Tag Line: There isn't one. I just realized that. Weird. That probably should have been a freaking sign.From the Back of the Book: Two girls....one life. Mary Lee and Madrigal are identical twins, exactly alike in every way. Mirror images. Two halves of one whole. Or so it seems. Until they are separated, leaving Mary Lee lost and lonely. And Madrigal more beautiful, more popular, and happier than ever...with a boy who loves her. Mary Lee wishes she could live her sister's life. And then she gets her wish. But with it comes a sickening discovery. Mary Lee and Madrigal were not alike. No, they were very, very different....
This is another "ish" book. No markings on the spine, but it's listed as a Point Horror book somewhere. I seriously need to stop reading these "ish" books. I'm starting to suspect that these are the books that were too bad for even Point Horror to claim.
This book was published in 1994. I have never read it before doing this recap. No one will ever read this particular copy after me, either because it's going in the fire pit. This book cannot continue to exist. At least not in my bookcase. If I could eradicate it from the face of the earth, I would do so. I know you all think I'm funnier when I hate a book, but I might just hate this one TOO much to be funny.
We open up with our protagonist Mary Lee. She's in an agitated state because her parents just told her that they are sending her a boarding school without her identical twin sister Madrigal. This will be the first time ever in their entire existence that they have been separated. We are given a description of them: they are beautiful with lovely olive skin and gorgeous hazel eyes fringed with long black lashes and they have heavy, luxurious black hair. They are seventeen, but from the way Mary Lee is acting, I would have guessed five tops.
Mary Lee can't see the logic behind this separation because her parents have spent 17 years making them wear matching clothes and have matching hair styles. It does seem like an abrupt change in routine here but instead of presenting it in a way her parents might actually listen to, Mary Lee is throwing a tantrum.
Mary Lee continuously refers to her and Madrigal as one person and says that neither of them are whole people on their own. Her mother, rather astutely, points out that this is why the two of them need to be separated. They need to come to think of themselves as whole people unto themselves.
This is a departure from our usual Point Horror parent removal. Instead of sending the parents to Europe, they are sending the protagonist away. It's kind of refreshing. I kept waiting to hear the boarding school was in Europe though.
Mary Lee insists that it's impossible for identical twins to be their own people. That they will always be a unit and two halves of a whole. Her father says that they are doing this for their mental health. I think it might be a little late for this, sir. That ship is already sinking. Mary Lee asks why she has to be the one to leave and they tell her that they want to keep Madrigal at home where they can supervise her. Hmmm. Mary Lee assumes that it's because they love Madrigal best and they can't wait to get rid of Mary Lee.
Madrigal surprises Mary Lee by saying that she thinks this will be a good thing and Mary Lee is infinitely butthurt by this. In the end, she has to go. She flies alone. I actually feel a little sorry for her here because I can't imagine what it felt like to be shipped off to a new place all alone. Couldn't one of her parents have gone with her to settle her in? Maybe they do hate her after all.
Mary Lee continuously whines inwardly about how awful this is. She and Madrigal have spent every single minute together since birth. Well, except one time that Mary Lee went to the mall with a girl named Scarlett and they ran into Scarlett's brother Van and had ice cream with him. Otherwise, they've never left each other's sides. They've never even dated because they couldn't bear to go anywhere without each other. This sounds so unhealthy, y'all.
Their parents have decided that they aren't allowed to call each other. They can only write letters. Mary Lee is upset about this but knows she can keep in contact with her twin through their twin telepathy thing. They can apparently feel each other's pain and hear each other's thoughts. Or something. I don't know. But as the plane flies toward school, Mary Lee realizes that she doesn't feel "connected" to Madrigal anymore and she feels sad and betrayed because Madrigal didn't fight with her to keep this from happening.
At school she meets her roommates Bianca and Mindy. There are several girls on the floor named Mary or some variation of Mary, so they start calling her ML which she rabidly hates. I think I will too because her name takes too damn long to type. Her roommates seem really nice at first but ML feels like an unfinished person and she's never learned how to socialize with anyone but Madrigal so she isolates herself from everyone. Her roommates eventually grow to dislike her and ask that she be moved to a different room but she isn't.
