Tag Line: Someone just put Karen on hold. Permanently.From the Back of the Book: The next call may be her last. Someone wants to talk to Karen badly. Very badly. Someone who has something very special to say. Someone is calling Karen to say they care. To tell her the plans they've made just for her. Someone wants to reach out. Touch her. Kill her. Poor Karen. She's all alone this time. And if Karen can't trace the killer caller...Karen's going to die.
This book was published in 1994. I had never read it before. I have to be honest, I never would have if not for this blog. The back blurb is just awful. I would have taken one look and put it right back on the shelf. But I didn't because I know y'all depend on me to read these things for you so you don't have to. It's a tough job and the money sucks, but I chose it, so let's get going.
We start this book in two places which just pisses me off and I've only read two sentences. Sentence one, Stine tells us that the phone calls started less than an hour after Karen and Ethan's fight. By sentence two we are already flashing back to a week before the fight. Really? We couldn't just start the week before the fight and work our way up? Was it so vitally necessary for us to know right from the beginning that the calls started an hour after this fight? No. No, it was not. I don't even need future me to confirm this. I already know it can't be that important. There was no need for this but Stine isn't exactly known for only putting the things we need in his stories.
You remember him, right? The man who ends every. single. chapter. with an unnecessary cliff hanger? I think HE thinks it builds tension but it's just laughable and that's what I did. I laughed. Or cried. It's hard to tell sometimes.
Cripes. I've already forgotten where I was and I've only recapped two sentences. This doesn't bode well.
So, we're a week before the phone calls that happen an hour after the fight. Sigh. Our protagonist Karen is in the car with her best friend Micah and they're parked at the top of a hill where Karen can spy on her boyfriend Ethan's house without being too obvious. It's dead winter and icy cold but Karen wants to turn the car (and consequently the heat) off because she's almost out of gas. Micah is rather afraid they'll freeze. She says this is lousy weather to be spying but Karen insists that she has to know whether Ethan is telling her the truth.
By page 2, I think Micah has called Karen crazy at least 4 times. It's annoying. (Note from future me: Micah's pretty spot on with her assessment of Karen's mental health. I retract my annoyance and offer full apologies for doubting Micah's diagnostic capabilities.) She also says that Karen is looking particularly anorexic these days. Okay, that's not cool either. Diseases and disorders shouldn't be used as insults, y'all. It's not cute. If you had to live the hell of actually having one of these diseases and/or disorders you wouldn't joke about them ever again. I'm off my soapbox now. We shall go on.
Karen is described to us as having short, dark hair, dark eyes and a shrill voice. Shrill is Stine's favorite word in this book. (Note from future me: "shriek" is a close second.) It's used so often and so repetitively that it yanks me out of the story every time it appears. Shrill is NOT a good thing. You shouldn't aspire to make the heroine of your book shrill. It doesn't make us like her. Karen is also genetically thin. Her mom is too. So, have another Kit Kat bar, Micah, and shut the fuck up. Micah is described to us as having "piles" of blonde curls, whatever that means. The picture in my head is hilarious.
Ethan was supposed to be on a date with Karen right that very minute but he cancelled because he had to "work late". Karen isn't buying that noise for one second. She knows he has a side chick and she's positive it's this redheaded ho named Wendy. She's seen him talking to Wendy in the hall and everyone knows talking to someone in the hall at school means you're hooking up behind Karen's back while lying and saying you're working late at the Sizzler. Seriously. Everyone knows that. It's stitched on a sampler somewhere.
Micah thinks Karen is stupid and overreacting. She reasonably tells Karen that even if he IS cheating and even if they DO break up, Karen's life will go on. Karen's reaction to this statement is to flip out and accuse Micah of covering up for Ethan and the ho. You know, I'm thinking that Ethan should get far FAR away from Karen because she's about two minutes away from boiling his bunny.
It's snowing and while Karen is flipping out on Micah for just being reasonable and healthy, the windows get completely covered. Micah points out that spying is going to be really hard when they can't see out of the windows. Karen gets out to retrieve her ice scraper from the trunk. It's the end of the chapter and Stine is driving this puppy, so when she opens the trunk she sees the body of a young boy.
