Tag Line: Don't look behind you...From the Back of the Book: For them the game was over, for him it had just begun.... It all started out as a party. And then there was a game. A game of hiding and seeking. A game of hunting and weeping. And before anyone knew what was happening, someone was killed. The game was over. And the only suspects they had were each other...unless there was someone else out there. Someone who was still playing the game.
This book was published in 1992. I didn't read it back in my Point Horror phase. I can't tell you whether I even knew it existed, but I can tell you that I never would have purchased it after reading the back cover. This book sounds dumb and 1992 me would have been too smart to spend money to read it. I wish 1992 me picked the books for this blog.
I apologize for everything you are about to read.
I feel a little weird here right off
the bat. Usually I start these recaps with: “We begin with our
protagonist _________”. In this case, I have no idea who our
protagonist is. The back of the book is no help whatsoever. So I
guess we'll just jump in and hope it becomes clear at some point.
At any rate, we're in a room with two
girls and they seem to be getting ready for something. Cyndi is
wearing heavy make-up (mostly black with blood red lips), a black
dress with a very high slit up the front and fangs. You read that
right. Fangs. We're told she has “ice-pale hair”. Does that
mean it's white? Or just very, very blonde? Lara, who is described
as boy-obsessed, is lying on her back staring at her pink nails and
her silver stockings. Wait. How is she staring at her stockings
while lying on her back? Are her legs straight up in the air or
something? I've seriously asked way too many questions for page one
of a book. This does not bode well at all. Lara has big brown eyes,
pouty lips and fluffy golden hair. So we have a white-haired vamp
wannabe and a golden retriever on our hands. Nice.
I think....THINK...Cyndi might be our
protagonist and I'm a little bummed about that because now I have to
type that silly spelling in a bunch of times. I'm getting the
feeling they might be dressed up for a costume party. Cyndi is a
vampire and Lara is Rapunzel. So there's hope that Cyndi doesn't
dress this way all the time. A couple of boys – Dade and William –
are due soon but they'll wait down in Cyndi's library for the girls.
It seems like Cyndi comes from money.
For an entire page, Athkins refers to
Cyndi and Lara as “Vampire” and “Rapunzel” as if those are
their new identities. It's annoying and it makes me want to stab
her.
Now my protagonist theory gets thrown
out the window because we're suddenly across town and with a girl
named Georgina. She's getting ready for the same party. She wasn't
invited but she doesn't much care about that. She hates Cyndi but
that doesn't bother her either. She hates a lot of people and hating
them gives her energy. Georgie is dressed like a black widow spider.
Not the superhero, the actual arachnid. She fancies she looks like
a young Elizabeth Taylor. Ooookay then. Nothing in the description
of Georgie gave me a Liz Taylor vibe but whatever. She's bringing a
date to the party that Cyndi is absolutely going to hate.
New paragraph, new person. Our golden
boy Foy (what the hell kind of name is FOY?) is headed up to Jane's
house. Jane is old money and Foy has known her all his life.
They've been friends for a long time but he isn't sure it can last
because he thinks she wants to be more than friends. Foy is dressed
as a wizard.
We go briefly into Jane's head. She's
dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. She's bored with her plain
little life and wishes for a little action.
Now we're with some guy named Rick. We
don't find out what his costume is exactly but it's shocking and
involves blood. His father is a funeral director so Rick has grown
up with the dead. He's hyperactive. People think it's because he's
a party animal, but really it's because he's afraid that being still
means being dead.
And we've landed in Wills' head. He's
annoyed because he agreed to double date with Dade and Cyndi and
annoyed that Dade looks so much better than he does. Wills is
dressed up as Freddie Krueger and Dade is dressed as Death. (Note from future me: Dade's costume is described later in the book and it's just dumb. It in no way resembles any representation of Death that I've ever come across and it's NOT better than the Krueger thing.)