In her letters to Madrigal, ML lies and tells her how great everything is. When she gets letters back saying how great Madrigal's life is and how glad she is that they were separated, ML just assumes that Madrigal is lying as well. The first part of the year passes slowly for ML. She is lonely and depressed and she can't wait to go home for Christmas. When she does, though, she can't reconnect with Madrigal and is stunned to find out that her twin didn't miss her at all. She's popular and happy and having the time of her life.
Madrigal has a boyfriend now named Jon Pear. They only ever call him by his full name. Jon Pear. It's annoying for some reason. I don't even know why I hate it but I hate that they continuously call him Jon Pear. ML wants to meet him but Madrigal makes sure it doesn't happen. She says that she doesn't want Jon Pear to start thinking of her as half of a whole. ML begins sobbing that now they are two people instead of one. Man, her parents waited WAY too long to separate them.
As ML flies back to school after break, she wishes she could live Madrigal's life instead. She goes back and makes more of an effort to be friendly and involved but it's too late. No one wants her gloomy ass around.
After months and months of begging Madrigal to come visit her, one day after break, Madrigal announces that she's going to secretly fly out to spend a weekend with ML. She says she isn't going to tell her parents where she's going which makes me wonder exactly what she DID tell them. I mean, she lives at home and it's not like they weren't going to notice she was gone. This is NEVER addressed in the book. Even after the bad thing happens, it is never addressed that her parents didn't know Madrigal was with ML that weekend. Lazy, Cooney. Very lazy.
ML excitedly begins telling everyone that her identical twin is coming to visit her. She's never mentioned having an identical twin before and none of the girls at the boarding school believe her. ML is certain that having Madrigal there will show the other girls that she's special and make them like her. When Madrigal arrives, she is instantly popular as ML hoped but it doesn't spread onto ML at all. In fact, the other girls ignore her more than ever and Madrigal allows it. She soaks up the attention and doesn't seem to notice how miserable ML is all weekend.
Madrigal regales the girls with tales of her amazing life and adventures. ML listens and wonders how Madrigal is getting away with doing all the things she's talking about and why her parents are allowing it when they said they were keeping her home under their supervision. She thinks to herself that Madrigal's visit is actually more lonely than when she was just alone.
On her last day there, the girls decide that Madrigal needs to go skiing. There's a ski run between the girls school and the boys school where they all go. Madrigal must have been anticipating this because she brought along a ski outfit. It's described as being crimson and green plaid taffeta with black velvet trim. I'm rolling on the floor laughing at the idea of someone skiing in taffeta when Cooney tells me how fashionable and trendy the outfit is. Seriously? Seriously, Cooney? You really think red and green plaid taffeta is a fashionable thing to ski in? I die. She might too. I'm not sure that's going to keep the cold out very well. (Note: I googled this and they apparently DO use taffeta as lining in ski clothes. I stand corrected. The more you know. I maintain my stance that red and green plaid is not fashionable though - it's Christmas wrapping paper for effs sake.)
ML regrets her decision not to try harder to make friends at school now that she sees how easily Madrigal did it and how fun her classmates really are. She realizes she could have been living Madrigal's weekend all along and she's saddened. She's also very jealous of Madrigal. On the ski outing, Madrigal is always surrounded by people and ML is left out and alone. Suddenly for no reason that I can deduce, Madrigal pulls ML into an empty bathroom and convinces her to change outfits so that ML can experience what it's like to be popular. Madrigal says afterwards they will reveal the switch and everyone will realize how much fun ML is and she'll remain popular after Madrigal is gone.
I smell a plot device coming. It's rank too. If you can't smell what's about to happen next then you must have an awful cold or something and I feel very sorry for you. Grab a kleenex and blow.
The girls switch places and ML has the time of her life being Madrigal. The girls tell her how much more interesting she is than her sister. Ouch. And how much they wish she went to school with them instead of "ML". Double ouch. It's never a good idea to eavesdrop on people's thoughts of you. You always end up hearing things you wished you hadn't. ML realizes then that Madrigal's plan won't work. Even after they reveal that it was ML all along, nothing will change and everything will go back to how it was before.
She realizes her parents did the right thing by separating them, but she hopes she won't have to be sent away again next year. She plans to tell her parents that she will live an independent life from Madrigal if they will just let her come home.