Only it isn't. This is only our first one of these and I'm already exhausted by them. Why did Stine write so many of these books? I should have started a Sweet Valley High recap blog instead. Anyway, the body is a mannequin and her older brother Chris put it in there as a practical joke because he's a 3-year-old in a 20-year-old's body. Karen vows to seek revenge and then gets to work clearing the windows so she can spy on her boyfriend.
Karen is really stressed out about this Ethan business. She's an intense person who takes things way too seriously. I'm not reading into this, y'all. She actually tells us this while she's scraping the windows. Her parents went through a bad divorce and her dad took off without saying goodbye so I'm guessing abandonment issues are a huge part of the problem here. Okay, THAT part was me reading into it. Karen isn't nearly that self-aware. As per Point Horror requirements, her brother goes to college and her mom works insanely long hours so she's alone most of the time.
Micah is cold and tired of this nonsense. She thinks it makes more sense for them to drive to the Sizzler instead. If he's there, then he didn't lie about having to work late. Karen's all "fuck that noise" because it's WAY too logical for her. She says if she drives by the Sizzler, he might see her and then he'll know that she's an untrusting bitch.
A few seconds later, Ethan arrives home. It's only 11:20 so Karen KNOWS he lied. If he was working the late shift, he wouldn't get home until 12:30 at the earliest. Micah is horrified that Karen intended them to be there until 12:30 in the cold with no heat. Karen doesn't care about this either. She drives off in a huff which would have been fine if it wasn't icy and snowy. The chapter is ending so they lose control of the car and the sound of glass shattering pierces the night.
In reality, another car crashed into a telephone pole and Karen's car is fine.
Karen drops Micah off and then goes home. Her mom is already in bed and her brother is watching TV in his room. She goes into her own room and gets ready for bed. Her phone rings. It's the end of a chapter so the person on the other end tells her that it's her worst nightmare calling. I hope you're rolling your eyes as hard as I am because I don't want to be alone in this angst. Hold me.
It's her cousin Adam on the phone.
He used to live in town but he moved away for awhile. Now he's back. He asks Karen if she's still dating the long-haired freak. I guess Ethan has long hair. Good to know. Not sure if the hair alone makes him a freak or if Adam knows something we don't at this point. Monday is Adam's first day of school and he's a little nervous. He asks Karen to meet him there early and give him a tour. She agrees and thinks to herself about how Adam always was odd and had trouble making friends. She resolves to introduce him to Micah so he can meet some people.
The next day Karen calls Micah to talk about Adam and Ethan. Micah says Adam is weird and asks if he still watches horror movies. I guess long hair makes you a freak and watching horror movies makes you weird in this book. I'm a little confused though. Karen hasn't even introduced Micah to Adam. How does Micah know about the horror movie thing? I guess maybe she knew him from when he lived there before? (Note from future me: She didn't. Later it goes back to them not knowing each other so I don't know where this bit of her knowing he watches horror movies came from. Sloppy, Stine. Very sloppy.)
Micah asks Karen how she's feeling about the Ethan situation and Karen replies that she did a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that Ethan would never cheat on her because he cares about her too much. After a lengthy monologue about how much Ethan luurves her, she looks up and realizes that Ethan's been standing in her doorway the whole time. It's the end of the chapter so he walks in and ominously announces that they need to talk.
That was a pretty dumb cliff-hanger. But I guess those words DO strike fear in the hearts of anyone in a relationship.
Ethan has long black hair AND an earring. That's pretty edgy for Point Horror.
Karen asks why he didn't call her the night before and he reminds her that he was at work. He says they let him go early because the restaurant was empty due to the weather but he still got home pretty late. He wants to quit the Sizzler but feels like he can't because his dad is laid off and the family needs the money.
Karen asks what he wants to talk about and he's about to tell her when the doorbell rings. It's Ethan's best friend Jake. Karen tells us that he looks like a grasshopper and has a hoarse voice like a frog. Karen's just a lovely, lovely person. Jake says he's been looking everywhere for Ethan because Ethan left his wallet at Jake's house the day before.
Karen loses her mind, y'all. She gets shrill and shrieky. Ethan tells her that he went to Jake's before he went to work but Karen knows he's a lying liar who lies.
There's a brief interlude here where Karen's brother Chris is making prank calls. It's useless. Maybe Stine intended it to cast suspicion on Chris when the calls begin later but since it's never revisited, it doesn't do a very good job. I think it was just page filler. After the prank call nonsense, Karen asks Ethan why he wanted to talk to her and the chapter ends. That one was pretty lame too and I'm weirdly disappointed.