I have to stop the recap here for a minute to
tell you guys what I just discovered. As I've mentioned before, I
get these books from used bookstores and most of the time they're in
pretty good shape considering how old they are. Occasionally I run
into a torn page or jacked up cover or something. Well, I'm reading
along in this one and I just discovered that someone before me
censored this book. They've taken a blue pen and scribbled out all
the curse words. It's so very tragically hilarious. Either some kid
was super offended by the handful of “hell”s and “damn”s in
this book that he censored it as he read or his parent censored it
before they let him read it. I find both scenarios just sad.
Imagine if he read this blog. (laughs) There would be white-out all
over his screen. In honor of this sensitive snowflayke, from here
on, all the curse words in this post will be replaced with the word
“potato”.
Potato yeah!
Anyway, back to Wills and Dade. Wills
doesn't know who the potato Dade thinks he is. Wills can trace his
lineage back to the Mayflower (I think we're supposed to be impressed
so let's just pretend we are) and Dade's just related to some local
celebrity. He doesn't want to mouth off to Dade though because Dade
can be unpredictable. Instead he just imagines how fun it would be
to kill Dade. He wishes he had dressed as Jack the Ripper instead of Freddie Krueger because he really admires the guy.
As if we haven't been in enough heads
already, we are now with new-kid-in-town Jones. He's dressed as a
cowboy and I think he's supposed to be mysterious. It's implied that
he is a bit of a criminal and he has a sketchy past. He doesn't like feelings
and doesn't like getting attached to anyone. He's pretty much just a
big old stereotype in the wrong clothes. He should be wearing
tattered denim, worn leather and grease. He pulls up to the school
but doesn't go inside. Only the uncool are there this early. He
thinks about how it's Cyndi's after-party that really counts
and how he'll do what he came to do and then move on.
Now we're with Charity who is dressed
as a witch. Char, as she seems to be known, has been stuck
babysitting her six younger siblings and she's wondering what she'll
do if her mom doesn't get back in time for her to leave for the
dance. She's determined to have a good time even if it kills her.
And that, ladies and gentleman, was the
first chapter. The first potatoing chapter and we were in eight
potatoing heads. I feel dirty being inside so many people. Sigh. This book is going to kill me.
The dance has started and Foy and Jane
are sitting outside the back doors of the auditorium getting a little
fresh air. Well, Foy is also getting drunk from whatever he has in
his little flask. Rick and Dade join them. It turns out that the shocking, bloody costume we glossed over earlier is a psycho Santa.
Is that even a thing? I guess it's a thing. I don't care. Cyndi,
Wills, Jones, Lara and Char come out soon after. There's too many
characters in this potato book. I can't wait for some of them to
start dying.
They all get in their cars and follow
Cyndi to the real Halloween party. They seem to be headed out to
Cemetery Point and Char's worried that it's dangerous. The road has
been closed for some time because of something to do with erosion and
tides. They ignore all the signs that say “Keep Out” and “No
Trespassing” and park somewhere in the grass. Jones asks Char how
long she's known Cyndi and Rick and she thinks the question is odd.
She tells him she's known them for 10 years. Then she tries to get
him to reveal some information about himself but he evades.
There's a couple of pointless pages
where the boys are all trying to be the macho one and I want to stick
a fork in Athkins' eye for making me read it. Rick's annoying and
Jones is trying too hard to be mysterious and the other boys just
want to be manly. Dumb. So dumb.
The girls break things up and suggest
that they start the party so they begin to unload the party crap out
of the cars. This seems to consist of a cooler, a boom box and some
blankets. As they're heading toward a good spot to set up, they see
Cyndi beckoning to them from one of the paths that lead into the
woods. She wordlessly turns and disappears into the trees.
They all follow her into the woods and
down the trail until they reach the end. They bicker quite a bit
between them as they go. It's inane. I'd type in a few paragraphs
to show you how poorly written it is, but I fear it would kill my
soul. Cyndi is standing just outside the cemetery beside some wood
she's prepared for a bonfire. They put down the cooler and spread
out the blankets and light the fire. They're not being very 007
considering they're in a place where they're not allowed to be.
Between the fire and the boom box, they are advertising their
presence pretty strongly.