Madrigal, still disguised as ML, goes up the ski lift to make one last run down the mountain. The cable on her car snaps and she falls down onto the rocks below.
Madrigal dies. ML becomes hysterical and they have to take her to the hospital and sedate her. She keeps telling them that she's ML and Madrigal is the one who died but no one believes her. They think she's just in shock from watching her twin die.
ML worries that everyone will be disappointed that she's the one who lived and wonders if she should just keep pretending to be Madrigal. She decides if her mom and dad don't realize she's ML when they come to get her, then she'll just keep pretending to be Madrigal. Her parents don't seem to recognize that anything's amiss so ML decides to become Madrigal.
"Mary Lee" is cremated and her funeral is packed but none of the teens present come to speak to ML. Jon Pear does not attend. ML starts to regret wishing for Madrigal's life. It seems just as lonely right now as the one she left behind. She begins to have serious identity crises. She can't seem to remember who she is at any given moment which is really just dumb. She KNOWS who she is and she knows she's pretending. It's not like she's being brainwashed or anything. Cooney really doesn't write well enough to pull a plot like this off, either. It's hella confusing to read and mostly just made me swear a lot.
ML gets to school and realizes that everyone has an assigned spot and she has no idea where Madrigal's spot is. They have assigned parking spots? That blows my mind for some reason. We just had to fend for ourselves and hope we got one at my high school. How on earth is she going to figure out which locker to use or which classes to go to? She's actually living my frustrating high school nightmares where I try over and over to get to class but can't remember my locker combination or keep dialing it wrong. She clearly didn't think this pretending thing out very well.
She's a little daunted at the idea of having to pull off being Madrigal but she knows if she doesn't, her life is going to suck and she's just going to be loser Mary Lee again.
This book is so stupid, y'all. Sigh.
The principal meets her inside the doors to offer condolences on behalf of the school. He seems a little scared of her so ML takes advantage of that and orders him to walk her to her first class. I guess her problem of not knowing where to go is now solved. For one class anyway. She probably has seven or eight more to go and she doesn't seem worried enough about how she'll figure that out. Again, I'm pretty sure ML is actually 5 years old here.
She sees Van and wants to run straight into his arms. Van doesn't seem too happy to see her though. He gives her a hostile look. This should have been her first clue that maybe Madrigal wasn't as popular as she claimed to be, but ML just ignores it as she ignores everything that might make her think and hurt her widdle head. She sees Jon Pear. I have no idea how she knows it's him. Madrigal never described him. There's no picture of him anywhere and he didn't come to the funeral. But she KNOWS. {insert eye roll} He seems dangerous to her which gets her all excited. Great. One of those. Jon Pear winks at her and ML says it's sickeningly violent. What is it with Point Horror authors and these feeling-laden winks? There was one in Secret Admirer too that weirdly became Dean's reason for not being the bad guy even though he effing was. How is a wink sickeningly violent anyway? I can't even picture this without seeing Jon Pear having tiny little daggers attached to his eyelashes which is frankly just weird. Moving on.
ML concludes from this violent wink that Jon Pear is sexy because violence = sexy. Wow. Nice lesson for all the teen girls reading your books, Cooney. I kinda hate you right now.
After class, Jon Pear asks her if she missed the "little gifts" they used to give each other. Um, am I the only one who reads this as they poop on each other's lawns or something? Yeah, I probably am. But when I hear "little gifts" my mind just goes there. I can't help it. STOP JUDGING ME.
She realizes she has no idea where to go and asks him to walk her to her next class. On the way he says "You want to do it again, don't you?" She has no idea what he's talking about, but his wink is violent so she loves him and says yes she does. Whoa, girl, who knows what you just consented to. Maybe he just asked you if you want to eat the neighbors goldfish or something. He responds to this by smiling and saying "I am Jon Pear." Double you. Tee. Eff. In what world does this book make any sense at all?
As they walk down the hall, ML notices that everyone is lining the walls and staring at them. That's bizarre but she sees it as a sign of how popular they are and how everyone wants to be in their presence. Narcissistic much, ML? Jon Pear asks her if they should choose again. I would really advise ML to figure out what the holy hell he's talking about before she just agrees again. This shit's dangerous. ML tells us that he's just reeking with evil right now but she apparently thinks that's sexy too. Sigh.