Before Ethan can respond, Jake reminds him that he promised Jake he'd help shovel snow. Ethan tells Karen he'll call her later and they leave. Karen immediately calls Micah over. Micah again tells her that she's overreacting to a completely made-up scenario that only exists in her own head but Karen ignores that. Karen says that she'll kill Wendy if Wendy tries to take Ethan from her. Micah calls Karen crazy a bazillion more times and she's not really wrong. Karen isn't acting very stable right now. At the very least, she has an obsession over Ethan that's rather harmful.
Monday morning Karen gets ready to go to school. She sits down to pull on her boots which should be pretty uneventful but it's the end of a chapter so she screams bloody murder.
Her brother has filled her boots with snow. Hardy har har.
She starts crying hysterically and Chris tells her how unbalanced she is. He's not exactly a role model for the balanced, but whatever. I don't care anymore.
Karen gets to school and gives Adam the tour she promised him. In the middle of it, she sees Ethan talking to Wendy again and everything goes black and silent. How dare he?? How dare he TALK like that as if Karen doesn't own him?? How could be betray her that way by saying words out loud in a public place?? WORDS. He said WORDS. To WENDY. Oh, the humanity. WORDS. Could anything possibly be more awful than this?
At lunch Karen refuses to eat because she's our main character and main characters never eat unless it's funny. She says she's going to go find Wendy. Micah tries to talk her out of it. Karen gives zero fucks about Micah's reasonableness. She finds Wendy on the stairs. Somehow Wendy ends up tumbling down the stairs and since the chapter is ending, Karen is afraid she's killed her.
Wendy isn't dead.
Karen isn't sure if she pushed Wendy which I find really weird. She should know if she put her hands on another person. She either pushed her or she didn't but she should know the difference. She starts hysterically shrieking that Wendy fell and it's not her fault and then she just runs off.
At home she pretty much locks herself in her room. Her mom comes up to talk to her. She says that Micah called to tell her what happened at school that day. Micah told Karen's mom that Karen made threats against Wendy and then Wendy took a mysterious tumble down the stairs. People are saying that Karen pushed Wendy and her mom wants to know what happened. Karen shrilly screams that's it's lies, all lies. I guess her mom thought that was reasonable because she accepts it and leaves.
Karen calls Micah to shriek at her next. She shrieks that Micah betrayed her and then she slams the phone down. Ahh. I remember the days when you could slam a phone down to make a point. Just pushing the "off" button super hard really doesn't have the same effect.
Karen knows her friendship with Micah is kaput and all she can think about is how Ethan is all she has left.
All of a sudden it's Friday after the basketball game. The team won, but Ethan played poorly and he's pissed. Karen invites him to come in and make out because the house is empty but it's the end of the chapter so he declines the couch sports and says that there's something he needs to tell her and she's not going to like it.
Ethan thinks they should see other people. I can't imagine why. Karen is such a catch. She starts shrieking and being shrill again. I really don't see why he thinks there might be anyone better out there. For no apparent reason she just blurts out that she didn't push Wendy down the stairs. It's completely out of context and methinks the lady doth protest WAY too much.
She gets out of the car screaming the entire time that he can't break up with her. He just tells her he'll call her later. What he should be doing is filing a restraining order.
Karen thinks to herself that she'll kill him before she lets him go. That's extremely healthy. She wonders if she DID push Wendy. I find this stupidly annoying because there's no way she wouldn't fucking know if she pushed that ho.
She goes into her room and sobs for a bit. When she finally stops crying she sees that someone has hanged her teddy bear by the cord on the blinds. She blames her stupid brother.
The phone rings. It's Ethan. She apologizes for being so emotional. He says that he wants to still date her, he just wants to see other people too. She tells him that someone is beeping in on the Call Waiting. There's a pause and then she comes back and tells him that he has to come over right away. There was a voice on the other line and it threatened to kill her.
Ethan arrives and she clings to him. She says the voice was whispery and hoarse and it said that he knew where she lived and he was going to kill her. Ethan tells her that it was probably a joke but he offers to call the police if it would make her feel better. She initially says yes and then immediately changes her mind. She doesn't think the police would take her seriously and it's reasonable because she's in a Point Horror book.