Char wants to leave but then Jones
dances with her real close and slow and she forgets her reservations about the
place. They dance their way out of the light of the fire and begin
to look at the gravestones.
Apparently Cyndi and Wills used to date
but he broke up with her and she took it badly. Jane notices them
talking privately by the bonfire and wonders if they're getting back
together. She asks Dade if it bothers him, but Dade says the only
thing that bothers him is that Jane won't dance with him.
This book is killing me, y'all.
He caught Jane's hand and stood up,
pulling her with him. At almost the same moment, Cyndi threw back
her head and laughed. Then she turned and walked away from Wills and
over to Rick.
The way she pulled Rick to her made
Jones and Char look like the Bobbsey Twins.
Lara, who'd been standing nearby,
started laughing.
Furiously, Wills whirled to face
her. He raised his hand and the shadows of his nails made stripes
across Lara's face. For one awful moment, Jane thought he was going
to lash out at her.
“Shrink's delight,” said Dade,
watching Wills.
Then Lara laughed again. “Freddie,
Freddie, Freddie,” she said delightedly.
Did you follow all
that? What the potato does “shrink's delight” mean? Can one of
you explain this book to me, please? I have no idea what's going on.
Jane is nervous and
excited to be so near Dade. He has a reputation for being dangerous.
There are rumors of drugs and partying and fighting. Some say he
carries a gun. Jane is just tipsy with the excitement of being in
his arms. Clearly Jane makes bad decisions about men. Cyndi isn't too happy about Jane and Dade being together and she retaliates by
dragging Rick up on one of the crypts to dance where Dade can't miss seeing it.
As everyone
parties, they hear something moving in the trees and all of a sudden
a figure appears, scaring them all.
It's just Georgie.
I forgot all about Georgie for a minute. She's shown up with Cyndi's
brother Dorian as her date and Cyndi is potato pissed. There's some more
painfully bad banter and then the group decides to turn off
the music and tell some ghost stories. My, how original they are.
Rick tells the old
urban legend about the kids making out and hearing something
scratching at their car. When they get home they find a hook hanging
from the door handle on the car. Everyone's heard it a million times
and no one is really impressed.
Dorian starts telling a story about a vampire. She can't keep her
teeth off other people and soon she gets too fat to hunt, so she
ends up in a cemetery feeding off the dead. It's clear he's just
trying to piss off Cyndi because otherwise his story makes no sense.
A vampire can't feed off the dead. Dead = no blood. But his vampire
wasn't really a vampire and she made the mistake of digging up a
portion of the cemetery that was for the undead and then she got
bitten by a real vampire. And that made her bleed and bleed. So the real
vampire was freed and the fat fake was buried in her grave and she'll
be there forever because no one loves her.
Seriously. Can
this book get any dumber? That was the worst ghost story in the
history of mankind. I mean the one we all told as kids that ended
with the ghost getting hit with a dirty diaper was more clever than
that.
Georgie suggests
they try a séance because the ghost stories are clearly lame. They
join hands around the fire and scream "arise" for a bit until Jones
breaks the circle. They drink some more beer and dance around some
more. At one point, Char feels a rumble and she loses her balance a
little. Jones feels it too and he tells her they have to get out of
there. The two of them head for the woods.
Cyndi sees them
going and asks if they're heading off to play hide and seek.
Everyone's bored with this lame potato party, so they all agree to
play hide and seek. The girls will hide and the boys will seek.
Just before they
are to start, Char feels the tremor again. It's stronger this time.
Jones is the only other one who seems to react. His face gets pale.
He tells her to run all the way back to the car and not to stop for
any reason. Char doesn't even wait for the signal to start the game. She takes off.
Dade does the
counting while the girls go hide. None of
the other girls head for the woods because Jones is standing by the
entrance to them. Most of them end up in the cemetery.
We start
head-hopping at a furious pace as we learn where each girl is hiding
and which boy is getting close to discovering them. It's pretty
annoying.