Jon Pear tells her that he's her twin now and she starts to cry because she realizes that her twin is gone. He holds a tiny glass vial up to her face to capture one of her tears. Then he puts a black stopper in the top and she notices he's wearing it around his neck on a chain. Because THAT'S completely normal and all. He captures another tear on his finger and then eats it.
Seriously. What am I reading? Can I stop now? You know it's only going to get worse from here.
Okay, okay. I'm reading. I'm typing. Read the book, Cinderelly. Type the recap Cinderelly.
ML thinks to herself that maybe being Mary Lee wasn't so bad and boarding school was kind of nice after all. Jon Pear is clearly evil and she can't figure out why Madrigal loved him. Excuse me? YOU LOVE HIM because he has daggers on his eyelashes and eats effing tears.
I'm not even kidding, y'all. In the next paragraph ML tells us that her hair has always had feelings and so do her stolen tears. She can "feel" them hanging around Jon Pear's neck in the bottle.
Sigh.
ML tells Jon Pear that he's obviously not her twin. Because she's 5 years old and cannot fathom that he's speaking in metaphor. She tells him that she's sad because her sister is gone and he laughs at her and says she doesn't miss her sister. He kisses her and even though she just told us he reeks of evil and she can't imagine why her sister liked him, his kiss makes ML want to attach herself to him 4eva. She wants to make out with him until they both die of exhaustion. I want to shake her a little.
After they come up for air, Jon Pear tells her again that she doesn't miss her sister and congratulates her on getting rid of "Mary Lee" as planned. He tells her that he loves her and ML decides he can be her twin after all.
Scarlett tears herself away from the crowd lining the hall and approaches them. She says "You know what I think about you but I'm still sorry about Mary Lee." It's clear that Scarlett thinks Madrigal is pure crap and ML is surprised that anyone would think badly of Madrigal. She yearns for Scarlett's friendship, though, and invites her to go......somewhere. My book has a printing error and the rest of the sentence is completely smudged out. If only that had happened more in this book. But how am I supposed to go on without knowing where ML invited Scarlett? I feel an emptiness in my soul now.
Van busts in and says that Scarlett will never go anywhere with "Madrigal" again. JP sneers and says he's glad Scarlett has a big brother to protect her after "the episode". He orders the crowd to never mention Mary Lee again and bans her from all topics of conversation.
School goes on after that, but ML spends the entire day thinking about Jon Pear and learns absolutely nothing. I'm not surprised. They meet up again after school and ML comments that she hasn't been able to cry about her sister the rest of the day. Jon Pear says it's because he has her tear. She asks him what he'll do with it and he seems to think she's playing at being a big fucking idiot because he smiles and says he likes this new game she's playing.
At home later, ML reflects that she feels like Jon Pear really is her identical twin now. They are connected just like she and Madrigal used to be. She feels like she knows his interior and he knows hers. Whoa, Cooney. I don't think this is that kind of a book. Simmer down.
ML decides to search Madrigal's room for some hint of Jon Pear like a love note or one of those "little gifts" he mentioned. She finds nothing. She does discover 3 books that she also purchased while away at boarding school and reminisces about how often the two of them went shopping separately but ended up buying the exact same thing. Wait. Earlier she told us she only went shopping without Madrigal ONCE. So how did this happen often? Consistency, Cooney. Work on it. Anyway, she remembers a time where she and Madrigal bought the same barrette and wore it on the same day in the exact same way. She remembers how furious Madrigal had been. She had screamed at her parents "Why did you have to have twins? I want to be one person! Make her go away!" So ML couldn't possibly be as clueless as she pretended to be in the beginning of the book. There were clear signs that Madrigal wanted to be separated from her. I'm sure she ignored them just like she ignores everything else that she finds difficult.
She goes into her old room. (She's been staying in Madrigal's, of course, since she's supposed to BE her.) It's pretty much empty. Instead of having her things shipped back from the school, her parents had the headmaster dispose of them. She decides that she has to tell her parents who she really is because being Madrigal is too complicated. She heads downstairs but then overhears her parents talking about how good it was that the right twin died. She's crushed and decides to keep being Madrigal.
Back in Madrigal's room, the mirror speaks to her.