Somehow they end up making out.
On Monday, Karen feels like everyone is talking about her pushing Wendy down the stairs. She and Micah aren't talking at all. Then just because the chapter is ending, someone grabs her from behind and whispers hoarsely in her ear.
It's just Adam.
He tells her that Wendy is telling everyone that Karen pushed her down the stairs and she's trying to get witnesses to back her story up. Karen calmly replies that there were no witnesses and Adam thinks it's weird that she knows that so certainly. I do too since she doesn't even know if she actually pushed Wendy or not.
Later Karen is on the phone with Ethan again. She wants to go out Saturday night but he tells her that he might have to work. She gets upset and then tells him that the Call Waiting is beeping again. She's hysterical when she comes back on the line. It was the bad voice again and he told her that he was closer than she knew. He said he could get to her whenever he wanted and he threatened to slit her throat. Ethan says he'll be right over because he's not an asshole (although he IS an idiot).
Y'all. Seriously. You can see this right? The bad voice only calls when Karen is on the phone with Ethan and unhappy with the way things are going. If she's not making this up, I'll eat a shoe.
Karen hangs up to wait for Ethan. It's the end of the chapter so she sees a shadow in the mirror and a dark figure grabs her.
It's Chris and he can't figure out why she's pissed at him. She tells him about the phone calls and he thinks it's just a prank too. Ethan arrives and she snuggles up to him again so he can ease her fear. They are talking about the calls when the chapter ends and the phone rings again.
It's Jake calling for Ethan. Jeez, Jake, stalk much? He needs help with his math and wants Ethan to come over right away. This is clearly a cover story and not a very good one. Karen is skeptical but what can she do?
Karen doesn't get a chance to talk to Ethan again until Thursday because he's busy all week. At least that's his story. Finally she catches up with some and invites him to come over for a little sumthin sumthin but he's headed to work. He tells her he also has to work Saturday and she starts crying and telling him how disappointed she is that he has a life that doesn't revolve around her 100% of the time.
Karen sees Micah and Jake talking in the hall and finds it weird. Micah has never liked Jake and it seems suspicious that they are talking now. Stine makes sure to point out yet again that Jake has a hoarse voice but it feels like a red herring at this point. No worries, y'all. I'm not going to have to eat that shoe. I feel victory in my bones. Maybe that's arthritis. Six of one...
Karen takes off so she won't have to talk to either of them. She finds herself in an empty hallway with Wendy. Since the chapter is ending, she sees that Wendy is carrying a gun.
It's a prop gun.
Karen tells Wendy that she didn't push her. I guess she's sure now. Wendy agrees with her. She knows she slipped and fell and it wasn't Karen's fault but she was pissed that Karen didn't try to help her. Karen says she knows about Ethan and Wendy. Wendy has no effing idea what Karen's talking about but that doesn't stop Karen. She tells Wendy that Ethan is never going to leave her. Wendy will never have him. Wendy tells her to get a grip and she leaves.
Karen drives around for awhile to try to calm herself down. It doesn't work so she decides to go to the Sizzler and let Ethan calm her down. She knows she isn't supposed to bother him at work and she knows he'll likely get in trouble but she doesn't care. Nothing matters except what she wants. She gets to the restaurant at the end of the chapter so the manager tells her that Ethan hasn't worked there for two weeks.
Karen heads home so she can call and confront Ethan. He says that he was falling behind in his schoolwork and his parents wanted him to quit. He was too embarrassed to tell her though because he didn't want her to think he was a failure. All Karen gets out of this is that he's free Saturday and she tells him that she wants to go out. Ethan hesitates and it seems like Karen isn't going to get her way, so another bad voice call conveniently interrupts them. When she returns to the line she hysterically begs Ethan to come over because the caller said he was going to slit her throat again. I don't think her caller is very original. He seems to repeat himself a lot. Ethan clearly doesn't want to come over so he tries to calm her down over the phone. She just keeps getting more and more upset that he's not doing what she wants him to do.
The chapter is ending so she tells Ethan to hurry because someone's at her door.
It's Adam. He wants to borrow her history notes.
There's a lot of chatter here and I think it's intended to set him up as a suspect but it flops completely. It's not even a red herring because it's a total fail. I don't think Stine was even trying with this book.