Wills stumbles
around the graveyard. He ends up in a remote section and all of a
sudden a rotten smell assails him. He sees some ground dug up and
wonders if someone dug up a grave and that's where the smell came
from. But the graves here are so old that they shouldn't stink
anymore. He's contemplating this huge mystery when he hears someone
behind him. The person isn't wearing the right costume, but Wills
doesn't have much time to think about that. A blade catches him
under the chin and he dies.
One down, ladies
and gentleman. So many to go.
Unless this is one
of those potatoing books where no one is really dead in the end.
That's REALLY going to piss me off if it happens. I will burn this motherpotatoer book down.
Oh. Oops. Sorry about that.
This book is making me a little homicidal. Moving on....
Char is running
through the woods but she isn't careful and she loses the path. She
thinks she hears someone coming after her. She's not concerned at
first, because she assumes it's Jones but he never calls out to let
her know he's behind her. Then she gets worried it might be someone
else. She crouches down for a bit, quiet, and the person following
her stops as well. Then she hears the screams start. All she can
think about is getting to the car. She gets up to run again but
something grabs her ankle and she face plants on the ground.
Everything goes dark.
When she comes to,
the people from the party are around her. They're pulling her to her
feet and dragging her back to where they left the cars. She's pushed
into Jones' car and then people pile in behind her. Jones quickly
gets the car going and takes off. Char can't really figure out
what's going on. She asks about a few people who aren't in the car.
Cyndi tells her they are in other cars. Char notices that no one
mentions Wills, so she asks where Wills is. Cyndi tells her that
Wills is dead.
Jones drives them
straight to the police station so they can report the murder. They
are at the station until nearly dawn trying to convince the
authorities to listen to them. I'm honestly surprised they bothered
with the police. They must have forgotten they were in a Point
Horror.
The next morning,
Jane calls and asks Char to come over. Both girls are still shaken
and don't really want to be alone. Jane thinks one of their group
must have killed Wills but Char hopefully theorizes that it might
have been a “bum” living out by the cemetery. Char presses Jane
for information about what happened after she left the party. At first, Jane claims to not remember much but Char
keeps asking her. Jane gets thoughtful and is about to tell Char
what she remembers when Cyndi interrupts them and barges into the
room.
Cyndi is upset
because the police believe she planned the entire thing to get
revenge on Wills for breaking up with her. She says the only way she
can prove that she didn't kill Wills is to figure out who did. Dun
dun dun.
We
begin the furiously paced head-hopping again. Over the next few
pages, we jump into a new person's thoughts every few sentences.
This is a bad way to write a book, y'all and I'll tell you why. For
one thing, ZERO of the characters get developed this way. You're
never with one of them long enough to get to know them. Since you
never get to know them, you don't really give a potato what happens
to them. And there's no real suspense because you simply don't care.
If we stayed in Char's head or Cyndi's head, I might actually be
worried that Cyndi was accused of murder. I might be worried that
Char would be next. As it is, I just hope they all die soon so the
book will end. I don't care about any of them. And it's not because
I don't want to care about them. I'm not given the chance.
Most
of the head jumps are pretty lame and don't do anything to move the
story along. We just get a few sentences of them thinking about the
murder or talking to someone else about the murder. No new
information is discovered except for Dorian's head hop. He claims that Cyndi once tried to
kill him but I don't know how factual that is.
On
Monday, everyone is staring at them and talking. Not surprising.
Foy is suspicious when he sees Dade and Jones together. He thinks
it's ironic that Wills had his throat slashed since Wills was such a
fan of Jack the Ripper.
Char
decides to hit the library and do some research on the Point's past.
She's wondering if Wills was the first murder out there and if there
might be a pattern of killings over the years. Wouldn't they know
about it if there was? It sounds like a small town and usually
things like unsolved serial killings attract attention in a small
town. I find it hard to believe that they wouldn't know if there had
been several murders in their town over the years, but at least she's
doing something relatively smart, so I'll just give this a pass.
She
doesn't find what she's looking for. Just the typical stories of a
small town over the years. She's getting ready to pack it in and go
home when Jones appears, startling her. He's had the same idea.
Char accuses him of knowing who the killer is and of playing games.
