that the lights go out and no one...not one of them...asks how the fuck she knew where to find the candles.

Abby accuses Jessie of killing Andrea in a creepy voice that scares the crap out of everyone. Nina loudly argues that it was clearly Gordon. Leila jumps in to defend Gordon and things kind of disintegrate again. Suddenly they realize they can hear knocking on the front door.

Hoping it's the bus driver, they answer it only to find a sopping wet Gordon. He comes in all smiles and goofy mumblings and Nina immediately starts screaming that he's the murderer and they have to “get him”. He seems really confused by this. Jessie jumps in to support Nina's story and asserts that he's the killer. She's obvi trying to divert suspicion but everyone is oblivious. Gordon denies any killing. Abby tries to alibi him by telling the girls that he sneaked in her window the night before and spent the night with her. This alarms Gordon and Leila both.

Abby tells the group that he was sneaking away from the house to protect her reputation and he couldn't possibly have killed Andrea because he was with her the whole time. Gordon tries to stop her. He tells her that they need to tell the truth and Abby insists that she is. The problem is, she's also insisting in her own thoughts that she's telling the truth. She believes she's telling the truth.

So....there's that.

Gordon tells them that he came up to see Leila. He spent the night with her in one of the rooms and then slept all day. When Nina and Jessie saw him, he was simply trying to leave without being seen. Jessie doesn't believe him and says they need to lock him up in a bedroom until they can figure out who's lying. Gordon is okay with it. He just wants to be dry and warm. Leila protests but no one listens. She becomes very emotional and keeps saying “Poor Abby. Poor confused Abby.” over and over in her head. I find an entire page of this VERY ANNOYING, STINE.

Leila tells Abby that she wants to talk to her and Abby angrily tells Leila that she has a few things to say too.

The next chapter begins with Nina and Jessie again. Nina is crying. Again. There's a long pointless conversation where Nina finally accuses Jessie of knowing more than she says about this weekend and Jessie denies everything.

Then we hop into Leila's head. She's sitting in the kitchen drinking hot tea. We get page after page of her confused inner dialogue going over everything for us in case we forgot. Do PH authors really think our attention span is so short that we can't maintain the facts of a 168 page book?? She worries about Gordon and worries about poor, poor Abby and goes back and forth about whether anything is real. THIS IS USELESS.

Leila finally goes upstairs. She pauses outside of the room where Gordon is locked up but doesn't hear anything from inside. She figures he's asleep again. He can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. She goes into her room and sees Abby sitting at the dressing table. At first, Abby doesn't respond to Leila calling her name. Then she finally turns and smiles.

I'm not Abby,” she said finally in a hoarse voice. “I'm Gabriella.”

Are you surprised? Be honest. Did you know Gabriella didn't exist? Did you notice she really only appeared in the mirror? I can see you over there pretending you knew it all along. {wink}

Leila doesn't know what to do. At first, she tries to convince Abby that she's not Gabriella. That only makes Abby/Gabriella furious. Leila debates running from the room and then decides against it because people are stupid in PH Land. She decides she can calm Abby/Gabriella down and everything will be just fine. Abby/Gabriella goes into a monologue about how she's Abby's only loyal sister and how Leila is a complete bitch for stealing Abby's boyfriend.

Not really arguing with her on that one.

Leila screams that things like that happen all the time and people don't go crazy from it.

Not really arguing with her either, but it doesn't make Leila less of a bitch. Chicks before dicks. Learn it. Live it.

Oh, and calling a crazy person “crazy” is really the equivalent of poking a very large bear with a very sharp stick. It's not the first choice I'd make personally, but you do you, Leila.

Abby/Gabriella responds by pulling out a gun and telling Leila that she's going to make her pay.

I told you. Bear. Stick. Duh.

The next chapter brings us back to Nina. She's staring out the window having a LONG inner dialogue about whether she should have spent a year living at home before she moved into a dorm and whether she should move back there now. STINE, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT OF THIS STORY. In the middle of all this, she looks down and sees a phone cord running along the wall.

The other girls see her crawling along the floor and they ask her what she's doing. She tells them about the cord and they join in the hunt. Jessie jumps up in a hurry and tries to stop them. They don't listen to her. They find a jack and then decide to follow the cord back the other way, hoping to find a phone. They do not. Before they can begin a thorough search, they hear crashing and screaming. It sounds like it's coming from the basement.

Dun dun dun.

We headhop back to Abby/Gabriella. She's forced Leila down the basement stairs at gunpoint. She tells Leila that she's going to kill her and hide the body down there where no one will think to look. Gordon appears to save the day. He tries to talk Abby/Gabriella down but she isn't having it. They struggle and the gun goes off.

The next chapter begins with the other girls rushing to the basement. There's a lot of confusion. Nina sees Gordon physically tackling and restraining Abby and she picks up the discarded gun to force him to let Abby go. When Abby starts screaming that she's Gabriella, Nina realizes what's going on and she says “Poor Abby” a few times herself. Grrr.

Gordon gets Abby/Gabriella restrained and they all try to figure out what the hell to do now. A clueless Andrea suddenly appears on the stairs. She's happy and congratulates them all on making it into the Tri Gams. The old lady is with her and just as cheerful. They're pretty proud of themselves until they notice Abby.

Nina gets up and gives a big speech about how ashamed she is of the sorority. But she's going to take her place in it and make sure they never do this weekend again. It's.....dumb. Jessie is confronted and she reveals she's been in on it the entire time. No sh*t.

Most of the group goes up to call for help. Nina, Gordon, Abby and Leila remain. Abby just keeps saying “I'm not Abby, I'm Gabriella” over and over again. Leila feels responsible. She gets down and hugs Abby, telling her what a good friend she's been.

The paramedics arrive to take Abby away. The entire time she's scolding Gabriella for embarrassing her in front of the other pledges. Gabriella replies that she was only protecting Abby as usual. Abby becomes scared because she doesn't know where she's being taken, but Gabriella tells her not to worry because she's coming along too.

The End.


Final Thoughts: I don't know why I love this book. It's awful. It's very offensive to people with mental illness. But it's campy. It's over-dramatical-fantastical. It's unintentionally hilarious. It has TWO plot twists (there is no Gabriella and the weekend was fake). Okay, they weren't particularly GOOD plot twists but there were two! It's like...bonus! This book is just pure, unapologetic camp and I love it.


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