Adam leaves. A bit later the doorbell rings and she thinks it's Ethan so she she rushes to open the door. It's the end of the chapter so she just gasps in shock.
It's Micah.
She wants to talk to Karen. Heaven knows why. She says she's worried about Karen and then she mutters that Ethan really isn't worth all this. Karen loses her effing mind. She thinks Micah knows something about Ethan and Wendy so she starts shrieking "what do you know?" and following Micah as Micah tries to flee. This girl needs help. Serious help.
The phone rings and it's Ethan. She wants to know why he isn't there and he tells her he isn't coming. She's really pissed and pouty but she perks up when he says they can go out Saturday night.
They hang up and then because the chapter is ending, she sees the pantry door creeping open. Her brother's body falls out.
It's a prank. I'm so tired of this.
Suddenly it's Saturday and Ethan arrives for the date. Karen is blow-drying her hair, so she asks Chris to answer the door. Now we switch POV. I really HATE it when authors do this. It's fine if you're switching back and forth between two characters for the whole book but it's annoying when it only happens for a few paragraphs. It's just lazy. They can't figure out how to introduce the information organically so they switch POVs so we can get the info from a conversation between two secondary characters.
Ethan and Chris make small talk. Chris mentions that Ethan is super early and Ethan says he didn't know when he was supposed to come. He's been trying to call Karen all day but their Call Waiting is messed up because he kept getting a busy signal.
The chapter ends as Chris tells Ethan that they don't even have Call Waiting.
Karen comes downstairs some time later to find her mom, Chris and Ethan talking quietly amongst themselves. Her mom confronts her and Karen admits that she made the phone calls up. Whoo hoo. I called that one. No shoe supper for me!
Karen is embarrassed and says she did it to keep Ethan because he was going to leave her for Wendy. Ethan denies this, but his protestations are lost in the hubbub. Karen's mom is super concerned but Karen gets shrill yet again because she can't figure out why everyone's making such a big deal out of nothing. She just wants to go on her date and forget all this.
Her mom insists that Karen needs help and she's going to set up an appointment with a counselor. THANK you. Finally a responsible parent in Point Horror. Karen accepts that it's the only way she's going to get out of this and she and Ethan leave for their date. If you can't believe he actually went on this date, you're not the only one. What is wrong with this guy? She should be in his rearview mirror right now.
They go to a dance club and hang out for awhile before Ethan excuses himself to make a call from the pay phone. Ah, nostalgia. It's the best part of these books. When he comes back, Karen demands to know if he called Wendy. She can't let this bone go and he should seriously be exiting this relationship while he still has his bunny. He tells her he wasn't but she makes him swear that he's not interested in Wendy before she'll drop it.
Two week pass and they tell us Karen is making good progress with her counselor. I'm sorry, but unless she's going for several hours every single day, two weeks is not enough time for progress on issues like Karen's. But we're supposed to believe she's all better now. Ethan comes over to study. When he gets to her room, her phone rings. When Karen answers it, she hears: "Karen, this is your imagination calling." and "I'm inside your brain. I'm going to kill you. I'm really going to kill you."
This is dramatic enough for Stine and the chapter ends.
Naturally Ethan has doubts about this call. Any reasonable person with half a brain cell would. But Karen gets angry and shrill once again. I'm beginning to suspect that Stine got some kind of bonus for every time he used the word "shrill" or "shriek".
Karen has trouble sleeping that night. At one point she sees shadows in her room and thinks Chris is leaning over her bed with a knife because it's the end of a chapter.
It's a dream.
At school the next day (I think - this book is pretty loose with time) Karen and Ethan are getting ready to head to lunch when Jake comes up. He's a little torqued because he hasn't seen Ethan in awhile and he glares at Karen. Karen realizes that Jake doesn't like her and she wonders if he ever did. I'm going to guess "no" because she's extremely unlikable. An office aide runs up and tells Karen that she has a call in the front office. Karen heads that way and grabs the nearest phone. The voice is back saying it's going to kill her. She's pretty freaked out when the secretary comes in. The chapter is ending so the secretary tells her not to use that phone because it's out of order.
Karen is dismayed and she runs from the office. She comes across Adam and tells him that she's feeling sick. He offers to take her home and she catches him up on everything that's happened up until now. Karen thinks she should call her counselor when she gets home and Adam agrees that it's a good idea. He tells her that he hears voices too. Ooookay.