I'm not sure why she thinks he knows who the killer is or what games she thinks he is playing. It makes no
sense. Whatever.
Georgie
is drinking and thinking about how she'd like to make all the popular
kids pay. She calls Dorian and asks him to take her back out to
Cemetery Point so they can look for clues. Good plan. They go back
to the spot where Wills died. Dorian gets a little spooked and
Georgie makes fun of him for it. She wants to make out in the crime
scene but he convinces her to leave. Walking through the quiet, dark
woods doesn't do much for Dorian's sense of safety. He tries to
hurry her along to the car but then this happens. Sigh.
Georgie had stopped dead and was
standing there, her arms folded, one hip thrust out provocatively,
her black hair like a dark halo around her head. While he watched,
she ran her tongue over her lips, then caught the lower one in her
teeth. Her eyes were bright, supernaturally bright.
“Don't you want to stay for a
while, little boy?” She unfolded her arms, and ran one hand down
her hip.
I. Can't. Even. with this book,
y'all. Gag. Does Athkins think that's sexy?
Dorian starts to go back to Georgie but then he
hears something moving through the trees. He yells at Georgie to run
and then he takes off for the car. He makes it to the car and gets
it running. He sees that Georgie hasn't made it through the
barbed-wire gate yet. He tells her to run again but then he sees
something jump out at her. He puts the car in gear and takes off,
scraping the sides against the brush as he leaves Georgie behind.
We're back with Cyndi driving aimlessly
around. Well, that section was pointless. That's all that happened.
Now we're with Char. She's home
unpacking her backpack. She finds a strange book in it and she isn't
sure where it came from or how it got in her bag. It's called Of
Darkness and Its Minions. I'm
guessing it's not a romance.
Back
with Cyndi. She ends up going to Lara's house. Cyndi accuses Lara of
being melodramatic and tells her to snap out of it. Lara says she's
not leaving her room until all this is over. When Cyndi asks why,
Lara tells her that she saw who killed Wills and she doesn't want to
be next.
Char
reads the journal. Wait, it's a journal? I thought it had a title like a book. Who gives their journal a title like that??? It talks of Cemetery Point being haunted and of a
woman who was not buried right. She thinks that someone used the
journal as a blueprint to stage Wills' death. She isn't sure how she
ended up with it until she remembers that Jones had shown up in the
library earlier and he could have dropped the journal into her bag.
Now he's a huge suspect. Which is fine. That part makes sense. But
I read and reread the journal entries and NOTHING in them is a
blueprint for Wills' murder. I have no idea why she thinks this
journal is relevant other than it's talking about the cemetery where
Wills died. If it had been a guide to local cemeteries would she
have considered it a blueprint for murder?
OMG,
this book has the name of the cemetery in it! It's a blueprint for
murder!! Dun dun dun.
Cyndi
leaves Lara's house hoping that Lara won't remember how Cyndi begged
for help. She thinks about things as she drives around. Did Lara
kill Wills? Did Dorian? Her older brother is strange and she could
totally see him killing someone. She gets home just a few seconds
before Dorian comes screeching up the drive. She asks him if he had
a hot date and he screams in response.
Now
we seem to be in a police officer's head. They are doing patrol out
by the point. As they drive by, they see something stuck in the
barbed wire of the gate. They get out to investigate and see
something awful lying just down the path.
We're
back with Cyndi. She watches Dorian go running from the garage and
is amused that he seems so scared. She gets a little closer to his
car and sees a deep scratch and a hook dangling from the door handle
just like that old urban legend Rick told around the bonfire. She goes in search of Dorian and
finds him locked in his room. Eventually he lets her in. She asks
him where he was that night and he evades and says he was just
driving around. She asks him who he was with and he refuses to
answer.
Then
the conversation takes a weird turn. She reminds him of the time
they were small and playing hide and seek and he trapped her in a
trunk in the attic and then left her there for hours. He says it was
a joke and she scoffs. Then he reminds her that at least he never
tried to murder her. Apparently during a later game of hide and
seek, she locked him in a closet and then started a fire and he
almost didn't get out. She counters that she saved his life by
telling the firefighters where he was. Then the odd conversation
ends and I wonder what the point of it was.