I'm done. I can't go on.
The rest of this chapter doesn't even make sense. She says the mirror talks to her. Then there's a flashback or something of Madrigal doing the Snow White thing in front of the mirror and the mirror answering her that there were two who were the fairest of them all. It's unbelievably confusing. Cooney really can't pull this off. You can't tell whether you're in the past or the present and whether the mirror is actually talking to her now or she's remembering the mirror talking to Madrigal.
I HATE THIS BOOK. I am so done. It must be burned.
So the fucking mirror talks. I think. Either ML is having a psychotic break or I am. Either way this book must die.
The next day ML goes back to school and she tries to talk to Van this time. She tells him how much she likes Scarlett and he tells her he will never let her anywhere near his sister again. ML still can't figure out that Madrigal must have done some pretty awful things to Scarlett while ML was at boarding school. She's so dumb, y'all. So dumb.
Instead of that all too obvious conclusion, ML decides that Van has a crush on Madrigal.
So dumb.
Van tells her that she got what she wanted and "sweet Mary Lee" is gone. Now she's whole instead of half and she should just leave everyone alone and stick with Jon Pear.
Now ML decides that Van is on drugs. It's like she can't wrap her puny little brain around the fact that Madrigal did something terrible that she doesn't know about yet. Because clearly NOTHING can happen if ML didn't actually see it. Everything she can't see ceases to exist until she sees it again.
The history teacher asks if anyone will volunteer to do a class project with "Madrigal" and no one will. ML realizes Madrigal has no friends - just enemies. I can't get excited about this flicker of mental clarity because ML has had several of those and they never turn the light on.
Cooney gets really random and throws in several paragraphs about how much ML loves food and talking about food and thinking about food and eating food. We hear about every single thing ML picks up and puts on her lunch tray and her reasons behind selecting each item. I'm starting to think this was a NaNoWriMo project for Cooney one November and she was just throwing in crap to make her word count.
ML goes to eat lunch with Scarlett and Van comes up and jerks her chair away, knocking her to the floor. He tells her to back the fuck away from his sister and go die. Well, maybe not those EXACT words, but the meaning was pretty evident to everyone but ML. Jon Pear appears in the cafeteria and compliments Scarlett on how good she is at making scenes. ML whimpers that she just wants to be friends but Van tells her she has no friends because everyone is afraid of her.
Jon Pear tells her not to worry her pretty little head because she has him and they can get to work on her next gift. Van tells him not to bother because he's warned everyone and Jon Pear won't find any more victims there.
ML tries to tell them that she's not Madrigal but no one listens to her at all.
ML and Jon Pear walk away and ML asks him who Madrigal was. He tells her to cut it out because she IS Madrigal and she knows good and well that Madrigal IS evil. Well, not all evil, he concedes. He is all evil. Madrigal is just mixed evil. But she goes along with all this plans because she has fun being bad.
Jon Pear tells her it's her turn to pick the victim. When she refuses, he snarls at her to just do it and then he kisses her. She likes the kiss. She tells him that he can have her turn to pick. In her head, she thinks that she will figure out what the game is and put a stop to it and the whole school will love her and call her a hero. She really has the reasoning skills of a 5-year-old child. And she has a little bit of an inflated opinion about herself as well.
Jon Pear says they can cruise the town to find someone. Van has warned everyone at their school, but there are other schools. ML smugly thinks to herself about how she's going to end this even though she doesn't have one effing clue what "this" even is. Jon Pear cruises around until they find a student standing alone watching marching band practice. He gets out to talk to her, leaving ML in the car. After a few moments, he and the girl come back to the car.
The girl seems friendly and is excited because Jon Pear has told her that they are driving into the city. Her name is Katy and she actually goes to their school and knows who they are but she apparently has either not heard Van's warning or doesn't care. Jon Pear drives toward the city while Katy chatters on. ML thinks about bailing out of the car but the doors won't open.
Jon Pear exits in a bad part of town. There are gangs and rats and general filthiness. Jon Pear stops the car and tells Katy to get out and get in the front seat where she will be safer. Even ML knows this is bad idea and tries to tell Katy not to get out, but Katy is charmed by Jon Pear and does what he says. As soon as she's out of the car, he locks the doors and starts to super slowly drive away. Katy runs after it, pounding on the car and shouting for them to let her back in.