Karen goes inside and it's the end of the chapter so the phone rings and she's terrified.
It's Ethan.
He wanted to check on her because she left school without telling him what happened. She says she got another threatening call and he tells her to call her counselor.
The next day she has to go to the office to turn in an excuse slip from her mom. When she gets there, the secretary apologizes to her and tells her the phone WAS working. So the call was legit. Karen isn't comforted by this, though. She freaks out because the danger was real. She goes back out into the hall but its empty because the bell rang and everyone is in class. Prompt students they have at that school. Because the chapter is ending, someone grabs her from behind.
This time it's Chris. He's bringing her the backpack she left at home and he thinks he's hilarious.
Time passes. Who knows how much. Ethan and Karen are making out at her house. I think. I don't know where they are. Anyway, Ethan stops and says he has to go to Jake's house. Karen is upset that he's been spending so much time with Jake. Um, what? Weren't we JUST told Jake was upset because Ethan was spending so much time with Karen? I'm so confused. She tries to seduce him into staying but he won't. She asks if she can call him over at Jake's. Jeez, Karen, get a fucking life. You can survive a few hours without the boy. It's possible to breathe without his tongue in your mouth. I promise. Ethan gets all squirmy and tells her not to call because they might be going out.
Out of the blue, Karen asks Ethan if he believes her about the phone calls. He says yes but she does't believe him. It makes me wonder why she bothered to ask him. She goes up to her room after he leaves and briefly considers making up with Micah because her counselor recommended it. She's still going back and forth about it when the phone rings and the voice says basically the same things about being in her head and killing her. But this time she hears a sound in the background that she instantly recognizes and she knows who it is. But the chapter ends so we don't get enlightened.
The next chapter is just about Karen driving to Ethan's house.
Never mind. She sits in front of Ethan's house for a minute and then drives PAST it to another house. We still don't get to know who it is.
Karen walks right into the house without knocking. She's been here before.
It's Micah's house. She's on the phone when Karen confronts her and she drops it without hanging up. Karen tells her that she heard the chimes ringing in the background and she knew Micah was the one calling. I vaguely remember some mention of these chimes earlier but I didn't make a note of it and I've forgotten what they were. Oh, well.
Micah says she did it to get Ethan. She's been meeting Ethan at Jake's house for quite awhile now. It kind of explains why Ethan was always running over there. He had a side chick after all and it was his girlfriend's best friend. This is so shady. Anyway, Ethan intended to leave Karen for Micah but then Karen made up those phone calls and ruined everything. Micah decided the best thing to do was to make real calls and Karen would look completely insane and Ethan would leave her.
Karen rushes Micah and Micah picks up a fireplace poker. The chapter is ending so Karen tells us that Micah shoved the burning hot poker into her heart.
J/K. LOLZ. Really she just got burned by an ember but it's an easy mistake to make, y'all.
Micah and Karen wrestle around. Just when it looks like Micah is going to win, Ethan shows up to save the day. Micah tries to play it off that Karen tried to kill her and she tells Ethan that they need to take Karen to the hospital and get her some help. The chapter is over so Ethan says "okay".
Actually he was REALLY saying "Okay, Micah, stop lying." Damn it, Stine, this is just stupid.
Ethan was the one Micah was on the phone with when Karen came in and he heard everything.
Ethan says the reason he was helping Karen through this difficult time is because he still cares for her.
Then a very stupid book gets even more stupid.
Karen dreamily asks if she's hearing voices again or if he really just said that. (Gag) Ethan says he hears voices telling them to leave. So they do. The End.
Final Thoughts: Where do I start? Karen should definitely stay in counseling. Her obsession with Ethan isn't healthy at all. Ethan should seek some counseling as well to figure out why he's staying in this relationship. And maybe Adam should explore why he's hearing those voices. The cliffhangers at the end of every chapter were tedious and stupid and made me laugh more than they gave me goosebumps. This book was fast to read (thank goodness) because very little actually happened. Someday I might tally just how often "crazy", "shrill" and "shriek" were really used. It was excessive and irritating. Stine needs a thesaurus. All in all, it was more stupid than anything. Read at your own risk, I shrieked shrilly.
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