Dade
comes across Jane as she's out walking. I don't know if he's trying
to pretend he's chivalrous or what, but he tells her she can either
let him give her a ride or he's going to walk along with her. Jane
isn't sure she likes either option. She wishes Dade would just leave
her alone. The people in her life are acting weird. Foy is in some
kind of daze and Char hasn't been around much. She finally decides
to get in Dade's car and she tells him to take her some place far
away. They end up parking on the dunes across from Cemetery point and
making out.
Dorian
thinks he was set up. He thinks Georgie and Cyndi put on the whole
production to scare him. He goes down into the garage to look at his
car and finds the hook. As he's standing there, he sees Georgie in a
corner. He's pissed that she scared him like that.
Jane
and Dade see police cars speeding away from Cemetery Point with their
lights flashing. They head back into town.
Guys,
the choppy style of this book is making for a choppy recap and I hate
it. STAY IN ONE POTATOING HEAD, ATHKINS.
Char's
been hanging out at BurgerBurger for a couple of hours. She feels
safe there. She doesn't have to think about Jones who she is sure is
a murderer.
Jane
and Dade follow the lights back to the ER. Georgie's dad is there.
Dade asks the ambulance driver what happened and the driver unprofessionally replies
that some girl “bought it” out at the point. Jane watches as the
doctor comes out and approaches Georgie's dad. The doctor shakes his
head and Jane knows that Georgie is dead.
Foy
and Rick show up at BurgerBurger and tell Char they've been looking
for Jane. Foy says that Jane went out for a walk and no one's seen
her since. Char heads for the phone booth to give Jane a call. The
butler says she's out and Char gets very scared.
We're
back with Dorian in the garage. The figure isn't really Georgie.
It's some kind of....I don't know, y'all. Some kind of supernatural
thing I guess. Ghost, demon, vampire. No clue. Dorian smells
gasoline. He's so cold, he's shaking. He eventually loses
consciousness just as the figure tosses a lit match and everything
explodes.
Char,
Foy and Rick hear it from the burger place. Rick wants to find the
fire. Char worries it might be Jane's house because it sounded like
it came from the direction. They get in their car and drive toward
the fire.
Jane
and Dade also head toward the fire.
They
all get there and see that Cyndi's garage is up in flames. The
servants are all out and accounted for and the parents aren't home, but no one has seen Cyndi or Dorian. Dade charges through the crowd
and into the house just as it starts to burn. The crowd is yelling
things like “cook
the rich”.
Seriously? Would this ever happen? Give me a break, Athkins.
Dade
drags Cyndi out of the house. She keeps trying to go back in after
Dorian. Jane tells Char about Georgie dying out at the point.
Later,
they all end up at Jane's. No one's been able to find Cyndi's
parents yet. They should check Europe. Point Horror parents always
end up in Europe. Cyndi is quiet for a long time and then she starts
rambling about how much she and Dorian hated each other as kids. It
was so bad her parents had to hire two separate nannies to keep them
away from each other. She tells them about the hide and seek
incidents and about how she's been “bad” ever since.
She
tells them that she thinks Dorian had been out with Georgie and that
whatever killed Georgie at the point had come after Dorian. Then she
declares that it's going to get them all.
Jones
walks in at that very dramatic moment. Cyndi accuses him of being
behind all this. Nothing ever happened until he showed up in town
and now three of them are dead. Foy points out that Dorian died in a
very different way from Georgie and Wills so maybe his death was an
accident. Cyndi tells them about the hook that had been on Dorian's
door.
Char
mentions the journal and how it documented some strange happenings
from a long time ago. Something caused ships to sink and haunted the
cemetery and things were bad for awhile but then it was stopped.
Jones nods and says that he doesn't know how it was stopped. They
all realize that they awakened something sinister the night of the party.
Um...by
just being there? Or by joining hands around a bonfire and yelling
“arise”? That seems like a ridiculously easy way to raise
something undead. Remind me never to say the word “arise” in a
cemetery. Ever.