Jon Pear says that he loves the panic. ML realizes that Jon Pear and Madrigal did this to a bunch of people and she asks him to describe to her what happened with Scarlett. Jon Pear tells him Scarlett was his favorite because she was so traumatized that she had to spend time in a mental hospital. Then he kisses ML and says he wants to see her fear now. He puts her out of the car and she's determined not to show his fear. She's pretty successful until a rat comes up to chew on her shoe and then she takes off running.
She ends up running into Katy and Jon Pear comes to pick them both up and puts them both into the car. He ends up eating one of Katy's tears and ML thinks that he's subhuman. Jon Pear manages to convince Katy that she had a wonderful time and enjoyed herself. He kisses her and then drops her off at home before driving ML back to the school.
ML tells him that they can't do this again. Jon Pear tells her that he has plans to turn the whole school evil and she says that's impossible because there are too many good people there like Van. It was a mistake. Jon Pear gets enraged at the idea that she likes Van. He conveniently sees Van come out of the school right at that moment and goes after him.
ML steps between Van and Jon Pear. Van thinks it's part of an act on her part to make them think she's on their side before doing something awful to them. Can't really blame him. Madrigal was clearly an awful person and ML is five. In front of a growing number of classmates, Jon Pear asks if she remembers the day they stood there and watched a man drown without helping.
ML again tells everyone that she isn't Madrigal. She explains about switching the snowsuits and getting mixed up. Jon Pear says there's no way that's true because he would have known. Scarlett believes her though. ML apologizes for everything her sister did to Scarlett and they walk off toward the parking lot again.
Van isn't fully convinced that ML is Mary Lee. He really seems too smart for this book and I feel sorry for him that he has to exist in these pages with ML and Jon Pear. He and Scarlett leave and ML gets in her car to go home. It won't start. Jon Pear gets in the passenger side and tells her he disabled it. When exactly? He would have had to do it before they left to find Katy. How did he know he'd need to do it? It makes no sense. NONE.
He says he doesn't care if she's ML. He'll make her evil like he made Madrigal evil. She tells him that he's not evil and special but simply ordinary and mean. There's nothing unique about being mean. It's the worst insult she could have given him and he's all butthurt. He lashes out and tells her that Madrigal was born bad and got worse. She hated being a twin and wanted Mary Lee to disappear.
ML lectures him about mending his ways and tells him that he better not do anything to ruin the Winter Sleigh Day coming up on Saturday. She really goads him with it and I'm hoping that it's deliberate and she has some kind of plan because, if not, she's really horrendously dumb. He takes the bait. Man, I hope it was bait.
He fixes her car and she goes home. As soon as she walks in the door, she tells her parents that she's Mary Lee. They hug her and tell her they knew all along. Huh? This has to be a joke. They say they could see how much she wanted Madrigal's life so they just allowed it. But wait. They knew and they still had all the Mary Lee stuff disposed of? That's nice. They tell her that Madrigal was always a scary little girl and she had begun to look at ML with so much hatred that they were scared. So they sent ML away for her own good and tried to fix Madrigal. Only she got worse instead of better.
Now it's Sleigh Day and I'm waiting for this big plan of ML's to fall into place. There isn't one, by the way. I have no idea what she thought she accomplished by getting him focused on Sleigh Day but she has no plan. I kinda expected that but it's a disappointment anyway. They are standing beside a pond that's labeled as dangerous because of thin ice. All of a sudden their classmates surround them. I thought this was the great plan except ML doesn't seem to know anything about it. They all have icicles as weapons and it's clear they intend to drive Jon Pear out on the ice and watch him fall through and drown. ML tries to stop them. She tells them they have to be better than this. They don't care.
ML sees a small child headed for the pond. He can't stop and ends up falling through the ice. ML saves him and in the meantime she notices that Jon Pear has disappeared. As she leaves the ice, she sees Jon Pear under it and wonders if one of the classmates drowned him or if it had been an accident in the confusion of saving the little child. She decides it doesn't matter though because her hands are clean and we all know if she doesn't have a part it in, it doesn't exist.
The End.
This book is going in the fire. I can't even. I really can't.
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