The
cops believe that Georgie and Dorian's deaths are a murder-suicide
thing. I can think of a million better ways to off myself than
setting myself on fire. That has to be one of the worst ways to die.
None of the kids bother to correct them because potato the police.
This is Point Horror. We march alone!!!
The
kids fight amongst themselves for awhile about whether or not to
believe the supernatural theory. Jones and Char and Cyndi are on
board but the others aren't so sure. Cyndi gets hysterical and runs
from the house. Everyone runs after her. She gets in Jones' car and
takes off. They follow her in Dade's car. They realize she's headed
to the Point.
Cyndi
drives right through the gate and down to the point. The others
follow. That is one super wide path through the woods to accommodate cars. Finally they reach the clearing and see Jones' car parked just outside the cemetery.
Cyndi isn't in it. Foy wants to get out and search for her but Char
stops him. She tells him he can't be sure that the person they're
following really IS Cyndi.
They
decide the safest thing to do is to hold hands. That's when they
realize that Lara isn't with them. Jane says Lara is still at home
safe.
They
get to the graveyard and Cyndi is there. She tells them how much she
loves parties. Then she throws their flashlight away and takes off
in the dark. Dade takes off after Cyndi and Jane follows Dade.
Char
begins to feel strange. She's lethargic and giggly and kind of out
of it. She tells the boys she's going to go find the flashlight and
she wanders off. Before long, she's at one of the graves. It has
her name on it and 1888 - . She thinks “at least I'm not dead yet”.
Jones comes up to her. Char demands an explanation. She feels
scared and then powerful. The earth moves. A roaring fills her ears
until she can't hear anything else. Then she smells it.
She
realizes the....I still don't know what we're dealing with here....I
don't know what to call it. Anyway, the thing
has taken the form of Lara.
Things
get confusing here. There's a woman behind Char who kind of talks
through her. I don't know where the woman came from. I have NO idea
what's happening. I fully admit that maybe I just stopped giving a
potato about this book and I'm not reading real carefully, but
normally I can figure out what the potato is going on and this time I have no
potatoing clue. All I know is Char holds on to the thing,
the
other woman eventually disappears, the sun comes up and somehow Char
pulls the thing
through the ground and into a grave. I wish I could be more
specific for you but I have no idea what just happened there. I've
read it five times now and I still don't know what was going on.
Char
wakes up in her own bed. Everything's fine. It's several months
later.
She
and Jones go to the outlook. The point isn't as big as it used to
be. The night she confronted the thing,
part of the point broke off and was washed into the sea. The
graveyard is gone forever.
We learn that Char got free of the grave that night because Jones reached down through the ground and grabbed her ankle and pulled her out. That was nice of him.
We learn that Char got free of the grave that night because Jones reached down through the ground and grabbed her ankle and pulled her out. That was nice of him.
I guess the other woman was the first person who fought the thing.
They're calling it the Ripper now so it fits the title. Anyway, the
woman was the first person to take the Ripper into a grave. The
townspeople thought that meant that the woman had made some kind of
unholy deal with the Ripper so they refused to bury the woman inside
the cemetery grounds. But somehow Char helped her get into a grave
inside the cemetery so now she's at peace and stuff. Cool.
THIS
BOOK MAKES NO POTATOING SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone
is fine. Everything is fine. They're all friends. The end.
What.
The. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Read?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Final Thoughts: This was a bad book. A bad, bad book. All the head-hopping made it impossible to get to know any of the characters. Things were brought up but never explained. Like Jones. There was a lot of mystery brought up about him but we learned nothing. NOTHING. I don't know who or what the bad guy even was. I don't understand how it got loose. I don't understand how they vanquished it. This was an awful, awful book. I really wish my snowflayke censor would have taken his blue pen to the entire thing. How did this book get published? Athkins made money from this book, y'all. That's a travesty. A crime. She should pay US for the emotional trauma that her crappy writing has caused in us. I'm going to do my best to forget I ever read this book. I suggest you do the same.
POTATO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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